|
1/5
|
12%
|
W.E. (2012) |
"
What an extraordinarily silly, preening, fatally mishandled film this is."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 1, 2011
|
|
1/5
|
0%
|
Swinging With The Finkels (2011) |
"
Short of having a urethral swab or inserting a cucumber up yourself, it's hard to imagine a more queasy form of torture than this dismal British sex comedy - about a man who has a urethral swab and a woman who inserts a cucumber up herself."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Jun 16, 2011
|
|
1/5
|
40%
|
Life Goes On (2010) |
"
It wobbles from familial tensions to tearful reconciliations, soft-focus to slow-motion, monologues to musical numbers."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Mar 10, 2011
|
|
1/5
|
45%
|
Confucius (2010) |
"
Its constant bowing and scraping set my teeth on edge. Confucius loves Confucius -- endlessly and unconditionally -- and flatly demands that we do too."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 23, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
10%
|
Grown Ups (2010) |
"
If root canal surgery feels too childish a torment, may we direct your attention to this ghastly celebrity roast in the guise of a boisterous family comedy."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Aug 26, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
21%
|
Amelia (2009) |
"
A tinny and barnacled affair, showcasing a peculiarly awful performance from Hilary Swank."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Nov 13, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
0%
|
The Baker () |
"
The normally wonderful Kate Ashfield bags a supporting slot as Milo's love interest only to spend the film's climax ruthlessly gagged with a strip of gaffer tape. Given the state of the dialogue, this is probably for the best."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Oct 8, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
0%
|
Spell () |
"
A bewilderingly awful horror film."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Oct 4, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
20%
|
Obsessed (2009) |
"
Idris Elba, so good in The Wire, looks a long way from Baltimore in this overcooked Fatal Attraction-style yarn about a cocksure executive laid low by the office temp."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted May 29, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
52%
|
Martyrs (2008) |
"
You may well feel in need of a shower after sitting through Martyrs, a slick essay in Gallic torture porn."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Mar 27, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
22%
|
Push (2009) |
"
In time this would-be thriller comes to rest with a fist fight, a hanging ending and the implicit promise of a sequel. Of all the calamities that Fanning predicts, Push 2 is one she missed."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Feb 20, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
11%
|
Bride Wars (2009) |
"
Our deepest condolences to Hudson as the ironically named "Liv". Her dead eyes and rouged cheeks suggest she's bypassed the wedding and gone straight to the funeral."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Jan 9, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
14%
|
The Spirit (2008) |
"
Frank Miller's adaptation of the antique comic strip by Will Eisner is brash, noisy and so alarmingly ill-paced that it should, by rights, come with a software package that allows viewers to recut it as they see fit."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Jan 5, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
19%
|
Meet Dave (2008) |
"
There's a delicious irony to the way in which this supposedly heartwarming comedy gives the impression of having itself been devised by a race of extra-terrestrials with only a tentative grasp of what constitutes heart or humour."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Oct 18, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
10%
|
Free Jimmy (Slipp Jimmy fri) (2006) |
"
Free Jimmy is a sledgehammer Norwegian animation that metes out all manner of cruelty to dumb animals, not least the ones in the audience."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Oct 17, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
58%
|
Taken (2009) |
"
What a slick, dubious, morally bankrupt movie this is."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 26, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
25%
|
Botched (2008) |
"
Botched is bungled - irredeemably, at times even enjoyably, so."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Apr 18, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
11%
|
Pathfinder (2007) |
"
Imagine a heavy metal album cover come suddenly to life and you pretty much have the measure of Pathfinder."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 22, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
53%
|
Eagle vs. Shark (2007) |
"
You don't have to be a schoolyard bully to find yourself longing to administer swift, vicious wedgies to the nerdish inhabitants of this kitsch Kiwi excursion."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Aug 17, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
66%
|
Snow Cake (2006) |
"
If Rickman these indignities like a man with his mind on other things, he's probably just shell-shocked by the antics of his co-star. Weaver's performance is so extravagantly awful, you can't take your eyes off it."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 23, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
6%
|
Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) |
"
Raja Gosnell's direction follows the first rule of slapstick: If actor stuck with nothing to do, have them fall in vat of goo."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Apr 1, 2006
|
|
|
43%
|
The Human Stain (2003) |
"
It is a well-dressed, good-looking wax dummy of a film."
—
Sight and Sound
Posted Mar 2, 2004
|
|
|
85%
|
About Schmidt (2002) |
"
Ultimately this is a frustrating patchwork: an uneasy marriage of Louis Begley's source novel (About Schmidt) and an old Payne screenplay."
—
Sight and Sound
Posted Jan 7, 2003
|
|
|
9%
|
The Skulls (2000) |
"
Through pure mismanagement, The Skulls bungles a rich seam of material."
—
Sight and Sound
Posted Dec 2, 2002
|
|
|
19%
|
The Beach (2000) |
"
In pitching for the mass market, Boyle's film has allowed itself to be rebranded as a Hollywood star vehicle, a cynical assemblage that is never more than the sum of its market-researched parts."
—
Sight and Sound
Posted Dec 2, 2002
|
|
|
72%
|
Snatch (2001) |
"
What we have here is a gaudy mess. At times it feels like it's being made up as it goes along."
—
Sight and Sound
Posted Dec 2, 2002
|
|
|
25%
|
Gone in 60 Seconds (Gone in Sixty Seconds) (2000) |
"
What makes such threadbare character development all the more insulting is that Gone in Sixty Seconds has assembled a war chest of acting talent and then let it idle."
—
Sight and Sound
Posted Dec 2, 2002
|
|
|
40%
|
Vanilla Sky (2001) |
"
An alienating portrait of alienation, a study of hollow lifestyles and phoney dreams that sometimes feels hollow and phoney itself."
—
Sight and Sound
Posted Feb 5, 2002
|
|
2/5
|
27%
|
After The Battle (Baad El Mawkeaa) () |
"
The last shot is dynamite: a poetic crawl up the edge of a pyramid, rising in agonising, mesmerising degrees with seemingly no end in sight. The rest, however, is but a long, hard trudge."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted May 17, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
90%
|
How To Re-establish A Vodka Empire () |
"
A glorified sales presentation with one eye on the Waitrose deal. I didn't buy it."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Mar 15, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
71%
|
X: Night of Vengeance (2011) |
"
Hewitt's pungent early scenes of Oz's underbelly have a certain crystal-meth intensity, but the buzz can't last, and the film starts to wilt."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Jan 19, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
43%
|
That Girl in Yellow Boots (2011) |
"
The yarn flounders under a crush of declamatory dialogue, sheds its plumage in an overheated final act and no amount of delirious closeups of Koechlin's lovely face (shot by her director husband, Anurag Kashyap) can restore its sheen."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Dec 1, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
75%
|
The Adventures of Tintin (2011) |
"
While the big set pieces are often exuberantly handled, the human details are sorely wanting. Hergé achieved more expression with his use of ink-spot eyes and humble line drawings than a bank of computers and an army of animators were able to achieve"
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Oct 16, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
78%
|
Red White & Blue (2010) |
"
Dim the lights and raise the heat for this sputtering Texas noir, liberally spiced with strip-malls and pool-halls."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 29, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
60%
|
Guilty Of Romance (Koi No Tsumi) (2011) |
"
One gets the sense the director has become so enamoured the details that he's lost sight of the destination.."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 29, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
45%
|
Soul Surfer (2011) |
"
The film that follows is thin and frothy, though watch out for that final sentimental upsurge. It could drag and lift you against your will."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 22, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
59%
|
Atrocious (2011) |
"
The kids are screaming and the camera joggles us to the point of nausea but, at the end, the film's big reveal is just a cheap, dull shimmer."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 15, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
17%
|
I Don't Know How She Does It (2011) |
"
For a film ostensibly concerned with the mess and tumult of modern life, I Don't Know How She Does It presents some pretty pat solutions."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 15, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
71%
|
Dark Horse (2012) |
"
There is little in the film's pitch-black interior that wasn't tackled better - with more bite, wit and abandon - in Happiness, Welcome to the Dollhouse, or Storytelling."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 5, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
78%
|
A Dangerous Method (2011) |
"
A Dangerous Mind feels heavy and lugubrious. It is a tale that comes marinated in port and choked on pipe-smoke."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 2, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
23%
|
Conan the Barbarian (2011) |
"
Here is a tale in which battle sequence spawns battle sequence and where the dialogue is rendered all-but unintelligible under the din of clashing steel and the screams of the mutilated."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Aug 24, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
38%
|
Beautiful Lies (Full Treatment)(De vrais mensonges) (2011) |
"
Only Sami Bouajila, playing the bemused, overeducated handyman-in-the-middle, emerges with his dignity relatively intact."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Aug 11, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
14%
|
Huge () |
"
Goes behind the scenes of the open-mic circuit where it proceeds to trip over the cables and get tangled in the curtains."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Jul 7, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
85%
|
Tracker (2011) |
"
The scenery is glorious, but the movie's a hard slog all the same."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Apr 28, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
26%
|
Arthur (2011) |
"
A thin, insipid and oddly flavourless brew. Drink it responsibly. Better yet, don't drink it at all."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Apr 15, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
50%
|
Little White Lies (2012) |
"
Unspools as glossy, high-grade tosh, a sun-dappled Big Chill, without the rigour or insight required to make you care about these people and wonder which bed they will eventually wind up in."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Apr 14, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
20%
|
The Rite (2011) |
"
Hopkins' wild ham acting helps raise the deadening atmosphere and prick the mood of pomposity. What he can't do, sadly, is save his co-star."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Feb 24, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
——
|
Nothing To Declare (Rien à déclarer) () |
"
Nothing must enter and nothing must exit, and this winsome, complacent affair wears its isolationist badge with pride."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Feb 10, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
86%
|
Get Low (2010) |
"
Aaron Schneider's southern folk tale comes slathered in corn syrup, oozing its way towards a climax that's not so much big reveal as dying whimper."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Jan 20, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
76%
|
Amer (2010) |
"
For all its gloss and panache and giddying crash zooms to the keyhole, Amer is finally little more than a prolonged tease of a movie; provocation without a purpose."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Jan 6, 2011
|
67%
——
98%
