Critics » Mike Long » Rotten
Mike Long

Mike Long

Agrees with the Tomatometer 69% of the time.

Publications:
DVD Review e-zine , DVDSleuth.com , DVDTalk.com , Gorezone , JackassCritics.com
Total Reviews:
1140
Total QuickRatings:
18

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 1140
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
0/5 30% The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011) " Simply put, this movie is garbage. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Feb 9, 2012
0/5 —— Wrong Turn 4 (2011) " In the original, there was an air of mystery around the killers. Here, they are simply the Larry, Darryl and Darryl of deformed carnage. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Oct 29, 2011
0/5 —— Triloquist (2008) " The words "student film" first came to mind, but then I remembered that I was once a film student and I realized just how offended that I would be by that comment." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Jul 2, 2008
0.5/5 —— Hellacious Acres: The Case Of John Glass (2012) " The movie fails on all fronts, and it's simply a repetitive, low-rent bore. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Apr 16, 2012
0.5/5 —— Camel Spiders (2012) " A movie set around this urban legend is actually a good idea, but the execution here is all wrong. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Mar 19, 2012
0.5/5 —— Snow White A Deadly Summer (2012) " This barely qualifies as a movie." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Feb 29, 2012
0.5/5 15% Shark Night 3D (2011) " I honestly can't think of a positive thing to say about Shark Night." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Jan 4, 2012
0.5/5 —— Psychic Experiment (2011) " There is nothing appealing about the movie, save for the fact that it would make the perfect bad-movie party fodder." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Dec 11, 2011
0.5/5 —— Chillerama (2011) " The horror comedy is one of the most difficult genres to pull off and Chillerama shows that good intentions and a love for the genre won't get you very far. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Dec 6, 2011
0.5/5 —— Dahmer vs. Gacy (2011) " There's a scene here where two characters discuss the idea of the story being made into a movie and how that would be a movie which no one would want to watch. This was so meta that I almost went back in time. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted May 19, 2011
0.5/5 21% H2: Halloween II (2009) " Not only is it the worst movie that I've seen from 2009, it's also one of the worst movies ever made." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Jan 10, 2010
0.5/5 11% Big Stan (2009) " Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for joke-after-joke about prison rape. (And hopefully, I'll never be in that mood.)" — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Mar 25, 2009
0.5/5 3% The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008) " There are no ghosts in the film. They probably asked some ghosts to be in the film, but they read the script and said, "Look, I'm dead, but my career isn't."" — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Feb 25, 2009
1/10 2% Epic Movie (2007) JackassCritics.com
Posted Sep 18, 2008
1/10 7% Date Movie (2006) JackassCritics.com
Posted Sep 18, 2008
0.5/5 2% Meet the Spartans (2008) " These "filmmakers" continue to prove that don't understand comedy or the concept of a spoof." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Jun 4, 2008
0.5/5 25% Botched (2008) " Botched is an exercise in tedium and bare-bones movie-making which would drive the most patient viewer to flee from the room." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Apr 28, 2008
0.5/5 —— Dead Clowns (2007) " Dead Clowns sounds as if it would be the perfect film for those who suffer from coulrophobia, or the fear of clowns. Rather, it will only disturb those who suffer from a fear of movies which are out of focus."" — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Mar 18, 2008
0.5/5 —— Bats: Human Harvest (Bats 2) (2007) " This is one of those films which is so mundane and pointless that it doesn't even allow the opportunity to become a Mystery Science Theater 3000-esque mockfest." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Mar 6, 2008
0.5/5 —— Unholy (2007) " In true exploitation movie fashion, there is nothing in the movie anywhere near as cool or provocative as the DVD cover art." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Mar 4, 2008
1/10 2% Epic Movie (2007) JackassCritics.com
Posted May 19, 2007
1/10 7% Date Movie (2006) JackassCritics.com
Posted Jun 24, 2006
1/10 9% Marci X (2003) JackassCritics.com
Posted Feb 18, 2004
1/5 —— Night Wolf (2012) " Leaves the impression that the filmmakers found an available building (a house which is being renovated in this case) and decided to make a movie there. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Apr 24, 2012
1/5 25% The Wicker Tree (2012) " If you're a fan of anything, save for boredom, you're going to be disappointed." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Apr 23, 2012
1/5 25% Splintered (2012) " It's truly shocking to think that it took three people to write this movie, as you would think that a trio of writers could come up with an actual story. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Mar 25, 2012
1/5 36% Immortals (2011) " Immortals is so bad that it's makes 2010's Clash of the Titans look good." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Mar 13, 2012
1/5 13% I Melt with You (2011) " When the reason for the events in the film is (sort of) revealed, it is literally one of the dumbest, most groan-inducing things I've ever seen in a movie. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Mar 3, 2012
1/5 —— Nude Nuns With Big Guns (2012) " I'm sure that some will be drawn in by the exploitation title, but they will find a needlessly dark and dumb movie which has no real entertainment value. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Feb 14, 2012
1/5 36% In Time (2011) " How ironic that a movie about people who don't have long enough to live seems to go on forever. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Feb 5, 2012
1/5 25% Spiderhole (2011) " How are we supposed to feel anything for characters who are so stupid?" — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Jan 25, 2012
1/5 17% I Don't Know How She Does It (2011) " Lazily written, poorly made, and out-of-touch with reality, I Don't Know How She Does It made me say, "I don't know why I watched that."" — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Dec 28, 2011
1/5 —— Blood of the Zombie: The Dead One (1961) DVDTalk.com
Posted Nov 22, 2011
1/5 —— The Devil's Tattoo (Ghost Rig) (2001) DVDTalk.com
Posted Nov 22, 2011
1/5 —— Dragon Tales - Adventures in Dragon Land! (2000) DVDTalk.com
Posted Nov 22, 2011
1/5 83% In Good Company (2004) DVDTalk.com
Posted Nov 22, 2011
1/5 —— Severed Head Network (2005) DVDTalk.com
Posted Nov 22, 2011
1/5 —— La Casa nel tempo (The House of Clocks) (1989) DVDTalk.com
Posted Nov 22, 2011
1/5 —— Sunset Grill (1993) DVDTalk.com
Posted Nov 22, 2011
1/5 —— Charlotte's Web 2 - Wilbur's Great Adventure (2003) DVDTalk.com
Posted Nov 22, 2011
1/5 76% Black Hawk Down (2001) DVDTalk.com
Posted Nov 22, 2011
1/5 —— Black Angel (Ángel Negro) (2000) DVDTalk.com
Posted Nov 22, 2011
1/5 —— 51 (2002) " 51 isn't so much a bad movie, as it's a needless one. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Sep 22, 2011
1/5 40% Yellowbrickroad (2011) " The interesting opening soon dissipates into scene after scene of the group walking through the wilderness." — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Aug 8, 2011
1/5 —— Cyrus: Mind Of A Serial Killer (2010) " Lazy, derivative, and predictable, this murdered my hopes for ever seeing a good serial killer movie again. " — DVDSleuth.com
Posted Jun 27, 2011
1/5 —— Edgar Allan Poe's Ligeia () DVDTalk.com
Posted Apr 12, 2011
1/5 —— Special Delivery (2008) DVDTalk.com
Posted Apr 12, 2011
1/5 —— Kirei: The Terror of Beauty (2005) DVDTalk.com
Posted Apr 4, 2011
1/5 —— Extreme Dating (2004) DVDTalk.com
Posted Apr 4, 2011
1/5 —— In the Dark (2004) DVDTalk.com
Posted Apr 4, 2011
Showing 1 - 50 of 1140
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