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Kevin Jones & Adam Mast

Kevin Jones & Adam Mast

"I'm not a quote guy."

Agrees with the Tomatometer 76% of the time.

Biography:
I grew up in Salt Lake City, and some of my most formative memories revolve around walking to and from my Little League baseball games right through throngs of Hippies in Sugar House Park. It was the summer of love and little did these long-haired dopers know that I knew more about the Beatles, the Dead, The Doors, Cream, Jefferson Airplane etc. than they did. Growing up in Mormon society so strongly influenced by the music and ethos of the 60s was not always easy, but it 'was' interesting. I've lead a varied life - graduating summa cum laude and valedictorian from Southern Utah University (home of the Tony Award winning Utah Shakespearean Festival) I failed to do much with the two degrees that I graduated with (Political Science and Psychology) and after spending a few years just living on the beach and writing songs, I wound up in business with a couple of guys I played college football with (one of whom played special teams for the Raiders for 3 seasons). Withing two years I was the Vice President of a multi-million dollar chain of Bodybuilding stores called Max Muscle. Between 1983 - 95 I lived all over Southern California from Burbank to San Juan Capistrano - and my passionate avocation has always been film and music. My first wife and I lived for concerts and premieres - we were rich, childless and fancy-free and thought nothing of flying to New York City for the weekend just to see a film. Alas, these salad days would come to a pathetic conclusion, as I left California alone - a decision made hastily when my wife ran off with Stephen Baldwin (talk about Usual Suspects?) Thus heartbroken and cuckolded at the hands of those uncircumcised Philistines the Baldwins, I sought refuge in the desert climes of St. George Utah. After a year long lost weekend where I traveled the country playing my original songs in bars and coffee houses all along Route 66, I returned to accept a job as Editor for Southern Utah's premiere Arts and Entertainment publication, The Independent. Writing humor as the Boneman (a nickname I received from a bodybuilding friend of mine - Flex Wheeler) and transforming the Indy from a 12 page rag - to a fat, colorful compendium of Art, Theatre, Music, and of course Cinematic information - both local and national. Among the writers I inherited was one very good film critic, Adam Mast (whom at the time, was about the only reason to pick up the paper). Due to our mutual passion for film we became fast friends (he?s still the only person I know who has a greater erudition when it comes to film). Not only is he a partner in zboneman.com the website we created together, but a trusted friend. His influence got me interested in film critique and together we attempt to see every film released (within the realm of possibility.) Adam and myself have created a Halloween film festival "Horrorfest" this year will be it's 5th year and it has grown into a monster (pardon the pun). Along with Bruce Bennett (another man of the Vine) we have created the Southern Utah Film Society and, though it's very much in it's infancy, early response has been astonishing. We live in an area where many Hollywood retirees migrate to and it has been terribly gratifying to see them turn out in droves. In the wake of the now defunct Eclipse Film Festival which was originally created by friends and acquaintances of myself and Adam we are trying to salvage some of the excitement that it had generated by taking up the reigns of a guerrilla film competition that Eclipse started in its last year of existence. The response has been so overwhelming that we?ve had to limit the number of participants to 20 teams, but we?ve decided to conduct the event twice a year. One to correspond with the St. George Art Festival and the other in conjunction with Horrorfest. Zboneman.com is mainly geared toward film, but we also review albums and you can peruse 8 years worth of my humor columns as well. Humor is a large part of what we do, I?ll take a studio still from every film and give it an amusing caption - something EW is now doing and now again they just crib one of mine word for word. I don?t care - if nothing else it?s flattering and amusing in a way. Particularly for our loyal readership, whom often inform me when they notice EW using one of my lines. In any case we?re very excited to be part of the rottentomatoes ranks. We recently met and befriended Binh and Senh at Showest in Las Vegas and were totally starstruck. There is only one other website in existence that?s in the same league as rottentomatoes, but let?s face it RT is the coolest film site under the stars and I know I speak for Adam when I say it is a huge thrill and an honor to be included among the finest film critics in the world. Thanks guys.
Favorites:
To Kill a Mockingbird, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Manhattan, Field of Dreams, Barton Fink, American Beauty, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Sideways, Capote.
Publications:
zBoneman Movie Reviews
Total Reviews:
444
Location:
Southern Utah

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 444
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
F 4% Bloodrayne (2006) " There was plenty of soft core sex scenes where toothsome supplicants writhe in unbridled passion to get a naked fang into some hapless sucker-to-be." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jun 24, 2006
D- 7% Envy (2004) " In the end the movie limps across the finish line trying to foist itself off as a morality play about honesty and friendship." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jul 11, 2006
D- 10% The Wedding Date (2005) " I didn't mind that I knew exactly where this movie was headed from frame one. That's to be expected in a film with such an obvious premise. I did expect to be entertained however." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 8, 2006
D- 11% Are We There Yet? (2005) " This will fast be forgotten as a really lousy movie and with any luck Ice Cube will be able to soldier ahead and shrug it off as minor battle lost on his way to winning the war. " — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 2, 2006
D- 8% Doogal (2006) " I felt truly sorry for most of the vocal talent -- maybe they were all somehow Hoodwinked into signing on before they got the script. Mostly though I just felt sorry for myself." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 2, 2006
D 13% September Dawn (2007) " It shoots itself in the foot early on and hobbles painfully to it's lame conclusion. Seriously folks, there is no reason to be offended by a film this stupid." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Oct 5, 2007
D 7% Captivity (2007) " Unlike Saw and Hostel, there is no sense of style or trickery at play in Captivity. There's a hint that there might be a twist or a reveal," — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Aug 2, 2007
D 9% Norbit (2007) " Norbit is quite simply an awful film. It's unfunny, uninspired, unoriginal, and extremely offensive." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Feb 22, 2007
D 16% xXx: State of the Union (2005) " It's big and loud, stupid and dull, and wouldn't you know it? The ending is sequel ready and features a scene in which Samuel L. Jackson proclaims he has the perfect new XXX candidate." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jun 29, 2006
D 20% The Pacifier (2005) " Sure the movie has its funny moments but for the most part they are awash in a sugary sea of cutesy, sentimental pap, that makes you wanna stick your finger down your throat." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jun 29, 2006
D 33% The Libertine (2006) " Depp however, seems uncharacteristically unable to get inside this character and shine any light on what makes him tick." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jun 29, 2006
D —— American Crime (2004) " American Crime is another of the recent influx of straight-to-video horror flicks geared to cash-in on the new found interest that the surprise success of Saw." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jun 28, 2006
D 70% Dogville (2003) " Everything about Dogville is alienating, the only thing that could have possibly made this film any worse is if it had been a musical. " — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 28, 2006
D 10% Catwoman (2004) " Sharon Stone's basic instincts have abandoned her of late, and all of the other supporting players are stiffly drawn and, if anything, serve to weaken the proceedings." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 19, 2006
D 27% Anacondas - The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004) " I'm not going to bother to single out any of the performers or their performances, let's just say that most of them found it challenging enough to master their ethnic dialect." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 12, 2006
D 13% Agent Cody Banks 2 - Destination London (2004) " I believe I gave the original a C- (just to be nice), but whatever you do, don't pay to see this movie in a theater -- this is the kind of crap that generally goes straight to video." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 12, 2006
D 5% The Fog (2005) " Everything I've just written though is completely irrelevant. The bottom line is this film is decent to look at, but it isn't scary at all, nor does it offer up an iota of tension." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 8, 2006
D 15% Miss Congeniality 2 - Armed and Fabulous (2005) " I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly Miss Congeniality 2's target audience, but I have to tell you -- it was borderline torture to sit through." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 8, 2006
D 58% Last Days (2005) " Meandering, frustrating, pointless -- I recommend it highly for insomniacs." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 8, 2006
D 32% Dominion - Prequel to the Exorcist (2005) " For all it's over-the-top ineptitude, at least Harlin tried to scare you. Whereas Schrader simply attempts to bore the audience out of their seats with his bald, androgynous demon." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 4, 2006
D 1% Alone in the Dark (2005) " Tara Reid plays an Archeologist/Museum Curator . . . must I continue?" — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 4, 2006
D 16% Revolver (2005) " Revolver is a colossal misfire, and word of mouth for this movie won't be good -- particularly as the film promised so much, and delivered so little. " — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 2, 2006
D 7% Date Movie (2006) " Writers Friedberg and Seltzer demonstrate such a slippery grasp on the concept of parody that their misbegotten send-up ends up playing more like a trivia game than canny comedy." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 2, 2006
22% The Pink Panther (2006) " If you look hard enough past the tepid, conventional script, under the direction of Cheaper By The Dozen culprit Shawn Levy - you can find some truly funny moments from Martin and company." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jun 24, 2006
35% Malevolence (2004) " Malevolence is only being offered up in odd, smaller markets, so if you're curious about it, you'll have to keep your eyes open, or watch for it at the video store." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 2, 2006
D+ 12% Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (AVP 2) (2007) " Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem plays like Team America: World Police only the humor here is unintentional and the performances are far more wooden." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jan 22, 2008
D+ 15% The Condemned (2007) " The Condemned is a silly, preposterous, over-the-top actioneer that dares to commit the cardinal sin of trying to infuse a little social commentary." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jun 4, 2007
D+ 8% The Number 23 (2007) " Just for the fun of it I checked Rotten Tomatoes in the hope that its cumulative critical score would be 23, which would actually lent the film a little bit of spookiness." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 25, 2007
D+ 11% The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007) " The Hills Have Eyes II uses the violence as a hook. Beyond that it is style-less and absolutely disposable." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 25, 2007
D+ 5% Because I Said So (2007) " One has to wonder if the Academy Award winning actress (Keaton) needs a paycheck so badly that she had to stoop this low?" — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Feb 22, 2007
D+ 10% Pulse (2006) " Seriously folks, this film isn't scary in the slightest, and with a picture like The Descent playing right now, there isn't much of a reason to see Pulse." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Aug 11, 2006
D+ 21% You, Me and Dupree (2006) " I'm not really criticizing You, Me, and Dupree because of it's obvious been-there-done-that nature. I'm criticizing it because it's supposed to be a comedy and it's just not funny." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jul 27, 2006
D+ 5% Christmas with the Kranks (2004) " Tim Allen's funniest moment is revealed in the trailer and features the after effects of a botox shot. The scene actually comes across as more humorous in the preview." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted May 24, 2006
D+ 54% Cellular (2004) " Cellular features every action movie clich%uFFFD you can shake a shtick at; crooked cops, a damsel in distress, a young buck out to save the day, a little boy caught in the fray." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 19, 2006
D+ 31% Around the World in 80 Days (2004) " Messy, convoluted, and surprisingly joyless -- despite valiant efforts by stars Jackie Chan and Steve Coogan. Yet another classic that should have remained un-remade." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 12, 2006
D+ 6% Son of the Mask (2005) " What's really sad about Son of the Mask is how hard the effects team work at livening up the proceedings. There's some excellent visuals here." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 8, 2006
D+ 13% Hide and Seek (2005) " Once the identity has been let out of the bag, you're pretty much praying that the movie ends as fast as possible. Just terribly painful to watch -- the ending." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 4, 2006
D+ 27% Fantastic Four (2005) " The fact that I went in with the lowest possible expectations renders it all the more disappointing. Even my most meager hopes for it failed to be reached." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 4, 2006
D+ 16% Cursed (2005) " For starters, the movie has been cursed with the (PG-13), meaning that Rick Baker is never really given the opportunity to show us what's in his gruesome bag of tricks." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 4, 2006
D+ —— Charlie (2004) " The film is often confusing, but it is gripping, I'm just not sure whether I was gripped on the story or gripped by confusion." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 2, 2006
D+ 23% Freedomland (2006) " Had a more assured director been at the helm, Freedomland might have had a chance. As it stands, it's as unsteady and ramshackle as the crumbling structure it's named for." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 2, 2006
C- 34% National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007) " Throughout the first act of the film I thought I'd possibly injured an occular muscle by the sheer number of times I rolled my eyes." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Jan 22, 2008
C- 29% The Heartbreak Kid (2007) " A few of the laughs work, but most fall flat. What's most disheartening is that the thing most lacking in this insipid remake (which the Farrelly's usually bring in spades is heart and charm." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Dec 6, 2007
C- 17% Saw IV (2007) " Saw IV was in such an apparent rush to make its Halloween deadline, that the story suffered more than any of the film's numerous victims." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Dec 6, 2007
C- 21% Fred Claus (2007) " If anyone can explain to me Santa's aging process and how Fred fits into it, I'm all ears." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Dec 6, 2007
C- 24% Awake (2007) " At its heart, Awake is an overstuffed thriller that doesn't know when to quit. It has elements of Coma, Vanilla Sky, and Malice, but none of the class." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Dec 6, 2007
C- 20% The Invasion (2007) " Fearing an Invasion of her star territory by the ruggedly handsome Bondsman, Kidman has Craig relegated to extra status. In a different era he might have been thrown to the lions." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Oct 5, 2007
C- 53% The Last Mimzy (2007) " There's virtually nothing compelling about it. There are things that transpire throughout the movie that are supposed to evoke a sense of awe, but for the most part, they don't." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 25, 2007
C- 20% Dead Silence (2007) " All that doesn't work in this picture would have been easily redeemed had there been a single legitimate scare to speak of." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Apr 25, 2007
C- 2% Epic Movie (2007) " Epic Movie lumbers along without a humorous or original bone in it's painfully uninspired body." — zBoneman Movie Reviews
Posted Feb 22, 2007
Showing 1 - 50 of 444
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