Critics » Bill White » Rotten
Bill White

Bill White

Agrees with the Tomatometer 71% of the time.

Publications:
Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Total Reviews:
292

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 292
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
F 62% Cthulhu (2008) " H.P. Lovecraft has a history of mistreatment in the cinema, but nothing comes near the abomination of Cthulhu, which not only desecrates Lovecraft, but film craft." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Sep 11, 2008
F 37% Keeping Up With The Steins (2006) " 'Why don't you just flush the money down the toilet?' asks one character. The same might be asked of the people who produced this bomb." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Jun 8, 2006
F 17% Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2005) " Get Rich or Die Tryin' is a disaster on all levels." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Nov 9, 2005
D 25% Nobel Son (2008) " That the ending makes no sense doesn't matter nearly as much as the fact that we wouldn't care even if it did." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Dec 4, 2008
D 82% The Silence Before Bach (Die Stille vor Bach) (2007) " A dog watches its blind master tune a piano. It's only 10 minutes into The Silence Before Bach and already I am bored as that dog." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Aug 1, 2008
D 75% The Hammer (2007) " Like a television show, The Hammer wields that mysterious power to keep you watching even though you know it isn't any good." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Apr 21, 2008
D 24% Shrooms (2008) " From the distorting lens used randomly to suggest unreality, to the twist ending lifted verbatim from the superior High Tension, it's about as imaginative as a portobello steak with onions." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Feb 7, 2008
D 85% War Dance (2007) " Directors Sean and Andrea Fine have set out to make an inspirational film about the transcendent power of music in a war zone. What they have achieved is a piece of emotional pornography." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Nov 29, 2007
D 80% Honour of the Knights (Quixotic) (Honor de Cavallería) (2007) " Albert Serra's reduction of Don Quixote, the greatest novel in the Spanish language, to a two character sketch emulating Beckett's Waiting for Godot, is among cinema's greatest insults to literature." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Nov 9, 2007
D 33% Self Medicated (2006) " While it is unfortunate that Monty Lapica had to live through the events portrayed in Self Medicated, it is even more unfortunate that he felt compelled not only to write and direct a film based on those events but to star in it as well." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Aug 30, 2007
D 60% Them (Ils) (2007) " That it is based on a true story does not compensate for the absence of either suspense or horror." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Aug 23, 2007
D 79% Ghosts of Cité Soleil (2006) " Dutch director Leth is so enamored of the ugliness of it all that he doesn't even try to penetrate the noisy bravado that obscures the patches of truth that lie beneath the surface." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Aug 9, 2007
D 84% Manufactured Landscapes (2007) " [The filmmakers] try hard, but fail to present the Industrial Revolution, which began in the late 18th century, as something new and terrifying." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Jul 12, 2007
D 11% The Architect (2006) " ... The Architect is filled with ciphers and symbols, without a smidgen of narrative reason to hold it together." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Dec 7, 2006
D 29% Tideland (2006) " When the little girl tells her decapititated doll, 'It's not just a bad dream,' she is right. It's just a bad movie." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Nov 2, 2006
D 29% Zen Noir (2006) " Writer/director Marc Rosenbush's first film, from the false toughness of its surface to its soft, pulpy heart, will please neither aficionados of the detective genre nor devotees of Eastern religion." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Oct 26, 2006
D 60% Love Is the Drug (Addicted to Her Love) (2006) " Where is Bret Easton Ellis when you need him?" — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Oct 5, 2006
D 63% Jackass: Number Two (2006) " There are worse things to be found in the slimiest corners of the Internet, but this second film installment of the MTV series brings the lowest excesses of webcam exhibitionism to the mutiplex." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Sep 22, 2006
D 43% We Go Way Back (2011) " First time director Lynn Shelton breaks too many narrative laws for it to work as a feature." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Sep 14, 2006
D 48% Idlewild (2006) " The most ridiculous period film since rappers took on the Old West in Posse." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Aug 25, 2006
D 26% The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green (2006) " The drawings of Eric Orner's comic strip on which the movie is based are more animated than the actors who fail to give any dimension to their characters." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Aug 3, 2006
D 40% Running Scared (2006) " Writer/director Wayne Kramer's approach to storytelling is to withhold any information that might give away the plot. The film is a string of violent confrontations between characters whose relationships to each other are unclear." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Feb 23, 2006
D 7% Undiscovered (2005) " Undiscovered promotes one of the stupidest visions of the entertainment industry since American Idol opened the celebrity gateway to the dregs of the karaoke generation." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Aug 25, 2005
D 84% Mysterious Skin (2005) " Just another trashy look at America as the land of imbecilic perverts." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Jun 17, 2005
D 1% Alone in the Dark (2005) " Director Uwe Boll (House of the Dead) has made a cottage industry out of this kind of junk. Maybe it's time for him to close up shop." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Jan 28, 2005
D 57% Prey for Rock & Roll (2003) " Take an amateur playwright with an ax to grind, a novice director without the slightest idea of what he is doing and an actress who confuses sleaze with grittiness, and you have the makings of a first-rate flop." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Oct 2, 2003
90% Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing (2006) " The film suffers from its non-linear approach to the subject." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Nov 25, 2006
C- 50% The Feature (2008) " In a rare moment of personal illumination, he admits that "sometimes there are artists who are just no good." If nothing else, The Feature proves this statement." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Jan 5, 2009
C- 60% Humboldt County (2008) " For an idea of how Humboldt County plays, imagine a Lifetime original movie about a loveable but pathetic couple who passed their druggy lifestyle on to the next generation." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Sep 26, 2008
C- —— Church on Dauphine Street: One Katrina Story (2008) " The stories told here deserve their place in the oral history of the Katrina disaster, but are too insubstantial to necessitate feature-length documentation." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Aug 22, 2008
C- 68% CSNY Déjà Vu (2008) " Rather than keeping the camera aimed at the stage, Young collaborates with television journalist Mile Cerre to fashion several 60 Minutes-styled episodes on things he wishes to either promote or expose." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Jul 24, 2008
C- 80% Yella (2008) " This German rip-off of Herk Harvey's 1962 Carnival of Souls replaces the junky eeriness of the original with a disassociated pretentiousness that is more irritating than creepy." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Jul 11, 2008
C- 63% Passing Poston (2008) " ... might have made a fascinating story were it researched more thoroughly and presented with clarity." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Jun 20, 2008
C- 21% Meet Bill (2008) " For those whose idea of hilarity is an adult and a kid throwing fireworks at each other, then getting stoned and playing piggyback in the mall, this movie should be a refreshing tonic." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted May 23, 2008
C- 74% Outsourced (2007) " A dreadfully obvious and predictable romantic comedy." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Sep 27, 2007
C- 44% In the Land of Women (2007) " Most of this is harmless enough, but Kasdan's Hollywood logic is simply too implausible." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Apr 19, 2007
C- 22% Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing & Charm School (2006) " Not only are the shifts in time unclear, but the film lacks a stable emotional tone." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Apr 6, 2006
C- 42% Just Friends (2005) " Just Friends is a dumb teen comedy." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Nov 23, 2005
C- 78% Tupac - Resurrection (2003) " MTV offers an airbrushed portrait that does nothing but perpetuate the myth of an 'angelic' hoodlum." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Nov 17, 2003
C 52% Shuttle (2008) " Instead of suspense, we get frustration at the stupidity of the characters." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Mar 12, 2009
C 66% Save Me (1993) " As a movie, it doesn't amount to much more than an after school-special with sex and profanity." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Dec 19, 2008
C 56% Sukiyaki Western Django (2008) " Director Takashi Miike's dish of sukiyaki spaghetti ala Sergio Corbucci is badly seasoned with scraps of reservoir dogs." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Oct 2, 2008
C 56% Stealing America: Vote by Vote (2008) " more likely to depress voters than to galvanize them." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Sep 18, 2008
C 76% A Jihad for Love (2008) " It is presented as an inside view of the issue, but bears the judgmental stamp of the outsider, almost to the point of cultural exploitation." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Sep 5, 2008
C 57% Monster Camp (2008) " The film provides a voyeuristic peek into the fantasy lives of nerds but becomes repetitive and tiresome in the second half." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Aug 8, 2008
C 88% Reprise (2006) " Reprise is an ordinary tale of post-adolescent angst that would benefit from a cleaner plot line, clearer characterizations and more intriguing situations." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Jul 28, 2008
C 30% War, Inc. (2008) " Its comedy too often blunders into meaningless slapstick, with bombs and bloodshed replacing pratfalls and pies in the face." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted Jun 13, 2008
C 30% Young Yakuza (2008) " Plays more like a bad feature than a documentary." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted May 23, 2008
C 83% The Dhamma Brothers (2008) " The film does a poor job of explaining the discipline or how it works, and naively takes the convicts' testimonials at face value." — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted May 8, 2008
C —— Maiko haaaan!!! (2007) " Imagine Moe Howard of the Three Stooges as Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, and you might get an inkling of the monotone slapstick filling two long hours of Maiko Haaaan!!!" — Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Posted May 1, 2008
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