Rotten 0/4
| Rotten 15%
| The Spirit (2008) | "
It's not easy to make a thriller that's both incredibly convoluted and intensely boring, laboriously narrated yet befuddled, but Miller -- creator and co-director of Sin City -- triumphs on all counts." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Dec 29, 2008 |
Rotten 0/4
| Rotten 0%
| One Missed Call (2008) | "
The deadliest call the cast and crew of One Missed Call ever received was the one from their agent telling them that this was the best work available." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Jan 4, 2008 |
Rotten 0/4
| Rotten 19%
| The Invasion (2007) | "
The Invasion is a science fiction nightmare, the spectacle of actors who can do first-rate work trapped in a soul-destroying mechanism created by madmen." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Aug 16, 2007 |
Rotten 0/4
| Rotten 8%
| I Know Who Killed Me (2007) | "
The film is so cheap, lurid and overwrought it could be made up of lost reels from Grindhouse, except it lacks the knowing, self-referential humor of that B-movie parody." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Jul 27, 2007 |
Rotten 0/4
| Rotten 1%
| Alone in the Dark (2005) | "
If you took the 100 worst ideas ever conceived for a science-fiction film, rattled them around in a Lotto tumbler and spilled them out onto the screen at random, you could not produce a more asinine hodgepodge than Alone in the Dark." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Jan 27, 2005 |
Rotten 0/4
| Rotten 46%
| Eurotrip (2004) | "
Eurotrip gives smut a bad name." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Feb 19, 2004 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 21%
| Next Day Air (2009) | "
A fiasco. A flop. A failure's failure. Next Day Air aims low but still misses the target." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted May 7, 2009 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 52%
| Allah Made Me Funny (2008) | "
No, he didn't." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Oct 2, 2008 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 36%
| Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007) | "
Instantly forgettable except that it contains the worst performance of Dustin Hoffman's long and illustrious career." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Nov 15, 2007 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 11%
| Pathfinder (2007) | "
Loud and overbusy but never exciting, Pathfinder is an action film only insofar as airborne prop heads and severed appendages equal action." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Apr 12, 2007 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 8%
| The Number 23 (2007) | "
It's so cheesy that it's almost transcendent." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Feb 22, 2007 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 19%
| The Hitcher (2007) | "
The screenplay disastrously rewrites the original's climax, turning Bush's college waif into an indestructible female Terminator who can unerringly fire a police-issue riot gun and kick a steel paddy-wagon door off its hinges." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Jan 19, 2007 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 27%
| Tideland (2006) | "
The literal train wreck that caps the film is an apt metaphor for this hallucinatory fiasco." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Nov 2, 2006 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 3%
| The Covenant (2006) | "
Movies like this are why we have eyelids." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Sep 13, 2006 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 4%
| The Celestine Prophecy (2006) | "
Believer and skeptic alike can agree on one thing: It is a transcendentally awful movie." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted May 25, 2006 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 9%
| See No Evil (2006) | "
It might be hard to imagine a career move that is a step down from directing porn videos, yet Gregory Dark has accomplished just that with his feature-film debut, See No Evil." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted May 23, 2006 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 57%
| Drawing Restraint 9 (2006) | "
Moby ick." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted May 18, 2006 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 49%
| The Hills Have Eyes (2006) | "
Using considerable creative intelligence and millions of dollars with no purpose other than profit by inspiring bloodlust is monstrous." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Mar 9, 2006 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 20%
| Doom (2005) | "
Too often Doom is mindless entertainment minus the entertainment." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Oct 20, 2005 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 18%
| Domino (2005) | "
Here is a movie so bad it's ... no, actually it's still bad." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Oct 13, 2005 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 13%
| The Cave (2005) | "
Ten things I learned watching The Cave. 1. 'Beneath heaven lies hell. Beneath hell lies the cave.' 2. Beneath that lies the theater showing The Cave." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Aug 25, 2005 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 44%
| The Brown Bunny (2004) | "
So mind-numbingly dull it makes you yearn for one of those World War II-spy instant-death pills." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Sep 30, 2004 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 31%
| The Forgotten (2004) | "
The warped yardstick by which this year's stinkers will be measured." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Sep 23, 2004 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 49%
| De-Lovely (2004) | "
What worse hell could a showman endure than a tin-eared procession of his greatest hits?" — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Jul 15, 2004 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 22%
| Van Helsing (2004) | "
More and more summer movies depend on relentless action sequences at the expense of coherent narrative, but Van Helsing might be the first whose overkill reaches nuclear capacity." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted May 6, 2004 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 12%
| New York Minute (2004) | "
As sterile and devoid of personality as a mall parking lot." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted May 6, 2004 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 29%
| The Punisher (2004) | "
In this by-the-numbers payback melodrama, even the explosions seem half-hearted." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Apr 15, 2004 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 23%
| Cheaper by the Dozen (2003) | "
You don't so much watch this witless, charmless, pointless fiasco as sit hostage, waiting for it to end." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Dec 25, 2003 |
Rotten 0.5/4
| Rotten 6%
| Gigli (2003) | "
A perfect storm of cinematic awfulness." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Jul 31, 2003 |
Rotten .5/4
| Rotten 33%
| Johnny English (2003) | "
A tedium torture test produced with little money and less comic know-how." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Jul 17, 2003 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 45%
| Jennifer's Body (2009) | "
It's a serviceable premise, but the execution fails on almost every level." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Sep 17, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 6%
| All About Steve (2009) | "
While Bullock is often cast as the kook you want to hug, here she is a nut you want to run away from." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Sep 3, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 18%
| The Marc Pease Experience (2009) | "
The film is an all-you-can-eat buffet of mediocrity. A spiraling vortex of boredom. A deflated Whoopee cushion." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Aug 21, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 13%
| Spread (2009) | "
It's hard to know where to begin on how awful this is." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Aug 13, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Fresh 93%
| Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! (2009) | "
Tarantino's enthusiasm notwithstanding, backstage gossip about movies of no importance is enough to bore even certified film geeks." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Aug 13, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 26%
| The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (2009) | "
The movie gores many sacred cows, insulting families, capitalism, sexual responsibility, political correctness and smoking bans, with glee if not originality." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Aug 13, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Fresh 60%
| Paper Heart (2009) | "
Your appreciation for this shaggy dog project will probably depend on your enjoyment of Yi as a screen presence." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Aug 7, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Fresh 93%
| Summer Hours (2009) | "
While the ideas are worth considering, director Olivier Assayas moves the story at an escargot's pace, and the characters are gossamer thin." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Jun 5, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Fresh 63%
| The Brothers Bloom (2009) | "
The leads have zero comedic skills, but you can tell they're being funny because they all wear sarcastic hats." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted May 22, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 40%
| The Limits of Control (2009) | "
This interminable trifle from indie icon Jim Jarmusch aims to be the last word in ironic cool, but it comes across as the work of a fatigued dilettante." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted May 14, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 27%
| Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009) | "
Douglas, radiating an arid narcissism, does look as if he was recently exhumed. Whether this is a deliberate makeup choice or unfortunate lighting is hard to guess." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Apr 30, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 36%
| X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) | "
A crude blunderbuss of a superhero movie, X-Men Origins: Wolverine proves that the greatest supervillains confronting Marvel Comics' shape-shifters, lycanthropes and mind-readers are clumsy directors and sloppy screenwriters." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Apr 30, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 14%
| The Informers (2009) | "
TMZ with phony gravitas. Ellis' stories had more oomph before drug-crazed screwups like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse became the center of the Internet news cycle." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Apr 23, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 41%
| Fighting (2009) | "
It's all footnotes, hardly any main story, and overcompensates by jacking up the violence." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Apr 23, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Fresh 80%
| Serbis (2009) | "
You have been advised; proceed accordingly." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Apr 9, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 35%
| Alien Trespass (2009) | "
Alien Trespass, an affectionate tribute to flying saucer movies, treats the clichés of drive-in sci-fi with touching naïveté. So why isn't it more fun?" — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Apr 2, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 28%
| Fast & Furious (2009) | "
Everything that happens here happened in the three previous chapters -- and in Cannonball Run, for that matter." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Apr 2, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 33%
| Knowing (2009) | "
The resolution of the mysterious visitors' mission and John's crisis of faith feels more like an excuse to stage some hellacious cataclysms than the product of a genuine belief in anything at all." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Mar 19, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Fresh 64%
| Watchmen (2009) | "
Watchmen bites off more than a single film can chew, and chokes on its gluttony." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Mar 5, 2009 |
Rotten 1/4
| Rotten 13%
| The Pink Panther 2 (2009) | "
Recycling bins have fresher content than this listless exercise in check-the-boxes moviemaking." — Minneapolis Star Tribune Posted Feb 6, 2009 |
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