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Critics / Jan Stuart / Worst
Jan Stuart

    JAN STUART

    Agrees with the Tomatometer 75% of the time.

    Publications: Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, Newsday, Screen International, Washington Post

    Critics' Group: New York Film Critics Circle

    Total Reviews: 841

    WORST REVIEWED FILMS

    • All
    • Movies
    • Best
    • Worst
    • Unquoted
    # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
    Results for All Genres
    Showing 1 - 0 of 35
    Previous | Next
    Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date (default)

    Rotten
    0/4

    Rotten
    8%

    I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

    " I Know Who Killed Me, ostensibly a horror thriller in the slice-and-dice vein of Captivity and Saw, bagged as many laughs in its bloodbath finale as anything in The Simpsons Movie." — Newsday

    Posted Jul 27, 2007

    Rotten
    0/4

    Rotten
    8%

    The Number 23 (2007)

    " The 23rd letter of the alphabet is W, without which there would be no waffles, Wal-Mart and, that final word on all things tiresome and pretentious: whatever." — Newsday

    Posted Feb 22, 2007

    Rotten
    0/4

    Rotten
    10%

    Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)

    " It would be best appreciated by (a) children of blind, castrated, hearing-impaired Hollywood executives suffering from Tourette's syndrome and arrested development, (b) comic actor-writers who look like Richard Simmons." — Newsday

    Posted Aug 11, 2005

    Rotten
    0/4

    Rotten
    21%

    Adored - Diary of a Porn Star (2004)

    " There is little for an American audience to adore about the film's star- writer-director Marco Filiberti, a breathtakingly self-idolatrous artist who makes Roberto Benigni look like an avatar of humility." — Newsday

    Posted May 28, 2004

    Rotten
    0/4

    Rotten
    8%

    Kangaroo Jack (2003)

    " [O'Connell and Anderson] are mere pawns in the larcenous career of Jerry Bruckheimer, who will carry on making a plethora of movies that are anathema to anyone with half a brain." — Newsday

    Posted Jan 17, 2003

    Rotten
    0/4

    Rotten
    2%

    The Master of Disguise (2002)

    " A calamitous attempt at reviving the anarchic, little-kid spirit of Jerry Lewis." — Newsday

    Posted Aug 2, 2002

    Rotten
    .5/4

    Rotten
    38%

    Flightplan (2005)

    " [Flightplan stays on] a course mapped out by so many celluloid disappearing acts that pale in the long shadow of Hitchcock's The Lady Vanishes." — Newsday

    Posted Sep 22, 2005

    Rotten
    .5/4

    Fresh
    83%

    The Memory of a Killer (2005)

    " Essentially an above-par television crime thriller." — Newsday

    Posted Aug 25, 2005

    Rotten
    .5/4

    Rotten
    31%

    The Baxter (2005)

    " The Baxter is more than a little out of step in a summer peppered with crude or idiosyncratic wallflower romantics." — Newsday

    Posted Aug 25, 2005

    Rotten
    0.5/4

    Rotten
    52%

    The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004)

    " Launches with enormous promise, then sinks into a quagmire of misfired humor and misbegotten characters." — Newsday

    Posted Dec 9, 2004

    Rotten
    .5/4

    Rotten
    34%

    What a Girl Wants (2003)

    " An execrable and witless nonstarter that makes a potent case for hanging the Cinderella myth out to dry till the end of time." — Newsday

    Posted Apr 4, 2003

    Rotten
    .5/4

    Rotten
    0%

    Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)

    " If you collected all the moments of coherent dialogue, they still wouldn't add up to the time required to boil a four- minute egg." — Newsday

    Posted Sep 19, 2002

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    9%

    10,000 B.C. (2008)

    " An epic adventure of such towering testosterone counts and ceaseless tedium, you can almost feel the hair growing on your chest as the bags collect beneath your eyes." — Newsday

    Posted Mar 6, 2008

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    38%

    August Rush (2007)

    " The kind of fairy tale that makes Cinderella look like kitchen-sink realism." — Newsday

    Posted Nov 20, 2007

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    27%

    Love in the Time of Cholera (2007)

    " Love in the Time of Cholera suffers from a serious case of Big Movie-itis." — Newsday

    Posted Nov 15, 2007

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    52%

    Romance & Cigarettes (2007)

    " It's karaoke with a vengeance, the circle of the inferno that Dante could never in his wildest imaginings anticipate." — Newsday

    Posted Sep 6, 2007

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    1%

    Daddy Day Camp (2007)

    " As one might anticipate with a comedy about children and the outdoors, a lot of screen time is devoted to bodily noises and throwing up." — Newsday

    Posted Aug 8, 2007

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    11%

    Blood and Chocolate (2007)

    " The preview audience watched most of this in stony silence, broken only by the contented sound of critics scratching bad dialogue in their notepads." — Newsday

    Posted Jan 30, 2007

    Rotten
    1/4

    Fresh
    64%

    Apocalypto (2006)

    " Any claims of cinematic prowess or social-political consequence, however, are obliterated by the pornographic relish Gibson seems to take in wowing us with his inventory of tortures and outrages." — Newsday

    Posted Dec 7, 2006

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    21%

    Employee of the Month (2006)

    " I never thought I would have a kind word to say about Wal-Mart, but it deserves better." — Newsday

    Posted Oct 5, 2006

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    33%

    Poseidon (2006)

    " Poseidon is a great leveler of humanity: It renders everyone in the picture eminently disposable and everyone in the audience equally bankrupt for bearing witness." — Newsday

    Posted May 11, 2006

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    37%

    Scary Movie 4 (2006)

    " Isn't it amazing to see just how low some people will stoop if you pay them just enough money?" — Newsday

    Posted Apr 13, 2006

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    27%

    What the Bleep!? Down the Rabbit Hole (2006)

    " It's like falling through the looking glass and finding yourself in the New-Age weekend retreat of your worst nightmares." — Newsday

    Posted Feb 2, 2006

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    8%

    Undiscovered (2005)

    " Here, unplugged, unremorseful and unfathomably bad, is Undiscovered, a 'romantic comedy with a big heart' (that's publicity-speak) and a very small brain." — Newsday

    Posted Aug 25, 2005

    Rotten
    1/4

    Fresh
    70%

    My Date With Drew (2005)

    " Watching My Date With Drew is like being party to the slow, poisoning death of the documentary." — Newsday

    Posted Aug 4, 2005

    Rotten
    1/4

    Fresh
    84%

    2046 (2005)

    " The editors of Mad Magazine could have had a ball satirizing Wong Kar Wai's gaseous cavalcade of pretentiousness, 2046, if the filmmaker hadn't gotten there first." — Newsday

    Posted Aug 4, 2005

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    23%

    In My Country (2005)

    " There is no historical moment so epochal that it cannot be reduced to schlock entertainment in the right hands." — Newsday

    Posted Mar 10, 2005

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    41%

    Marebito (2004)

    " Marebito, a piece of soft-core trash disguised as pop art from director Takashi Shimizu, marks a new low in the genre." — Newsday

    Posted Dec 8, 2005

    Fresh
    1/4

    Fresh
    80%

    Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood of War (2004)

    " Alternately brutal and schlocky, and occasionally both at the same time." — Newsday

    Posted Sep 3, 2004

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    12%

    Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (2004)

    " A nonsuspenseful and painfully unfunny series of comic stunts that try to have sport with the image of the garrulous American abroad." — Newsday

    Posted Mar 11, 2004

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    11%

    Alex and Emma (2003)

    " Alex & Emma is an amalgam of cliches about writers and burlesque stereotypes of foreigners." — Newsday

    Posted Jun 19, 2003

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    34%

    Poolhall Junkies (2003)

    " 90 minutes of slow-leaking, macho stomach gas, in which everyone talks like they were on brawny pills and every tawdry song on the soundtrack makes you feel as if you were trapped in a lap dance club." — Newsday

    Posted Feb 28, 2003

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    2%

    Half Past Dead (2002)

    " Ear-splitting exercise in formula crash-and-bash action." — Newsday

    Posted Nov 15, 2002

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    13%

    The Rising Place (2002)

    " It is one more celluloid testimonial to the cruelties experienced by Southern blacks as distilled through a Caucasian perspective." — Newsday

    Posted Nov 8, 2002

    Rotten
    1/4

    Rotten
    41%

    A Night at the Golden Eagle (2002)

    " Another in-your-face wallow in the lower depths made by people who have never sung those blues." — Newsday

    Posted Apr 26, 2002
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