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Critics / Kevin A. Ranson / Worst
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    MovieCrypt.com

KEVIN A. RANSON

Agrees with the Tomatometer 65% of the time.

Biography: What his grammar school teachers called “underachieving,” Kevin A. Ranson called “being bored to tears” and spent every possible second making up projects to fuel his unattended creativity. After discovering nothing interesting at college other than movies and role-playing games, Kevin escaped from West “By God” Virginia to travel the world for six years on the US Navy’s dime while compiling ideas for books, games, and screenplays. Now from his home page at ThinkingSkull.com, he owns/manages MovieCrypt.com as a certified (or certifiable) film critic endorsed by the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org). He also works as a freelance game writer/designer when not working on his indie role-playing game at KindlingMoon.com. Kevin currently resides in Jacksonville, Florida.
Favorites: Of all time, thus far, and in no particular order: "Contact," "The 13th Warrior," "Ghostbusters," "Once Upon a Time in the West," "The Exorcist," "The Fellowship of the Ring," Disney's "Aladdin," "The Iron Giant," "Gattaca," "Back to the Future," "Shaun of the Dead," and my personal guilty pleasure, "Killer Klowns from Outer Space." (I do admit to a favorable predisposition to films with normal people catalyzed by slightly-supernatural circumstance!)

Publications: MovieCrypt.com

Critics' Group: Online Film Critics Society

Total Reviews: 383
Total QuickRatings: 86

Location: Jacksonville, Florida

WORST REVIEWED FILMS

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# a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres
Showing 1 - 0 of 44
Previous | Next
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date (default)

Rotten
0.0/4.0

Rotten
17%

Black Christmas (2006)

" All setup and no payoff makes this a dull film."

Posted Oct 17, 2007

Rotten
0.0/4.0

Rotten
5%

The Fog (2005)

" Irredeemably irresponsible."

Posted Oct 15, 2005

Rotten
0.0/4

Rotten
23%

Torque (2004)

" Casualties of this wreck are numerous and unfortunate."

Posted Jan 16, 2004

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
4%

House of the Dead (2003)

" I want my ninety minutes back."

Posted Oct 19, 2003

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
28%

Scooby-Doo - The Movie (2002)

" ... represents the very essence of taking a studio-owned property and sucking out its soul ...at the expense of everyone that once cherished it."

Posted Jun 16, 2002

Rotten
0.5/4.0

Rotten
21%

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

" If you want to see all the cool special effects in this remake, watch the trailer. If you want the extreme environmentalist agenda that goes with them, buy a ticket."

Posted Dec 12, 2008

Rotten
0.5/4.0

Rotten
18%

The Happening (2008)

" ... M. Night desperately needs to find that special someone whose opinion he'll listen to when they say,'No! BAD writer-producer-director! NOT a good idea!'"

Posted Jun 15, 2008

Rotten
0.5/4.0

Rotten
17%

Dead Silence (2007)

" 'Beware the film of Mary Shaw's; it had no scares, only flaws.'"

Posted Mar 27, 2007

Rotten
0.5/4

Rotten
13%

The Haunted Mansion (2003)

" ... essentially a soulless collection of episodic gags... only serves to hammer a few more nails into [Eddie Murphy's] career's coffin."

Posted Dec 20, 2003

Rotten
0.5/4

Rotten
37%

Scary Movie 3 (2003)

" ... the only people who’ll remember it will be the ones cashing their checks afterward (or who’ll campaign a studio later to do another one of these turkeys)."

Posted Nov 15, 2003

Rotten
0.5/4

Rotten
16%

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

" ... with few exceptions, the cast is excellent but the story is terrible... "League" still isn't as bad as Sean Connery's "The Avengers.""

Posted Aug 18, 2003

Rotten
0.5/4

Rotten
29%

Dreamcatcher (2003)

" Two words: anal leakage."

Posted Apr 6, 2003

Rotten
0.5/4

Rotten
52%

The Mothman Prophecies (2002)

" Whether Pellington or Gere is to blame for keeping the obvious potential of this weak thriller down, someone should be held responsible. Even the Mothman doesn't have to predict how well this film will do at the box office."

Posted Dec 29, 2002

Rotten
0.5/4

Rotten
44%

The Rules of Attraction (2002)

" ... unless you're interested in seeing kids with $2000 computers complaining about money or mindless parties full of nudity and drug use, rent "Go" instead."

Posted Nov 13, 2002

Rotten
0.5/4

Rotten
48%

Unfaithful (2002)

" ... for all the mistakes this couple made, the story makes the viewer suffer more than the couple on screen."

Posted May 12, 2002

Rotten
1/5

Rotten
23%

Blind Date (1987)

Would you believe My Stepmother Is an Alien was better?
Posted Dec 8, 2004

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
44%

Jennifer's Body (2009)

" Feeling awfully long for a short movie, two-dimensional characters and spotty editing fail to capitalize on a clever idea."

Posted Oct 6, 2009

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
21%

Halloween II (2009)

" ... the only point to Rob Zombie's unfocused and oft-times boring sequel appears to be in making (his previous) remake look like genius in comparison."

Posted Aug 29, 2009

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
15%

Year One (2009)

" While... the filmmakers had a good time making the movie, not enough of it translates into a successful film... the script could have used a lot more divine intervention."

Posted Jun 21, 2009

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
2%

Meet the Spartans (2008)

" What does it say about a film with an hour running time that has twenty minutes of outtakes after the credits to reach theatrical length? Very little that's positive."

Posted Feb 10, 2009

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Fresh
77%

Burn After Reading (2008)

" Burn Before Watching."

Posted Jan 3, 2009

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
0%

One Missed Call (2008)

" Are we really supposed to believe that, if you die angry while holding a cell phone, you can make the 'Can you hear me now?' guy throw himself in front of a bus?"

Posted Dec 24, 2008

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
0%

Lost Boys - The Tribe (2008)

" ... derivative. Sadly, the movie we really wanted to see is only hinted at... about thirty seconds into the credits."

Posted Nov 20, 2008

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
32%

The X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008)

" ... (not) the tribute to what made the series great that we'd hoped for, just a sad reminder of why we lost interest to begin with."

Posted Jul 27, 2008

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
44%

The Strangers (2008)

" How bad is a stalker/killer flick when it's just as lame whether the victims live or die? All suspense and no payoff doesn't look clever, just lazy."

Posted Jun 12, 2008

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
13%

Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

" ... why not just film an intergalactic reality show where eager young predators can prove their worth for fabulous prizes by surviving 24 hours on the alien homeworld?"

Posted Jan 16, 2008

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Fresh
82%

Atonement (2007)

" ... the only thing worse than leaving the theater unfulfilled is feeling manipulated and foolish for your own emotional investment."

Posted Dec 16, 2007

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
47%

Shooter (2007)

" ... the twists within twists become so laughable that you can't take anything seriously... the only thing missing here is a laugh track."

Posted Aug 26, 2007

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Fresh
89%

Zodiac (2007)

" A psycho-killer detective story with a less-than-thrilling pace and length."

Posted Aug 12, 2007

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
55%

Vacancy (2007)

" ... every scene... add(s) to the film's running time instead of adding to the story. The real Vacancy... (is) the sum total of all the holes in this plot."

Posted Apr 22, 2007

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
34%

The Black Dahlia (2006)

" ... ends up being forgettable enough that someone else in the future may still be able to take another stab at the idea."

Posted Jan 28, 2007

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
6%

Date Movie (2006)

" Looting the key scenes and plot points of hit movies is the bread and butter of spoof comedies, but the script for Date Movie is about as funny as dry white toast."

Posted Jan 28, 2007

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
12%

Pulse (2006)

" Neat idea; horrible execution. No wonder the studio couldn't (decide) where to unload this turkey."

Posted Aug 15, 2006

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
33%

Poseidon (2006)

" In the rush to make something for everyone, the final product is almost nothing for anyone... Waterworld gave you more bang for the buck..."

Posted May 15, 2006

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
49%

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

" ... rhymes with 'The Shills Sell Lies'... the lucky ones saw something else..."

Posted Mar 13, 2006

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
19%

Derailed (2005)

" The only thing harder to believe than someone falling for so obvious a ruse is for that same someone to have any chance of getting even for it."

Posted Dec 30, 2006

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
22%

Van Helsing (2004)

" ... even in the name of high adventure, the end result was just too silly and unbelievable to accept or enjoy."

Posted Dec 28, 2004

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Fresh
82%

The Manchurian Candidate (2004)

" ... if you’re reading this now, you can resist your brainwash programming for weak thrillers and go see The Bourne Supremacy instead."

Posted Aug 5, 2004

Rotten
1.0/4.0

Rotten
10%

Catwoman (2004)

" Watching claws being scraped against a chalkboard apparently isn’t any more enjoyable than listening to it."

Posted Jul 23, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Fresh
63%

Starsky & Hutch (2004)

" ... anyone can see the only thing (the film) has to do with “Starsky & Hutch” is the car (and the car should have had top billing, too)."

Posted Mar 7, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
46%

Eurotrip (2004)

" For a first-time director and a group of television writers that only have “The Cat In the Hat” to their theatrical credit, what actual hope did “Eurotrip” have?"

Posted Feb 26, 2004

Rotten
1.0/4

Fresh
76%

Bad Santa (2003)

" You don’t have to be a drunken department store Santa to see how blurry this storyline is, but it couldn’t hurt."

Posted Jan 2, 2004

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
28%

The Time Machine (2002)

" While this remake of the H.G. Wells' classic novel and 1960 film is indeed a stunning achievement in special effects, his great- grandson and director Simon Wells really needs to go back a year and get the sadly lacking script rewritten."

Posted Dec 29, 2002

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
27%

Life or Something Like It (2002)

" ... there isn't enough comedy or drama here to satisfy anyone's tastes in particular, and even Renée Zellweger dressed as a tart couldn't have made it any more watchable."

Posted Apr 29, 2002
Results for All Genres
Showing 1 - 0 of 44
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Best to Worst Sampling

Best to Worst Sampling

4.0/4.0

Thank You For SmokingOffsite

2.0/2.0

2012Offsite

3.5/4.0

Casino RoyaleOffsite

3.0/4.0

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky...Offsite

3/4

Night JunkiesOffsite

2.5/4.0

Scary Movie 4Offsite

2.5/4

Eat Your Heart OutOffsite

2.0/4.0

The IslandOffsite

2/4

I Now Pronounce You Chuck And LarryOffsite

1.5/4.0

Deja VuOffsite

1.4/4.0

Resident Evil: ExtinctionOffsite

1.0/4.0

DerailedOffsite

0.5/4.0

Dead SilenceOffsite

0.0/4.0

Black ChristmasOffsite

Best Reviewed

Best Reviewed

2.0/2.0

2012Offsite

4.0/4.0

Paranormal ActivityOffsite

4.0/4.0

Inglourious BasterdsOffsite

4.0/4.0

WatchmenOffsite

4.0/4.0

Slumdog MillionaireOffsite

4.0/4.0

The Dark KnightOffsite

4.0/4.0

WantedOffsite

4.0/4.0

No Country for Old MenOffsite

4.0/4.0

JunoOffsite

4.0/4.0

RatatouilleOffsite

More…

Worst Reviewed

Worst Reviewed

0.0/4.0

Black ChristmasOffsite

0.0/4.0

The FogOffsite

0.0/4

TorqueOffsite

0/4

House of the DeadOffsite

0/4

Scooby-Doo - The MovieOffsite

0.5/4.0

The Day the Earth Stood StillOffsite

0.5/4.0

The HappeningOffsite

0.5/4.0

Dead SilenceOffsite

0.5/4

The Haunted MansionOffsite

0.5/4

Scary Movie 3Offsite

More…

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