Rotten
| Rotten 28%
| Pandorum (2009) | "
Veering between alarmist adventure on other planets and assault on viewer senses here at home, the claustrophobic cinematic terrorism seems to come awfully close to wielding a movie as a deadly weapon up on the screen." — NewsBlaze Posted Dec 28, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 74%
| The Young Victoria (2009) | "
Victoria's Secrets: Octomom plus one party animal who wears the pants, or rather crown in the family, and later for Charles Dickens." — NewsBlaze Posted Dec 21, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 79%
| A Woman in Berlin (2008) | "
The suffering of these Berlin women, however tragic, is decontextualized from the infinitely greater crimes against humanity's millions by Germany at the time, which in fact was responsible for their fate." — NewsBlaze Posted Dec 18, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 97%
| The Hurt Locker (2009) | "
A kind of 'Dr. Strangelove: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb' - but for real, this movie ain't kidding. Hurt Locker: War means never having to say you're sorry." — NewsBlaze Posted Dec 9, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 38%
| My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done? (2009) | "
Both baffling and mystifying, the film details a descent into madness with God in a boombox, worshipped oatmeal boxes, and the designated lunatic's proclaimed mantra, minus reference to any white whale though flamingos may be implicated, as Call Me Farouk" — NewsBlaze Posted Nov 26, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 28%
| The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) | "
Ferocious werewolves suppressing their inner humans, up to no good undocumented undead illegally crossing borders for no reason than as possible filler, and sexy vampires that make panting girl hearts flutter and swoon across America." — NewsBlaze Posted Nov 24, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 72%
| The Blind Side (2009) | "
While terrorism thrillers may be high on Hollywood's to-do list lately, movies about escape from the rumored terrors of ghetto life by unusually large people, may not be far behind." — NewsBlaze Posted Nov 23, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 63%
| New World Order (2009) | "
New World Order essentially offers nothing 'new' on the topic, nor displays any concrete 'order' in structuring its haphazard collage of hit and run gotcha moments." — NewsBlaze Posted Nov 7, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 55%
| Disney's A Christmas Carol (2009) | "
This Carol has a worse identity crisis than Scrooge. Clinging to the novel, the film tries to break out of its insular theatrics to propel Scrooge and his supernatural helpmates into outer space, as if in takeoff into a different sci-fi comic book movie." — NewsBlaze Posted Nov 3, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 92%
| Precious: Based on the Novel PUSH by Sapphire (2009) | "
Baby Mama Dearest minus the coat hangers and Hollywood mansion, this bad parenting horror movie boasts exceptional performances, but is social pornography at its worst, festering in racial self-loathing and oblivious to a system that ignores its neediest." — NewsBlaze Posted Nov 2, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 37%
| Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009) | "
Serving up a cartoonish vampire du jour, Cirque Du Freak aims for a defanged preteen-friendly middle ground between hip and undead creepy. There are glimpses into vampire culture, like the art of flitting, which seems to be akin to let's boogie, man." — NewsBlaze Posted Oct 24, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 32%
| The Burning Plain (2009) | "
This undocumented north of the border crossing in reverse romantic drama, likewise crosses borders in a kind of Americanization of the telenovela, with mixed results." — NewsBlaze Posted Sep 27, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 89%
| Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired (2008) | "
The film's verdict is that Polanski is too distinguished to persecute by placing him in a prison among, well, criminals. Wanted And Desired: A premeditated act of propaganda in the service of exoneration with a creative genius defense, instead of remorse." — NewsBlaze Posted Sep 27, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 50%
| Antichrist (2009) | "
A self-flagellating sexorcist weepie employing arty gore, and dubious New Age therapeutic kinky when not satanic sex remedies. And hopefully no animals or human genitals were harmed in the making of this movie." — NewsBlaze Posted Sep 24, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 77%
| The Informant! (2009) | "
Damon's too-tame-to-tantalize narrative voiceover throughout is monotonous, in an absurdist scam-within-a scam eavesdropper noir that needed more dramatic clout. And less lighthearted humor and a darker thrust, in keeping with this twisted subject matter." — NewsBlaze Posted Sep 20, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 44%
| Jennifer's Body (2009) | "
What's all wrong here, is that this girl bonding and binging horror spree isn't funny enough, or sufficiently scary when it's supposed to be. Though Megan's teen fanboys should have their satisfied fill, especially those who crave babes with bite." — NewsBlaze Posted Sep 17, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 49%
| Taking Woodstock (2009) | "
This Borsht Belt turned Bacchanalian screen memoir suffers from persistent peripheral vision of a historic moment, while dulling the senses with an overload of housekeeping details. Not exactly a bad trip, but in no way a time travel contact high." — NewsBlaze Posted Aug 29, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 90%
| District 9 (2009) | "
Artsy vertigo, racial profiling from outer space, black on prawn violence, Nigerian gangsters into cannibalistic health food diets, and inter-species creature sex for sale. And no, I did not have sex with that alien." — NewsBlaze Posted Aug 14, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 18%
| Spread (2009) | "
Ashton Kutcher's stud for sale does a glum gigolo making sex look like awfully hard work, while his current high price tag prey Anne Heche checks into a hospital for genital rejuvenation, don't ask." — NewsBlaze Posted Aug 13, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 14%
| The Ugly Truth (2009) | "
Turning up once again as a neurotic, upwardly mobile and oddly gorgeous but luckless in love television drone, Heigl seems most challenged, not with figuring out men, but pretending that she's not capable of roping one in." — NewsBlaze Posted Jul 23, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 86%
| Tony Manero (2009) | "
A distortion of the historical record that is irresponsible and reprehensible. And a display of deplorable disregard by the director as irreverent whim for irreverence's sake, for the many who suffered and perished from Pinochet's crimes against humanity." — NewsBlaze Posted Jul 2, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 66%
| Public Enemies (2009) | "
An action-heavy thriller so consistently barebones and lacking in any truly subversive thrust, and with mere peripheral vision of the historical moment, that the guns and clothes have more personality than the people." — NewsBlaze Posted Jul 1, 2009 |
Rotten
| N/A | The Human Contract () | "
Laced with a lush, foreboding sense of noirish upscale LA surroundings, but excessively detailed too much information hot sex on the menu and little psychological insight going on above character collarbones." — NewsBlaze Posted Jun 26, 2009 |
Rotten
| N/A | The Human Contract (2009) | "
Laced with a lush, foreboding sense of noirish upscale LA surroundings, but excessively detailed too much information hot sex on the menu and little psychological insight going on above character collarbones." — NewsBlaze Posted Jun 26, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 20%
| Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) | "
Terrorist toys take center stage with humans pretty much sticking around as scenery papering the screen, especially Megan Fox as sci-fi eye candy." — NewsBlaze Posted Jun 25, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 15%
| Year One (2009) | "
Black's biggest idiot in the village, overly flirty heathen turned moronic messiah tries to hunt and gather copious hairy bodied babes who really know how to stroke their spears, while a shackled Cera pees upside down through his collar." — NewsBlaze Posted Jun 20, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 43%
| The Proposal (2009) | "
Hinging on the far fetched premise that if you put two people with zero chemistry in a room together long enough, they'll inevitably fall in love with each other, the movie is stolen away by Oscar Nunez's multi-tasking paunchy male stripper grocery clerk." — NewsBlaze Posted Jun 18, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 51%
| The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (2009) | "
The movie might leave audiences feeling a lot like hostages themselves, at the hands of the director. Who seems to have a bit of a contact high with all the grating noise, grit and funk of runaway trains. Somebody needed to put the brakes on this guy too." — NewsBlaze Posted Jun 11, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 66%
| Away We Go (2009) | "
Too much information bedrooms, and vibes that may encourage skipping parenthood altogether for those who haven't quite made up their minds yet. And a pro-isolationist impression that the grass is always greener on one's own side of the picket fence." — NewsBlaze Posted Jun 4, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 77%
| The Hangover (2009) | "
A geek bonding guy movie just as easily titled, I Love You, Men, this in-your-face grossout about grown males in pursuit of living out their wannabe vice junkie daydreams badly, detours into beyond crude humor more often sour than sweet." — NewsBlaze Posted Jun 4, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 25%
| Land of the Lost (2009) | "
Boasts a lewd monkey man fond of fondling human private parts without permission, apparently not a felony in prehistoric times, boob sign language chuckles, Tyrannosaurus tongue baths, and moments of humor that seem to arrive centuries apart." — NewsBlaze Posted Jun 3, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 18%
| Downloading Nancy (2008) | "
More downer than downloading, in search of an online kinky rendezvous with the grim reaper. Which is apparently just a mouse click away in chatrooms these days, who knew. Adventures in self-mutilation, and sexing up assisted suicide in cyberspace." — NewsBlaze Posted Jun 1, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 32%
| Terminator Salvation (2009) | "
Endless rounds of boisterous battle scenes and eardrum annihilating explosions, until you couldn't care less which side wins. So if there's any real human passion rising to the surface amid the rubble, it's all about the guns, baby." — NewsBlaze Posted May 24, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 11%
| What Goes Up (2009) | "
Duff and the other young actors should not be faulted for the adults around them, both in the movie and behind the cameras. They excel at projecting the confusion and anguish of students in crisis, and all deserve an A. The filmmakers are another matter." — NewsBlaze Posted May 23, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 18%
| Dance Flick (2009) | "
Pooling together all their funny business DNA, the Wayans tribe goes for the jugular with its down 'n dirty trademark humor, while barely clinging to a PG-13 rating." — NewsBlaze Posted May 22, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 44%
| Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009) | "
Stiller's still stuck in the first movie, with little to impress beyond some hi-tech wizardry. I See Dead Props, along with a story that could have used some pick me up too. And with artifacts gone wild, as the museum cross-pollinates with Toys R Us." — NewsBlaze Posted May 19, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 36%
| Angels & Demons (2009) | "
Plucked eyeballs, Catholic jihad, swiped secrets of living matter, and egghead metaphysical sleuths without a clue." — NewsBlaze Posted May 17, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 76%
| Outrage (2009) | "
The media is accused of a vast conspiracy to keep these politicans closeted, and without a shred of evidence. So the drive to name names stops here, while ridiculing the wives caught up in these at times manufactured scandals, as gullible buffoons." — NewsBlaze Posted May 10, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 63%
| The Brothers Bloom (2009) | "
This sibling revelry smackdown sting defeats its own elaborate cinematic narrative scheme, by failing to take itself seriously when ensuing dramatic events scream for it to do so." — NewsBlaze Posted May 8, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 24%
| Little Ashes (2009) | "
A strictly genius guy thing billed as historical fantasy, as this trio of high IQ party animal sexaholics, among them a defanged low testosterone Pattinson as Dali, frolic at a college resembling an antique Animal House." — NewsBlaze Posted May 7, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 36%
| X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) | "
Jackman to fans: Butt Out, in this trendy new fangled XXX-Men Chippendales style nudie watch-men package pageant on screen, where amnesiac icon fever rules while expecting the rest of us to excel at memory recall about whatever came before." — NewsBlaze Posted May 3, 2009 |
Rotten
| N/A | Lying (2006) | "
A bleak excursion into poor little rich girl with entirely too much money turf, oddly combining disapproval and awe towards unconvincing post-teen heads of sumptuous McMansion households." — NewsBlaze Posted May 2, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 39%
| The Limits of Control (2009) | "
This subversion of the classic film noir, rather than conjuring air so thick you could cut it with a knife, is instead so thin that the lack of substance may simply send you into a drowy state. The Limits of Control, or rather the limits of patience." — NewsBlaze Posted Apr 30, 2009 |
Rotten
| Fresh 72%
| Julia (2008) | "
Swinton masterfully pours much more than her heart into her drunken damsel in distress performance in this gin drenched drama. But the audience is unfortunately left to languish without a clue, as to how she ended up that way and who she may be when sober" — NewsBlaze Posted Apr 30, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 27%
| Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009) | "
A get even sex addiction comedy, with some quickie laughs, that retools the basics of A Christma Carol, but comes off like a commitment challenged Scrooge on Viagra. And what's with the PG-13, is this meant as a manual for underage two-timers in training?" — NewsBlaze Posted Apr 30, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 19%
| Obsessed (2009) | "
Bottle blonde sexpot in heat with boundary issues on McMansion home invasion spree, with alpha male power as the ultimate female aphrodisiac. All that's missing is the stained blue dress. I did not have sex with that woman, she had sex with me." — NewsBlaze Posted Apr 26, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 55%
| The Soloist (2009) | "
American Idol meets Brother From Another Planet and Beethoven for dummies. What's missing is any recognition of the impact of poverty and racism on homelessness and mental illness, or why any of it exists in supposedly the most prosperous nation on earth." — NewsBlaze Posted Apr 22, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 50%
| Notorious (2009) | "
While it's now less a case of race than class in black film, Notorious seems to still be taking tabloid cues more from alien ghetto underclass drama and what's come before, rather than bringing new and improved insight to the table beyond the cool music." — NewsBlaze Posted Apr 11, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 55%
| Lymelife (2009) | "
A less lymelife than lowlife combo predatory insect and human lurid split level burb noir, where at one point two entirely separate set of sex partners nearly catch each other in the act simultaneously. Scorecard, please." — NewsBlaze Posted Apr 4, 2009 |
Rotten
| Rotten 28%
| Fast & Furious (2009) | "
High speed designer fleet crash 'em up border wars lined with hottie wallpaper, that's pretty much same shenanegans, different day. And without benefit of border patrol agents, passports or speeding tickets." — NewsBlaze Posted Apr 2, 2009 |
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