|
F
|
10%
|
Season of the Witch (2011) |
"
The only time I was even modestly entertained was when the 10-year-old boy sitting behind me (obviously taken out of school to see the film by his model parents) started belching unrelentingly at the screen."
—
Fort Bend Sun
Posted Jan 10, 2011
|
|
F
|
54%
|
Mamma Mia! (2008) |
"
The only way to make Abba songs sound worse than they already are is to have them spring forth from the mouths of Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jul 15, 2008
|
|
F
|
19%
|
Rush Hour 3 (2007) |
"
Shame on you Jackie, Chris, Brett, and Jeff - you are all better than this."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Aug 8, 2007
|
|
F
|
15%
|
The Wicker Man (2006) |
"
This is the kind of film for which Golden Raspberries were invented."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Aug 31, 2006
|
|
F
|
6%
|
A Sound of Thunder (2005) |
"
The special effects in this pic make Land of the Lost look like Jurassic Park."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Sep 1, 2005
|
|
F
|
4%
|
The Whole Ten Yards (2003) |
"
The Passion was funnier than this tripe."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Apr 7, 2004
|
|
F
|
16%
|
The Big Bounce (2004) |
"
Like a black hole devouring the universe, this film will suck your money, your time, and your life right out of you."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Jan 29, 2004
|
|
F
|
12%
|
Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights (2002) |
"
It didn't warm my heart, but it sure did give me a headache. What a horrible, horrible film."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Nov 28, 2002
|
|
F-
|
2%
|
The Master of Disguise (2002) |
"
I cannot disguise my feelings - this film sucks."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Aug 6, 2002
|
|
F
|
39%
|
Men in Black II (2002) |
"
a galactic waste of time"
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Jul 4, 2002
|
|
F
|
22%
|
Enough (2002) |
"
it is as predictable as that fifth bite of liver you hate to eat: you know what it's going to taste like, and you know that it's going to suck."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Jun 5, 2002
|
|
D-
|
21%
|
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) |
"
An inconvenient spoof."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Dec 12, 2008
|
|
D-
|
37%
|
Street Kings (2008) |
"
This film has Eric Roberts and Don 'The Dragon' Wilson straight-to-DVD written all over it."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Apr 10, 2008
|
|
D-
|
23%
|
Balls of Fury (2007) |
"
Someone needs to take a paddle to the filmmakers."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Aug 30, 2007
|
|
D-
|
14%
|
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007) |
"
Each and every character is cookie cutter stupid and I couldn't wait to leave the theater."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jul 19, 2007
|
|
D-
|
13%
|
Stealth (2005) |
"
Stealth should live up to its name by flying into and out of theaters without anyone knowing it was even there."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jul 28, 2005
|
|
D-
|
26%
|
The Princess Diaries 2 - Royal Engagement (2004) |
"
If you only have one month to live - go see this movie (because every minute will seem like an eternity). "
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Aug 10, 2004
|
|
D-
|
2%
|
Half Past Dead (2002) |
"
Seagal ran out of movies years ago, and this is just the proof."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Nov 25, 2002
|
|
D
|
7%
|
Whiteout (2009) |
"
At first I thought they were trying to do a film noir thing with the dialogue, but then I realized that it was just bad writing made worse by horrendous line delivery."
—
Fort Bend Sun
Posted Sep 13, 2009
|
|
D
|
32%
|
The X-Files: I Want to Believe (The X Files 2) (2008) |
"
A complete waste of theater space."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jul 25, 2008
|
|
D
|
18%
|
The Happening (2008) |
"
Someday someone will stop bankrolling Shyamalan's dumb dreams and keep this kind of tripe from happening."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jun 15, 2008
|
|
D
|
11%
|
Fool's Gold (2008) |
"
There is very little chemistry between McConaughey and Hudson, and yet they make another movie together."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Feb 5, 2008
|
|
D
|
63%
|
Clerks II (2006) |
"
I like trashy humor, but there is not much here to chuckle at."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jul 20, 2006
|
|
D
|
15%
|
Garfield - The Movie (2004) |
"
This movie sucks fur balls."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jun 10, 2004
|
|
D
|
12%
|
Timeline (2003) |
"
I can certainly empathize with the characters in this film because for two hours I too was in Medieval Hell. "
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Dec 1, 2003
|
|
D
|
56%
|
Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003) |
"
This is like a ninety minute version of one of those really bad movies that you would wait two hours to see at Six Flags. "
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Nov 9, 2003
|
|
D
|
33%
|
In the Cut (2003) |
"
The violence is pointless, the mystery too easy and the audience too apathetic."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Nov 2, 2003
|
|
D
|
7%
|
Gigli (2003) |
"
Gigli is so horrible I had to go cleanse my palate afterward by watching Glitter."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Jul 29, 2003
|
|
D
|
28%
|
Daddy Day Care (2003) |
"
Murphy needs to do two things: fire his agent, and learn to discern when a script is worth doing or not."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted May 10, 2003
|
|
D
|
8%
|
Kangaroo Jack (2003) |
"
Unfortunately, Warren's looks couldn't save this piece of marsupial dung."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Jan 16, 2003
|
|
D
|
3%
|
fear dot com (FeardotCom) (2002) |
"
It may not be very scary, but at least it's funnier than Master of Disguise."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Sep 3, 2002
|
|
D
|
53%
|
Blood Work (2002) |
"
I would have rather watched Clint's heart transplant than this lethargic, poorly made movie."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Aug 9, 2002
|
|
D+
|
28%
|
Clash of the Titans (2010) |
"
This really is all action and no adventure. There is not a moment where Perseus looks like he is astonished that these things are happening to him for the first time."
—
Fort Bend Sun
Posted Apr 4, 2010
|
|
D+
|
13%
|
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008) |
"
Were you to watch this film with the volume off, it might be a fairly good adventure film."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Aug 2, 2008
|
|
D+
|
21%
|
Semi-Pro (2008) |
"
Step on up and see Ferrell shoot an air ball!"
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Feb 28, 2008
|
|
D+
|
37%
|
Rambo (Rambo IV) (2008) |
"
Last Blood (fingers crossed)."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jan 31, 2008
|
|
D+
|
14%
|
Hitman (2007) |
"
It might have helped to give the hero a real back story, rather than a jumbled montage opening credit sequence, but overall, this film is pretty much an unfixable mess from the start."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Nov 22, 2007
|
|
D+
|
44%
|
Night at the Museum (2006) |
"
From more talented hands, this could have been an all-time classic, but instead we end up with a major disappointment."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Dec 21, 2006
|
|
D+
|
21%
|
You, Me and Dupree (2006) |
"
Every situation is completely contrived and almost wants to prove it to you."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jul 14, 2006
|
|
D+
|
40%
|
Running Scared (2006) |
"
A film with ADD."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Feb 25, 2006
|
|
D+
|
27%
|
Fantastic Four (2005) |
"
A lousy excuse for a big-budget action film. "
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jul 11, 2005
|
|
D+
|
10%
|
The Wedding Date (2005) |
"
Mulroney is like a young Stallone - and he's got half the acting ability to prove it."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Feb 7, 2005
|
|
D+
|
38%
|
Meet The Fockers (2004) |
"
This pic is pretty Focking lame."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Dec 19, 2004
|
|
D+
|
10%
|
Taxi (2004) |
"
There isn't anything especially witty, and Latifah's transforming taxi is just plain stupid."
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Oct 11, 2004
|
|
D+
|
32%
|
King Arthur (2004) |
"
This feels more like your average TBS movie of the week and much less like a major motion picture. "
—
Beaumont Journal
Posted Jul 5, 2004
|
|
D+
|
64%
|
Starsky & Hutch (2004) |
"
A three-decade-old waste of time. "
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Mar 9, 2004
|
|
D+
|
22%
|
Bulletproof Monk (2003) |
"
For being bulletproof, this monk sure does have a lot of holes!"
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Apr 21, 2003
|
|
D+
|
13%
|
Ghost Ship (2002) |
"
They should have left this ship alone and saved me ninety minutes."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Oct 28, 2002
|
|
D+
|
22%
|
The Tuxedo (2002) |
"
In the two words of the soul master James Brown himself, before you sit down to watch this movie, "Get up" and go see something else instead."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Oct 1, 2002
|
|
D+
|
0%
|
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002) |
"
The film makers treat this movie like we already know the characters and they need no development."
—
KBTV-NBC (Beaumont, TX)
Posted Sep 20, 2002
|
68%
——
98%
