|
1/5
|
17%
|
The Violent Kind (2011) |
"
Poorly scripted and confusingly plotted, it plays like a deranged demo reel."
—
Total Film
Posted Jul 6, 2011
|
|
1/5
|
10%
|
Age of the Dragons (2011) |
"
Sadly, any car-crash appeal is undercut by the cardinal B-movie sin: dullness."
—
Total Film
Posted Mar 3, 2011
|
|
1/5
|
38%
|
It's a Wonderful Afterlife (2010) |
"
This stodgy supernatural farce is riven with insoluble problems."
—
Flicks.co.nz
Posted Aug 25, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
8%
|
Mega Piranha (2010) |
"
We can ridicule every frame."
—
Total Film
Posted Jul 22, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
18%
|
Dance Flick (2009) |
"
As indignity and amateurishness battle for depressing precedence, Dance Flick becomes the comedy equivalent of torture porn, albeit with worse SFX and notably fewer laughs."
—
Film4
Posted Aug 24, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
48%
|
Doghouse (2009) |
"
Like going on a stag-do with people you hate, this beta-male bilge is far too Neanderthal to do much more than drag its knuckles on the ground and sniff the rears of other, better films."
—
Film4
Posted Jun 12, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
25%
|
Friday the 13th (2009) |
"
Among exceedingly stiff competition, this may well be the worst Friday ever. Hear that squelching noise? It's little Jason spinning in his watery grave."
—
Film4
Posted Feb 12, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
0%
|
Scar (2007) |
"
This nasty, witless and hopelessly dated effort is still a landmark release. Think of it like the first dog shot into space, but don't forget it is an absolute dog."
—
Film4
Posted Nov 7, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
24%
|
Awake (2007) |
"
Imagine it's a comedy and pray for the end."
—
Film4
Posted Apr 25, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
71%
|
The Cottage (2008) |
"
If there's a more depressing release this year then God help us all."
—
Little White Lies
Posted Mar 12, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
82%
|
Live Free or Die Hard (2007) |
"
Chasing the ghosts of past glories in the name of product allegiance, Die Hard 4.0 clatters noisily down the lift shaft into oblivion."
—
Film4
Posted Jul 6, 2007
|
|
|
55%
|
The Descent 2 (2009) |
"
At one point they even clamber over the corpses of the original film's victims to get to safety. It's not, on reflection, a bad metaphor for the entire enterprise."
—
Little White Lies
Posted Dec 4, 2009
|
|
1.5/5
|
10%
|
Dead Man Running (2009) |
"
Too dark and cumbersome as a comedy, too weak and unlikely as a drama, this retro Ritchie wannabe has an eye-catching cast but can't decide between the cartoon and the kitchen sink."
—
Film4
Posted Oct 30, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
31%
|
Man on a Ledge (2012) |
"
...depending on your levels of credulity - and blood alcohol - it might just pass muster as a late-night six-pack flick."
—
Flicks.co.nz
Posted May 17, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
35%
|
Battleship (2012) |
"
Misguided in the extreme. A scene in which Kitsch and co aim blindly for the broadest of targets - and miss by miles - proves painfully apt."
—
Total Film
Posted Apr 11, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
25%
|
Act of Valor (2012) |
"
If the politics are simplistic - think Team America - the performances (by real, anonymous SEALs) are even more so."
—
Total Film
Posted Mar 12, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
25%
|
Killer Elite (2011) |
"
Far more than just another Transporter clone, and far less than the sum of its parts, the result is an oddity you couldn't make up."
—
Flicks.co.nz
Posted Feb 16, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
31%
|
Man on a Ledge (2012) |
"
Dumber than its title and less exciting than its poster, this spectacularly silly thriller starts with a sky-high concept and soon plummets towards preposterousness."
—
Total Film
Posted Jan 23, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
36%
|
In Time (2011) |
"
A grown-up sci-fi idea suffering from a severe case of arrested (script) development, In Time plays like Equilibrium without the fights, or Total Recall without the fun."
—
Total Film
Posted Nov 1, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
30%
|
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011) |
"
Despite its self-awareness, and the central performance, this is still a grubby hack job about a grubby whack-job whacking off grubbily."
—
Total Film
Posted Nov 1, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
50%
|
Sket () |
"
A film that, for all its grit and attitude, lacks sufficient cred."
—
Total Film
Posted Oct 31, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
71%
|
Hanna (2011) |
"
...most of the time Wright simply throws everything he can think of at the screen like the promo director he used to be. Great soundtrack, though."
—
Flicks.co.nz
Posted Sep 14, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
22%
|
3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy (2011) |
"
This softcore grot epic has to be seen to be believed - or maybe not, if your sexual politics are more sophisticated than Sid James'."
—
Total Film
Posted Aug 30, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
17%
|
The Art of Getting By (2011) |
"
Though woozily shot and well acted, embracing Gavin Wiesen's low-key coming-of-ager depends on whether you find its hero a self-important prick."
—
Total Film
Posted Aug 25, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
62%
|
Villain (Akunin) (2010) |
"
Like early Haneke without the intellectual rigour but enlivened with beautiful moments of realisation, it's a film that becomes harder to take the more it sides with its "sensitive" star."
—
Total Film
Posted Aug 3, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
0%
|
World of the Dead: The Zombie Diaries 2 (2011) |
"
Zombies can't keep diaries, but if they did they'd be pretty repetitive, something Kevin Gates and Michael Bartlett's ambitious sequel to their 2006 DV horror could also be accused of."
—
Total Film
Posted Jun 9, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
47%
|
Mother's Day (2012) |
"
Mommie dreariest."
—
Little White Lies
Posted Jun 9, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
73%
|
Machete (2010) |
"
All set up and no punchline."
—
Little White Lies
Posted Nov 29, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
13%
|
The Final (2010) |
"
Is the world ready for a Columbine-inspired horror? Not one as crass as this, that's for sure."
—
Total Film
Posted Aug 19, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
67%
|
The Karate Kid (2010) |
"
Although the ever-reliable Chan's on hand to dispense hard-won wushu wisdom, Harold Zwart's awkward update brings little else to the ring. "
—
Flicks.co.nz
Posted Jul 28, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
67%
|
Daybreakers (2010) |
"
Iffy plotting, squiffy dialogue and directorial indecision - is this po-faced science fiction or hokey horror? - leave the film, like its protagonist, torn between two extremes."
—
Total Film
Posted Jan 8, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
84%
|
Ip Man (2010) |
"
Man's extraordinary biography makes for an awkward, inauthentic-feeling biopic."
—
Total Film
Posted Oct 4, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
60%
|
A Perfect Getaway (2009) |
"
Before you can say 'plot hole', the mood shifts from boredom to disbelief as a crazy-assed climax erupts from nowhere - a memorably mental end to an otherwise exasperating trip."
—
Total Film
Posted Aug 14, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
15%
|
Year One (2009) |
"
Twenty times longer than its (excellent) trailer, and with about the same number of decent jokes, this underachieving effort boasts another brilliant Michael Cera performance, plus Jack Black licking a turd. Or is he polishing it?"
—
Total Film
Posted Jul 3, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
42%
|
The Last House on the Left (2009) |
"
This clanging cover version believes in nothing, not even its own nihilism, and the horrors it portrays leave us colder, but not wiser."
—
Little White Lies
Posted Jun 12, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
12%
|
The Unborn (2009) |
"
Brazen in its borrowings and alternating between cynicism and silliness, this is a creatively barren effort that should have been stopped at conception."
—
Film4
Posted Feb 27, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
58%
|
Taken (2009) |
"
A woeful script that wastes a wonderful leading man, this is a film that doesn't care about anything. At the end of 93 minutes, neither will you."
—
Film4
Posted Sep 26, 2008
|
|
2/4
|
0%
|
Shank (2010) |
"
That the entire narrative can be easily compressed into a 90-second dream sequence says much more than the garbled anti-violence messages."
—
Total Film
Posted Mar 25, 2010
|
|
2/4
|
55%
|
Perrier's Bounty (2010) |
"
There are flecks of wit and charm to be found in here, but really it all boils down to second-rate Ritchie."
—
Total Film
Posted Mar 25, 2010
|
|
3/5
|
92%
|
She Monkeys (Apflickorna) (2011) |
"
[It] may sound like a pocket-fiddler's dream, but proves rather sweeter than its synopsis."
—
Total Film
Posted May 10, 2012
|
|
3/5
|
41%
|
Dark Shadows (2012) |
"
One of the strangest mainstream releases of recent times, Dark Shadows' demented gothic melodrama/fish-out-of-water comedy/creature feature feels like you've slipped into a Burton fever-dream."
—
Total Film
Posted May 10, 2012
|
|
3/5
|
78%
|
A Dangerous Method (2011) |
"
...Knightley's histrionic performance verges on the embarrassing."
—
Flicks.co.nz
Posted Apr 26, 2012
|
|
3/5
|
70%
|
The Monk () |
"
It's a while before Cassel fully embraces his dark side, yet his customary charisma is what seals The Monk's redemption."
—
Total Film
Posted Apr 18, 2012
|
|
3/5
|
25%
|
The Divide (2012) |
"
Gens' impressively grim film has points to make about post-9/11 militarism, but you get the sense that humanity disgusts him so much he'd rather leave his characters to the roaches."
—
Total Film
Posted Apr 10, 2012
|
|
3/5
|
100%
|
Atmen (Breathing) (2011) |
"
Thoughtfully shot by first-time director Karl Markovics, the only warmth comes from the stiffening cadavers."
—
Total Film
Posted Apr 9, 2012
|
|
3/5
|
76%
|
Rampart (2012) |
"
Moverman's plummeting psychological profile shows great taste but poor judgement - the wonderful cast and convincing plot sacrificed in service of the exceptional Harrelson."
—
Total Film
Posted Jan 30, 2012
|
|
3/5
|
65%
|
The Woman in Black (2012) |
"
This unashamedly old-fashioned ghost story benefits from Radcliffe's committed performance and Watkins' willingness to do anything for a scare."
—
Total Film
Posted Jan 25, 2012
|
|
3/5
|
72%
|
Carnage (2011) |
"
A four-way of furious awkwardness played with consummate skill."
—
Total Film
Posted Jan 23, 2012
|
|
3/5
|
67%
|
Junkhearts () |
"
It's an impressive two-hander about sensitive souls facing stark realities - the lovers who life forces to become fighters."
—
Total Film
Posted Nov 3, 2011
|
|
3/5
|
68%
|
Tower Heist (2011) |
"
An entertaining but uptight comedy that strains to match the throwaway fizz of the Ocean's movies."
—
Total Film
Posted Nov 2, 2011
|
62%
——
97%
