Rotten
| Rotten 2%
| King's Ransom (2005) | "
Apparently New Line has less discretion that Kid Rock with a 10-beer buzz at a monster truck rally.
" Posted Apr 22, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 5%
| Christmas with the Kranks (2004) | "
Christmas with the Kranks takes the icy throne as the king of all bad holidays movies…except Jingle all the Way.
" Posted Nov 23, 2004 |
Rotten
| Rotten 6%
| Thr3e (2007) | "
If you like the idea of a retread, heavy-handed psychological thriller, but you don't like the idea of eating a big juicy steak during Lent, you just might want to try Thr3e on for size." Posted Jan 4, 2007 |
Rotten
| Rotten 6%
| Date Movie (2006) | "
The movie is not a parody or even a spoof. Instead, Date Movie is under the impression that if it mentioned a romantic comedy or uses the same exact joke from a movie, then it's funny." Posted Feb 21, 2006 |
Rotten
| Rotten 7%
| Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj (2006) | "
At times, Taj counsels his lovable losers with Dr. Phil-esque platitudes. Other times, the movie is a booze and sex romp without the jokes or production quality to give the Frat Pack movies a run for their money." Posted Dec 1, 2006 |
Rotten
| Rotten 7%
| Basic Instinct 2 (2006) | "
It doesn't know whether it wants to be a Skin-e-max soft core porno or an episode of a primetime cop drama. It's unfulfilling as neither and ends up as an awful hybrid: we'll call it CSI: Cleavageville. I take that back: CSI: Faux Cleavageville." Posted Mar 31, 2006 |
Rotten
| Rotten 7%
| Cheaper By the Dozen 2 (2005) | "
Watching Steve Martin in Cheaper by the Dozen 2 is like watching Emeril manning the kitchen at Arbys." Posted Dec 21, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 8%
| The Number 23 (2007) | "
It's a 95-minute movie that takes 20 minutes to explain its 'shocking premise.' That's not a good ratio, it's kind of like a stripper agreeing to do a $5 lap dance to 'Bohemian Rhapsody.'" Posted Feb 22, 2007 |
Rotten
| Rotten 8%
| Underclassman (2005) | "
First off, it's never good when Cheech Marin is in a movie and it's not about weed." Posted Sep 2, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 9%
| Bangkok Dangerous (2008) | "
For a man obsessed with The King -- he even married his daughter -- it makes sense that Cage has finally entered the fat Elvis act III of his career. I hope we don't read about him flat-lining on the commode, face down in the "Ghost Rider 3" script." Posted Sep 5, 2008 |
Rotten
| Rotten 9%
| When a Stranger Calls (2006) | "
An open letter to the filmmakers of the worst movie I've ever seen in my life..." Posted Feb 4, 2006 |
Rotten
| Rotten 10%
| Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005) | "
How many other movies can have Big Ear Girl called up in the closing credits?" Posted Aug 12, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 11%
| All The King's Men (2006) | "
At just over two hours - not bad for a semi-fictional bio-epic - All the King's Men still feels bloated. And by the end of the (ego) trip, you know what it's filled with: arrogance." Posted Sep 22, 2006 |
Rotten 1.5/4
| Rotten 12%
| Couples Retreat (2009) | "
With Couple's Retreat, we're hoping for a Wedding Crashers redux we can turn into a date night. But all we get is something else to bitch about." Posted Oct 10, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 12%
| Are We There Yet? (2005) | "
I would love Are We There Yet? if I was a kid--a kid who just got tossed off a pony and run over by an ice cream truck." Posted Jan 24, 2005 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 13%
| The Pink Panther 2 (2009) | "
It woulda been less insulting for Martin to dig up Peter Sellars' corpse, build a bone xylophone out of the skeletal remains, and bang out Henry Mancini's "Pink Panther" theme during the Super Bowl halftime show. Opie & Anthony were right..." Posted Feb 5, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 13%
| Stealth (2005) | "
Just imagine the hilarious genre-spoofing Team America: World Police sans puppets without the jokes..." Posted Aug 20, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 13%
| Boogeyman (2005) | "
The tooth fairy in a tutu is scarier than the ill-conceived Boogeyman." Posted Feb 3, 2005 |
Fresh
| Rotten 14%
| The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) | "
It boasts a few good laughs, a few cool action sequences and a few gratuitous eye candy shots that will have Nick Lachey punching holes in a wall.
" Posted Aug 5, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 14%
| Rebound (2005) | "
Rebound has the casting formula down pat. Fat kid, check. Tom boy, check. Gangly dude, check..." Posted Jul 1, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 14%
| Honeymooners (2005) | "
In one of The Honeymooners' more credible scenes, the New York Mets win the World Series over the Detroit Tigers." Posted Jun 10, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 14%
| Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (2005) | "
It wants to be a buddy cop flick and a chick flick at once, but it fails at both worse than Feds, that marginal '80s fiasco starring Rebecca De Mornay." Posted Mar 24, 2005 |
Fresh 3.5/4
| Rotten 15%
| Year One (2009) | "
Year One is easy to hate, especially if you loathe Jack Black's hammy shtick, think Michael Cera peaked in Arrested Development or you have a worn Bible in your bedroom... and you're not living in a Super 8. But I loved it." Posted Jun 19, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 15%
| Saw V (2008) | "
The Saw franchise cut its teeth with macabre MacGyver gimmicks and buckets of bloodshed. Acting was never a consideration. And when you're racking in millions upon millions with next to no budget, why start vying for Oscars now?" Posted Oct 28, 2008 |
Rotten
| Rotten 15%
| White Chicks (2004) | "
The problem with spoofing two chicks whose 15 minutes are almost up is that no mater how funny it is, once their time is over, so is the movie’s." Posted Oct 6, 2004 |
Rotten
| Rotten 15%
| Without A Paddle (2004) | "
Without a Paddle is two movies -- one good and one bad -- merged together into a cinematic hodgepodge of hilarity, originality, banality and absurdity." Posted Sep 22, 2004 |
Fresh
| Rotten 16%
| Grandma's Boy (2006) | "
You have to give credit to a movie that focuses 90 percent of its energy on video game and ganja jokes. Even if you make the best movie ever, gamers and tokers are perhaps the two least motivated groups to get out and see a movie." Posted Jan 7, 2006 |
Rotten
| Rotten 16%
| Monster-in-Law (2005) | "
J. Lo and Fonda are Booty and the Beast..." Posted May 12, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 16%
| XXX: State of the Union (2005) | "
In the words of comic Lewis Black, "Don't think about it for more than two seconds, or you'll have an aneurysm and your head will explode!"
" Posted Apr 28, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 16%
| Raise Your Voice (2004) | "
The vocal stylings of Duff are particularly laughable...It's artificial, it's bad, it's a falsetto Max Headroom.
" Posted Oct 7, 2004 |
Rotten
| Rotten 17%
| Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2005) | "
Get Rich or Die Trying made me feel like an ambitious yet arthritic sheep – stuck firmly on the fence despite my best efforts to get off on either side." Posted Nov 9, 2005 |
Fresh
| Rotten 18%
| Domino (2005) | "
It's a train wreck. It's a mess of frenetic editing topped off by an over-the-top ending in which you expect Die Hard's John McClane to make a cameo. But I loved it.
" Posted Oct 14, 2005 |
Rotten 0/4
| Rotten 19%
| Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) | "
I'd rather listen to Mr. Roboto on a loop for 150 minutes than watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen again." Posted Jun 25, 2009 |
Rotten 0/4
| Rotten 19%
| Obsessed (2009) | "
I hope Jay-Z doesn't add me to his hit list for saying this, right below Chris Brown, but his wife can't act worth a damn when she doesn't get to sing." Posted Apr 27, 2009 |
N/A | Rotten 19%
| The Hitcher (2007) | "
VCU alumnus Zachary Knighton jumps from Richmond stage regular to star of the major motion picture, The Hitcher. We talked with Knighton about fame, failure and the ride."
INTERVIEW Posted Jan 18, 2007 |
Rotten
| Rotten 19%
| Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl in 3-D (2005) | "
It's like a poor man's Neverending Story or an after-school special with an identity crisis.
" Posted Jun 11, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 19%
| After the Sunset (2004) | "
Most of After the Sunset runs like a bureau of tourism commercial for the Bahamas, even though much of the flick is filmed near Malibu. Go figure." Posted Nov 12, 2004 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 20%
| Amelia (2009) | "
The characters look and sound more like animatronic figures at the Air & Space Museum than real-life history makers. Every sanitized, faux-jolly line of script is spoken like it's from a decades-old toothpaste commercial." Posted Oct 24, 2009 |
Fresh
| Rotten 20%
| Rush Hour 3 (2007) | "
Despite its derivative desperation and a ridiculous chain of serendipitous turns that are necessary to stuff a globe-trotting action flick into less than two hours, Ratner and company show they can grill an easy-watching summer blockbuster." Posted Aug 10, 2007 |
N/A | Rotten 20%
| Shadowboxer (2006) | "
He's made indie hits with Halle Berry, Kevin Bacon and maybe soon, Mariah Carey. We talk to Monster's Ball Producer Lee Daniels as his directorial debut, Shadowboxer, opens"
INTERVIEW Posted Jul 21, 2006 |
Fresh
| Rotten 20%
| Shadowboxer (2006) | "
At worst, Lee Daniels is a poor man's Quentin Tarantino, both literally and figuratively. And that's not a bad thing; just ask Guy Ritchie." Posted Jul 21, 2006 |
Rotten
| Rotten 20%
| The Ring Two (2005) | "
While the original kept you awake all night as you left the lights on and spooned your plush Pound Puppy–the sequel induces a sound slumber in seconds." Posted Mar 21, 2005 |
Rotten
| Rotten 21%
| Man of the Year (2006) | "
In 1938, Adolph Hitler was chosen as Time's Man of the Year. Somewhere, there's a witty sequeway about this fact and just how awful Robin Williams' movie sharing the same "accolade" is." Posted Oct 13, 2006 |
Rotten
| Rotten 21%
| You, Me and Dupree (2006) | "
In a year that already underwhelmed us with Failure to Launch, it's a lot to ask audiences to take in another raunchy comedy highlighting the slacker lifestyle. (If we want to watch a truly skilled underachiever, we'll watch Lebowski again)" Posted Jul 16, 2006 |
Rotten
| Rotten 21%
| The Pacifier (2005) | "
Diesel isn't a terrible actor, but his choice of projects is about as apt as his choice of stage names. What, were Mack O'Kerosene and Buck Unleaded already taken?
" Posted Mar 4, 2005 |
Fresh
| Rotten 21%
| Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) | "
What the hell happened? I hadn't been more certain of a trainwreck since I heard Tony Danza was coming out with a new talk show..." Posted Sep 17, 2004 |
Fresh
| Rotten 22%
| The Quiet (2006) | "
From pill popping to promiscuity to bloodlust and incest, The Quiet is not a happy, family film, unless your family is the Osbournes." Posted Sep 1, 2006 |
Rotten
| Rotten 22%
| Barnyard: The Original Party Animals (2006) | "
Pigs get drunk. Cows steal cars. Find out why Barnyard: The Original Party Animals is a funny flick grazing in the wrong pasture." Posted Aug 10, 2006 |
Rotten
| Rotten 22%
| Alien vs. Predator (2004) | "
The only thing 'AVP' accomplishes by going for a PG-13 rating is that it can bore little kids too." Posted Sep 22, 2004 |
Rotten
| Rotten 23%
| Balls of Fury (2007) | "
Imagine if Chris Farley had been a Gremlin ... the good, cute gremlin. Fogler would be what happened after you poured water on him and fed him KFC after midnight." Posted Aug 31, 2007 |
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