ROTTEN TOMATOES: Brian Juergens

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BRIAN JUERGENS

Agrees with the Tomatometer 73% of the time.

Biography: A critic for horror site Bloody-Disgusting.com, general film site Freezedriedmovies.com, gay horror site Campblood.org, and columnist for women's horror site Pretty-scary.net, Brian has his hands in all sorts of pies, most of them bloody. A filmmaker, writer, and mediaphile, Brian loves films of all sorts, unless they're bad. He lives in NYC.

Publications: AfterElton.com, Bloody Disgusting, CampBlood.org, Freeze Dried Movies

Critics' Group: Online Film Critics Society

Total Reviews: 178
Total QuickRatings: 24

Location: New York City

LISTING OF ALL REVIEWS & ARTICLES

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Showing 1 - 50 of 178

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Rating	T-Meter	Title \| Year	Add Date (default)

Rotten 2/10	Rotten 18%	The Fourth Kind (2009)	" *In short, The Fourth Kind* pisses on your leg, tells you it's raining, and then tries to sell you a raincoat made of dog hair and corn chips.*" — CampBlood.org* Posted Nov 5, 2009
Fresh 8/10	Fresh 88%	The House of the Devil (2009)	" This pitch-perfect genre throwback would be right at home among the creaky and weird supernatural thrillers of the 70's and 80's. (And yes, I mean that as a compliment.)" — CampBlood.org Posted Oct 15, 2009
Fresh 6/10	Fresh 83%	Paranormal Activity (2009)	" It's worth checking out, but just barely. I'm sorry to say that the scariest thing about this film is the couple's godawful taste in home furnishings." — CampBlood.org Posted Oct 13, 2009
Rotten 2/10	Rotten 12%	Couples Retreat (2009)	" If battering an audience in the face with Jon Favreau's waxed bosoms for 102 minutes now qualifies as comedy, I never want to laugh again." — CampBlood.org Posted Oct 9, 2009
Fresh 9/10	Fresh 86%	Trick 'r Treat (2009)	" Feels not just like a series of stories set on Halloween, but a blood-spattered portrait of what makes this holiday so beloved, so dangerous, and so much damn fun." — CampBlood.org Posted Oct 6, 2009
Fresh 8/10	Fresh 89%	Zombieland (2009)	" *While not a true zom-com classic like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland* is just as much breezy, brainless fun as one of the rollercoasters that mark its horizon.*" — CampBlood.org* Posted Oct 2, 2009
Rotten 5/10	Rotten 56%	The Invention of Lying (2009)	" Here's a philosophical question worth pondering: If only half of the movie is a bad rom-com, is it half-empty or half-full?" — CampBlood.org Posted Oct 1, 2009
Fresh 6/10	Fresh 76%	Afterschool (2009)	" Deserves credit for managing to make prep school seem like the most hellish place on the planet, but is at some points hard to watch for all the wrong reasons." — CampBlood.org Posted Sep 30, 2009
Rotten 5/10	Rotten 45%	Jennifer's Body (2009)	" *Though it clearly admires %u2013 even borrows from %u2013 such solid girl-power smackdowns as Ginger Snaps* and Heathers, Body fails to capture much of their bite.*" — CampBlood.org* Posted Sep 21, 2009
Fresh 7/10	Rotten 23%	Sorority Row (2009)	" *A movie that starts with a trampoline pillow-fight and ends with a pile of dead co-eds could have been a misogynistic mess, but Sorority Row* is a snappy, bloody blast.*" — CampBlood.org* Posted Sep 17, 2009
Fresh 7/10	Fresh 72%	I Sell the Dead (2009)	" This one put a smile on my face in a way that few zombies movie have since they reanimated Mae West** for Sextette.*" — CampBlood.org* Posted Sep 14, 2009
Rotten 0/10	Rotten 21%	Halloween II (2009)	" When Zombie kills a cow with an ambulance in the opening scene the cow dies quietly and doesn't then have to sit through the rest of the movie. And they say he shows no mercy!" — CampBlood.org Posted Sep 9, 2009
Fresh 6/10	Rotten 56%	9 (2009)	" While it brings the unique and striking vision of Acker to the table, in the end it's not much more than playing with dolls." — CampBlood.org Posted Sep 8, 2009
Fresh 6/10	Rotten 49%	Taking Woodstock (2009)	" *Like its central character, Woodstock* never makes it to the big show. But the lesson seems to be that it's not the destination that matters, it's the trip.*" — CampBlood.org* Posted Aug 27, 2009
Fresh 8/10	Fresh 100%	Rogue (2008)	" *Rock out with your croc out: A lean, mean and wonderfully fun little fright flick in the tradition of Jaws 2, Orca* and Deep Blue Sea.*" — CampBlood.org* Posted Aug 23, 2009
Fresh 10/10	Fresh 90%	District 9 (2009)	" *Like all great science fiction, District 9* entertains mercilessly even as it challenges us to be better people. Original, urgent and not to be missed.*" — CampBlood.org* Posted Aug 15, 2009
Rotten 4/10	Rotten 33%	Horsemen (2009)	" *The scenes of Quaid interrogating Zhang boast the hottest 'Outlet Mall Silence of the Lambs* Acting' we're likely to see this year.*" — CampBlood.org* Posted Aug 11, 2009
Rotten 4/10	Rotten 58%	A Perfect Getaway (2009)	" *Prides itself on a clever twist and a few great red herrings. You know how I know? Because it actually tells us. Literally. As in, in the dialogue." — CampBlood.org* Posted Aug 5, 2009
Fresh 8/10	Rotten 55%	Orphan (2009)	" *Balancing well-rendered melodrama with some impressively ballsy genre moves, Orphan* is more enjoyable trash than it should be. Call it John and Kate Plus Hate.*" — CampBlood.org* Posted Jul 30, 2009
Fresh 8/10	Fresh 83%	Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)	" An impressive and troubling work, boasting a dark and nightmarish undertow that many more "adult" or "legitimate" films attempt but fail to achieve." — CampBlood.org Posted Jul 14, 2009
Fresh 7/10	Rotten 41%	The Last House on the Left (2009)	" Given my particular distaste for both remakes and rape-revenge movies, I was as surprised as anyone to find that this is a better horror movie than it probably should be." — CampBlood.org Posted Jun 19, 2009
Rotten 4/10	Rotten 25%	Friday the 13th (2009)	" *A boring retread that downgrades one of our great masked men to being a hillbilly with mommy issues and no sense for decorating. And if I wanted that, I'd rent Nell." — CampBlood.org* Posted Jun 19, 2009
Fresh 9/10	Fresh 92%	Drag Me To Hell (2009)	" A gooey, frenetic, raucous and mind-meltingly clever delight. This fabulously compact little morality tale is the most fun you'll ever have analyzing our economic collapse." — CampBlood.org Posted Jun 19, 2009
Fresh 7/10	Rotten 25%	Land of the Lost (2009)	" An aggressively weird, suitably uneven and decidedly un-kid-friendly keg-stand of nostalgia for those unable to scrub the fever-dream of a series from their memories." — AfterElton.com Posted Jun 4, 2009
Rotten 5/10	Rotten 24%	Little Ashes (2009)	" Likely has an audience out there, but I'm not it, nor are most of the people who will be checking it out for its much-hyped casting of Pattinson as a gay-experimenting Dal�." — AfterElton.com Posted May 8, 2009
Fresh 7/10	Fresh 76%	Outrage (2009)	" A well-documented cautionary tale that should spark broader discussion of the integrity of those making our laws, and the larger implications of living a closeted life." — AfterElton.com Posted May 7, 2009
Fresh 6/10	N/A	Pedro (2009)	" *Lacks the polish, star power or distinct voice of brother-in-arms Milk, but pays earnest tribute to a man who shattered preconceptions about gays and people with AIDS." — AfterElton.com* Posted Mar 31, 2009
Fresh 7/10	Fresh 82%	I Love You, Man (2009)	" *Butch and Sundance ended their* hetero romance in a shower of bullets, but here it's something to celebrate - a straight love story that doesn't leave anyone out in the cold.*" — AfterElton.com* Posted Mar 19, 2009
Fresh 8/10	Fresh 93%	Milk (2008)	" *Equal parts sweetness, melancholy and rage, Milk* is a wonderfully immersive, warts-and-all journey into the gay community at a vital moment in civil rights history.*" — AfterElton.com* Posted Nov 25, 2008
Fresh 9/10	Fresh 100%	The Boys in the Band (1970)	" Unapologetic, ambitious, wonderfully vibrant, and more than deserving of a second chance from those who found it to be an unfair look at the lives of gay men in the 1960s." — AfterElton.com DVD REVIEW Posted Nov 11, 2008
Fresh 7/10	Fresh 62%	Cthulhu (2008)	" An assured, creepy effort that skillfully integrates gay themes and characters into a straight-up horror story." — AfterElton.com Posted Oct 30, 2008
Fresh 7/10	Fresh 72%	Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (2008)	" A charming tour through a wonderfully authentic New York City landscape that takes full advantage of the magic that the city offers to everyone, regardless of sexuality." — AfterElton.com Posted Oct 3, 2008
Fresh 7/10	Fresh 63%	Hamlet 2 (2008)	" *If you're not offended easily and like good camp you'll love Hamlet 2, a joke-a minute lampoon of tortured artists with a finale that shouldn't be missed." — AfterElton.com* Posted Aug 20, 2008
Fresh 7/10	Fresh 82%	Tropic Thunder (2008)	" A very funny Hollywood story with a gay character who doesn't mince or terrify the straight characters and comes out without being punished. If only this weren't a satire." — AfterElton.com Posted Aug 12, 2008
Fresh 8/10	Fresh 64%	Brideshead Revisited (2008)	" Themes of religious oppression, particularly of gay people, are especially pointed and unfortunately still relevant enough today to sting." — AfterElton.com Posted Jul 31, 2008
Fresh 10/10	Fresh 94%	The Dark Knight (2008)	" From its grim palette to its wonderfully eerie score, a departure from what Hollywood has always told us a superhero film should be ... Complex, unsettling, and rewarding." — AfterElton.com Posted Jul 16, 2008
Fresh 8/10	Rotten 53%	Mamma Mia! (2008)	" Even were it not the title of one of ABBA's most beloved songs, this might just be the most aptly-titled movie of the year.Because my Mom is gonna loooooooove it." — AfterElton.com Posted Jul 15, 2008
Rotten 5/10	Rotten 33%	Kiss the Bride (2008)	" Plot contrivances and erratic character choices reduce would could have been a frothy comedy into a confused, unsatisfying jumble that no amount of beefcake can rescue." — AfterElton.com Posted Apr 18, 2008
Rotten 5/10	Fresh 63%	Love Songs (2008)	" I don't know that achieving this kind of sexual freedom would be worth having to live around all these exhaustingly precocious people." — AfterElton.com Posted Apr 3, 2008
Fresh 7/10	Rotten 56%	Shelter (2008)	" Shelter gives hope that gay romances have come of age." — AfterElton.com Posted Apr 3, 2008
Fresh 6/10	Rotten 50%	Dirty Laundry (2007)	" Is it sidesplitting? No, but it's cute. Is it wonderfully wicked? No, but it's got a few twists and turns. Is it a classic? Probably not, but it's an encouraging move into a new kind of gay film and a story not often told." — AfterElton.com Posted Jan 22, 2008
Fresh 8/10	Fresh 67%	The Nines (2007)	" *When I read that Ryan Reynolds was playing not one, but three* characters in this movie -- one of whom is gay -- my ticket pretty much bought itself. They had me at 'himbo'.*" — AfterElton.com* Posted Jan 22, 2008
Fresh 7/10	Fresh 82%	Teeth (2008)	" Much like Dawn's ill-fated gyno visit, a peek beneath the folds of this clever and surprisingly amusing little horror comedy holds a few surprises for curious gay viewers." — AfterElton.com Posted Jan 22, 2008
Rotten 5/10	Rotten 56%	Cruising (1980)	" Is it offensive? Yes and no. It's insensitive, certainly. And I wouldn't want my mother watching it, lest she think I've been in a sling in the meatpacking district for most of my adult life." — AfterElton.com Posted Sep 18, 2007
Fresh 8/10	Fresh 89%	Eastern Promises (2007)	" Brutal, but not cruel." — AfterElton.com Posted Sep 12, 2007
Fresh 9/10	Fresh 90%	Knocked Up (2007)	" A film that manages to be uncommonly thoughtful and sensitive to the complexity of its very faulted characters while still being relentlessly, brilliantly funny." — AfterElton.com Posted May 31, 2007
Fresh 6/10	Fresh 69%	Blades of Glory (2007)	" One of the most keenly perceptive comedies ever made about straight male bonding, fear of intimacy, and masculinity. Not to mention figure skating." — AfterElton.com Posted Mar 29, 2007
Fresh 6/10	Fresh 60%	300 (2007)	" Like a Hong Kong 'pistol opera' only without any pistols, or shirts. I guess it's more of a 'nipple opera'." — Freeze Dried Movies Posted Mar 9, 2007
Fresh 7/10	Fresh 84%	Breach (2007)	" A compelling character study of a man whose ego took down his career, and very nearly much more." — Freeze Dried Movies Posted Feb 21, 2007
Fresh 6/10	Fresh 62%	Music and Lyrics (2007)	" The cinematic equivalent of a drugstore-bought Whitman's Sampler: it's overly sweet, of questionable quality, and you appreciate it more in theory than in practice" — Freeze Dried Movies Posted Feb 14, 2007

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10/10	Cinderella ManOffsite
5/5	A History of ViolenceOffsite
9/10	Brokeback MountainOffsite
4/5	Shaun of the DeadOffsite
8/10	The InterpreterOffsite
7/10	Tropic ThunderOffsite
3/5	SpanglishOffsite
6/10	TroyOffsite
5/10	The VillageOffsite
4/10	One Missed CallOffsite
3/10	Resident Evil: ApocalypseOffsite
2/10	The Dukes of HazzardOffsite
1/10	You, Me and DupreeOffsite
0/10	Dominion: Prequel to the ExorcistOffsite

10/10	District 9Offsite
10/10	The Dark KnightOffsite
5/5	A History of ViolenceOffsite
10/10	Cinderella ManOffsite
9/10	Trick 'r TreatOffsite
9/10	Drag Me To HellOffsite
9/10	Knocked UpOffsite
9/10	The DepartedOffsite
9/10	Little Miss SunshineOffsite
9/10	The DescentOffsite

0/10	Halloween IIOffsite
0/10	ChaosOffsite
0/10	Dominion: Prequel to the ExorcistOffsite
1/10	You, Me and DupreeOffsite
2/10	The Fourth KindOffsite
2/10	Couples RetreatOffsite
2/10	Because I Said SoOffsite
2/10	Man of the YearOffsite
2/10	The OmenOffsite
2/10	The Dukes of HazzardOffsite

BRIAN JUERGENS

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