Critics » Steve Schneider » Rotten
Steve Schneider

Steve Schneider

Agrees with the Tomatometer 75% of the time.

Publications:
Orlando Weekly
Critics' Group:
Florida Film Critics Circle
Total Reviews:
728

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 724
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
0/4 48% Big Trouble (2002) " A wearisome stab at screwball comedy." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 4, 2002
1/5 7% Bratz: The Movie (2007) " Our heroines set out to prove to the school that it's just as important to pick your BFFs on the basis of shared shopping practices. Calling that a positive spin takes some serious ballz -- as does trapping Jon Voight in his most embarrassing role..." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Aug 2, 2007
1/5 22% The Quiet (2006) " I can't think of a human activity I'd recommend less than watching this hackneyed, straining-to-be-lurid domestic drama." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Aug 31, 2006
1/5 24% Lady in the Water (2006) " Never has the evidence been so clear that a once-promising director has gone completely insane, yet seldom has said proof been so all-fired dull." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Jul 27, 2006
1/5 25% House of Wax (2005) " Forty-five minutes of stultifying boredom, followed by preposterous carnage pilfered from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 12, 2005
1/5 76% Crash (2004) " Audiences everywhere are about to find out how abominably off-putting an extended diatribe masquerading as an ensemble drama can be." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 6, 2005
1/5 21% Uncle Nino (2003) " The characters are all clichés, the dialogue is abominable and every story point is radioed so far in advance that it should come with its own motorcade." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Feb 11, 2005
1/5 1% Alone in the Dark (2005) " Utterly lost by its end, you can just sit back and let yourself be hijacked by the movie's outrageous dialogue, hyperventilating performances and all-around commitment to overkill." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Feb 3, 2005
1/5 —— The Movie Hero (Frame of Mind) (2003) " A hopelessly dorky exercise in popcorn-munching reflexivity." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Dec 21, 2004
1/5 19% She Hate Me (2004) " There's something in here to offend humans of any background or predilection, all of it unleavened by the humor or storytelling skill that might make it halfway palatable." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Sep 2, 2004
1/5 10% Catwoman (2004) " A cynical and taxing trip through a thoroughly artificial world of obnoxious action, empowerment cliches, R&B cross-marketing and teeth-gnashing asides." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Jul 22, 2004
1/5 11% New York Minute (2004) " If there was any doubt that this Olsen twins vehicle would be targeted directly at the dirty old men of the Internet who know just how many days remain before the gals turn 18, it evaporates minutes into the flick." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 7, 2004
1/5 22% Torque (2004) " High-octane, low-IQ outing." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Jan 16, 2004
1/5 23% Cheaper by the Dozen (2003) " It's ostensibly a remake of the 1950 Walter Lang comedy, though latter-day audiences will detect a far greater kinship to an early episode of The Brady Bunch with twice the brats." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Dec 25, 2003
1/5 36% The Visual Bible: The Gospel of John (2003) " Its literal nature swiftly proves to be the three-hour movie's undoing, with every last syllable of the text spoon-fed to us as dialogue or narration." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Nov 7, 2003
1/5 28% It Runs in the Family (2003) " Sheer torture." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 24, 2003
1/5 38% 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002) " Coarse, misogynistic and blasphemous." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Feb 28, 2002
61% The Reader (2008) " Director Stephen Daldry and screenwriter David Hare adapt Bernhard Schlink's novel into a shuffling, episodic entertainment that's undermined by inconsistent casting." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Jan 5, 2009
50% Sex and the City (2008) " We'll continue to experience befuddlement verging on disgust whenever we're reminded of Sex and the City (so named, we suppose, because Seriously Rethinking Third-Wave Feminism reads like ass on a poster)." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 30, 2008
34% The Break-Up (2006) " With nothing genuine invested in either character, we can focus fully on how bland and churlish they are." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Jun 8, 2006
26% The Omen (2006) " Those who have seen the original will be nonplussed by every identical plot development, while younger viewers used to the breakneck luridness of today's Fangoria-approved freakouts will wonder why this one is so slow and ponderous." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Jun 8, 2006
74% Cars (2006) " The creative mind rot that was foretold by The Incredibles comes home with full, Lamborghini-against-a-brick-wall force in a dull highway opera that's only notable for its technical achievements." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Jun 8, 2006
37% Keeping Up With The Steins (2006) " A cute and worthy idea that could've used better execution." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Jun 8, 2006
25% The Da Vinci Code (2006) " You'd think director Ron Howard would remember that film is supposed to be a visual medium, but the inert Code has less dynamic content than a Sunday-school filmstrip." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 25, 2006
57% Kinky Boots (2006) " A marginal Britcom." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 25, 2006
57% X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) " The Last Stand is fitfully entertaining, but lurking at the edge of almost every frame is a reminder that you're watching a genre exercise with no real talent or affection at its core." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 25, 2006
33% Poseidon (2006) " Petersen opts for a 'straight, updated' approach that's actually more ludicrous." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 18, 2006
44% Goal! The Dream Begins (Goal!: The Impossible Dream) (2005) " The movie is variously a dewy plea for tolerance, a sporting Cinderella story, a father/ son reconciliation drama and a 'will success spoil Rock Hunter?' cautionary tale. In other words, it's four movies you didn't especially need to see again." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 10, 2006
36% Art School Confidential (2006) " If you're expecting another Enid, forget it. That kind of lightning only strikes once." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 10, 2006
26% Hoot (2006) " Wil Shriner tries to adapt a Carl Hiaasen novel about kids standing up for owls and instead proves his ineptitude as a director." — Orlando Weekly
Posted May 4, 2006
22% Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing & Charm School (2006) " Not content to tell two lousy, maudlin stories at once, the movie goes for a full three." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 27, 2006
24% RV (2006) " The prerelease trailer foretold a pleasant throwback to the National Lampoon's Vacation movies; little did we all realize it'd be a Vacation that stupidly expects us to care for its characters." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 27, 2006
37% Scary Movie 4 (2006) " Unspectacular but hardly disastrous comedy." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 20, 2006
76% Joyeux Noël (Merry Christmas) (2006) " In language and approach, [Carion's] movie tends toward maudlin self-importance; technically, it's at best inconsistent." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 20, 2006
19% The Wild (2006) " Amid the recycled situations and characters, only a pair of very Noo Yawk alligators gets genuine laughs -- and they're gone in less time than it takes to escort a toddler out of the theater for a wee-wee." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 14, 2006
12% The Aryan Couple, (The Couple) (2005) " Put-upon Jews weep on cue or stare defiantly into the camera, spouting impromptu speeches about getting some of their own back one day; all the while, violins wail in the background." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 13, 2006
90% Duck Season (Temporada de patos) (2006) " There are several moments of high, unheralded humor -- although whenever you find yourself laughing, you have to ask yourself if you aren't merely grateful that anything is happening at all." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 13, 2006
18% Loverboy (2006) " Director Bacon gilds the inherent domestic horror of the script (by Hannah Shakespeare, from Victoria Redel's novel) with farcically stylized flashbacks." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 12, 2006
68% Hard Candy (2006) " Hard Candy enters a miasma of revelation and revenge - one that might have worked better on the stage than the screen, where the story's claustrophobia and increasingly unwieldy plot twists take a major toll." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 12, 2006
12% The Benchwarmers (2006) " Rob Schneider and David Spade welcome Jon Heder into the fraternity of comic actors who will never again enjoy a shred of credibility." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 6, 2006
51% Lucky Number Slevin (2006) " The Tarantino school of filmmaking reaches its nadir -- one hopes -- in this initially promising mistaken-identity caper, which ends up cooking its own goose through a devotion to glibness." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Apr 6, 2006
7% Basic Instinct 2 (2006) " The film's hilarious intended subtitle, Risk Addiction, sadly didn't make it to the release stage, but there are still enough variations of it in the final shooting script to make for a fun drinking game when you rent the DVD three weeks from now." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Mar 31, 2006
61% Find Me Guilty (2006) " The real-life proceeding was supposedly the longest Mafia trial in American history, and you can feel all 600-plus days of it in Sidney Lumet's turgid screen translation." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Mar 30, 2006
86% Inside Man (2006) " The flaw that can't be gotten around is the utter mismatch of such potboiler material with Lee's plodding, self-important directorial style." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Mar 30, 2006
73% V for Vendetta (2006) " Provocation demands constant nurturing, which proves beyond the capabilities of this long, dialogue-heavy and frequently static film." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Mar 16, 2006
81% Private (2005) " The movie is more noteworthy for the intimate suspense it brings to the subject of Israeli occupation than for any dramatic conclusion it chooses to reach." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Mar 9, 2006
33% The Libertine (2006) " Dingy and dark, using the trappings of rot to mask its central goody-two-shoedness." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Mar 9, 2006
7% Date Movie (2006) " This is a movie that thinks a hit in the gut is a perfectly suitable punch line; as such, watching it often feels like enduring repeated blows to your own solar plexus." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Feb 23, 2006
23% Freedomland (2006) " In the end, Freedomland merely pits Some of Us against Some of Them, and you don't have to be a detective to know that's a big cop-out." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Feb 16, 2006
9% When a Stranger Calls (2006) " Exhibits not a smidgen of awareness that its premise has been ripped off 500 times and parodied in three Scream movies." — Orlando Weekly
Posted Feb 9, 2006
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