|
.5/5
|
0%
|
Super Capers (2009) |
"
Intended as a campy riff on comic-book antics, Super Capers is instead a monumental negative achievement: a super catastrophe."
—
New York Times
Posted Mar 20, 2009
|
|
.5/5
|
2%
|
Disaster Movie (2008) |
"
Disaster Movie, the latest disposable parody of disposable Hollywood movies, has a shelf life of about five minutes, tops."
—
New York Times
Posted Sep 2, 2008
|
|
.5/5
|
22%
|
Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild! (2008) |
"
This wretched gaysploitation number is, in fact, the worst gay sequel ever."
—
New York Times
Posted Aug 29, 2008
|
|
0.5/5
|
12%
|
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) |
"
This prequel to a remake of the 1974 horror movie begs the question: how many chainsaw massacres can one state possibly contain?"
—
New York Times
Posted Oct 5, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
56%
|
New World Order (2009) |
"
An unrelentingly tedious documentary."
—
New York Times
Posted May 22, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
8%
|
New York City Serenade (2007) |
"
The movie is a character study about two underachieving dullards scarcely worth contemplating."
—
New York Times
Posted Mar 6, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
25%
|
Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009) |
"
Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience isn't a movie so much as a devotional object, a kind of secular fetish designed to induce rapture."
—
New York Times
Posted Feb 27, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
33%
|
Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009) |
"
Directed by Steve Carr, a man who knows how to put a camera in front of things, if little else, and written, sort of, by Nick Bakay and Mr. James."
—
New York Times
Posted Jan 16, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
44%
|
Let Them Chirp Awhile (2008) |
"
This sort of thing was indulgent enough the first time around; transplanted to the mumblecore milieu, it's intolerable."
—
New York Times
Posted Dec 5, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
13%
|
Saw V (2008) |
"
The latest and least of the Saw films is just plain boring and even a little tame -- albeit by the standards of a genre that helped bring the phrase "torture porn" into the lexicon."
—
New York Times
Posted Oct 27, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
45%
|
Take (2008) |
"
If there is anything the cinema needed less than another angst-ridden, cross-cutting tragedy about crime, fate, memory and redemption, it's the kind shot in an ugly monochromatic palette like Take."
—
New York Times
Posted Jul 18, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
8%
|
Postal (2007) |
"
Infantile, irreverent and boorish to the max, Postal explodes with bad attitude and lousy filmmaking."
—
New York Times
Posted May 23, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
18%
|
Kettle of Fish (2006) |
"
The first problem in Kettle of Fish, though by no means the last, is to imagine that by mussing up her hair, rumpling her clothes and accessorizing her with glasses and an ugly purse, you could ever make a believable wallflower out of Ms. Gershon."
—
New York Times
Posted Oct 5, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
13%
|
Haven (2006) |
"
From a producer of Crash comes Haven, an even phonier exercise in manufactured conflict, facile irony and preposterous contrivance."
—
New York Times
Posted Sep 15, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
3%
|
The Covenant (2006) |
"
It's super lame."
—
New York Times
Posted Sep 10, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
12%
|
Little Man (2006) |
"
A belligerent midget jewel thief assaults groins and molests women in this infantile comedy from the Wayans brothers."
—
New York Times
Posted Jul 13, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
20%
|
Uncut (2006) |
"
Explicit as it is, Uncut explains little about men or their members."
—
New York Times
Posted Jun 15, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
29%
|
Silent Hill (2006) |
"
Structured around a series of blackouts and gross-outs, Silent Hill is one long free fall through icky surrealism and underlighted nightmares."
—
New York Times
Posted Apr 25, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
48%
|
Summer Storm (Sommersturm) (2006) |
"
Summer Storm is another of those soft-core, simple-minded stories about a geeky young gay man (Robert Stadlober as Tobi) struggling with his sexuality over the course of a long, hot, sexed-up summer."
—
New York Times
Posted Mar 23, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
44%
|
She's the Man (2006) |
"
The ensuing complications -- romantic, social, sporty -- are modeled on Twelfth Night, although the tone of the movie (hysterical peppiness) and style of acting (emphatic grotesquerie) are more suited to campy Off Broadway musicals."
—
New York Times
Posted Mar 16, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
47%
|
Hoodwinked (2005) |
"
Little Red Riding Hood gets deconstructed in this sub-Shrek bummer, the latest collaboration between computers and cynicism."
—
New York Times
Posted Jan 12, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
——
|
Trapped by the Mormons () |
"
This would-be cult curiosity remakes a notorious 1922 'Mormonsploitation' flick about a mesmeric vampire recruiter for the Latter Day Saints and his dim-witted victim."
—
New York Times
Posted Dec 15, 2005
|
|
|
5%
|
The Hottie and the Nottie (2008) |
"
Crass, shrill, disingenuous, tawdry, mean-spirited, vulgar, idiotic, boring, slapdash."
—
Village Voice
Posted Feb 5, 2008
|
|
|
78%
|
Doc (2007) |
"
Immy Humes no doubt needed to make this movie, and the PR set (Mailer, Matthiessen, Plimpton) obviously enjoy the trip down memory lane, but while Doc makes for a fascinating subject, Doc feels intended less for us than for them."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jan 22, 2008
|
|
|
16%
|
Untraceable (2008) |
"
Untraceable hasn't the brains of a class-act psychothriller like Silence of the Lambs, and lacks the balls to juice up the trashy verve of the Saw series. Stuck in the middle, it leaves everyone stranded, actors and audience alike."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jan 22, 2008
|
|
|
43%
|
Lagerfeld Confidential (2007) |
"
Marconi's indifference to detail extends to any consideration of what, exactly, Lagerfeld does for a living, not to mention the history of his rise in the fashion world."
—
Village Voice
Posted Oct 23, 2007
|
|
|
68%
|
DarkBlueAlmostBlack (Azuloscurocasinegro) (Dark Blue Almost Black) (2007) |
"
Tells [a] ludicrously compact, aggressively 'heartfelt,' colorfully contrived story."
—
Village Voice
Posted Oct 16, 2007
|
|
|
23%
|
Balls of Fury (2007) |
"
[Question:] Balls of Fury is a movie about: a. A former table-tennis prodigy enlisted by the FBI to infiltrate the underground Ping-Pong tournament of a legendary Chinese criminal. b. Suppository jokes. c. Nothing worth discussing."
—
Village Voice
Posted Aug 28, 2007
|
|
|
80%
|
Kamp Katrina (2007) |
"
Stirring and lurid in equal measure, the film is compelling in its details but queasily detached: verité verging on exploitation."
—
Village Voice
Posted Aug 21, 2007
|
|
|
93%
|
This Is England (2007) |
"
Isolated excellence and larger lack of nerve-all dots, no connection-grows frustrating as England turns from the personal to the political, from character study to social studies."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jul 24, 2007
|
|
|
71%
|
The Method (El Metodo) (2007) |
"
Too clever by half, the plot contrivances deliver flippant satisfactions, and the agile performances keep the twists compelling, if less than credible."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jul 5, 2007
|
|
|
68%
|
Lights in the Dusk (Laitakaupungin valot) (2007) |
"
Kaurismäki has given us no special reason to revisit his coy, claustrophobic universe."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jun 13, 2007
|
|
|
44%
|
Hostel: Part II (2007) |
"
Ends up there is a moral to the story, one sure to delight the bamboozled pseudo-intellectuals who laughably defended Hostel as a geo-political critique of American arrogance and the culture of torture."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jun 8, 2007
|
|
|
——
|
The Fifth Empire () |
"
Any hope that the great Portuguese master is in one of his more accessible moods is quickly dashed as the film grows progressively darker, talkative, and stubborn in the extreme."
—
Village Voice
Posted May 30, 2007
|
|
|
63%
|
Day Watch (2007) |
"
The worst thing Bekmambetov has picked up from his American models is the tendency of megasequels to aggrandize material grown enervated, to compensate for thinness by spreading out."
—
Village Voice
Posted May 29, 2007
|
|
|
40%
|
Magic Mirror (Espelho Magico) (2005) |
"
Based on a novel by Augustina Bessa- Luís, a frequent de Oliveira collaborator, the film is perversely textual, an endlessly talking picture seemingly addressed to no one but itself."
—
Village Voice
Posted May 23, 2007
|
|
|
45%
|
Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End (2007) |
"
POTC:AWE is a lukewarm maelstrom of secret agendas, double crossings, tricky alliances, back stabbings, political conspiracies, warring factions, etc. -- none of which is the least bit captivating or, by and large, comprehensible."
—
Village Voice
Posted May 23, 2007
|
|
|
68%
|
Flanders (Flandres) (2007) |
"
[Director Dumont's] got a decent way of moving figures toward the vanishing point of a landscape. Otherwise, ugh."
—
Village Voice
Posted May 15, 2007
|
|
|
63%
|
Allegro (2006) |
"
Writer-director Christoffer Boe takes himself very, very seriously. Me, not so much."
—
Village Voice
Posted May 8, 2007
|
|
|
63%
|
Spider-Man 3 (2007) |
"
A certain twee anachronism has always been part of the Spider-Man tradition -- ditto dexterous, old-fashioned fun. But this summer's first obligatory blockbuster is all thumbs."
—
Village Voice
Posted May 1, 2007
|
|
|
51%
|
Color Me Kubrick (2007) |
"
A shapeless, low-grade comedy of flamboyance, giggling at Conway's histrionics and fishnet gloving."
—
Village Voice
Posted Mar 20, 2007
|
|
|
34%
|
TMNT (2007) |
"
Unlikely to achieve BFF status with the MMORPG set, this CGI feature is light on the LOL factor, heavy on the ADD action scenes, and, like, TOOIFM (Totally Out Of Its Freakin' Mind)."
—
Village Voice
Posted Mar 20, 2007
|
|
|
19%
|
I Think I Love My Wife (2007) |
"
Rock appears to have been inspired by the opportunity Chloe affords for unloading bitter chauvinism and venting hostility."
—
Village Voice
Posted Mar 13, 2007
|
|
|
88%
|
Maxed Out (2006) |
"
A slapdash piece of work totally indebted to second-hand rhetorical strategies (the '50s educational film, glib Bush-bashing) and threadbare indignation."
—
Village Voice
Posted Mar 6, 2007
|
|
|
59%
|
300 (2007) |
"
Frankly, it's the slavish, frame-by-frame devotion to Miller's source material that's the problem. That explains both the risible screenplay and why the movie, for all its liberation from the real world, never takes full-winged flight."
—
Village Voice
Posted Mar 6, 2007
|
|
|
8%
|
The Number 23 (2007) |
"
The Number 23 grips hold of one stupid idea and runs so far with it, in so many directions, to such little purpose, that it nearly won me over from sheer berserkoid effort."
—
City Pages, Minneapolis/St. Paul
Posted Feb 20, 2007
|
|
|
26%
|
Ghost Rider (2007) |
"
The blank, frenetic exhaustion of the final reel acts like a kid who tries to snap out of a candy-binge coma by snorting lines of Pixy Stix."
—
Village Voice
Posted Feb 20, 2007
|
|
|
75%
|
Tian bian yi duo yun (The Wayward Cloud) (2005) |
"
Tsai's emptied-out aesthetic has never felt so empty, his mannerisms so pointlessly mannered."
—
Village Voice
Posted Feb 20, 2007
|
|
|
19%
|
Factory Girl (2007) |
"
The least-fabulous movie imaginable about the most fabulous persona in that most fabulous of scenes, the Warhol Factory at the height of its genius and gaiety."
—
Village Voice
Posted Feb 6, 2007
|
|
|
73%
|
In the Pit (2007) |
"
In the midst of this nifty picture-making, one searches in vain for the big picture."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jan 30, 2007
|
63%
——
97%
