|
F+
|
40%
|
The Ringer (2005) |
"
The Ringer is appalling."
—
Oregonian
Posted Dec 27, 2005
|
|
F
|
6%
|
Underclassman (2005) |
"
Once in a great while -- usually late August -- a movie comes along that's so lame, it doesn't deserve a bad review. It deserves a war-crimes tribunal."
—
Oregonian
Posted Sep 2, 2005
|
|
D-
|
16%
|
Turistas (Paradise Lost) (2006) |
"
This is Fox's first release under its new youth label, 'Fox Atomic' -- and it makes me fear not for the children, but for what Fox executives think the children want to see."
—
Oregonian
Posted Dec 1, 2006
|
|
D-
|
22%
|
The Pink Panther (2006) |
"
Soul-quakingly lame."
—
Oregonian
Posted Feb 10, 2006
|
|
D-
|
46%
|
Eurotrip (2003) |
"
Eurotrip is quite possibly the single most artless gross-out comedy I have ever seen."
—
Oregonian
Posted Feb 20, 2004
|
|
D
|
13%
|
The Women (2008) |
"
English seems to confuse empowerment with narcissism."
—
Oregonian
Posted Sep 12, 2008
|
|
D
|
37%
|
You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008) |
"
You Don't Mess With the Zohan might actually be the stupidest movie with good intentions that I've ever seen."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jun 6, 2008
|
|
D
|
14%
|
The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007) |
"
The shameless Potter/Tolkien recycling is the least of this movie's problems."
—
Oregonian
Posted Oct 5, 2007
|
|
D
|
17%
|
Georgia Rule (2007) |
"
Georgia Rule is a comedy-drama about three generations of women learning to love one another in a small town. It's also an icky soap opera about these women coming to terms with a revelation of sex abuse."
—
Oregonian
Posted May 11, 2007
|
|
D
|
15%
|
The Condemned (2007) |
"
There are some nicely over-the-top moments in this Battle Royale/Running Man puree -- most involving people plummeting and blowing up. But the misogyny and choppy action edits spoil the fun."
—
Oregonian
Posted Apr 27, 2007
|
|
D
|
23%
|
Freedomland (2006) |
"
Freedomland is the worst kind of bad movie: one that thinks it's important."
—
Oregonian
Posted Feb 17, 2006
|
|
D
|
47%
|
Hoodwinked (2005) |
"
It's horrible. It's wretched. It's Limburger pickled in castor oil."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jan 13, 2006
|
|
D
|
19%
|
Domino (2005) |
"
In small doses, this looks kind of cool. For two hours, it's excruciating."
—
Oregonian
Posted Oct 14, 2005
|
|
D
|
22%
|
In My Country (2005) |
"
A really bad movie about a really important subject is twice the artistic crime -- because, however well-intentioned, it trivializes human suffering while squandering a teaching opportunity."
—
Oregonian
Posted Apr 8, 2005
|
|
D
|
18%
|
Suspect Zero (2004) |
"
Among the lamest serial-killer movies ever made."
—
Oregonian
Posted Aug 27, 2004
|
|
D
|
23%
|
Raising Helen (2004) |
"
This goopy dramedy is unfunny, mentally bankrupt and makes parenthood look like a terrifying death sentence."
—
Oregonian
Posted May 28, 2004
|
|
D
|
29%
|
The Punisher (2004) |
"
It actually makes the 1989 version (starring Dolph Lundgren) look pretty good by comparison."
—
Oregonian
Posted Apr 16, 2004
|
|
|
20%
|
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) |
"
Revenge of the Fallen almost feels like it's signaling an end-game for blockbuster movies: all sensation, no content, catastrophic expense."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jun 24, 2009
|
|
|
23%
|
Mad Money (2008) |
"
Actually, one cast member doesn't even bother to phone it in: The once-charming Katie Holmes is stunningly horrible as a granola-head diabetic who lives in a trailer."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jan 18, 2008
|
|
|
37%
|
The Skeleton Key (2005) |
"
After getting off to a decent, somewhat muted start, Skeleton Key just gets sillier and sillier and sillier until it's yet another one of those stupid, noisy thrillers where everyone's running around in a house, yelling and falling down."
—
Oregonian
Posted Aug 12, 2005
|
|
|
13%
|
Rebound (2005) |
"
It's just another bland, junior-high-basketball riff on The Bad News Bears formula, one that takes every single dramatic cue from the underdog sports-movie playbook."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jul 1, 2005
|
|
|
41%
|
High Tension (Switchblade Romance) (2005) |
"
I was annoyed by Levasseur and Aja's desertion of their tense, simple plot in favor of tedious 'plot twists' that could, frankly, use a rest."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jun 10, 2005
|
|
|
25%
|
House of Wax (2005) |
"
Yet another teens-versus- hillbillies slasher flick."
—
Oregonian
Posted May 6, 2005
|
|
|
20%
|
The Ring Two (2005) |
"
A mild disaster."
—
Oregonian
Posted Mar 18, 2005
|
|
|
20%
|
The Pacifier (2005) |
"
Makes Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London look like a Bond film."
—
Oregonian
Posted Mar 4, 2005
|
|
|
15%
|
Diary of a Mad Black Woman (2005) |
"
Tries to be every single movie ever made all at once, leaving the viewer with the emotional equivalent of whiplash."
—
Oregonian
Posted Feb 25, 2005
|
|
|
88%
|
The Woodsman (2004) |
"
A slightly better-made movie of the week."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jan 21, 2005
|
|
|
10%
|
Elektra (2005) |
"
Like Big Trouble in Little China without the laughs."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jan 14, 2005
|
|
|
9%
|
White Noise (2005) |
"
Boring and fundamentally silly."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jan 7, 2005
|
|
|
23%
|
Fat Albert (2004) |
"
Rather than making a movie about Fat Albert, they've decided to make a movie that comments on the Fat Albert TV series."
—
Oregonian
Posted Dec 24, 2004
|
|
|
30%
|
Flight of the Phoenix (2004) |
"
Despite its occasional nods to flashy editing and pop scoring, Flight of the Phoenix ends up feeling like the sort of leisurely man's-man adventure movie you used to be able to catch on Sunday afternoon TV."
—
Oregonian
Posted Dec 17, 2004
|
|
|
72%
|
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004) |
"
Sometimes trying a little less hard to be 'funny' can yield greater laughs when you're playing with the lightly macabre."
—
Oregonian
Posted Dec 17, 2004
|
|
|
26%
|
Blade: Trinity (2004) |
"
Its biggest problem is that Blade himself takes a back seat to a host of new and mostly uninteresting characters."
—
Oregonian
Posted Dec 10, 2004
|
|
|
44%
|
National Treasure (2004) |
"
A decidedly less exciting popcorn movie that tries to mix Indiana Jones, The Da Vinci Code and several strands of conspiracy theory in one blandly entertaining package."
—
Oregonian
Posted Nov 19, 2004
|
|
|
18%
|
After the Sunset (2004) |
"
Limp, implausible, unthrilling, unfunny and vaguely sleazy."
—
Oregonian
Posted Nov 12, 2004
|
|
|
48%
|
Saw (2004) |
"
What makes Saw so awful is that it starts with a clever premise and then completely blows it."
—
Oregonian
Posted Oct 29, 2004
|
|
|
29%
|
Around the Bend (2004) |
"
It's a particularly precious form of art-house entertainment, well-acted but ultimately mawkish and forcibly odd, the indie-film equivalent of a Hallmark card."
—
Oregonian
Posted Oct 22, 2004
|
|
|
41%
|
Ladder 49 (2004) |
"
We all know firefighters are heroes; show us the humans under the hats."
—
Oregonian
Posted Oct 1, 2004
|
|
|
41%
|
Zhou Yu's Train (2004) |
"
[An] over-conceived, over-edited, under-written perfume ad."
—
Oregonian
Posted Sep 10, 2004
|
|
|
5%
|
Yu-Gi-Oh! - The Movie (Yûgiô: Gekijô-ban) (2004) |
"
A shabby, joyless, 90-minute slab of 'advertainment' designed to sell booster packs for a popular trading-card game."
—
Oregonian
Posted Aug 13, 2004
|
|
|
4%
|
The Whole Ten Yards (2003) |
"
The story makes absolutely no sense."
—
Oregonian
Posted Apr 9, 2004
|
|
D+
|
42%
|
The Other Boleyn Girl (2008) |
"
A mild disaster."
—
Oregonian
Posted Feb 29, 2008
|
|
D+
|
29%
|
Trade (2007) |
"
There's really no nice way to put this: Trade wants to be the Traffic of sex slavery, and it fails at that task in ways that are alternately dreary, pretentious and vaguely sleazy."
—
Oregonian
Posted Sep 28, 2007
|
|
D+
|
5%
|
THR3E (2007) |
"
A tame variation on the usual serial-killer art direction and a hilarious number of A-Team-style explosions in which no one is killed. It's offensively dull."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jan 5, 2007
|
|
C-
|
25%
|
Friday the 13th (2009) |
"
Go rent the one where Jason takes Manhattan, or something."
—
Oregonian
Posted Feb 13, 2009
|
|
C-
|
19%
|
Dark Streets (2008) |
"
The script is just all kinds of terrible."
—
Oregonian
Posted Dec 12, 2008
|
|
C-
|
58%
|
The Secret Life of Bees (2008) |
"
Ultimately, if you think about it too hard, Bees is a movie in which a bunch of powerful African American women get their lives upended and in some cases destroyed so a little white girl can feel better about herself."
—
Oregonian
Posted Oct 17, 2008
|
|
C-
|
60%
|
Bra Boys (2008) |
"
Thanks to the documentarian also making his family the film's subject, Bra Boys feels more than a little like a violence-glorifying infomercial."
—
Oregonian
Posted May 30, 2008
|
|
C-
|
52%
|
Nim's Island (2008) |
"
Nim's Island never finds its focus, and there's never a real sense of danger."
—
Oregonian
Posted Apr 4, 2008
|
|
C-
|
16%
|
Untraceable (2008) |
"
Untraceable is also relentlessly grim and dull, and runs afoul of all the pitfalls you find in movies in which people rely on computers to do their detecting."
—
Oregonian
Posted Jan 25, 2008
|
85%
79%
7%
