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Critics / Michael Elliott / Worst
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  • Official Websites:
    Movie Parables

MICHAEL ELLIOTT

""The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." (The Usual Suspects)"

Agrees with the Tomatometer 73% of the time.

Biography: Since 1998, Michael Elliott has been reviewing films from a unique perspective. Using a combination of spiritual insight and film appreciation, Mr. Elliott's reviews not only critique the artistic elements of a film, they also use that film as an illustration of the eternal truths which God has made known to us through His Word. Graduating from college with a theater arts degree, he has continued to follow the movie industry as this exciting art form progressed from trend to trend. In the early 1990’s, he began what was to evolve into a passion for biblical research. From his steadfast belief that the Bible, as the Will of God in written form, can and should be applied to our daily living, Movie Parables was devised. Mr. Elliott's reviews have been published or quoted by organizations or publications such as The Baptist Messenger, The Minneapolis Christian Chronicle, Crosswalk.com, Christianity Today, and The Canyon News among others. His reviews have also been accepted within the secular film community. He is a member of The Online Film Critics Society and his reviews often appear alongside secular reviewers at Rotten Tomatoes, and The Movie Review Query Engine. Mr. Elliott lives in Orlando, Florida with his wife. You may contact him by writing to the following address: Movie Parables 722 E Amelia St Orlando, FL 32803 or via e-mail:ccritic@bellsouth.net

Publications: Christian Spotlight on the Movies, Movie Parables

Total Reviews: 1351
Total QuickRatings: 21

Location: Orlando, FL

WORST REVIEWED FILMS

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  • Worst
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# a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres
Showing 1 - 0 of 103
Previous | Next
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date (default)

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
48%

Jackass: The Movie (2002)

" If nothing else, the title is an example of truth in advertising (except it should be plural)." — Movie Parables

Posted Oct 27, 2002

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
14%

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

" We can only pray that this time around, the box office will be poor enough to discourage a Scary Movie III." — Movie Parables

Posted Jul 3, 2001

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
11%

Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

" Not content with pushing the envelope of taste, Green decides to simply take a bulldozer to the whole post office. " — Movie Parables

Posted Apr 17, 2001

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
45%

The Cell (2000)

" Of all the places to visit, there is nothing quite as unappealing as a trip into the mind of a seriously sick serial killer." — Movie Parables

Posted Feb 14, 2001

Rotten
0/4

Fresh
74%

Quills (2000)

" No matter how well-crafted, well-acted, or well-written a script may be, one cannot completely ignore the fact that the subject matter is odious." — Movie Parables

Posted Feb 7, 2001

Rotten
0/4

Fresh
82%

The War Zone (1999)

" This is one depressing film and it will leave its mark on those who choose to watch it." — Movie Parables

Posted Oct 29, 2003

Rotten
0/4

Fresh
89%

Boys Don't Cry (1999)

Click here to read article — Movie Parables

Posted Mar 21, 2001

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
47%

Cruel Intentions (1999)

Click here to read article — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 1, 2000

Rotten
0/4

Fresh
80%

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

Click here to read article — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 1, 2000

Rotten
0/4

Fresh
80%

Fight Club (1999)

" As artistically fascinating as the movie may be, the spiritual sickness that it depicts is, at the very least, distasteful." — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 1, 2000

Rotten
0/4

Fresh
97%

All About My Mother (1999)

" The film provides strong roles for a number of actresses who make full use of them." — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 1, 2000

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
38%

The Big Hit (1998)

Click here to read article — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 1, 2000

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
50%

The Object Of My Affection (1998)

Click here to read article — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 1, 2000

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
48%

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Click here to read article — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 1, 2000

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
48%

Small Soldiers (1998)

Click here to read article — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 1, 2000

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
17%

Dirty Work (1998)

Click here to read article — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 1, 2000

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
21%

Practical Magic (1998)

Click here to read article — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 1, 2000

Rotten
.5/4

Rotten
23%

Torque (2004)

" Who knew that it would be possible to "dumb down" 2 Fast 2 Furious?" — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 14, 2004

Rotten
.5/4

Rotten
0%

Pinocchio (2002)

" Once the 50 year old Benigni appears as the title character, we find ourselves longing for the block of wood to come back." — Movie Parables

Posted Dec 27, 2002

Rotten
.5/4

Rotten
19%

National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)

" If you have something better to do, like re-grout the shower tiles, opt for the grout." — Movie Parables

Posted Apr 3, 2002

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
26%

Waist Deep (2006)

" I don't know what the characters/actors of Waist Deep are waist deep in - but it sure doesn't smell like petunias." — Movie Parables

Posted Jun 25, 2006

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
40%

Running Scared (2006)

" Are the cliches intentionally designed to be funny or is this just laughably bad? If you have to ask... it's the latter." — Movie Parables

Posted Feb 23, 2006

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
16%

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

" Correct me if I am wrong but doesn't the word evolution suggest that something must grow or develop into something else?" — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 23, 2006

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
14%

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)

" As enjoyable as a flat tire and moves along about as smoothly." — Movie Parables

Posted Aug 13, 2005

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
10%

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)

" There's no saving this piece of Euro-trash." — Movie Parables

Posted Aug 13, 2005

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
10%

Elektra (2005)

" She may have returned from the dead but this Elektra has little life in it." — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 13, 2005

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
56%

Ocean's Twelve (2004)

" An over-padded, sleep-inducing bore." — Movie Parables

Posted Dec 9, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
16%

Alexander (2004)

" A flaw-filled epic treatment that may do more to destroy the conqueror's legend than all the armies he once opposed." — Movie Parables

Posted Nov 24, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Fresh
78%

Team America: World Police (2004)

" Their sole point seems to be... to rub their so-called cleverness in the face of the MPAA." — Movie Parables

Posted Oct 14, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
0%

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)

" Needs less genius in front of the camera and more behind it." — Movie Parables

Posted Aug 28, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
14%

Without A Paddle (2004)

" Not only is it missing an oar, there's a huge leak in this boat." — Movie Parables

Posted Aug 19, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Fresh
73%

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (2004)

" When Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, they offer no good reason for us to accompany them." — Movie Parables

Posted Jul 29, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
26%

The Stepford Wives (2004)

" "Perfect doesn't work." I would have settled for competent." — Movie Parables

Posted Jun 12, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
30%

Chronicles of Riddick (2004)

" Writers demonstrating such incredible lack of imagination and inventiveness should not be working in the realm of science fiction." — Movie Parables

Posted Jun 11, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
19%

Soul Plane (2004)

" Instead of laughing with the actors, I found myself feeling sorry for them." — Movie Parables

Posted May 26, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
4%

The Whole Ten Yards (2004)

" Proof that, sometimes, going the extra yard can be a big mistake." — Movie Parables

Posted Apr 8, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
6%

Johnson Family Vacation (2004)

" [Cedric the Entertainer] deserves better. For that matter, so do we." — Movie Parables

Posted Apr 6, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
16%

The Big Bounce (2004)

" Bounce? This film barely moves." — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 28, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
4%

My Baby's Daddy (2004)

" Segments of this film... are totally "cringe-worthy." No directorial slight of hand... helps to assuage the discomfort these scenes evoke." — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 9, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
34%

In the Cut (2003)

" In The Cut is a gruesome murder mystery awash in sexuality, nudity, profanity, graphic violence, and more red herrings than can be found at the local fish market." — Movie Parables

Posted Oct 30, 2003

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
37%

Scary Movie 3 (2003)

" Even though it is an improvement over the other Scary Movies, it remains a silly, silly film where the attempts at comedy miss as often as they hit." — Movie Parables

Posted Oct 29, 2003

Rotten
1/4

Fresh
69%

Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)

" A confusing bore of a movie." — Movie Parables

Posted Sep 17, 2003

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
43%

DysFunKtional Family (2003)

" The laughs may come, though not as frequently nor as raucously as the on screen audience would lead us to believe." — Movie Parables

Posted Apr 3, 2003

Rotten
1/4

Fresh
72%

Auto Focus (2002)

" A film involving characters about whom we don't care performing acts which we don't care to see." — Movie Parables

Posted Nov 3, 2002

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
25%

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

" To be oblivious to the existence of this film would be very sweet indeed." — Movie Parables

Posted Apr 11, 2002

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
10%

Slackers (2002)

" [The film's] taste for "shock humor" will wear thin on all but those weaned on the comedy of Tom Green and the Farrelly Brothers." — Movie Parables

Posted Jan 31, 2002

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
28%

Not Another Teen Movie (2001)

" While there are a few amusing details... these moments are few and sandwiched between large sections of tedium and twaddle." — Movie Parables

Posted Dec 14, 2001

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
12%

Original Sin (2001)

" Original Sin is hardly original and the sin is one of omission. The filmmakers have omitted logic and any semblance of rational thought or motivation." — Movie Parables

Posted Aug 4, 2001

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
19%

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

" Highly anticipated, highly disappointing, and patently ridiculous." — Movie Parables

Posted Jun 14, 2001

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
33%

Just Visiting (2001)

" Even with so much borrowed from the original, something was definitely lost in the translation." — Movie Parables

Posted Apr 12, 2001
Results for All Genres
Showing 1 - 0 of 103
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Best to Worst Sampling

Best to Worst Sampling

4/4

Pride and PrejudiceOffsite

3.5/4

Harry Potter and the Goblet of FireOffsite

3/4

King KongOffsite

2.5/4

The Legend of ZorroOffsite

2/4

Yours, Mine, & OursOffsite

1.5/4

Just FriendsOffsite

1/4

Underworld: EvolutionOffsite

Best Reviewed

Best Reviewed

4/4

RatatouilleOffsite

4/4

Amazing GraceOffsite

4/4

World Trade CenterOffsite

4/4

Walk the LineOffsite

4/4

Pride and PrejudiceOffsite

4/4

Cinderella ManOffsite

4/4

Finding NeverlandOffsite

4/4

The Polar ExpressOffsite

4/4

HeroOffsite

4/4

Riding GiantsOffsite

More…

Worst Reviewed

Worst Reviewed

0/4

The War ZoneOffsite

0/4

Jackass: The MovieOffsite

0/4

Scary Movie 2Offsite

0/4

Freddy Got FingeredOffsite

0/4

Boys Don't CryOffsite

0/4

The CellOffsite

0/4

QuillsOffsite

0/4

The Big HitOffsite

0/4

The Object Of My AffectionOffsite

0/4

Fear and Loathing in Las VegasOffsite

More…

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