Critics » Gareth J. Von Kallenbach » Rotten

Gareth J. Von Kallenbach

"Do Unto Others as you would have done unto you."

Agrees with the Tomatometer 62% of the time.

Biography:
Syndicated film reviewer and creater of Skiewed and Reviewed. I also write for several Gaming publications as well as setup Lan events and software sales. I have been known to speak at Sci Fi cons as well aabout upcoming films. I have a Masters Degree, and enjoy music, sports, movies, shopping, and so much more.
Favorites:
Too many to list. Star Wars series Terminator Series The Classics. And so on...
Publications:
Ain't It Cool Movie Reviews , CineScene.com , Film Threat , Lee's Movie Info , Mediasharx , Movie Eye , Movie Insider , Movie-Vault.com , MovieFreak.com , Moviehole , MovieWeb , RopeofSilicon , Rotten Tomatoes , Skewed and Reviewed
Total Reviews:
638
Total QuickRatings:
186
Location:
Seattle, WA

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 604
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
0.5/5 17% Queen of the Damned (2002) " Tom Cruise had the good sense to stay away from reprising his role of Lestat in this film." — Film Threat
Posted Dec 6, 2005
0.5/5 17% Queen of the Damned (2002) " Sadly, it seems that someone thought they could make a buck by releasing one of Aaliyah's last works and have given audiences a film that is insensitive to her passing and is easily one of the worst I have seen." — Movie Eye
Posted Feb 26, 2002
1/5 8% 10,000 B.C. (2008) " When the CGI Mammoths are the best actors in a film, you know you are in for trouble. This is easily, one of the worst studio films of the last five years." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Mar 7, 2008
1/5 11% The Cave (2005) " Not only is "The Cave" a bad film, it is a total waste of time, talent, and money and easily one of the worst films of the year." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Aug 26, 2005
1/5 74% War of the Worlds (2005) " In a summer season of grand blockbusters, "War of the Worlds" is perhaps the biggest dud in years, and is a failure of epic proportions" — MovieWeb
Posted Jun 28, 2005
1/5 25% Bewitched (2005) " Not only is a great cast wasted, but Bewitched is so Painfully Bad, it is almost unwatchable." — Movie Insider
Posted Jun 23, 2005
1/5 60% The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) " Cheap sets, bad effects, zero cast chemistry and terrible pacing result in a letdown for fans and a disaster that may have the Late Douglas Adams spinning in his grave." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Apr 28, 2005
1/5 20% The Ring Two (2005) " Sadly the Ring franchise has become an imitator rather than an innovator and this effort will leave fans in the cold. " — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Mar 18, 2005
1/5 10% The Wedding Date (2005) " Somewhere along the way, a good concept for a film went horribly wrong, as "The Wedding Date" is a cliché filled effort that is lacking heart and warmth, leaving you wanting." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Feb 3, 2005
1/5 56% Ocean's Twelve (2004) " Shoddy, dull and pointless, this film is easily one of the worst films in recent memory." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Dec 9, 2004
1/5 7% Surviving Christmas (2004) " This is one gigantic Turkey that you will not want to survive as this is easily the worst holiday film in years." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Oct 28, 2004
1/5 15% Garfield - The Movie (2004) " A dreadful mess that is so bad, it makes The Cat in the Hat look good by comparrison." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Jun 10, 2004
1/5 4% Godsend (2003) " Simply put, Godsend is God Awful." — Lee's Movie Info
Posted Apr 30, 2004
1/5 2% Twisted (2004) " A who dunnit that will leave you saying who cares." — Lee's Movie Info
Posted Feb 27, 2004
1/5 29% Club Dread (2004) " This is one Dreadful mess that drags the worn out premise to the point of annoyance." — Movie-Vault.com
Posted Feb 27, 2004
1/5 30% Malibu's Most Wanted (2003) " The title should have read Malibu's Least Wanted as I can't imagine anyone wanting to be associated with this Turkey." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Apr 15, 2003
1/5 30% Dreamcatcher (2003) " The early favorite for worst film of 2003 is here, and its named Dreamcatcher." — Lee's Movie Info
Posted Mar 18, 2003
1/5 37% Behind Enemy Lines (2001) " This film was so uninspired and bad, it is difficult to find anything positive to say about it." — Film Threat
Posted Dec 8, 2002
1/5 13% The Super Mario Bros. (1990) Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Jul 30, 2002
2/5 35% Battleship (2012) " you'll find far more thrills and enjoyment busting out the actual Battleship game than sitting through the film." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted May 18, 2012
2/5 11% Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil (2011) " You won't be missing anything by skipping this film at the box office. It might be worth a rental when it comes out on DVD, but you and your family can still live a full and satisfying life without it." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Apr 29, 2011
2/5 26% Arthur (2011) " The film definitely fails to live up the original in many ways, but still contains enough surprises to pull itself out of the disaster it was headed toward. " — Film Threat
Posted Apr 8, 2011
2/5 37% Angels & Demons (2009) " It's not pretty, it's not engaging and it's not interesting. Unless you were a huge fan of the original and of the book." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted May 15, 2009
2/5 61% Valkyrie (2008) " The promise of the film becomes weighed down by Cruise and a script that plays a bit too loose with historical events for my taste." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Dec 25, 2008
2/5 8% Premonition (2007) " The film has a good premise, but falls fast thanks to plot holes, and stiff performances by the two leads." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Mar 16, 2007
2/5 33% Flyboys (2006) " As it stands, the best thing going for the film are the flightsequences but the slow pacing, numerous clichés and bland characterskeeps "Flyboys" grounded." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Sep 22, 2006
2/5 70% Mission: Impossible III (2006) " The film starts well but quickly becomes lost in a myriad of plot holes, loose ends, and action sequences that are both underwhelming and few and far between." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted May 5, 2006
2/5 18% Grandma's Boy (2006) " A good premise is wasted in a sea of repetitive drug jokes and a far to few funny moments." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Jan 6, 2006
2/5 40% Vanilla Sky (2001) " My suggestion is to avoid this film and instead rent Open Your Eyes (Abre Los Ojos) the film upon which Vanilla Sky was based." — Film Threat
Posted Dec 6, 2005
2/5 57% The Interpreter (2005) " Devoid of any real chemistry between Penn and Kidman, the film soon becomes a slow, dull and plodding effort that is far below the sum of the talents behind it." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Apr 22, 2005
2/5 15% Miss Congeniality 2 - Armed and Fabulous (2005) " A very sad and tired effort that seems to have been created to cash in on the sucess of the first, yet offers nothing new or fresh." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Mar 30, 2005
2/5 13% Hide and Seek (2005) " "Hide and Seek" teases you with an interesting premise and then gives audiences a conclusion that is straight from the Drama 101 textbook and a dozen better films." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Jan 27, 2005
2/5 23% Fat Albert (2004) " A dull and plodding film that stretches way beyond the limits of tolerance for anyone over 12." — RopeofSilicon
Posted Dec 27, 2004
2/5 16% Alexander (2004) " From the terrible camera work, bad casting, and awful pacing, Stone has done what no Army on Earth could do, defeat Alexander." — Skewed and Reviewed
Posted Nov 24, 2004
2/5 45% The Day After Tomorrow (2004) " The Day After Tomorrow is a Chilling Mess that is so devoid of any real entertainment value that it sets the disaster film genre back to the Ice Age." — Lee's Movie Info
Posted May 27, 2004
2/5 23% Van Helsing (2004) " What could have been a solid film is rendered lifeless and should be left to fester in a sealed tomb." — Movie Eye
Posted May 6, 2004
2/5 44% Connie And Carla (2004) " Better luck next Time Nia, Connie and Carla is a real drag." — Lee's Movie Info
Posted Apr 15, 2004
2/5 81% Hellboy (2004) " Perlman does his best, but the script and direction by Guillermo del Torro is so stagnate that many of the jokes and action sequences fall painfully flat." — Lee's Movie Info
Posted Apr 1, 2004
2/5 19% Clean Slate (1994) Movie Eye
Posted Feb 24, 2004
2/5 23% Dickie Roberts - Former Child Star (2003) " A few laughs, but the film drags on and comes across as a 5 minutes sketch that is dragged to a feature length, and well past the point of the material being funny." — Movie Insider
Posted Sep 3, 2003
2/5 46% Cherry Falls (2000) Movie Eye
Posted Jul 30, 2003
2/5 30% Color of Night (1994) Movie Eye
Posted Jul 30, 2003
2/5 —— Seedpeople (Seed People) (1992) Movie Eye
Posted Jul 30, 2003
2/5 —— Mutilator () Movie Eye
Posted Jul 30, 2003
2/5 58% The Funhouse (Carnival of Terror) (1981) Movie Eye
Posted Jul 30, 2003
2/5 29% Student Bodies (1981) Movie Eye
Posted Jul 30, 2003
2/5 15% Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood (1996) Movie Eye
Posted Jul 30, 2003
2/5 0% Slugs (1987) Movie Eye
Posted Jul 30, 2003
2/5 24% Superman III (1983) Movie Eye
Posted Jul 30, 2003
2/5 0% Father Hood (1993) Movie Eye
Posted Jul 30, 2003
Showing 1 - 50 of 604
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