|
1/5
|
50%
|
Ella Enchanted (2004) |
"
Someone should tell O'Haver and the gaggle of writers it took to write this unenchanted mess that updated doesn't have to mean washed-up and dumbed-down."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 23, 2004
|
|
1.5/5
|
14%
|
Welcome To Mooseport (2004) |
"
Lord knows we need to laugh about politics, but when it comes to salving our Oval Office wounds, Welcome to Mooseport is like taking a baby aspirin for pneumonia..."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 12, 2004
|
|
1.5/5
|
8%
|
Gods and Generals (2003) |
"
A more appropriate title would be The Great Whitewashing of the Rebellion."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 2, 2003
|
|
1.5/5
|
37%
|
Sweet Home Alabama (2002) |
"
'It's painful to watch Witherspoon's talents wasting away inside unnecessary films like Legally Blonde and Sweet Home Abomination, I mean, Alabama.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 4, 2002
|
|
1.5/5
|
5%
|
Serving Sara (2002) |
"
'...One drawn-out, painful chase, with a few slugs, love smacks and prostate jokes.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 3, 2002
|
|
2/5
|
35%
|
Games People Play (2004) |
"
If reality is made up of truth without deceit, there's nothing real about Games, unless you count really bad and really awful."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 23, 2004
|
|
2/5
|
25%
|
Along Came Polly (2004) |
"
For all of you hungry-for-decent-comic-fare, Polly is a whole lotta ho-hum, a limping script with a few charming dimples."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 23, 2004
|
|
2/5
|
18%
|
Dude, Where's My Car? (2000) |
"
...a stoner mystery that recycles tried and occasionally true gags specifically packaged for today's teenage audiences, like the cheerleading squad I was sitting next to."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 16, 2004
|
|
2/5
|
23%
|
Cheaper by the Dozen (2003) |
"
Cheaper by the Dozen is yet another fast-food film, going through the motions of a plot with milk-and-cupcake dialogue that leaves you dry and crusty."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 31, 2003
|
|
2/5
|
19%
|
The Life of David Gale (2003) |
"
Any dialectic concerning the ethical-moral issues of execution is overridden and undermined when the Hollywood murder-mystery formula takes the front seat."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 2, 2003
|
|
2/5
|
45%
|
Daredevil (2003) |
"
In his saggy, dull-red leather gear, Ben Affleck hangs on the screen like a forlorn biker who's lost his buddies in a bar brawl."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 21, 2003
|
|
2/5
|
27%
|
Analyze That (2002) |
"
Analyze That regurgitates and waters down many of the previous film's successes, with a few new swings thrown in."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 22, 2002
|
|
2/5
|
50%
|
The Emperor's Club (2002) |
"
The Emperor's Club is a nerd's version of Dead Poets Society...but lacking the wonder, revelation and charisma of the latter."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 16, 2002
|
|
2/5
|
15%
|
I Spy (2002) |
"
The film is overloaded with self-destruct modes, override codes and cocky Murphyisms discharged with machine-gun relentlessness."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 6, 2002
|
|
2/5
|
55%
|
The Santa Clause 2 - The Mrs. Clause (2002) |
"
SC2 is an autopilot Hollywood concoction lacking in imagination and authentic Christmas spirit, yet it's geared toward an audience full of masters of both."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 6, 2002
|
|
2.5/5
|
63%
|
Acts Of Worship (2003) |
"
Rodriguez depicts addicts as a sea of agitated vultures haunting the streets...counteracted by character confrontations forced to move too quickly and predictable plot turns."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 8, 2004
|
|
2.5/5
|
75%
|
House of Sand and Fog (2003) |
"
By the end, you feel as if you've been hit over the head with a bloody dead dove, with someone screaming, "Tragedy! Tragedy! Tragedy!" in your sore ear."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 31, 2003
|
|
2.5/5
|
42%
|
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003) |
"
Hudson needs a little more time to hone her comedic skills before she can charm us through all the watery spots in the film's hot-laughs and cold-jokes script."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 21, 2003
|
|
2.5/5
|
23%
|
Biker Boyz (2003) |
"
It'll leave you with a monster-rally headache and a craving for something salty."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 6, 2003
|
|
2.5/5
|
83%
|
Narc (2002) |
"
...Liotta is put in an impossible spot because his character's deceptions ultimately undo him and the believability of the entire scenario. Too bad."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 20, 2003
|
|
2.5/5
|
65%
|
Evelyn (2002) |
"
The film's lack of personality permeates all its aspects - from the TV movie-esque, affected child acting to the dullest Irish pub scenes ever filmed."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 1, 2003
|
|
2.5/5
|
74%
|
His Secret Life (Le Fate ignoranti) (2001) |
"
With all the sympathy, empathy and pity fogging up the screen...His Secret Life enters the land of unintentional melodrama and tiresome love triangles."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 25, 2002
|
|
2.5/5
|
10%
|
Juwanna Mann (2002) |
"
'Wouldn't it be nice if all guys got a taste of what it's like on the other side of the bra?'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 4, 2002
|
|
2.5/5
|
47%
|
The Banger Sisters (2002) |
"
'The Banger Sisters leaves you with a smile [but]...loses its imaginative bite...when all the ugly loose ends are neatly and unnaturally tied in a Hollywood bow.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 27, 2002
|
|
2.5/5
|
50%
|
The Château (2001) |
"
'The Château is never quite able to overcome the cultural moat surrounding its ludicrous and contrived plot.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 11, 2002
|
|
2.5/5
|
66%
|
Me Without You (2002) |
"
'Me Without You is one-sided...[but] the film has a wonderful knack for capturing each decade's zeitgeist...'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 17, 2002
|
|
2.5/5
|
30%
|
Scooby-Doo (2002) |
"
'...the cast portrays their cartoon counterparts well...but quite frankly, Scoob and Shag don't eat enough during the film.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 7, 2002
|
|
3/5
|
43%
|
Latter Days (2004) |
"
...Funny, tragic, occasionally cheesy, endearing and ultimately heartwarming, dealing with very serious Christian hypocrisy while holding onto a light, life-embracing tone."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 8, 2004
|
|
3/5
|
46%
|
Eurotrip (2003) |
"
Eurotrip delivers a savvy potty jocularity, probably because some of that European culture rubbed off on the penis jokes."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 12, 2004
|
|
3/5
|
48%
|
Porn Theatre (2003) |
"
If nothing else, your curiosity should be sadly satisfied."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 31, 2003
|
|
3/5
|
60%
|
Te amo (Made in Chile) (2006) |
"
Even annoying people have meaningful stories to tell, and there could just be a pretty potent reason behind all that senseless rebellion."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted May 15, 2003
|
|
3/5
|
83%
|
Baraka (1993) |
"
[It] begins like a National Geographic tour....a vacation from dialogue and narrative, traveling strictly on imagery... [but]Baraka gets old before the 93 minutes are up."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 13, 2003
|
|
3/5
|
83%
|
Real Women Have Curves (2002) |
"
Real Women Have Curves makes for a refreshing mother-daughter outing that will leave you with an empowered smile, a newborn respect for all changes of life and a craving for flan."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 18, 2002
|
|
3/5
|
82%
|
Secret Ballot (2002) |
"
'...[A] contemplation of the significance, absurdities and/or insignificance of the electoral process...[however] Payami gets his point across long before the film ends, with a message that can't help but hit us over the head...'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 16, 2002
|
|
3/5
|
59%
|
Skins (2002) |
"
'Like a child with an important message to tell...[Skins'] faults are easy to forgive because the intentions are lofty.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 12, 2002
|
|
3/5
|
25%
|
Snipes (2002) |
"
'...Mafia, rap stars and hood rats butt their ugly heads in a regurgitation of cinematic violence that gives brutal birth to an unlikely, but likable, hero.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 4, 2002
|
|
3/5
|
76%
|
Igby Goes Down (2002) |
"
'Igby Goes Down...is an attractive, quick-witted but ultimately vacuous coming-of-age movie that never actually comes of age...'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 27, 2002
|
|
3/5
|
9%
|
Stealing Harvard (2002) |
"
'Stealing Harvard is a weird "funny" that works...transmogrifying the film into a charming, moronic foray worth your time.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 23, 2002
|
|
3/5
|
48%
|
City by the Sea (2002) |
"
'De Niro...is a veritable source of sincere passion that this Hollywood contrivance orbits around.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 11, 2002
|
|
3/5
|
30%
|
The Country Bears (2002) |
"
'...both hokey and super-cool, and definitely not in a hurry, so sit back, relax and have a few laughs while the little ones get a fuzzy treat.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 21, 2002
|
|
3/5
|
84%
|
Margaret Cho - Notorious C.H.O. (2002) |
"
'...it's better to see her show live in the flash and flesh, but watching Notorious C.H.O. is better than no Cho at all.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 21, 2002
|
|
3/5
|
48%
|
Eight Legged Freaks (2002) |
"
'Eight Legged Freaks is drive-in-flavored arachnid anarchy...[a]cinematic fun ride where creepy-crawly things constantly pop out from off-screen.'"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 12, 2002
|
|
3.5/5
|
76%
|
Bon Voyage (2004) |
"
If you've got a hankering for a bullet-flinging, romantic, film noir roller coaster, Bon Voyage is the ticket."
—
Orlando Weekly
Posted May 22, 2004
|
|
3.5/5
|
64%
|
Starsky & Hutch (2004) |
"
Phillips pushes for laughs more than the show did, but still manages a weird mix of comedy, serious crime fighting and irony inside the scariest fashion decade of all time."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 12, 2004
|
|
3.5/5
|
71%
|
Cold Mountain (2003) |
"
Cold Mountain is haunted by the earmarks of a TV mini-series... [but] left me in a dreamy state of mind..."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 24, 2003
|
|
3.5/5
|
58%
|
Girls Will Be Girls (2003) |
"
...an explosion of bad taste swallowed, and occasionally spit back out, over and over again, culminating in fashionable she/he cat fights by the pool."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 12, 2003
|
|
3.5/5
|
71%
|
Soft for Digging (2005) |
"
...leaves a gruesome aftertaste à la The Ring...[however] its strengths lie elsewhere."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jun 3, 2003
|
|
3.5/5
|
82%
|
Brigadoon (1954) |
"
Brigadoon[is]...a concocted Technicolor plaid-clad Garden of Eden with a "puppet show" residue."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 6, 2003
|
|
3.5/5
|
75%
|
The Way Home (Jibeuro) (2002) |
"
The Way Home is an ode to unconditional love and compassion garnered from years of seeing it all, a condition only the old are privy to, and...often misconstrued as weakness."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 23, 2003
|
|
3.5/5
|
69%
|
Personal Velocity: Three Portraits (2002) |
"
Personal Velocity seems tailor-made for art-house audiences. It still cradles that short-story essence...but takes it to a place that stretches just beyond the page."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 16, 2002
|
68%
——
98%
