ROTTEN TOMATOES: Michael Szymanski

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MICHAEL SZYMANSKI

Agrees with the Tomatometer 65% of the time.

Biography: Mike is a freelance film critic who sees about 400 films a year. He lives in Hollywood right smack between the biggest movie complex in the world at Universal Studios and the most well-known movie theater in the world Grauman's Chinese Theatre. He writes for Scifi.com, Hollywood.com, Wordmag.com and has written for the Los Angeles Times, Zap2it.com, Entertainment Weekly and E! Online.

Favorites: Casablanca Star Wars Grease

Publications: FilmStew.com, Hollywood.com, International Press Academy, Sci-Fi Weekly, Wordmag.com, Zap2it.com

Total Reviews: 706
Total QuickRatings: 1005

Location: Hollywood, Calif.

WORST REVIEWED FILMS

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Rating	T-Meter	Title \| Year	Add Date (default)

Rotten D-	Rotten 32%	Tamara (2006)	" You know things aren't going well when it gets tedious watching a teen girl strut around in short shorts and a loose top and you're waiting for her to use the ax and get it over with" — Sci-Fi Weekly Posted Aug 23, 2006
Rotten D-	Rotten 36%	The Lake House (2006)	" Time-travel films often bring up a lot of questions, and they often fall apart with thoughtful scrutiny, but that's part of the fun. However, one shouldn't be wondering that the only benefit these two have with this magical mailbox connection is that they" — Sci-Fi Weekly Posted Aug 23, 2006
Rotten D	Rotten 13%	The Cave (2005)	" If you like cold, dark, claustrophobic spaces, I highly recommend you go rediscover The Abyss. If that doesn't work, just go hole yourself up in a closet!" — Sci-Fi Weekly Posted Sep 21, 2005
Rotten D	N/A	The Hilarious House of Frightenstein (1971)	" Poor Vincent Price took a sad career turn in the 1970s..." — Sci-Fi Weekly Posted Oct 15, 2005
Rotten 2/10	Rotten 24%	Little Ashes (2009)	" It's not even worth it for Robert Pattinson, who is shown in the movie, nearly fully naked, with his privates tucked between his legs, but everything else showing." — International Press Academy Posted Aug 18, 2009
Rotten 1/5	Rotten 11%	The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)	Click here to read article — Hollywood.com Posted Nov 20, 2008
Rotten 1/5	Rotten 12%	The Benchwarmers (2006)	Click here to read article — Hollywood.com Posted Nov 20, 2008
Rotten 1/5/4	Rotten 18%	Collateral Damage (2002)	" Time wasn't on Arnold's side. Perhaps he's growing old, or the stories are simply getting old." — Zap2it.com Posted Jul 9, 2002
Rotten 1/4	Rotten 1%	Alone in the Dark (2005)	" There's plenty to snicker at." — Zap2it.com Posted Feb 5, 2005
Rotten 1/4	Rotten 4%	The Whole Ten Yards (2004)	" *Just rent Sexy Beast." — Zap2it.com* Posted Dec 19, 2004
Rotten 1/4	Rotten 27%	Paycheck (2003)	" When will Ben Affleck's perceived star power fade away? He just doesn't seem to have the inner angst and soulfulness that you see in the eyes of Cruise, Pitt or even Damon." — Zap2it.com Posted Feb 24, 2004
Rotten 1/4	Rotten 13%	Love Don't Cost a Thing (2003)	" If you tried to be in the "in" crowd -- then this is going to be even more painful. In fact, even if you're in the "in" crowd, you'll find this painful." — Zap2it.com Posted Dec 31, 2003
Rotten 1/4	Rotten 15%	Gothika (2003)	" Folks may say you'd have to be possessed to go see this movie." — Zap2it.com Posted Nov 25, 2003
Rotten 1/4	Rotten 9%	Grind (2003)	" There's a line in "Grind" where one of the guys says, "This is a revolving nightmare!" That's the feeling you'll get." — Zap2it.com Posted Aug 15, 2003
Rotten 1/4	Rotten 0%	Pinocchio (2002)	" What's most incredible is not that Benigni thought that he could pull off a believable wooden puppet who wants to be a boy, nor thet he could turn such a charming story into such a horrifically scary tale, but that the people of Italy love this movie so m" — Zap2it.com Posted Feb 21, 2003
Rotten 1/4	Fresh 65%	Solaris (2002)	" One big blustery movie where nothing really happens. When it comes out on video, then it's the perfect cure for insomnia." — Zap2it.com Posted Nov 26, 2002
Rotten 1/4	Rotten 6%	The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)	" It's not funny, it's not romantic, it's not exciting, it's not for children, it's not remotely interesting." — Zap2it.com Posted Aug 16, 2002
Rotten 1/4	Rotten 38%	40 Days and 40 Nights (2002)	" Then, there's the seen-that-before scene of poor Matt walking around with a protrusion he seems blithely unaware of that seems to go to some preposterously immense proportions." — Zap2it.com Posted May 20, 2002
Rotten 1/4	Fresh 62%	Zoolander (2001)	" I have two words for "Zoolander": Stoo Pid!" — Zap2it.com Posted Aug 29, 2003
Rotten 1/4	Fresh 86%	Chariots of Fire (1981)	" I've never stayed awake through this whole movie, despite many attempts with lots of coffee. It ranks in my book as the movie that least deserves a best picture honor" — Zap2it.com Posted Jul 10, 2003

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5/5	Desperate Housewives - The Complete...Offsite
A	Everything is IlluminatedOffsite
4/4	QuinceaneraOffsite
A-	Sky HighOffsite
9/10	District 9Offsite
3.5/4	CapoteOffsite
B+	Just Like HeavenOffsite
4/5	Tales of the Unexpected - Set 1Offsite
8/10	Harry Potter and the Half-Blood PrinceOffsite
3/4	BoogeymanOffsite
B	The Brothers GrimmOffsite
7/10	The Time Traveler's WifeOffsite
2.5/4	Green Street HooligansOffsite
3/5	America Home of the BraveOffsite
B-	UndeadOffsite
6/10	HumpdayOffsite
C+	Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl...Offsite
2/4	In Her ShoesOffsite
C	StealthOffsite
2/5	Postcards from Buster - Buster's...Offsite
1.5/4	My Super Ex-GirlfriendOffsite
C-	Herbie: Fully LoadedOffsite
D+	UltravioletOffsite
1/5	The BenchwarmersOffsite
2/10	Little AshesOffsite
D	The CaveOffsite
D-	The Lake HouseOffsite

5/5	Starter For 10Offsite
4/4	QuinceaneraOffsite
A	The Hills Have EyesOffsite
A	The IllusionistOffsite
5/5	Alias - The Complete Fourth SeasonOffsite
A	Everything is IlluminatedOffsite
5/5	Desperate Housewives - The Complete...Offsite
A	Batman BeginsOffsite
4/4	DownfallOffsite
4/4	Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of...Offsite

D-	TamaraOffsite
D-	The Lake HouseOffsite
D	The Hilarious House of FrightensteinOffsite
D	The CaveOffsite
2/10	Little AshesOffsite
1/5	The Hills Have Eyes IIOffsite
1/5	The BenchwarmersOffsite
1/5/4	Collateral DamageOffsite
1/4	Alone in the DarkOffsite
1/4	The Whole Ten YardsOffsite

MICHAEL SZYMANSKI

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