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Rubin Safaya

""Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash, we have very little reason to be interested in them." - Pauline Kael "Cinema is truth at twenty-four frames a second, and every cut is a lie." - Jean-Luc Godard"

Agrees with the Tomatometer 79% of the time.

Publications:: Cinemalogue.com

Total Reviews:: 144

Location:: Dallas-Ft. Worth

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 144

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Rating	T-Meter	Title \| Year	Add Date
F+	20%	The Tourist (2010)	" How do you say, "I want a refund," in Italian?" — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 15, 2010
F	6%	All About Steve (2009)	" Were you thinking "deaf kids", "sinkhole"? No? I defy you to write a dumber screenplay." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
F+	9%	My Life in Ruins (Driving Aphrodite) (2009)	" Leave it to Hollywood to take a bad idea and make it terrible." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
D-	50%	Tron Legacy (2010)	" Garrett Hedlund may be the world's first live-action, artificial actor." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 18, 2010
D-	49%	The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)	" ...core fans will go see this movie regardless of what critics, or any other rational human beings, tend to think of this color-graded, celluloid turkey." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Jul 3, 2010
D-	——	Goods (2000)	" Did the studio put so little faith in this snowball of ineptitude that the filmmakers couldn't even afford a tripod?" — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
D	35%	Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)	" A forgettable entertainment that might be worth a matinee if you can't think of anything else to do--laundry, for example." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 31, 2010
D	43%	Robin Hood (2010)	" [Ridley Scott's] primary interest seems to be that of all "generals in the arts," to wow us with action set pieces garnished with bits of faux-profundity and Cliff's Notes historicity." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 14, 2010
D	15%	A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)	" ...an unintelligible mess, as if this remake of the slasher-genre favorite is its own dismembered victim." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 1, 2010
D	76%	Kick-Ass (2010)	" Kick-Ass is a movie carefully engineered to appeal to the child in some of us." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Apr 16, 2010
D	19%	Cop Out (2010)	" I'm convinced that Mr. Smith has the ability to create humorous sketches and slap them together... But he doesn't seem to yet grasp how to structure, pace and edit a continuous, rational narrative." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Feb 26, 2010
D	18%	Valentine's Day (2010)	" Where's Burt Bachrach or Leonard Cohen when you need him?" — Cinemalogue.com Posted Feb 12, 2010
D	28%	Extraordinary Measures (2010)	" It seems there's one jackass doctor for every desperate father in America." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Jan 22, 2010
D	12%	Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009)	" ...the uptown, house-hawking, vegetarian Meryl gets to flex Ms. Parker's typecast, cosmopolitan dependency act..." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 18, 2009
D	43%	Jennifer's Body (2009)	" Devil's Kettle might as well have been called Crock Pot." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
D	7%	Post Grad (2009)	" ...a coming-of-age tableau that is neither inspirational nor uplifting." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
D	45%	Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (Ice Age 3) (2009)	" When the story does get underway, the incident that sets it into motion seems thrown in%u2014precisely what you'd expect for the third installment in a series that was already tired by the second." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
D	75%	Capitalism: A Love Story (2009)	" Mr. Moore's documentary fluctuates from lucid, cogent arguments, to cartoonish abstractions and conjectures--all the while, his lilting voice massaging our guilt reflex." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
	73%	Where the Wild Things Are (2009)	" ...a total collapse of coherent storytelling--disconnected scenes of running, jumping, throwing, thrashing, and destroying interspersed with languid stretches of navel gazing (read: moping)." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
	25%	Law Abiding Citizen (2009)	" On a side note, can you believe the Oscar-winning star of RAY made a crack about Helen Keller?" — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
	52%	The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)	" At best, it's an assembly line of disconnected gags that rely entirely on Mr. Clooney's sub-deadpans and Mr. McGregor's innocent mug working perpendicular to the jokes. At worst, it's a meditation on the greater absurdities of New Age beliefs and ideals." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
	66%	The Blind Side (2009)	" The black kid is the MacGuffin around which revolves the affected lives of white people." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
	28%	The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)	" The entire film seems to consist of three thoughts, cycled ad nauseum: Don't leave me. I can't live without you. Make me a vampire." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Dec 6, 2009
	54%	Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)	" It's as if seven Vice Presidents of Production sat in a boardroom for three days straight, without food or water, and finally their collective genius, poring over reams of test screening data, resoundingly declared with one voice, "WE NEED MORE RUM JOKES" — Cinemalogue.com Posted Jul 7, 2006
	76%	The Devil Wears Prada (2006)	" ...a story that makes studio executives proud, in which the end lesson is that Stockholm Syndrome is a healthy outlook on life for a career gal." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Jun 30, 2006
	76%	Superman Returns (2006)	" Routh isn't given much else to do except act as a Flying Plot Device... Kate Bosworth's Lois Lane is a study in the art of still life." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Jun 30, 2006
	36%	The Lake House (2006)	" It's odd, but now I can say I've seen a movie which makes the timing of character interaction in the "Star Wars" prequels look fantastic." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Jun 16, 2006
	74%	Cars (2006)	" ...scenes involving the colorful townspeople, capitalizing largely on Paul Newman's skill at playing wise yet ostensibly cantankerous old men, are repeatedly interrupted by long stretches of boring homages to the world of celebrity..." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Jun 9, 2006
	81%	A Prairie Home Companion (2006)	" ...the film is so busy coddling itself in colloquial humor and Keillor's conjured up diatribes that, from one Minnesotan to you, isn't funny in it's own right. The humor depends largely on whether or not you've been a fan of the original show." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Jun 9, 2006
	37%	Keeping Up With The Steins (2006)	" ...the director treats this movie much in the same way he treats the religion--an endless series of blindly-adhered liturgies, the deeper history and meaning of which is never fully contemplated." — Cinemalogue.com Posted Jun 2, 2006
	57%	X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)	" This isn't so much a movie as it is a solicitation to lower one's expectations..." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 26, 2006
	25%	The Da Vinci Code (2006)	" ...the real secret to "The Da Vinci Code" is that there is no secret." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 19, 2006
	13%	Just My Luck (2006)	" Lohan reads more like oak than Marilyn Monroe on her most inebriated day." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 12, 2006
	33%	Poseidon (2006)	" It's a ship. It sinks. People die. Sound familiar?" — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 11, 2006
	31%	The Promise (Master of Crimson Armor) (Wu ji) (2005)	" While the visuals are often quite beautiful, the film is structurally identical to most other popular Chinese epics which, in my mind, have become the East Asian equivalent of Bollywood Cinema -- trash that looks like art to the average viewer." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 4, 2006
	70%	Mission: Impossible III (2006)	" The movie leaves you no sense of reward for having paid attention and everything might as well have been one large dream sequence." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 4, 2006
	40%	Running Scared (2006)	" There's something films like this reflect in our nature... that we seem to delight in propped up monsters that give the protagonist an excuse to behave like one." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 4, 2006
	55%	16 Blocks (2006)	" It's like those cartoon chase sequences where the scrolling background is on a loop. Here, the characters are on a loop, and the backgrounds change." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 4, 2006
	49%	The Hills Have Eyes (2006)	" To describe this film as "pornographically violent" is an affront to pornography." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 4, 2006
	33%	The Libertine (2006)	" Stumble away from this film as quickly as possible." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 4, 2006
	27%	The Shaggy Dog (2006)	" It's an underestimation of the intelligence of your average eight year old to believe his or her rapt attention can be held for long by a film like this." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 4, 2006
	25%	Failure to Launch (2006)	" ...logic be damned if this film needs an artificial catharsis to keep audiences from falling asleep." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 3, 2006
	73%	V for Vendetta (2006)	" They're working within a style that depends on exaggeration, sure -- I get that. However, aside from lacking the granularity that would make V a more intriguing and complex figure, he is by even his own admission little more than a reaction." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 3, 2006
	61%	Find Me Guilty (2006)	" We could have done just as well to watch the proceedings on Court TV -- free, as it were, to flip channels or get up for a snack and skip the parts that disinterest us, rather than be held hostage by 125 minutes of drive-by clich�s." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 3, 2006
	86%	Inside Man (2006)	" This isn't the kind of story that can really occupy the full length of a feature film, unless of course you're fooled into believing something more actually happened." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 3, 2006
	78%	CSA: Confederate States of America (2006)	" Here, technique interferes with the film's argument because it's attempting to satirize a history that didn't occur." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 3, 2006
	44%	Take the Lead (2006)	" ...it goes through it's checklist, epitomized in 80's inspirational student-triumphs-over-socioeconomic-pseudoreality films like "Lean on Me" and its lesser-known predecessor "Stand and Deliver"..." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 3, 2006
	37%	Scary Movie 4 (2006)	" The film quickly abandons biting sarcasm in favor of gumming you to a sloppy, slow death." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 3, 2006
	33%	The Sentinel (2006)	" Michael Douglas, now 61, needs to push whatever sex appeal it is his booking agents (and the public) think he possesses. I don't care, and neither should you." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 3, 2006
	41%	American Dreamz (2006)	" It figures... that Universal Pictures would see fit to inject multiple jabs at the world of television while unable to re-examine its own hubris." — Cinemalogue.com Posted May 3, 2006

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