Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 48%
| Dorian Gray (2010) | "
Parker's staging and direction are hopelessly inert; the orgy scenes are knocked off from Eyes Wide Shut, while the later movement into darkness looks (and sounds) like a cheap slasher movie." — Independent Posted Sep 11, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 59%
| The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009) | "
Interesting title, promisingly quirky subject, top-drawer cast such a duff movie." — Independent Posted Nov 6, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 12%
| Couples Retreat (2009) | "
If it were a send-up of couples therapy and its absurd language the film would at least be about something, but it hasn't even that much intelligence." — Independent Posted Oct 16, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Fresh 64%
| The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009) | "
It is a shame that Gilliam didn't settle for being an animator, because these squiggles of invention are so much more his forte than film directing." — Independent Posted Oct 16, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Fresh 94%
| Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee (2009) | "
Even with a short running time (71 mins) this scrappy, unendearing squib outstays its welcome." — Independent Posted Oct 9, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 17%
| Love Happens (2009) | "
What a title. Not that this crybaby romantic drama deserves much better." — Independent Posted Oct 9, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 0%
| The Spell (2009) | "
This Leeds-set occult mystery is made in so earnest and amateurish a style as to make the Children's Film Foundation look like Hitchcock." — Independent Posted Oct 4, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 10%
| My Life in Ruins (2009) | "
Might as well be called My Big Fat Greek Package Holiday." — Independent Posted Oct 4, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 4%
| Miss March (2009) | "
This "comedy" might be the Worst Movie Ever Seen, even with the aftershock of the Wayans Bros' Dance Flick still lingering." — Independent Posted Sep 11, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 23%
| Sorority Row (2009) | "
I'm not sure there's any point to this beyond an invitation to ogle teenage girls in their underwear, running and screaming." — Independent Posted Sep 11, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Fresh 87%
| 500 Days of Summer (2009) | "
I've read somewhere that (500) Days of Summer is being called the Annie Hall de nos jours; that's a slur on a great movie, not to say on nos jours." — Independent Posted Sep 4, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Fresh 68%
| Funny People (2009) | "
Vulgarity and sentimentality are set up in a fight to the death. I laughed a few times, mostly at Jonah Hill's nerdy but casual smarts." — Independent Posted Aug 29, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 29%
| The Final Destination (2009) | "
The film-makers' inventiveness with each death is at once camp and heartless; every scene is so heavily loaded with the potential for violent calamity that after a while one's cynical laugh turns to a weary "whatever..."" — Independent Posted Aug 29, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 18%
| Dance Flick (2009) | "
Fans of their Scary Movie and its sequels know what to expect, though perhaps even they will notice here a thinning in the comedy and a coarsening in its misogynist and homophobic riffs. Not an honest laugh in 90 minutes." — Independent Posted Aug 21, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 38%
| The Time Traveler's Wife (2009) | "
They've tried to cloak a very dull love story in pseudo-poetic significance. You might feel like disappearing yourself." — Independent Posted Aug 14, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 38%
| Imagine That (2009) | "
How would it be if Eddie Murphy quit making trashy, ingratiating comedies and grew up? Imagine that." — Independent Posted Aug 14, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 15%
| The Ugly Truth (2009) | "
What I hated most of all was the script , which smears these so-called insights into the sex wars with pointless (and witless) crudity. More depressing still, its written by three women." — Independent Posted Aug 7, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 37%
| G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009) | "
I was more excited by last weeks G-Force 3-D, if only because the guinea pigs give the better performances." — Independent Posted Aug 7, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 52%
| The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (2009) | "
Compare him with the gang-leader in the 1974 film, played by Robert Shaw as a tight-lipped, ice-cool killer, and Travolta starts to look like a joke." — Independent Posted Jul 31, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 26%
| Land of the Lost (2009) | "
It's a kind of cut-price Jurassic Park, with a support cast of gabbling monkeys and lizardish humanoids, and if they don't seem far-fetched you might believe Anna Friel as a Cambridge- educated scientist." — Independent Posted Jul 31, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 43%
| The Proposal (2009) | "
Another dagger in the back of romantic comedy." — Independent Posted Jul 24, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 14%
| The Informers (2009) | "
Director Gregor Jordan seems to have gone into reverse since his 2001 Buffalo Soldiers, aiming for the LA rondeau of Altman's Short Cuts but missing all the vital ingredients wit, humanity, charm, nuance and meaning." — Independent Posted Jul 17, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 23%
| Fired Up (2009) | "
A puerile, remedial class version of Wedding Crashers." — Independent Posted Jul 10, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 48%
| My Sister's Keeper (2009) | "
This medical-ethics drama is like a sustained assault on the tear ducts." — Independent Posted Jul 3, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Fresh 73%
| Rudo and Cursi (2009) | "
This tale of two brothers seems to be a comic satire on ambition, but the laughs are desperately hard to come by." — Independent Posted Jul 3, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 19%
| Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) | "
Fourteen-year-old boys will get their money's worth. This boring, preposterous nonsense is stretched to an agonising two-and-a-half hours." — Independent Posted Jun 19, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 43%
| Doghouse (2009) | "
If Shaun of the Dead is the gold standard of British zombie comedy, and Lesbian Vampire Killers is a tin-plated knock-off, then Doghouse must be ... Ratners." — Independent Posted Jun 12, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 19%
| Obsessed (2009) | "
Bunny boilers ahoy. This lame and laughable stalker-thriller makes Fatal Attraction look thoughtful." — Independent Posted May 29, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 28%
| 12 Rounds (2009) | "
Cena has neither the ease nor the appeal of Dwayne Johnson the one true Rock and the film's steroidal pastiche of 1990s thrillers (Speed and Die Hard with a Vengeance) is faintly embarrassing." — Independent Posted May 29, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 44%
| Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009) | "
It's still strictly insufferable." — Independent Posted May 22, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 36%
| Angels & Demons (2009) | "
Angels and Demons proves every bit as swollen and portentous as The Da Vinci Code. It is, however, nine minutes shorter than that film, so there's something to be grateful for." — Independent Posted May 15, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 32%
| The Uninvited (2009) | "
Yikes, or rather, yawn. Hokum factor 10." — Independent Posted Apr 24, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 28%
| Fast & Furious (2009) | "
"Ride or die, remember?" Er, not really, no. More like "Yawn and forget", as Nabokov once recommended. Only 13-year-old boys and Jeremy Clarkson could possibly enjoy this." — Independent Posted Apr 17, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 13%
| Dragonball: Evolution (2009) | "
A rather tame live-action sci-fi flick." — Independent Posted Apr 17, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 54%
| The Boat That Rocked (2009) | "
For a man who loves the raucous, ebullient pop of the 1960s, Curtis's own output has been terribly, terminally square. This latest is a new low: The Film That Sucked." — Independent Posted Apr 3, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 33%
| Knowing (2009) | "
The CGI is unconvincing, the big shock-and-awe finale is a throwback to the days of Deep Impact, and underneath it all is the nervous American insistence that there is life beyond the stars." — Independent Posted Mar 27, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 18%
| New in Town (2009) | "
We have to munch through a load of Capra-corn as she switches from corporate hatchet-woman to champion of local business. "You know, you're not so bad when you're unconscious," says Connick Jr of her. We could probably say the same of the scriptwriter." — Independent Posted Feb 27, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Fresh 61%
| Franklyn (2009) | "
Allow that director Gerald McMorrow's feature debut shows ambition in fusing psychodrama, fantasy and metropolitan romance. Sadly, coherence and comprehensibility have been left for dead." — Independent Posted Feb 27, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 23%
| Push (2009) | "
Sci-fi hokum to give you a headache." — Independent Posted Feb 20, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 23%
| Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009) | "
This sickening ode to consumerist greed comes just in time for the recession." — Independent Posted Feb 20, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 13%
| The Pink Panther 2 (2009) | "
This revisiting of Peter Sellers' Inspector Clouseau catapults Martin so far beyond the pale of authentic comedy that there can be no hope of return." — Independent Posted Feb 19, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 44%
| He's Just Not That Into You (2009) | "
A message to women: this movie is undermining and traducing your sex." — Independent Posted Feb 10, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 31%
| The Broken (2009) | "
This unbelievably ponderous British chiller keeps priming us for some shocking revelations oodles of "scary" incidental music, ominous shots of the London skyline and signally fails to deliver them." — Independent Posted Jan 30, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Fresh 86%
| The Baader Meinhof Complex (2009) | "
His approach has simply been to cram everything he knows about the Baader Meinhof years into a running time of two and a half hours. It is really the most unhelpful and unenlightening film on the subject you could possibly imagine." — Independent Posted Nov 14, 2008 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 51%
| Easy Virtue (2009) | "
Altogether a shambles, and perhaps uniquely in the Coward canon, it features not a single laugh." — Independent Posted Nov 7, 2008 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 57%
| Taken (2009) | "
The only puzzle of this toxically stupid Europhobe thriller is that its director (Pierre Morel) and producer (Luc Besson) are both French." — Independent Posted Sep 26, 2008 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 33%
| Wild Child (2009) | "
On balance, gouging one's eyeballs with a chopstick would be more fun than watching this crummy tween comedy about a Californian princess." — Independent Posted Aug 15, 2008 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 0%
| The Accidental Husband (2009) | "
A plot of insufferable silliness contrives to keep the lovers on tenterhooks and the audience in a permanent cringe, none of it helped by Thurman's thoroughly phony performance." — Independent Posted Feb 29, 2008 |
Rotten 1/5
| Rotten 32%
| Good (2008) | "
Mortensen isn't bad, though he looks merely absent-minded rather than anguished." — Independent Posted Apr 17, 2009 |
Rotten 1/5
| Fresh 77%
| Genova (2008) | "
I suspect the director was aiming for a sun-blessed version of Don't Look Now, but his ghost story conjures neither suspense nor intrigue." — Independent Posted Mar 27, 2009 |
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