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Critics / Simon Crook
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    SIMON CROOK

    Agrees with the Tomatometer 79% of the time.

    Biography: Empire film critic.

    Publications: Empire Magazine, Empire Movies, Total Film

    Total Reviews: 35

    LISTING OF ALL REVIEWS & ARTICLES

    • All
    • Movies
    • DVDs
    • Fresh
    • Rotten
    • Unquoted
    Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date (default)

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    62%

    Carriers (2009)

    " A moody, engaging end-of-the-world horror-drama, if a bit too apocalypse-lite." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Dec 11, 2009

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    82%

    Paranormal Activity (2009)

    " An Amityville for the YouTube age: potent, primal and genuinely frightening." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Nov 27, 2009

    Fresh
    3/5

    Rotten
    42%

    Colin (2009)

    " Falls down technically (unsurprisingly) and narratively (bit if shame) but with a certain British charm." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Oct 23, 2009

    Fresh
    3/5

    Rotten
    47%

    Ong Bak 2 (2009)

    " Jaa’s period ‘beatquel’ is thick on action but thin on plot. Awesome final fight, though." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Oct 16, 2009

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    89%

    Moon (2009)

    " They do make ’em like they used to — a fresh blast of old-school sci-fi, bursting with ideas and a stellar turn from Rockwell." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Jul 17, 2009

    Fresh
    4/5

    Rotten
    53%

    Viva (2008)

    " The plywood acting’s pretty funny, as is the coy sex; what amazes is the beautifully lurid, near-fetishistic set design. At two hours, it’s an in-joke over-indulged, and it’s so camp the camera’s practically winking, but minor cultdom beckons." — Empire Magazine

    Posted May 15, 2009

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    55%

    Surveillance (2009)

    " Trashy material, arty approach, Lynch’s comeback is harsh, puzzling and mostly weird-bad." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Mar 6, 2009

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    60%

    Quarantine (2008)

    " As a visceral, camera-shuddery ride into foamy-mouthed zombie hell, it’s efficient enough — but if you’ve already seen [Rec], steer clear..." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Nov 21, 2008

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    65%

    Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

    " Crude, hilarious, if a little corny, Smith's latest hardcore comedy is right on the money shot." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Nov 14, 2008

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    73%

    Fear(s) of the Dark (2008)

    " Visually, Fear(s) is top drawer, but as a feature it’s sketchier than Terry Gilliam’s doodlepad. Those involved in the dark graphic arts should seek it out on the big screen, but this cult-in the-making is destined to find its true disciples on DVD." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Oct 3, 2008

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    83%

    Eden Lake (2008)

    " You don't watch it, you survive it. A battering experience, and the hardest Brit horror in years." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Sep 9, 2008

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    61%

    The Duchess (2008)

    " For Knightley the part fits like a corset - it’s an enigmatic, free-spirited turn and a role she’ll be remembered for, probably her best role to date in a film not directed by Joe Wright." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Sep 5, 2008

    Fresh
    3/5

    Rotten
    39%

    The Rocker (2008)

    " Lightweight but likable." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Aug 18, 2008

    Fresh
    5/5

    Fresh
    74%

    The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner (1962)

    " Ultimately, Richardson’s pot-shots at consumerism and class have lost some urgency, but the nihilistic, punky buzz packs an immortal wallop. Classic." — Total Film

    Posted Aug 4, 2008

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    50%

    Cass (2008)

    " A fair effort which does nothing to beat it's way out of a crowded genre." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Jul 31, 2008

    Rotten
    1/5

    Rotten
    19%

    Meet Dave (2008)

    " Avoid like the plague." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Jul 25, 2008

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    66%

    The Incredible Hulk (2008)

    " Certainly a more convincing proposition than the tank-shotputting hot air balloon of Lee's movie." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Jun 11, 2008

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    94%

    Good Night. And, Good Luck (2005)

    " Provocative, principled and richly detailed, this is compelling stuff. Emotionally it’s a little dry, but as brain-food, it’s absolutely invigorating. George done good." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Feb 27, 2008

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    79%

    Black Water (2007)

    " A barely disguised B-movie - but one that bites deep." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Feb 22, 2008

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    36%

    Sleuth (2007)

    " Minus a couple of brisk, black laughs, this hollow remake botches the twists and sucks the fun right out of its feisty source." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Nov 21, 2007

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    93%

    Sicko (2007)

    " Horrifying, heart-breaking, often hilarious - Moore’s latest shock doc is a potent polemic." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Oct 24, 2007

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    48%

    Hatchet (2007)

    " Like Scream never happened, this is an uneven comedy-horror homage that gets by on enthusiasm alone." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Oct 5, 2007

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    90%

    The Breakfast Club (1984)

    " Good and bad, it’s still the definitive ’80s teen movie." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Jul 18, 2007

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    44%

    Hostel: Part II (2007)

    " Roth’s slick shock-’em-up sequel is a dispiritingly traditional splat of gristly Grand Guignol. It’s tooled up to outrage, but ultimately numbs rather than grips." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Jun 29, 2007

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    11%

    The Messengers (2007)

    " It's like a movie premonition — you've seen it all before." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Apr 6, 2007

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    92%

    The Host (2007)

    " You'll laugh, you'll gasp, you'll jump, you’ll ask Hollywood for your money back. Seek it out." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Mar 17, 2007

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    92%

    The Host (2007)

    " You’ll laugh, you’ll gasp, you’ll jump, you’ll ask Hollywood for your money back. Seek it out." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Mar 10, 2007

    Fresh
    3/5

    Rotten
    8%

    The Number 23 (2007)

    " Genuinely intriguing in places and romps along at a satisfying pace for a conspiracy thriller." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Feb 20, 2007

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    100%

    Ghosts (2006)

    " Micro-budget, big issues and one of the year's first mini-surprises: Broomfield's turned a pressing, grave topic into a gripping piece of cinema." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Jan 12, 2007

    Fresh
    3/5

    Rotten
    53%

    Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny (2006)

    " For fans, a crowd-surf over Tenacious D’s best bits. For the unbaptised, a novelty movie of a novelty band, big on spirit but in search of a script." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Nov 29, 2006

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    77%

    Look Both Ways (2006)

    " A dreamy but tough ensemble indie that delivers its existential angst with a straight-up Aussie drawl." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Aug 25, 2006

    Fresh
    3/5

    Rotten
    59%

    Hostel (2006)

    " The first act’s filler, otherwise it’s a squirmer. Bring a bucket." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Aug 2, 2006

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    60%

    Lower City (2006)

    " Spunky performances and a dynamic, earthy style boost an otherwise predictable, albeit sexually-charged, latino love triangle." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Apr 1, 2006

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    94%

    Good Night. And, Good Luck (2005)

    " Provocative, principled and richly detailed, this is compelling stuff. Emotionally it's a little dry, but as brain-food, it's absolutely invigorating. George done good." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Apr 1, 2006

    Rotten
    1/5

    Rotten
    5%

    The Fog (2005)

    " Don’t be afraid." — Empire Magazine

    Posted Apr 1, 2006
     
     
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    Best Reviewed

    Fresh Sample

    Fresh

    CarriersOffsite

    Fresh

    Paranormal ActivityOffsite

    Fresh

    ColinOffsite

    Fresh

    Ong Bak 2Offsite

    Fresh

    MoonOffsite

    Fresh

    VivaOffsite

    Fresh

    QuarantineOffsite

    Fresh

    Zack and Miri Make a PornoOffsite

    Fresh

    Fear(s) of the DarkOffsite

    Fresh

    Eden LakeOffsite

    More…

    Best Reviewed

    Rotten Sample

    Rotten

    SurveillanceOffsite

    Rotten

    CassOffsite

    Rotten

    Meet DaveOffsite

    Rotten

    SleuthOffsite

    Rotten

    HatchetOffsite

    Rotten

    Hostel: Part IIOffsite

    Rotten

    The MessengersOffsite

    Rotten

    The FogOffsite

    More…

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