|
0/4
|
34%
|
Resident Evil (2002) |
"
So bad it can't even steal effectively from good movies that came before."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Dec 18, 2004
|
|
0/4
|
17%
|
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - The Next Generation (The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre) (1994) |
"
Its wretchedness is so complete it can't help but attract bad-movie addicts the way a dead skunk draws flies."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
0.5/4
|
9%
|
Darkness Falls (2003) |
"
The kind of movie that gives horror a bad name."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Jan 31, 2003
|
|
.5/4
|
18%
|
National Lampoon's Van Wilder (Party Liaison) (2002) |
"
Writers Brent Goldberg and David Wagner apparently saw no reason to bother with anything so sophisticated as, say, story or characters."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
.5/4
|
61%
|
American Pie (1999) |
"
Cheap, soft-core porn masquerading as comedy."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
.5/4
|
58%
|
Another Day In Paradise (1997) |
"
I never walk out in the middle of a film, but with Another Day in Paradise, I came pretty darn close."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
0.5/4
|
15%
|
Idle Hands (1999) |
"
The attempts to extract comedy from this grim raw material are leaden, blood-soaked disasters."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
39%
|
Anaconda (1997) |
"
A morass of cliches, contradictions and clumsy attempts at suspense."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
|
63%
|
The Powerpuff Girls - The Movie (2002) |
"
The movie is just not fun enough."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Jun 20, 2003
|
|
1/4
|
26%
|
Swordfish (2001) |
"
It calls itself a 'thriller,' apparently because it is loaded with pointless machinations that pile up into a tortured wreck of narrative desperation."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Feb 7, 2003
|
|
1/4
|
21%
|
The Hot Chick (2002) |
"
Jam-packed with literally bruising jokes. Every five minutes or so, someone gets clocked."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Dec 13, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
12%
|
Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights (2002) |
"
Every bit as violent, profane, mean-spirited and artificially sentimental as any live-action Adam Sandler movie."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Nov 29, 2002
|
|
|
77%
|
Eyes Wide Shut (1999) |
"
What ends up on screen is sumptuous, portentous, slow-moving and pointless."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
12%
|
Dear God (1996) |
"
The movie is as well-intentioned as a Christmas card, but as a work of narrative art, it's a train wreck."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
19%
|
Lara Croft - Tomb Raider (2001) |
"
Loud, tedious, boring and self-important, this movie offers nothing fresh, original or surprising."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
|
79%
|
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) |
"
Falls short of the high standards set by the opening chapters."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
38%
|
40 Days and 40 Nights (2002) |
"
Mean-spirited, ugly little movie."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
29%
|
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001) |
"
A lot of talent was squandered on this incoherent grab bag of war-movie moments."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
43%
|
The Rules of Attraction (2002) |
"
The Rules of Attraction doesn't engage, or entertain or provoke. It assaults."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
|
59%
|
She's the One (1996) |
"
Although the characters are mostly attractive, and some funny things happen between them, most of the movie is given over to scenes of one character complaining to a second character about a third who is not present."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
|
31%
|
Good Burger (1997) |
"
Any energetic junior high class could have written a smarter script than the one Dan Schneider, Kevin Kopelow and Heath Seifert provide."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
45%
|
Holy Smoke! (2000) |
"
[A] blithering mess of a story."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
18%
|
Collateral Damage (2002) |
"
In a world where the cost of real violence and the sacrifices of real heroes are inescapable reality, there is no connection to be made with the empty, ersatz heroics of a movie like this."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
0%
|
The Shadow Conspiracy (1997) |
"
The whole thing is so vague and preposterous and paranoid that it almost goes without saying that Donald Sutherland plays a key role."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
|
55%
|
Con Air (1997) |
"
The stunts and explosions are amazing, of course, but escalate to overwrought chaos by the end."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
52%
|
American Pie 2 (2001) |
"
There is a bright side. None of us will live long enough to hear a future historian say, 'And that's how a civilization was doomed by a warm apple pie.'"
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
|
73%
|
Sleepers (1996) |
"
Drama needs conflict, and Sleepers, at the critical juncture, doesn't deliver any."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
45%
|
Peter Pan in Return to Never Land (2002) |
"
Has all the hallmarks of a movie designed strictly for children's home video, a market so insatiable it absorbs all manner of lame entertainment, as long as 3-year-olds find it diverting."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
10%
|
Slackers (2002) |
"
There is so much wrong with Slackers, it may be more efficient simply to point out the one acceptable ingredient: Jason Schwartzman."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
22%
|
Little Nicky (2000) |
"
Nothing in this ambitious, effects-laden spectacle about family values in hell made me laugh. Not once."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
36%
|
Scream 3 (2000) |
"
Just a blur of blood and guts -- exactly the type of dreary mayhem that Scream was born to demolish."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
|
8%
|
Bulletproof (1996) |
"
Midnight Run did it best; 48 hours runs a fair second. Bulletproof finishes way back in the pack."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
9%
|
Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000) |
"
By the time the facts are finally revealed, you just won't care."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
72%
|
Le Pacte des loups (Brotherhood of the Wolf) (2001) |
"
If The Brotherhood of the Wolf has a reason for being, it may be only to prove that the French can make movies as silly, blood-soaked and overblown as the Americans."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
2%
|
Speed 2 - Cruise Control (1997) |
"
It's painful to see Mr. Dafoe, an excellent actor, reduced to a snarling mad dog who treats his fatal disease -- copper poisoning? -- with leeches and spouts lines like ''Now you're gonna get it!''"
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
36%
|
In Too Deep (1999) |
"
So uneven it's downright schizophrenic."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
39%
|
Hannibal (2001) |
"
For all its blockbuster build-up, beneath the glitter Hannibal is just a big old barfbag full of stupid, steaming Hollywood spew."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
12%
|
Holy Man (1998) |
"
Oh brother, what a preposterous package it uses to deliver its warm and fuzzy message about What Really Matters."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
76%
|
The Virgin Suicides (2000) |
"
In the end, the strengths of the movie are overwhelmed by what is pretentious, unplugged and boring to boot."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
23%
|
See Spot Run (2001) |
"
A messy, though mostly amiable, comedy that can't quite decide who it wants to entertain."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
10%
|
Juwanna Mann (2002) |
"
It's hard to know what to make of a film such as this, with its implicit message that it takes men to empower women in sports."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
51%
|
Mars Attacks! (1996) |
"
It's got attitude, goodness knows; it has stars by the fistful; and it certainly was made with technical skill. What it doesn't have is enough of a story to fill an hour and 46 minutes."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
38%
|
Full Frontal (2002) |
"
The story is so unmoored and the characters so ill-defined that the overall effect is vacuous."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
12%
|
Sphere (1998) |
"
You can't accuse the makers of Sphere of skimping on talent. If only they knew what to do with it."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
64%
|
Bring It On (2000) |
"
Not ''about'' anything, unless you count obsessive shots of nubile, scantily clad bodies in motion."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
13%
|
Hush (1998) |
"
A mystery without surprises, a thriller without thrills. It's too bad, really, because the movie has a few strong points."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
22%
|
8MM (1999) |
"
I could not get past the pathology lurking just below the skin of this story -- its false morality, its prurient absorption in sexual violence, its sadistic glee over the hero's degradation."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
C+
|
38%
|
Beauty Shop (2005) |
—
Journal News (Westchester, NY)
Posted Apr 9, 2005
|
|
2/4
|
23%
|
The General's Daughter (1999) |
"
You know that thin line between disturbing and morbid? The General's Daughter tramples it into dust."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
|
2/4
|
20%
|
Monkeybone (2001) |
"
Nice bid all around, kids. Too bad it doesn't quite work."
—
Cincinnati Enquirer
Posted Oct 15, 2002
|
63%
——
97%
