Critics » Boyd van Hoeij » Rotten
Boyd van Hoeij

Boyd van Hoeij

Agrees with the Tomatometer 74% of the time.

Biography:
Boyd is the editor of european-films.net, a website about recent and upcoming European films, and a freelance arts and film writer based in Europe. He also contributes festival reviews to US trade paper Variety and to Variety Asia. Further credits include: kamera.co.uk, the website venice-days.com of the Venice Film Festival, Winq Magazine, Expreszo, Dim Sum Magazine, Cannes Market News and MovieScope. Boyd is also the correspondent for the Netherlands and Luxembourg for the European film portal cineuropa.org and the film critic for the Luxembourg monthly Rendez-Vous. Fluent in several languages, his articles have appeared in English, Dutch, French, Italian, Spanish, Estonian and Chinese. He is a member of the Online Film Critics Society. Boyd is always on the look-out for new writing assignments, so drop him a line if you are a good --and possibly, rich-- editor in search of a film writer and have an interesting project that needs writing now.
Favorites:
If I told you that, I'd be out of work.
Publications:
bibloi.com , Cineuropa , european-films.net , Kamera.co.uk , Variety
Critics' Group:
Online Film Critics Society
Total Reviews:
689
Total QuickRatings:
36

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 525
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
0/5 20% Zombie Vs. Mardi Gras (1999) — european-films.net
Posted Jun 10, 2006
72% 36 vues du Pic Saint Loup (Around a Small Mountain) (2010) " Will interest Rivette admirers at fests and in the niche arena but will do nothing to broaden his appeal." — Variety
Posted Jul 6, 2010
69% The Girl Who Played with Fire (Flickan som lekte med elden) (2010) " This subpar Nordic crimer leaves ample room for improvement for the inevitable U.S. remake." — Variety
Posted Jul 6, 2010
—— The Silent Army () " Scribe-helmer Jean van de Velde puts his considerable filmmaking talent at the mercy of a screenplay riddled with cliches and improbabilities." — Variety
Posted Oct 3, 2009
69% [Rec] 2 (2010) " A sequel to the Spanish cult hit that offers an explanation for something that was far more effective when left largely unexplained." — Variety
Posted Sep 3, 2009
—— Nem vagyok a barátod (I Am Not Your Friend) (2009) " Cynical, love-themed criss-crosser set in Budapest features plenty of jiggly vid footage but the improvised characters played by nonpro actors feel so arbitrary it's hard to care about any of them." — Variety
Posted Jul 23, 2009
60% Ricky (2009) " Because Ozon doesn't develop his characters once Ricky shows his true nature, the movie's slightly overcooked working-class realism quickly morphs into a grotesque story of a mutant baby. The film's two halves feel almost mutually exclusive." — Variety
Posted Jun 8, 2009
37% The City of Your Final Destination (2010) " Languid, multi-accented adaptation of the contempo novel by Peter Cameron suffers from an unfocused screenplay and direction." — Variety
Posted Jun 8, 2009
—— The Countess (2011) " Wacky tale of a woman who killed virgins for their blood to keep her skin wrinkle-free might get some traction in Central Europe, where it is set, but won't make it past the Europudding label elsewhere." — Variety
Posted Feb 11, 2009
—— Buddenbrooks (2008) " Big-name German cast is aces, but helmer Heinrich Breloer struggles to lift his big-budget sudser to the level of epic tragedy." — Variety
Posted Jan 20, 2009
—— The Butterfly Tattoo (2009) " Helmer Phil Hawkins and young thesps get the awkward first moments of infatuation just right, but the screenplay's limping second half may hamper theatrical prospects." — Variety
Posted Dec 8, 2008
—— Opium War () " As in Osama, the Afghan writer-helmer again uses a non-pro cast, but the result is stifled by poorly written English dialogue and a failure to reconcile apparent realism with occasional detours into absurdist tragicomedy." — Variety
Posted Dec 8, 2008
—— Serce na dloni (And A Warm Heart) () " A surprisingly simplistic morality tale that offers few laughs and even less involving drama." — Variety
Posted Dec 8, 2008
85% Der Baader Meinhof Komplex (The Baader Meinhof Complex) (2008) " An explosive performance by Johanna Wokalek gives some relief to an otherwise long and humdrum series of characters, blow-'em-ups and prison locations." — Variety
Posted Sep 29, 2008
—— Bahrtalo! () " Pic is refreshingly honest in its warts-and-all portrayal of friendship, though its lack of narrative hooks and genuine comedic sparks will make this a hard sell anywhere." — Variety
Posted Aug 25, 2008
—— R(evolution) () " Portrays the culture of those seeking knowledge in recreational drugs and around bonfires on palm-lined beaches with a seriousness the subject doesn't deserve." — Variety
Posted Aug 25, 2008
—— Bathory (2008) " More of a cinematic curiosity than true blockbuster material, despite its scale." — Variety
Posted Aug 20, 2008
—— Ca$h (Cash) (2008) " Feels more like a cheap hypermarché knock-off with a fancily designed label than the real deal." — european-films.net
Posted Jul 2, 2008
—— Mataharis (2007) " Having three different protagonists is perhaps too much, as Bollain and Rodríguez' screenplay only succeeds in reducing each woman's story to its soap-opera essentials." — european-films.net
Posted Jun 30, 2008
50% Les Animaux amoureux (Animals in Love) (2007) " The documentary Les animaux amoureux (Animals in Love) might seem cute on paper but lacks the rigour of recent documentary hits such as La marche de l'empereur (March of the Penguins) and Earth." — european-films.net
Posted Mar 10, 2008
79% Gruz 200 (Cargo 200) (Freight 200) (2007) " Unflinching would be a gentle word to describe this portrayal of a doomed humanity, but the exact point of the film beyond its doomsday message is never really clear." — european-films.net
Posted Sep 27, 2007
—— The Trap (Klopka) (2007) " Klopka (The Trap) starts off as a fascinating post-Milosevic film noir but ends up somewhere in the land of day-time soap circa 1985." — european-films.net
Posted Sep 24, 2007
73% In the Valley of Elah (2007) " In the Valley of Elah David slew Goliath and Canadian director Paul Haggis tries to slay the US myth on the Good War in Iraq, though David was certainly more successful than Paul." — european-films.net
Posted Sep 2, 2007
90% Michael Clayton (2007) " Legal miracle workers or "fixers" hide simple truths behind a calculated barrage of extraneous smoke and mirrors, which is exactly the tactic screenwriter-turned-director Tony Gilroy employs for his directorial debut Michael Clayton." — european-films.net
Posted Sep 1, 2007
—— A casa nostra (2006) " The intersecting stories are connected by themes of money, power, corruption and the absence of love, though more often than not they play in full-on melodrama mode and are used simply to wring compassion from the audience in the way soap operas do." — european-films.net
Posted Aug 20, 2007
—— Rokonok () " Rokonok feels somewhat dusty around the edges, though it is certainly solid as an adaptation of a 1932 literary work." — european-films.net
Posted Jul 16, 2007
—— In a Dark Place (2007) " In A Dark Place, while certainly competently directed, acted and shot, is too overstuffed with possible explanations to make any sense." — european-films.net
Posted Jul 16, 2007
—— Die Unerzogenen (The Unpolished) (2007) " Bad memories as unfocussed tableaux vivants from a neo-hippy child." — european-films.net
Posted Jul 16, 2007
—— Does It Hurt? (Boli li? Prvata balkanska dogma) () " Watching Boli li? would turn the film into a self-fulfilling prophecy, giving the makers exactly the fame they crave, even if it is only for the film's drawn-out 90 minutes. Do you want to play that game?" — european-films.net
Posted Jul 16, 2007
—— Cover Boy: The Last Revolution () " An intelligent treatment of themes such as hard big city life and the exploitation of the male body is overshadowed by what feels like of a case of Ozpetek interruptus." — european-films.net
Posted Jul 16, 2007
—— Madonnas (2007) " A Madonna-whore variation on the stark dramas that the Dardennes seemed to have a patent on, but Speth is not as accomplished a storytelller as the Belgian siblings." — european-films.net
Posted Jul 16, 2007
—— Je ne suis pas là pour être aimé () " This quintessentially French item mistakes silence for profundity and has a strangely uneven performance by Patrick Chesnais at its centre." — european-films.net
Posted Jul 13, 2007
75% My Best Friend (Mon meilleur ami) (2007) " This is the type of dramatic comedy that often gets labelled as pleasant, which means that it is not laugh-out-loud funny and inoffensively hobbles along to an ending that could have been spotted miles away." — european-films.net
Posted Jul 13, 2007
76% Une Vieille Maîtresse (The Last Mistress) (An Old Mistress) (2007) " French director and provocatrice extraordinaire Catherine Breillat is finally tamed by a partially stilted adaptation of an early 19th century literary classic." — european-films.net
Posted May 25, 2007
—— Gegenüber () " Interesting for its portrayal of a type of domestic violence rarely seen on screen, but offers little else beyond this new angle and two very brave performances." — european-films.net
Posted May 23, 2007
93% Le Scaphandre et le Papillon (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) (2007) " An arresting true story and a ravishing visual creation, but the two remain separate entities that do not support one another but get in each other's way instead." — european-films.net
Posted May 23, 2007
47% My Blueberry Nights (2007) " Could it be that the director feels less certain he gets his message across in a language that is not his? Voice overs from several characters are used to make explicit what should ideally have been inferred from what transpires on screen." — european-films.net
Posted May 19, 2007
44% The Color of Freedom (2007) " Europudding in chocolate sauce." — european-films.net
Posted Apr 11, 2007
70% Eden (2006) " Two touching performances only partially compensate for a weak script that never seems interested in challenging the superb Bella Martha (Mostly Martha)." — european-films.net
Posted Apr 2, 2007
64% My Life Without Me (2003) " A gigantically amoral cliche of a film." — european-films.net
Posted Apr 1, 2007
80% Yella (2008) " Yella comes off as too intellectual an exercise to be thoughtful or serious entertainment." — european-films.net
Posted Mar 21, 2007
60% Poltergay (2006) " Wastes a potentially brilliant premise for a cult classic with pedestrian execution, lame jokes and sequins instead of character development." — european-films.net
Posted Feb 7, 2007
—— The Days of Abandonment (I Giorni Dell'abbandono) () " Margherita Buy gives a performance that lends some sparkle to an otherwise convoluted and unoriginal story." — european-films.net
Posted Feb 7, 2007
27% Chat gim (The Seven Swords) (2007) " Looks gorgeous, but ultimately collapses under its own weight, as if it were a Chinese Kingdom of Heaven." — european-films.net
Posted Jan 18, 2007
81% Azur et Asmar (Azur and Asmar: The Princes' Quest) (2006) " Anyone still in primary school will love the second part, which means adults are in the difficult position of having to decide whether to give Ocelot the benefit of the doubt." — european-films.net
Posted Dec 30, 2006
—— Masz na imie Justine (Your Name Is Justine) (2005) " Though appropriately claustrophobic and technically on its toes, the film suffers from underdeveloped characters." — european-films.net
Posted Nov 6, 2006
82% Days of Glory (Indigenes) (2007) " It is telling when a film's only truly emotional sequence is the one brought about by spectacular CGI explosions and digitally enhanced gunfire." — european-films.net
Posted Oct 20, 2006
—— Nos jours heureux (2007) " The film's cast is spot-on but the film's script and editing take a few too many detours to make the trip really worthwhile." — european-films.net
Posted Sep 20, 2006
—— Untouchable () " Never really touches on anything beyond the physical presence of Isild Le Besco, which is impressive but not barely enough to carry such a slight film." — european-films.net
Posted Sep 17, 2006
72% Golden Door (2007) " Proof of the director's unwillingness to improve on the scattershot ideas and shaky character development that also plagued his previous effort Respiro." — european-films.net
Posted Sep 15, 2006
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