ROTTEN TOMATOES: Rob Blackwelder

Official Websites:
splicedwire.com

ROB BLACKWELDER

""F***in' DARK in here!" Caesar (Joe Pantoliano), "Bound")"

Agrees with the Tomatometer 71% of the time.

Biography: Once upon a time, Rob was the entertainment editor at a small community college with a kick-*** journalism program. One day he graduated and realized that he could not give up writing about movies, even if he had to hold a day job to do it. Through a friend he got a peanut-paying freelance gig at a podunk newspaper in an overgrown farm town in Northern California, writing one review a week. It wasn't pretty, but it kept him on the mailing lists at the publicity houses. Soon Rob started a web site called Movieolla and before long was being chased by lawyers for the people who make the Moviola editing equipment that is the film industry work horse for cutting and splicing. Hmm, thought Rob, splicing! And thus was born SPLICEDwire (http://www.splicedwire.com), the web site for SPLICEDwire Content Services, which provides movie reviews and features to newspapers, web sites, and other media outlets. Rob was named one of the 10 Best Film Critics of 2003 by the Critic Doctor (http://www.criticdoctor.com/toptenlists/2003.html).

Favorites: RECENT #1 FILMS: 2003: "Lost in Translation" 2002: "Chicago" 2001: "Amelie" 2000: "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" 1999: "Run Lola Run" 1998: "Buffalo '66" 1997: "Titanic" 1996: "Breaking the Waves" 1995: "Othello" Robio's FAVORITES list:

Breaking the Waves" (1996, Lars VonTrier)

"What's New Pussycat" (1965, Clive Donner)

"The Thin Man" (1934, Woodbridge S. VanDyke)

"Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981, Stephen Spielberg) [*} (tie) "His Girl Friday" (1940, Howard Hawks)

"The Seven Year Itch" (1955, Billy Wilder)

"Laura" (1944, Otto Preminger)

"Gilda" (1946, Charles Vidor)

"The Usual Suspects" (1995, Bryan Singer)

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown" (1991, Pedro Almodovar)

"Dangerous Liaisons" (1988, Stephen Frears)

"The Philadelphia Story" (1940, George Cukor)

"Bound" (1996, Wachowski Bros.)

"Moon Over Miami" (1941, Walter Lang)

Publications: Combustible Celluloid, SPLICEDWire

Critics' Group: San Francisco Film Critics Circle

Total Reviews: 1891
Total QuickRatings: 310

Location: Oakland, CA

WORST REVIEWED FILMS

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Rating	T-Meter	Title \| Year	Add Date (default)

Rotten 0/4	Rotten 46%	Dark Water (2005)	" Torpid, trite and not the least bit scary � just unrelentingly unpleasant � (and) the most contemptible kind of cinema horror: putting little kids in peril for cheap thrills." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jul 7, 2005
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 14%	Honeymooners (2005)	" ...just another fat sitcom loser who never changes and his young, gorgeous, savvy wife who apparently doesn't have the self-respect to dump the schmuck." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jun 8, 2005
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 41%	Kicking and Screaming (2005)	" *Most agonizing is the sting of watching Ferrell, after (his) witty performances in Elf* and Melinda & Melinda, revert to the same old one-note, dim-bulb clowning.*" — SPLICEDWire* Posted May 11, 2005
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 13%	Boogeyman (2005)	Click here to read article — SPLICEDWire Posted Feb 27, 2005
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 17%	Cursed (2005)	Click here to read article — SPLICEDWire Posted Feb 27, 2005
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 8%	Man of the House (2005)	Click here to read article — SPLICEDWire Posted Feb 27, 2005
Rotten w.5/4	Fresh 85%	Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2005)	" *Tony Jaa has grace, style as a fighter, stunt man, but (he) can do better than Ong-Bak." — SPLICEDWire* Posted Feb 18, 2005
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 1%	Alone in the Dark (2005)	" Director Uwe Boll (is) a latter-day Ed Wood who fancies himself a cross between action-sytlish John Woo and B-movie horror-ific John Carpenter." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 26, 2005
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 5%	Christmas with the Kranks (2004)	" *As I write this...I have just walked out on Christmas With the Kranks* after roughly 45 minutes of mind-numbingly humorless, sitcom barrel-bottom idiocy.*" — SPLICEDWire* Posted Nov 22, 2004
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 9%	First Daughter (2004)	" Could well be the most hackneyed and insipid movie of 2004...Cutesy-poo to a sickening degree, yet peppered with pseudo-political sincerity." — SPLICEDWire Posted Sep 24, 2004
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 22%	Van Helsing (2004)	" The epitome of everything that's wrong with $150 million B-movies." — SPLICEDWire Posted May 5, 2004
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 12%	Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat (2003)	" *I don't remember a rave scene with a cameo by hoochy hotel heiress Paris Hilton in Dr. Seuss's The Cat in the Hat,* do you?*" — SPLICEDWire* Posted Nov 19, 2003
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 9%	Grind (2003)	" *Think Blue Crush* without water � or awesome surfing footage, likable characters with real personalities, beautiful girls in bikinis or anything else worth watching.*" — SPLICEDWire* Posted Aug 12, 2003
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 11%	Alex and Emma (2003)	" *After wishing I could claw my eyes out through How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days* and now Alex and Emma...if I never see another Kate Hudson movie it will be too soon.*" — SPLICEDWire* Posted Jun 18, 2003
Rotten 0/4	Fresh 60%	Old School (2003)	" ...goes so far beyond hackneyed, laughless, tiresome incompetence that it may be one of the most unwatchable movies I�ve seen in 11 years as a film critic." — SPLICEDWire Posted Feb 19, 2003
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 43%	How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)	" If you want to lose a guy in one day, drag him to see this movie." — SPLICEDWire Posted Feb 5, 2003
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 6%	Extreme Ops (2002)	" I can't remember the last time I saw worse stunt editing or cheaper action movie production values than in Extreme Ops." — SPLICEDWire Posted Nov 27, 2002
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 3%	Fear Dot Com (2002)	" If (this) sounds like entertainment to you, perhaps you should save the price of admission and put it toward therapy." — SPLICEDWire Posted Aug 29, 2002
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 5%	Serving Sara (2002)	" ...plot holes so large and obvious a marching band might as well be stomping through them in clown clothes, playing a college football fight song on untuned instruments." — SPLICEDWire Posted Aug 21, 2002
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 22%	Mr. Deeds (2002)	" I've never seen (a remake) do anything as stomach-turning as the way Adam Sandler's new movie rapes, pillages and incinerates Frank Capra's classic..." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jun 25, 2002
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 13%	Sorority Boys (2002)	" When the casting call for this movie went out, it must have read 'seeking anyone with acting ambition but no sense of pride or shame.'" — SPLICEDWire Posted Mar 20, 2002
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 34%	Resident Evil (2002)	" *It's been 13 months and 295 preview screenings since I last walked out on a movie, but Resident Evil* really earned my indignant, preemptive departure.*" — SPLICEDWire* Posted Mar 13, 2002
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 5%	Corky Romano (2001)	" Why do you suppose "Saturday Night Live" stars seem to be no more discriminating when picking movie scripts than zoo monkeys are when they eat their own feces?" — SPLICEDWire Posted Oct 12, 2001
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 50%	Kiss of the Dragon (2001)	" *Overproduced action movies aimed at the lowest common denominator simply cannot get any more trite or insultingly hackneyed than Kiss of the Dragon." — SPLICEDWire* Posted Jul 5, 2001
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 12%	Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles (2001)	" *Hogan's Subaru commercials have 200 times the spirit and charm of Dundee 3." — SPLICEDWire* Posted Apr 18, 2001
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 11%	Freddy Got Fingered (2001)	" Tom Green is nothing but a walking, talking schtick." — SPLICEDWire Posted Apr 18, 2001
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 11%	Joe Dirt (2001)	" An astoundingly incompetent debacle of a movie, Joe Dirt is definitive proof that some Hollywood studios will greenlight anything -- anything -- if they think the highly desirable 14-29 male moron demographic will spend money to see it." — SPLICEDWire Posted Apr 12, 2001
Rotten 0/4	Fresh 70%	Series 7: The Contenders (2001)	" Tasteless, pointless, irritating and absurd." — SPLICEDWire Posted Mar 1, 2001
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 16%	Saving Silverman (2001)	" So idiotic, contrived and inept that there's almost no chance a worse movie will be released all year." — SPLICEDWire Posted Feb 9, 2001
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 2%	Battlefield Earth (2000)	" I hated this movie, and I had a great time doing it." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 13%	Screwed (2000)	" Screwed is a low-brow dognapping caper comedy that had all the early warning signs of a real stinker." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 25%	Loser (2000)	" The most mundane, most out-of-touch college romance of the year?" — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 9%	Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)	" It's not just amateurish, it's completely inept from premise to execution." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 15%	Idle Hands (1999)	" Even under the best of circumstances, there's nothing redeemable here." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 2%	Baby Geniuses (1999)	" Baby Geniuses doesn't waste any time getting stupid." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 11%	End of Days (1999)	" *Easily one of the worst movies of 1999, End of Days* is absolutely insufferable.*" — SPLICEDWire* Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 11%	Phantoms (1998)	Click here to read article — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 41%	Armageddon (1998)	" This is a tedious, tiresome embarrassment and is without question the worst movie I've seen in two years." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 25%	Sour Grapes (1998)	Click here to read article — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Fresh 61%	Babe: Pig in the City (1998)	Click here to read article — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 13%	Holy Man (1998)	" I love movies. I'd rather watch movies than do almost anything else. So if I write that I walked out on a movie, what could be a more clear statement?" — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 7%	Jawbreaker (1998)	" *Too dark to be funny and plagued by abyss-sized holes in the plot, slavish dialogue and sketch-quality acting, Jawbreaker* is a 15 minute idea stretched into a feature film.*" — SPLICEDWire* Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 37%	She's All That (1998)	" A completely common and utterly excruciating high school ugly duckling romance so grossly out of touch with the times that even the title is passe." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 18%	Turbulence (1997)	Click here to read article — SPLICEDWire Posted Aug 1, 2001
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 12%	Batman & Robin (1997)	" Nothing but a parade of obligatory one-liners and self-imposed cliches." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jul 24, 2001
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 13%	B.A.P.S. (1997)	" I do have some free advise for both Landau and Berry: Fire your agents." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Fresh 60%	Starship Troopers (1997)	" This flick wallows in just about every moth-ridden cliche known to the film industry and relies almost entirely on naked teenage girls and recycled special effects for what it deems excitement." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 28%	Black Sheep (1996)	" I've never wanted to run from a theater so much in my life." — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 12%	Striptease (1996)	Click here to read article — SPLICEDWire Posted Jan 1, 2000
Rotten 0.5/4	Rotten 7%	A Sound of Thunder (2005)	" A catastrophe of bad acting, ludicrous science and conspicuously cheap special effects that can't even follow its own internal logic from one scene to the next." — SPLICEDWire Posted Sep 1, 2005

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4/4	Masculin FemininOffsite
3.5/4	Million Dollar BabyOffsite
3/4	The Spongebob Squarepants MovieOffsite
2.5/4	Assault on Precinct 13Offsite
2/4	The Sea InsideOffsite
1.5/4	Enduring LoveOffsite
1/4	Be CoolOffsite
0.5/4	Son of the MaskOffsite
0/4	Alone in the DarkOffsite
w.5/4	Ong-Bak: The Thai WarriorOffsite

4/4	In the Mood for LoveOffsite
4/4	Turtles Can FlyOffsite
4/4	Masculin FemininOffsite
4/4	The AviatorOffsite
4/4	Goodbye Dragon InnOffsite
4/4	OutfoxedOffsite
4/4	Garden StateOffsite
4/4	The Saddest Music in the WorldOffsite
4/4	The Five ObstructionsOffsite
4/4	PromisesOffsite

ROB BLACKWELDER

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