|
F
|
12%
|
The Bounty Hunter (2010) |
"
I hated this movie. It's lazy, it's annoying, and it lasts a lifetime at 110 minutes."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Mar 19, 2010
|
|
0/5
|
5%
|
Good Luck Chuck (2007) |
"
That the film even tries to be heartfelt is egregious in itself, but "good luck" finding it among the horrendously executed slapstick, equally disastrous gross-out humor, and so much blatant racism, homophobia, and scorn for everyone else."
—
Bullz-Eye.com
Posted Sep 22, 2007
|
|
F
|
5%
|
Good Luck Chuck (2007) |
"
Dane Cook plays a dentist in Good Luck Chuck... Having had braces, three tooth extractions, three bone graphs, and three dental implants, I can say with relative ease that none of that was as painful as watching this pathetic waste of celluloid."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Sep 20, 2007
|
|
F
|
24%
|
Halloween (2007) |
"
John Carpenter can rest easy; any self-respecting horror fan will forget this film even exists by the time the real Halloween rolls around this year."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Aug 30, 2007
|
|
F-
|
5%
|
Because I Said So (2007) |
"
Apparently retrieved from a dumpster, labeled "Rejected Sitcom Brain Farts," at the Universal back lot and Scotch-taped back together, the screenplay can only be described as a crime against moviegoers worldwide."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Feb 1, 2007
|
|
F
|
16%
|
Turistas (Paradise Lost) (2006) |
"
The tagline says 'go home.' I say 'stay home.'"
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Nov 30, 2006
|
|
F
|
30%
|
Running With Scissors (2006) |
"
Here is a film so loathsome, so pointless, and so painful to watch that I could only wince as it bounced from scene to scene (or more accurately, skit to skit)."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Oct 26, 2006
|
|
F
|
24%
|
RV (2006) |
"
This is frighteningly outdated formula filmmaking at its worst."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Apr 26, 2006
|
|
F
|
9%
|
When a Stranger Calls (2006) |
"
The film contains no suspense, no scares, and absolutely no reason for existing."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Feb 2, 2006
|
|
F
|
10%
|
Aeon Flux (2005) |
"
I usually bypass puns based upon a film's title, but here I can't help myself: Aeon Flux is a flux-up of prodigious proportions."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Dec 1, 2005
|
|
F
|
19%
|
Domino (2005) |
"
Not since 1993's Coneheads have I hated every moronic minute of a film, but Domino has put a stop to that drought."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Oct 13, 2005
|
|
F
|
21%
|
Into the Blue (2005) |
"
Watch as millions of dollars are hurled at us in the form of bad special effects and an impenetrable labyrinth of a story that I cannot imagine a single soul caring about."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Sep 29, 2005
|
|
F
|
13%
|
Stealth (2005) |
"
Anyone with a Playstation 2, surround sound, and an aerial combat game can duplicate, if not surpass, this dismal display."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jul 26, 2005
|
|
F
|
4%
|
House of the Dead (2003) |
"
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Exhibit A in the evidence that no more video games, under any conditions, should be made into movies."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 20, 2005
|
|
F
|
1%
|
Alone in the Dark (2005) |
"
As long as director Uwe Boll is given money to make films, we are guaranteed at least one unintentionally uproarious gut-buster a year."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 15, 2005
|
|
D-
|
27%
|
Green Lantern (2011) |
"
Green Lantern isn't just bad, it's Fantastic Four bad."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 16, 2011
|
|
D-
|
24%
|
The Dilemma (2011) |
"
...stretches patience, common sense, and anyone's ability to stomach Vince Vaughn rambling his way through an eternally long two hours."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jan 13, 2011
|
|
D-
|
42%
|
Faster (2010) |
"
Faster actually wants us to take this seriously, and it's crushed under its own weight with this assertion."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Nov 24, 2010
|
|
D-
|
28%
|
Clash of the Titans (2010) |
"
Well, at least I know what setting $70 million ablaze looks like in 3D."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Apr 2, 2010
|
|
D-
|
16%
|
When in Rome (2010) |
"
We're not talking Because I Said So bad, but at least Couples Retreat bad."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jan 29, 2010
|
|
D-
|
4%
|
Code Name: The Cleaner (2007) |
"
It's not often that a 90 minute film could lose twenty minutes and still end up with an identical result, but Code Name: The Cleaner does pull that off. If only someone had made [director Les] Mayfield aware of that somewhere along the line."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jan 4, 2007
|
|
D-
|
4%
|
Happily N'ever After (2006) |
"
Limping into theaters at the least admirable time of year, the film is a disaster on a scale we may not have seen yet in this genre. That would make it a new low."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jan 4, 2007
|
|
D-
|
47%
|
Miami Vice (2006) |
"
Where did all the money go? That's all I could think about while watching Miami Vice, the summer stinker for this week."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jul 27, 2006
|
|
D-
|
21%
|
You, Me and Dupree (2006) |
"
You, Me and Dupree is exactly the kind of brainless, witless junk that Hollywood knows it can peel off the scrap heap at any time and make a quick trip to the bank on."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jul 13, 2006
|
|
D-
|
40%
|
Nacho Libre (2006) |
"
Nacho Libre serves as further evidence to the theory that people will laugh at anything as long as they expect to."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 16, 2006
|
|
D-
|
61%
|
The New World (2005) |
"
Only Terrence Malick could get away with this."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jan 18, 2006
|
|
D-
|
11%
|
Halloween - Resurrection (2002) |
"
A pretty funny comedy starring the one, the only, the incomparable...Busta Rhymes."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Oct 28, 2005
|
|
D-
|
11%
|
The Man (2005) |
"
When the bathroom humor is the best part of your film, it's time to go back to the drawing board."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Sep 7, 2005
|
|
D-
|
29%
|
The Punisher (2004) |
"
The Punisher is Commando with an identity crisis."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 26, 2005
|
|
D-
|
71%
|
Napoleon Dynamite (2004) |
"
Leave this one for the dogs."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 21, 2005
|
|
D-
|
17%
|
House of 1000 Corpses (2003) |
"
A disaster area."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 20, 2005
|
|
D-
|
46%
|
Eurotrip (2003) |
"
If you took every road trip comedy ever made, ingested them, then bonged a bottle of ex-lax, this is what would show up a half hour later."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 20, 2005
|
|
D-
|
7%
|
Envy (2004) |
"
I don't think any critic could have predicted a turkey like this based on the immense level of talent that is involved here."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 20, 2005
|
|
D-
|
——
|
Atomic Train (1999) |
"
Just as bad as it sounds."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 17, 2005
|
|
D-
|
27%
|
Anacondas - The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004) |
"
So who is this movie for? Based on my experience at the theater, kids who just turned thirteen yesterday."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 17, 2005
|
|
D-
|
9%
|
White Noise (2005) |
"
An effective ad campaign for a colossal mess."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 16, 2005
|
|
D-
|
4%
|
Darkness (2004) |
"
It's unfortunate that the film is called Darkness because this means it will soon be relegated to the Wal Mart bargain bin next to 2003's stinker Darkness Falls."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 15, 2005
|
|
D-
|
11%
|
Are We There Yet? (2005) |
"
It's never too early to start that 'Worst of 2005' list, and Are We There Yet? is already a worthy contender."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 15, 2005
|
|
D-
|
24%
|
The Amityville Horror (2005) |
"
I have a small bit of admiration for a film that actually tries to be worse than Hide and Seek."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Apr 25, 2005
|
|
D-
|
30%
|
Be Cool (2005) |
"
I can only recommend you 'be cool' and avoid this vanity project dreck."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Mar 3, 2005
|
|
D-
|
6%
|
Son of the Mask (2005) |
"
None of the sequences take time to develop and buildup; they're just thrown at us mindlessly."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Feb 18, 2005
|
|
D
|
32%
|
I Am Number Four (2011) |
"
This is a whimper of a film simply trying to capitalize on the success of the Twilight formula and, well, every superhero movie under the sun."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Feb 17, 2011
|
|
D
|
28%
|
Life as We Know It (2010) |
"
Life As We Know It contains what has to be the most unappetizing setup in romantic comedy history."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Oct 7, 2010
|
|
D
|
6%
|
The Last Airbender (2010) |
"
Where's the fun? We're talking about characters that can throw fire and water. Where's the excitement and sense of wonder?"
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 30, 2010
|
|
D
|
10%
|
Grown Ups (2010) |
"
This is as flat, lazy, and uninspired of a comedy as any in years."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jun 24, 2010
|
|
D
|
15%
|
Sex and the City 2 (2010) |
"
At this point it's virtually impossible to escape the cruel irony that Sex and the City, the show, ended when it did so that it wouldn't become what this movie is."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted May 28, 2010
|
|
D
|
12%
|
Couples Retreat (2009) |
"
There's only one winner in this film, and it's Applebee's. Take my word for it and watch some Travel Channel instead."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Oct 8, 2009
|
|
D
|
26%
|
Seven Pounds (2008) |
"
Will Smith wants an Oscar. That much we understand. But if he thinks he can get one by playing a tragic character in very mediocre-to-bad movies, he's likely mistaken."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Dec 18, 2008
|
|
D
|
26%
|
Eagle Eye (2008) |
"
The screenwriters, four in all, and director D.J. Caruso completely squander any opportunity to be original and instead opt to make a generic and completely unsatisfying thriller."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Sep 25, 2008
|
|
D
|
15%
|
Over Her Dead Body (2008) |
"
This January has been surprisingly pain-free, a rarity for sure, but this heap brings matters back to a stark reality."
—
FromTheBalcony
Posted Jan 31, 2008
|
67%
——
98%
