|
0/4
|
——
|
Stay the Same Never Change (2009) |
"
Shines a light on an artist's prurient, shamelessly exploitative, and attention-grabbing instincts."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Mar 27, 2009
|
|
0/4
|
13%
|
College Road Trip (2008) |
"
College Road Trip hurts more than just the eyes and ears, it wreaks havoc on one's humane sensibilities."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Mar 6, 2008
|
|
0/4
|
——
|
A Broken Sole (2007) |
"
A Broken Sole is a bad movie, worse theater."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Oct 26, 2007
|
|
0/4
|
29%
|
Trade (2007) |
"
Trade has cojones for trying to lay the kind of political guilt trip it does on us with its sham aesthetics and lurid telenovela-writ-large storyline."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Oct 19, 2007
|
|
0/4
|
33%
|
The Phantom of the Opera (2005) |
"
Like overpriced costume jewelry, this tasteless, soulless contraption is sure to appeal to anyone who owns Celine Dion and Meatloaf albums."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Dec 11, 2004
|
|
0/4
|
11%
|
A Cinderella Story (2004) |
"
If some films are made to order, the market-researched A Cinderella Story has the stretch marks to prove it."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jul 12, 2004
|
|
0/4
|
15%
|
Sleepover (2004) |
"
Sleepover will do for tween girls what Max Keeble's Big Move did for prepubescent boys: get them beat up at school."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jul 7, 2004
|
|
0/4
|
23%
|
Bad Boys II (2003) |
"
Michael Bay's latest jingoistic fetish film, Bad Boys II, could be the most vile creation to come out of Hollywood since Patch Adams."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jul 14, 2003
|
|
0/4
|
41%
|
K-PAX (2001) |
"
Tailor-made for the K-Mart sect, K-PAX is a weepy regression fantasy for the psychologically half-conscious."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Oct 18, 2001
|
|
0/4
|
40%
|
Pay It Forward (2000) |
"
Sanctimonious drivel."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted May 2, 2001
|
|
9/100
|
33%
|
H.O.T.S. (1979) |
"
Think Animal House meets the Revenge of the Nerds and you have the essence of H.O.T.S.' plot."
—
Apollo Guide
Posted Jul 25, 2001
|
|
.5/4
|
27%
|
Jesus Henry Christ (2012) |
"
The title alone invites you to cuss at this smug film about family tites, and you may do so the second you catch a whiff of the portentous first shot: a Wes Anderson put-on. "
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Apr 30, 2012
|
|
.5/4
|
11%
|
Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil (2011) |
"
Despite ample proof to the contrary, Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil was not written by the punaholic Carrie Bradshaw. "
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Apr 24, 2011
|
|
.5/4
|
34%
|
The Wolfman (2010) |
"
Would that Joe Johnston's The Wolfman were spectacularly awful, then it would have been at least a fun time at the movies."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Feb 10, 2010
|
|
.5/4
|
17%
|
The Last Legion (2007) |
"
A depressing pageant of bad dialogue, uninspired sword fights, corny getaways, and loads of completely unintentional sexual innuendo."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Aug 16, 2007
|
|
.5/4
|
7%
|
Bratz: The Movie (2007) |
"
The storyline is almost too easy to rag on, what with its almost complete incoherence and dead-serious evocation of Mean Girls by way of McNamara's own Raise Your Voice."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jul 28, 2007
|
|
.5/4
|
5%
|
Because I Said So (2007) |
"
Welcome to the rom-com in the age of Must Love Dogs."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jan 30, 2007
|
|
.5/4
|
33%
|
Poseidon (2006) |
"
Poseidon recognizes and encourages belief in the popular popcorn-movie theory of The Survival of the Whitest."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted May 8, 2006
|
|
.5/4
|
45%
|
Final Destination 3 (2006) |
"
A reminder of how low a filmmaker will sink to pander to our most corrupt tendencies."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Feb 8, 2006
|
|
.5/4
|
35%
|
Memoirs of a Geisha (2005) |
"
More like Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey's Memoirs of a Geisha."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Dec 3, 2005
|
|
.5/4
|
6%
|
Supercross (2005) |
"
A Clear Channel shill."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Aug 12, 2005
|
|
.5/4
|
6%
|
Chaos (2005) |
"
Where's the lesson here? Don't let your kids out of the house? Don't ask for Ecstasy from strange men in the woods?"
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jul 27, 2005
|
|
.5/4
|
34%
|
Must Love Dogs (2005) |
"
To paraphrase some hackerish blurb I just heard on the shill-y E! network: Must Love Dogs is in the doghouse."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jul 24, 2005
|
|
.5/4
|
52%
|
Secuestro Express (2005) |
"
Immoral and aesthetically bankrupt, Secuestro Express allows first-time director Jonathan Jakubowicz to exploit and sell out his Venezuelan culture."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jul 14, 2005
|
|
.5/4
|
41%
|
Hål i mitt hjärta, Ett (A Hole In My Heart) (2004) |
"
Moodysson doesn't use this borrowed aesthetic to study what's on his plate; he's just out to cause a scene."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Apr 9, 2005
|
|
.5/4
|
13%
|
Hide and Seek (2005) |
"
An elaborate equation consisting entirely of bad horror tropes and trashy psychological symbolism."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jan 25, 2005
|
|
.5/4
|
42%
|
Palindromes (2004) |
"
Solondz fancies himself a spokesman for the socially oppressed but does to celluloid what future serial killers of the world do to butterfly wings."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Oct 11, 2004
|
|
.5/4
|
10%
|
Friday the 13th Part VIII - Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) |
"
Director Rob Hedden may have been onto something: From Crystal Lake to Manhattan, the series itself was always drowning in ****. "
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Sep 25, 2004
|
|
.5/4
|
14%
|
Without A Paddle (2004) |
"
Add Steven Brill's Without a Paddle to that id-grinding pig-pile that includes Sorority Boys and the American Pie films."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Aug 13, 2004
|
|
.5/4
|
——
|
The Iron Ladies 2 (Satree lek 2) (2004) |
"
Queens living on Castro and Christopher streets will lap this up, but isn't this kind of we-are-family minstrel comedy getting kind of old?"
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jun 14, 2004
|
|
.5/4
|
71%
|
Napoleon Dynamite (2004) |
"
For those who think there'e nothing funnier than yokels acting like idiots for 90 minutes straight."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jun 2, 2004
|
|
.5/4
|
15%
|
Garfield - The Movie (2004) |
"
Strictly for those who didn't want to crawl into the fetal position and die when Shaggy grew breasts in Monsters Unleashed."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Apr 19, 2004
|
|
.5/4
|
61%
|
Saved! (2004) |
"
This is a film that sees only in black-and-white."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Apr 15, 2004
|
|
.5/4
|
34%
|
The United States of Leland (2004) |
"
Sundance twaddle of the highest degree."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Mar 1, 2004
|
|
.5/4
|
75%
|
House of Sand and Fog (2003) |
"
The war between America and the Middle East is in full metaphoric force in Vadim Perelman's ridiculous eviction melodrama House of Sand and Fog."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Nov 26, 2003
|
|
.5/4
|
9%
|
The Order (The Sin Eater) (2003) |
"
Blood in. Blood out. Eye roll."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Nov 25, 2003
|
|
.5/4
|
15%
|
Gothika (2003) |
"
Bless Penelope Cruz's Spanish little heart (not to mention her right tear duct) that she can wail a line like "He opened me like a flower of pain" without busting a gut."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Nov 19, 2003
|
|
.5/4
|
10%
|
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003) |
"
Sans the original's entire creative life force, it shouldn't come as a surprise that this "prequel" allows the lame gross-out to trump all romantic poignancy."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jun 7, 2003
|
|
.5/4
|
9%
|
Darkness Falls (2003) |
"
Its unbearably loud and witless disposition conjures images of studio heads wanting to numb young test audiences into submission."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jan 18, 2003
|
|
.5/4
|
13%
|
Ghost Ship (2002) |
"
Not only is the film's boo-yah opening sequence derivative of Beck's 13 Ghosts, so are all the music video tableau morts and cheesy one-liners."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Oct 21, 2002
|
|
.5/4
|
7%
|
Dragonfly (2002) |
"
Possibly the most maudlin horror film ever made, Dragonfly spells out its scares and faith-speak as if it were lecturing from atop Mt. Sinai."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Feb 19, 2002
|
|
.5/4
|
14%
|
Crossroads (2002) |
"
Sexless Britney is also blasé Britney and Crossroads might as well be a dry-hump through a Baby-Sitters Club book."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Feb 12, 2002
|
|
15/100
|
0%
|
Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990) |
"
This world, geographically located anywhere between Miami and Bogota, is full of lots of rotting cheese."
—
Apollo Guide
Posted Jun 12, 2002
|
|
19/100
|
——
|
A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (1990) |
"
This lacklustre effort is a disappointment even to its B-movie predecessors."
—
Apollo Guide
Posted Jul 24, 2001
|
|
1/5
|
24%
|
Even Money (2006) |
"
The story is scarcely grounded in the mechanics of real-world expression."
—
Los Angeles Times
Posted May 18, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
20%
|
Dead Silence (2007) |
"
The movies have always asked us to suspend our disbelief, but Dead Silence demands our ignorance of its own derivations. A conflation of the horror genre's laziest tropes, plot angles and shorthands."
—
Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 20, 2007
|
|
1/4
|
0%
|
Deadline (2012) |
"
By the end of it, you'll be crying uncle--or wish you were watching The Help instead. At least that was a more artful lie."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Apr 8, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
42%
|
Silent House (2012) |
"
Silent House dies a sudden and egregious death when the amateur players in Olsen's company, Adam Trese and Eric Sheffer Stevens, as her character Sarah's father and uncle, respectively, open their traps."
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Mar 4, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
19%
|
Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer (2011) |
"
Wait a sec, does anyone, other than M.I.A. perhaps, rely so heavily and stridently as Judy does on an acronym-heavy parlance?"
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Jun 7, 2011
|
|
1/4
|
25%
|
Now & Later (2011) |
"
Shrilly over-written and artlessly directed by Philippe Diaz, and with the same presumptuousness he brought to the documentary The End of Povery?"
—
Slant Magazine
Posted Feb 13, 2011
|
67%
——
98%
