|
D
|
9%
|
Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000) |
"
What ensues is painfully horrific and reprehensible as entertainment."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jul 21, 2005
|
|
D
|
15%
|
White Chicks (2004) |
"
The premise veers wildly from its fertile setup, thanks to acting that isn't broad so much as grotesque, humor that's isn't smart so much as witlessly vulgar, and preposterous plotting that insults the intelligence."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jun 23, 2004
|
|
D
|
35%
|
Neil Young - Greendale (2004) |
"
You're better off listening to the album than watching this almost unwatchable movie."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Apr 16, 2004
|
|
D
|
16%
|
The Big Bounce (2004) |
"
Bounce feels as dated and condescending as Blue Hawaii."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 30, 2004
|
|
D
|
63%
|
Cabin Fever (2002) |
"
It's a mean-spirited, drunken stumble of a movie unspooling in an endless loop of panicky foolishness."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Sep 11, 2003
|
|
D
|
38%
|
40 Days and 40 Nights (2002) |
"
A base guy flick that's clueless about women, relationships and emotion, and even flirts with sacrilege."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Mar 1, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
89%
|
Eastern Promises (2007) |
"
What it's really about, more than sensitivity for displaced people or social analyses, is violence -- hideous, gruesome, over-the-top violence."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Sep 14, 2007
|
|
1/4
|
51%
|
Flannel Pajamas (2006) |
"
Flannel Pajamas is so gorged with gab it feels like a filibuster."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Apr 1, 2007
|
|
1.5
|
7%
|
Basic Instinct 2 (2006) |
"
Using the same basic plot as 1992's original, BI2 feels less like a sequel than a remake whose shelf life has expired."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Mar 31, 2006
|
|
|
43%
|
Bee Season (2005) |
"
Fragmented and obtuse, with characters who fail to resonate."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Nov 18, 2005
|
|
1/4
|
26%
|
Stay (2005) |
"
It's hard to imagine a film more perversely obtuse than this dark, grim exercise in cinematic sleight of hand."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Oct 21, 2005
|
|
|
38%
|
Brother Bear (2003) |
"
A lame duck of a movie."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jul 21, 2005
|
|
|
10%
|
Soldier (1998) |
"
The action is handled fairly well, but it's routine, and there's no satisfaction in seeing Todd waste men who are no more bloodthirsty than he is."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jul 21, 2005
|
|
|
47%
|
The Princess Diaries (2001) |
"
Screenwriter Gina Wendkos, working from Meg Cabot's novel, resorts to monotonous movie clichés: almost uniformly cruel classmates and a callous, cacophonous mob of media jackals."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jul 21, 2005
|
|
1/4
|
20%
|
The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D (2005) |
"
Squinting through cardboard glasses you get at the door, you see washed-out colors, blurred images and not enough pop-out to merit the trade-off."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jun 10, 2005
|
|
1/4
|
1%
|
Alone in the Dark (2005) |
"
Frighteningly bad cinema is the only thing scary about Alone in the Dark, which gives video-game movies an even worse name, if that's possible."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 28, 2005
|
|
1/4
|
36%
|
Shark Tale (2004) |
"
Shrilly pandering to edgy, jive-talking, hip-hopping bents of the moment, [Shark Tale] churns up a sea of offensive ethnic stereotypes, unfunny situations, unsympathetic characters and lousy plotting."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Oct 1, 2004
|
|
1/4
|
65%
|
Ghost in the Shell 2 - Innocence (2004) |
"
Portentous and pretentious, Shell 2 crawls along like a machine on low batteries."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Sep 17, 2004
|
|
|
10%
|
Slackers (2002) |
"
Unlike Rushmore, Slackers sends subtlety and cleverness to the back of the class, while labored lunacy wears its dunce cap front row, center."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Feb 1, 2002
|
|
|
32%
|
Charlotte Gray (2002) |
"
The pace is so lethargic and the focus so diffuse that it's hard to get a fix on Charlotte beyond needless glamorization."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 25, 2002
|
|
|
8%
|
The Wash (2001) |
"
Shows not how far we've come since '76, but how low comic standards have sunk."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Nov 15, 2001
|
|
|
12%
|
Thirteen Ghosts (13 Ghosts) (2001) |
"
More bark than creepy bite."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Oct 25, 2001
|
|
|
49%
|
Riding in Cars with Boys (2001) |
"
Too much of its reality involves joyless response to circumstantial failure, and instead of being ironic or bittersweet, it's mostly bitter."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Oct 19, 2001
|
|
|
6%
|
Corky Romano (2001) |
"
This isn't just bad. It's an abject failure whose lame nuttiness evokes bad dinner theater more than a major studio movie."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Oct 12, 2001
|
|
|
29%
|
Max Keeble's Big Move (2001) |
"
Children may enjoy its food fights, barf gags, slimy gross-outs, kid-power fantasies and adults' comic discomfiture, but there's not much here for anyone over 12."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Oct 6, 2001
|
|
|
50%
|
Hearts in Atlantis (2001) |
"
Put simply, the movie drags."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Sep 28, 2001
|
|
|
7%
|
Glitter (2001) |
"
have risen above screenwriter Kate Lanier's mundane show-biz saga."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Sep 26, 2001
|
|
|
38%
|
Hardball (2001) |
"
Hardball is an unpleasant tale of questionable redemption for a guy who rightly says, 'I'm just a loser.'"
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Sep 13, 2001
|
|
|
4%
|
Soul Survivors (2000) |
"
For an exploitation flick, Soul Survivors also is woefully slow."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Sep 10, 2001
|
|
|
12%
|
The Girl (2001) |
"
This may be a slow film, but there are worse settings for aimlessness."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Aug 31, 2001
|
|
|
7%
|
Summer Catch (2001) |
"
Summer Catch is supposed to be end-of -summer fun, but it's about as fun as learning to eat your spinach."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Aug 24, 2001
|
|
|
29%
|
Bubble Boy (2001) |
"
If anything, it's the filmmakers who seem insulated, working cluelessly within the plastic bubble of Hollywood."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Aug 23, 2001
|
|
|
52%
|
The Fast and the Furious (2001) |
"
These gear-heads may spout car-talk like know-it-alls, but they sound no less nerdy than trivia-obsessed Trekkers."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jun 22, 2001
|
|
|
49%
|
Atlantis - The Lost Empire (2001) |
"
Its visuals are executed skillfully, it takes time to develop characters, and its voice cast has personality. But in today's context of broadened animation appeals, Atlantis seems as stale as uncirculated submarine air."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jun 14, 2001
|
|
|
30%
|
The Animal (2001) |
"
A silly, stupid story with a one-joke comic premise."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jun 4, 2001
|
|
|
8%
|
The Forsaken (2001) |
"
As hard as it tries, this film is no Near Dark -- not nearly."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Apr 30, 2001
|
|
|
11%
|
Freddy Got Fingered (2001) |
"
Doesn't push the limits of taste so much as the limits of how bad a movie can be."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Apr 20, 2001
|
|
|
15%
|
Tomcats (2001) |
"
Of course, we expect such films to be tasteless. That's their job. But that doesn't forgive them for being more abusive than bawdy or more sleazy than kinky."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Mar 30, 2001
|
|
|
20%
|
Monkeybone (2001) |
"
Most of the movie is grotesque and creepy in the worst way."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Feb 23, 2001
|
|
|
8%
|
Valentine (2001) |
"
The standard stalker stuff that Scream satirized."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Feb 5, 2001
|
|
|
28%
|
Sugar & Spice (2001) |
"
A setup stretched as thinly over feature length as the average movie-bound Saturday Night Live sketch."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 26, 2001
|
|
|
14%
|
Dracula 2000 (2000) |
"
Any new vampire film needs fresh blood, and this one is clotted with clichés, including its Matrix-style acrobatics."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Dec 24, 2000
|
|
|
10%
|
Dungeons & Dragons (2000) |
"
Sinks in a sea of cheesy effects, cheap clichés, dispiriting narrative and the one thing an action fantasy can't afford: boredom."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Dec 8, 2000
|
|
|
17%
|
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - The Next Generation (The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre) (1994) |
"
From electric cattle prods to human infernos, it's an tough, rough ride."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 1, 2000
|
|
|
13%
|
Book of Shadows - Blair Witch 2 (2000) |
"
Though BW2 eschews the first film's jumpy visuals, its erraticism as a narrative is even worse."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 1, 2000
|
|
|
52%
|
What's Cooking? (2000) |
"
The film's gluttonous overkill of food is matched only by its overacting."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 1, 2000
|
|
|
10%
|
The Watcher (2000) |
"
The Watcher is a numbingly familiar exercise in fear, disgorging regular doses of grisly violence buoyed by precious little plot and pitifully thin character development."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 1, 2000
|
|
|
16%
|
Jack Frost (1998) |
"
Its sentiment is rote, its truths are culled from a trip down the aisles of a greeting-card shop."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 1, 2000
|
|
|
36%
|
Scream 3 (2000) |
"
You're bound to scream -- perhaps real loud -- but it may be out of impatient dismay as much as Pavlovian reaction."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 1, 2000
|
|
|
25%
|
The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000) |
"
The key to appreciating The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas is low expectations."
—
Houston Chronicle
Posted Jan 1, 2000
|
85%
79%
7%
