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John Larsen

John Larsen

"PERSONAL QUOTE:If the world sucks as much as people protest, then sexual satisfaction would never be an issue."

Agrees with the Tomatometer 78% of the time.

Biography:
They're not just moving images, they're a way of life. Fascinated by movies since he was born in a small hospital on the hill in Santa Paula, California, John Larsen has been professionally reviewing movies since 1974. As editor of his high school newspaper, Larsen developed his long-running column, "Light Views, Reviews and Previews." The column moved to the Oxnard College newspaper Campus, which Larsen helped create and served as its first Editor-in-Chief. After graduation, Larsen tagged up with the Ventura County Reporter, a large weekly entertainment newspaper based in Ventura County, California. He has been the film and video editor for the paper for the past twenty-five years. During that time, Larsen's reviews have appeared in numerous publications, television and radio shows, and on-line at eDrive and Hollywood Hotline. He's a Chief Contributor for the Video Movie Guide, the Pasadena Weekly, San Diego City Beat and Santa Barbara Bulletin, and hosts a weekly entertainment review show on KVEN Talk Radio and KBBY Radio. Larsen's "Video Views" column was one of the first columns to exclusively cover video, debuting in 1983. He also writes the syndicated "The Video Closet" column. Larsen spends most of his time in the dark, reviewing more than 400 films every year on screen and video. When he's not watching movies, he spends his time writing them. When he's not working, Larsen enjoys white water rafting (he's been down the Grand Canyon twice), acting, and stand-up comedy. He also writes and produces under a well-guarded alter ego.
Favorites:
FAVORITE MOVIES: The Exorcist, E.T., Field of Dreams, Schindler's List, Mary Poppins, Road to Perdition, Pocketful of Miracles, Pulp Fiction, Psycho, The Searchers, American Graffiti, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Nashville, The Sting, Taxi Driver
Publications:
Light Views
Total Reviews:
892
Total QuickRatings:
57
Location:
Always Within Striking Distance

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 426
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
0/5 —— She (1989) Light Views
Posted Jul 18, 2005
0/5 0% American Anthem (1986) Light Views
Posted Jul 18, 2005
1/5 —— Hustler White (2002) Light Views
Posted Jul 18, 2005
8% The Number 23 (2007) " The Number 23 is just a sordid exercise for a comedy actor to stretch his dramatic muscle." — Light Views
Posted Apr 22, 2007
9% Norbit (2007) " Once we've seen Murphy in the fat suit, the joke is over." — Light Views
Posted Feb 20, 2007
15% Hannibal Rising (2007) " You won't need a GPS to know where this plot is headed." — Light Views
Posted Feb 20, 2007
54% Alpha Dog (2007) " Timberlake is trying to bring sexy back, and after seeing his performance in "Alpha Dog," I can see why it left." — Light Views
Posted Jan 29, 2007
28% Smokin' Aces (2007) " What sounds like an interesting idea goes up in a blaze of bullets as none of the characters exist beyond the film frame." — Light Views
Posted Jan 29, 2007
93% Children of Men (2006) " Instead of engrossing me with its powerful message and gripping imagery, it just meandered along like my grandfather's Rascal on a low battery." — Light Views
Posted Jan 8, 2007
21% Man of the Year (2006) " Reminded me of an octogenarian circus spinner. While grounded, she looks terrific, but the moment she tries to elevate herself, she loses her teeth." — Light Views
Posted Dec 26, 2006
21% You, Me and Dupree (2006) " Anyone with a couch, a spare room or a basement knows a Dupree." — Light Views
Posted Sep 26, 2006
24% Lady in the Water (2006) " Lady in the Water is like a convenience store, with the director filling his basket with easy story fixes and unnecessary junk food." — Light Views
Posted Sep 26, 2006
40% My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006) " Anyone who ever found a boiled bunny on their stove knows breaking up with a woman who won't be ignored can be extremely dangerous." — Light Views
Posted Sep 26, 2006
15% The Wicker Man (2006) " LaBute comes out with both barrels blazing, but his remake misfires." — Light Views
Posted Sep 26, 2006
26% The Omen (2006) " By-the-book remake of the 1976 horror thriller features scrumptious production values, a sinister turn by Mia Farrow as Nanny 666, and an overall sense of familiarity." — Light Views
Posted Jul 8, 2006
19% Firewall (2006) " Joe Forte's screenplay couldn't be any easier to read if it were on a billboard." — Light Views
Posted Mar 17, 2006
20% Derailed (2005) " A cautionary tale for men who can't keep it in their pants." — Light Views
Posted Feb 4, 2006
38% Flightplan (2005) " Flightplan is an airborne thriller for people who can't tell the difference between the contents of an air sickness bag and an in-flight meal." — Light Views
Posted Nov 7, 2005
61% Jarhead (2005) " Jarhead could have been the right movie at the right time, a mirror of the current political climate..." — Light Views
Posted Nov 7, 2005
11% The Cave (2005) " ...an impotent monster movie which is all tease and no climax." — Light Views
Posted Sep 7, 2005
37% The Skeleton Key (2005) " Dumbo Gumbo" — Light Views
Posted Sep 7, 2005
6% A Sound of Thunder (2005) " ...a wet, soggy, and extremely unpleasant experience best suited for a litter box." — Light Views
Posted Sep 7, 2005
40% The Island (2005) " Bay may be the master of blink-and-you'll-miss-it filmmaking, but he's also a slave to redundancy." — Light Views
Posted Aug 1, 2005
13% Stealth (2005) " Popcorn movies aren't a bad thing, unless the filmmakers pee in your popcorn. Nothing is worse than soggy, rancid popcorn passing itself off as the real thing." — Light Views
Posted Aug 1, 2005
45% Dark Water (2005) " It's a copy, a good copy, but a copy none the less." — Light Views
Posted Jul 14, 2005
74% War of the Worlds (2005) " Spielberg has made nothing more than a large-scale disaster film. Things blow up, people die, and we don't really care." — Light Views
Posted Jul 14, 2005
16% Monster-in-Law (2005) " The events that transpire in Monster-in-Law could only happen in the movies. Too bad they didn't happen in a better movie." — Light Views
Posted May 30, 2005
25% House of Wax (2005) " First there was her X-rated romp with Rick Salomon, and now, in the remake of House of Wax, Hilton's head is once again open for business." — Light Views
Posted May 30, 2005
31% The Longest Yard (2005) " ...what you get when you cast comedians as actors instead of actors who can be funny." — Light Views
Posted May 30, 2005
20% The Ring Two (2005) " Watts is back for more, but her mother hen routine begins to wear out its welcome. It must be difficult to maintain that look of constipation take after take." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
15% Miss Congeniality 2 - Armed and Fabulous (2005) " Like tumbling dice, the odds are against anyone hoping to repeat the success of the first roll. After all is said and done, Miss Congeniality 2 craps out." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
8% Man of the House (2005) " As inevitable as a Lance Bass VH1 Where Are They Now special" — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
43% Guess Who (2005) " Every subtle moment becomes a platform for something even more outrageous, forcing us to abandon all hope that Guess Who will be anything more than another obnoxious comedy." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
10% Elektra (2005) " ...it lacks the emotional punch. How can you mourn for someone when mourning becomes Elektra?" — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
16% Cursed (2005) " Cursed is a sheep in wolf's clothing, pulling the wool over what might have been a decent bit of rip and shred." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
46% Constantine (2005) " With Keanu Reeves as the star, it's difficult to know who to root for." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
13% Boogeyman (2005) " When the theater lights come up, this Boogeyman is nothing but a bad memory." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
65% Coach Carter (2005) " The writers miss almost every opportunity to say something important, thus depriving their characters (and actors) voices that might have made a difference." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
30% Be Cool (2005) " Despite the exhortation of its title, Be Cool is anything but." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
26% Anatomy of Hell (2004) " I'm all for movies that challenge an audience, but when you throw crap at the screen, don't tell me it doesn't stink." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
1% Alone in the Dark (2005) " If you want to be alone while watching Alone In The Dark, there's good news and bad news. The good news is you will get your wish." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
35% Hostage (2005) " The director keeps Hostage moving even when logic hits a brick wall." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
24% The Amityville Horror (2005) " This is linear storytelling at its most conventional: get in, get out, do as much damage as possible en route." — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
39% Sahara (2005) " Sahara travels a familiar action movie road map, a by-the-numbers adventure which filters every frame through a nostalgic prism" — Light Views
Posted Apr 30, 2005
72% Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004) " You know a family film misses the mark when a light from across the aisle catches your attention and turns out to be a kid playing video games." — Light Views
Posted Jan 9, 2005
42% A Love Song for Bobby Long (2004) " Like New Orleans chicken and jambalaya, A Love Song For Bobby Long is deep fried and slow cooked, but not nearly as tasty." — Light Views
Posted Jan 9, 2005
9% White Noise (2005) " ...bad movie, one that takes almost every cue from Poltergeist." — Light Views
Posted Jan 9, 2005
32% King Arthur (2004) " Swords swing, people fall, music swells, and when all is said done, the legend of "King Arthur" becomes dethroned by its aggravating revisionist take." — Light Views
Posted Oct 11, 2004
58% I, Robot (2004) " For a film that takes place 31 years in the future, "I, Robot" feels dated. Make that carbon dated." — Light Views
Posted Oct 11, 2004
11% A Cinderella Story (2004) " People who wear glass slippers shouldn't go around kicking the crap out of fairytales." — Light Views
Posted Oct 11, 2004
Showing 1 - 50 of 426
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