|
1/5
|
32%
|
My Last Five Girlfriends (2009) |
"
Taking the central role of Duncan is Brendan Patricks, a pallid chap with pink watery eyes that make him look like a rabbit in the final stages of myxomatosis."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Mar 19, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
5%
|
Old Dogs (2009) |
"
Most repellent is the undercurrent of homophobia, the brutal cultural stereotyping and the fact that Travolta looks like a man wearing a slightly melted rubber John Travolta Hallowe'en mask."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Mar 19, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
62%
|
Hachi: A Dog's Tale (2009) |
"
The man who once directed What's Eating Gilbert Grape? is now the Hallmark greeting card of movie-makers."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Mar 15, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
20%
|
Motherhood (2009) |
"
This whiny drivel makes me ashamed to be a woman."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Mar 5, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
22%
|
Freestyle (2004) |
"
Freestyle is a string of flashily edited musical montages of East London youth playing basketball, hung on the flimsy framework of a sub-Grange-Hill-quality script."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Feb 26, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
21%
|
Leap Year (2010) |
"
The film is packed with spontaneous acts of Irish country dancing and twinkly locals beaming over their Guinness. Ireland should sue."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Feb 26, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
7%
|
Holy Water () |
"
It's staggeringly unfunny and skin-crawlingly unsexy, so as sex comedies go, this rather misses the mark."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Feb 5, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
10%
|
Malice in Wonderland (2010) |
"
Despite a certain visual flair, Malice in Wonderland just isn't very good. The screenplay is the main problem - it's just too flat and unimaginative to justify the larger-than- life cartoon characters that populate the movie."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Feb 5, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
7%
|
Post Grad (2009) |
"
he try-hard quirkiness and clunky screenwriting starts to grate after just a few minutes. By the final act, it's not unlike having bamboo splinters inserted under your fingernails."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Jan 5, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
45%
|
The Box (2009) |
"
The clueless and overreaching ambition which has started to characterise [Richard Kelly's] cinematic failures comes into play again."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Dec 4, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
25%
|
Law Abiding Citizen (2009) |
"
Full of incoherent, spitting rage, ignorant, paranoid violence and a complete lack of internal logic."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Nov 27, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
0%
|
Christmas in Wonderland (2007) |
"
With all due respect to his memory, it is truly execrable, a tawdry seasonal exploitation pic set almost entirely within a giant mall. Swayze fans, do yourself a favour and rent Point Break instead."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Nov 20, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
10%
|
Dead Man Running (2009) |
"
Dead Man Running feels like something cobbled together after a cynical producer saw Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and decided to cash in. Except it is ten years too late."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Oct 30, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
25%
|
Blind Dating (2007) |
"
The whole thing ends with a jolly multicultural dance montage so gruesome that temporary blindness would be a blessed relief."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Sep 18, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
38%
|
Passchendaele (2009) |
"
It's hard to overstake how unimaginably dreadful is Passchendaele, a First World War drama that does Canada's already ropey film-making reputation no favours whatsoever."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Sep 4, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
22%
|
Fired Up (2009) |
"
A lamentably unfunny flick."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Jul 10, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
70%
|
Summer Scars (2008) |
"
The writing is perfunctory, the performances are amateurish. And you couldn't care less if the whole lot of them are sliced and diced by the mad tramp."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Jun 5, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
25%
|
Shadows in the Sun (2009) |
"
There's more drama in a breakfast cereal ad."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Jun 5, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
20%
|
Obsessed (2009) |
"
It's execrable; a fist-chewing embarrassment that has no right to a theatrical release."
—
Times [UK]
Posted May 29, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
48%
|
Antichrist (2009) |
"
Given how desperate to shock the film is, it's surprising that long swathes of it are so turgidly dull."
—
Times [UK]
Posted May 18, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
53%
|
French Film (2009) |
"
The writing - unfunny, repetitive - is barely sitcom standard; the lighting is brutal; the performances desperate."
—
Times [UK]
Posted May 15, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
34%
|
Not Easily Broken (2009) |
"
It has all the philosophical depth of a greetings card message but it's underscored with a nasty little edge of misogyny."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Apr 17, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
14%
|
Dragonball Evolution (2009) |
"
Dragonball Evolution is an example of Hollywood at its most calculating and cynical. Utter drivel."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Apr 9, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
13%
|
I Can't Think Straight (2008) |
"
I Can't Think Straight, a glossy contemporary cross-cultural romance between a Palestinian Christian girl and an Anglo-Indian Muslim girl, is spectacularly dreadful."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Apr 3, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
24%
|
The Life Before Her Eyes (2007) |
"
Surely the point of a "twist" is that it should slot into the plot with a satisfying click, not that it should invalidate 50 per cent of what came before it?"
—
Times [UK]
Posted Mar 27, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
34%
|
Knowing (2009) |
"
A clunky screenplay doesn't help matters, but the spectacularly shoddy special effects are the nail in the coffin for this doomsday scenario."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Mar 27, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
9%
|
Reverb (2007) |
"
Occult thriller Reverb soon gets bogged down in implausibility and sloppy writing."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Mar 6, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
28%
|
New In Town (2009) |
"
There are precious few laughs to be found in this tale."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Feb 27, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
55%
|
Fuck (F*ck) (2005) |
"
An example of the very worst kind of documentary film-making. The picture contains no insight, no research and no etymological answers. It is simply a string of choppily edited interviews with comedians, porn actors and the morally outraged."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Feb 12, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
27%
|
Clubbed (2008) |
"
It's a dreadful piece of writing, compounded by an array of shockingly poor performances."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Jan 16, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
11%
|
Bride Wars (2009) |
"
When did chick flicks become so suffused with hatred for womankind? Surely a movie about girls and aimed at girls shouldn't make us feel so bad about being girls?"
—
Times [UK]
Posted Jan 9, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
58%
|
The Secret Life of Bees (2008) |
"
Tragedies strike and life lessons are learnt, homespun wisdom is dispensed. It's simplistic to the point of total idiocy."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Dec 5, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
51%
|
Easy Virtue (2009) |
"
But worst of all is the incessant, unbearably smug soundtrack that drills its way into your brain like a parasite."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Nov 7, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
40%
|
Guta-yubalja-deul (A Bloody Aria) (2006) |
"
It's slow, bloody and pretty much devoid of merit."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Oct 24, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
31%
|
Nights in Rodanthe (2008) |
"
As homespun as a crocheted teacosy; as folksy as an heirloom patchwork quilt and as manufactured as reproduction Shaker furniture - that's Nights in Rodanthe."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Oct 10, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
19%
|
Mutant Chronicles (2008) |
"
But a screenplay that sounds like it was hewn from chunks of wood is a great leveller, so everyone comes out looking equally inept."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Oct 10, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
60%
|
Bigga than Ben (2008) |
"
It's a depressing, grubby-looking little film with an undercurrent of particularly mean-spirited misogyny. You wonder what Suzie Halewood, the director, was thinking."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Oct 10, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
5%
|
88 Minutes (2008) |
"
Interestingly, the more overblown and insincere a performance Pacino delivers in a film, the more self-important and bouffant his hair gets. Here, it's so towering it takes up 90 per cent of the screen."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Oct 3, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
38%
|
Swing Vote (2008) |
"
It's like a party political broadcast brought to you by the Idiot Party."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Sep 26, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
11%
|
Captain Eager and the Mark of Voth (2008) |
"
The kind of quirky labour of love I feel guilty for bashing."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Apr 18, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
13%
|
First Sunday (2008) |
"
The least funny man ever to make a career in comedy movies, Ice Cube hauls his sullen mug back in front of the cameras for the execrable First Sunday."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Mar 28, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
37%
|
Rambo (Rambo IV) (2008) |
"
Stallone may believe that he can turn back the clock to the golden era of his career, but I'm not convinced that this kind of brutal, bellicose naivety sits so well with audiences any more."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Feb 22, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
14%
|
Hitman (2007) |
"
Xavier Gens should have stuck to making music videos rather than inflict his goldfish-like attention-span on cinema."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Nov 30, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
7%
|
Silk (2007) |
"
Crashing bore of a movie."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Nov 9, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
——
|
Bhool Bhulaiya (2007) |
"
A performance of profound and unmitigated dreadfulness."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Oct 12, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
14%
|
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007) |
"
The film-makers behind I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry would probably claim a message of tolerance and personal growth, but this woeful Adam Sandler vehicle is as nasty a piece of sniggering homophobia as I have seen in a long time."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Sep 21, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
41%
|
No Reservations (2007) |
"
After Nick's opera karaoke I was ready to bludgeon my own ears off with a meat tenderiser."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Aug 31, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
7%
|
License to Wed (2007) |
"
Divorce is more fun than this film."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Aug 10, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
23%
|
Evan Almighty (2007) |
"
Staggeringly unfunny."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Aug 3, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
57%
|
Transformers (2007) |
"
Films directed by Michael Bay are usually like being shouted at by a halfwit for two and a half hours, and Transformers is no exception."
—
Times [UK]
Posted Jul 30, 2007
|
63%
——
96%
