Critics » Brent Simon » Rotten
Brent Simon

Brent Simon

Agrees with the Tomatometer 73% of the time.

Biography:
A graduate of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Brent Simon is a three-term president of LAFCA, a contributor to Screen International and Magill?s Cinema Annual, and film editor of H Magazine. He cannot abide a world without U2 and pizza.
Favorites:
Movies without Bette Midler, Barbara Streisand, Mariah Carey and Eric Schaeffer
Publications:
Entertainment Today , FilmStew.com , H Magazine , IGN Movies , Los Angeles CityBeat , Los Angeles Daily News , Now Playing Magazine , ReelzChannel.com , Screen International , Screendaily , Shared Darkness , Shockya.com
Critics' Group:
Los Angeles Film Critics Association
Total Reviews:
2092
Total QuickRatings:
11
Location:
Los Angeles, CA

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 1640
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
F 14% Hard Breakers (2011) " Woefully inept and stupendously unfunny -- a movie that slots into that special sub-category of terrible, the one that calls out for alcohol and friends with an appreciation for barbed derision." — Shockya.com
Posted May 22, 2011
F —— Scout's Honor: Badge to the Bone (2010) " Mirthless, and wearyingly broad for no discernible reason, this willfully stupid comedy is like a cinematic kick to the groin." — Shared Darkness
Posted Mar 22, 2011
F —— Frat Party (2009) " A downmarket, wildly unfunny college comedy pitched at foreign market fans of all those American Pie straight-to-DVD sequels, and those who haven't yet figured out how to use the Internet to track down pictures of boobs." — Shared Darkness
Posted Feb 28, 2010
F —— Against the Dark (2009) " Terrible, and even suffers from a paucity of Seagal. Opening dialogue: 'We're not here to decide what's wrong or right, just who lives and dies.' Whaaaaaaaaaat?" — Shared Darkness
Posted Feb 24, 2009
F 0% Polanski (Polanski Unauthorized) (2009) " A jumbled, whorish, opportunistic hot mess, multi-hyphenate Chapa's film is a fantastically terrible biopic, poorly told and riddled with repeated, confounding lapses in logic." — Shared Darkness
Posted Feb 17, 2009
F —— American Crude (2008) " American Crud is more like it -- little more than a wheel-spinning excuse for a bunch of crass stereotypes and outlandishly uninteresting oddballs to run around, spouting inanities." — Shared Darkness
Posted Jan 28, 2009
F —— Live Feed (2006) " You can often judge the quality of a low-budget flick that happens to have scenes in a strip club by the lithe attractiveness of its pole-dancers, and the girl in the opening scene of this sadistic Hostel rip-off is not exactly a toned beauty." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Sep 17, 2006
F —— Crazed (2005) " One would have to be crazy -- or just completely crazy about [Catherine] Bach -- to want to chase down Crazed." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Dec 15, 2005
F 8% Bolero (1984) (1984) " Wow. In case one was wondering, Bolero shows that Showgirls does in fact have a direct antecedent." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Nov 1, 2005
F 1% Alone in the Dark (2005) " So maniacally, fervently awful that you have to step back and cackle with glee at humanity's teeming capacity for irrelevance and self-delusion." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted May 24, 2005
F 16% xXx: State of the Union (2005) " I flat-out defy the filmmakers... to logically explain the course of action in the movie." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Apr 29, 2005
F 16% Cursed (2005) " Cursed deserves its ignominy. And not your money." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Feb 27, 2005
F 1% Alone in the Dark (2005) " They say that even ugly babies have faces their mothers love, but this is truly a film that not even hardcore genre fans could appreciate." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Jan 27, 2005
F 53% A Dirty Shame (2004) " Shrill and clamorous claptrap, a movie whose harried declamations and colorful, frenetic staging give the impression of plot in the absence of any real narrative conviction." — Entertainment Today
Posted Oct 5, 2004
F 26% Anatomy of Hell (2004) " Issues of sexual commitment, fidelity and self-worth are graphically explored with the torpid detachment of a psych major's filmic send-up of a Calvin Klein commercial..." — Entertainment Today
Posted Oct 5, 2004
F 11% Blackwoods (2002) " Blackwoods is all affected 'style,' not intelligent or clear enough to pull off its grand vision. When the final act twists come they don't feel so much shocking or intelligent as just ridiculous." — Entertainment Today
Posted Jul 18, 2003
F 55% Psycho Beach Party (2000) " If this wearying exercise in camp, rib-nudging double entendres, rhyming gollyspeak and groovy-daddio! set design wrapped around a wan murder mystery sounds like an Annette Funicello movie gone to hell, it at least succeeds on one level." — Entertainment Today
Posted Nov 18, 2002
F 17% Abandon (2002) " A muddy psychological thriller rife with miscalculations. It makes me say the obvious: Abandon all hope of a good movie ye who enter here." — Entertainment Today
Posted Oct 21, 2002
0/5 22% Son in Law (1993) — Entertainment Today
Posted Sep 12, 2002
F 3% fear dot com (FeardotCom) (2002) " Completely creatively stillborn and executed in a manner that I'm not sure could be a single iota worse... a soulless hunk of exploitative garbage." — Entertainment Today
Posted Sep 6, 2002
F 11% Freddy Got Fingered (2001) " A crime against humanity." — Entertainment Today
Posted Aug 30, 2002
F 48% Bamboozled (2000) " Empty-headed and unspeakably undisciplined... [the] question bears asking: Has Spike Lee -- the living, breathing antithesis of subtlety -- gone completely insane?" — Entertainment Today
Posted Aug 30, 2002
F 5% New Best Friend (2002) " [Less a movie than] an appalling, odoriferous thing... so rotten in almost every single facet of production that you'll want to crawl up your own *** in embarrassment." — Entertainment Today
Posted Aug 27, 2002
F+ 24% Wirey Spindell (1999) " A naked attempt at Jerry Maguire-style profundity that elicited 47 temple rubs and 13 audible Jesuses between my companion and I... the comedic equivalent of flat soda." — Entertainment Today
Posted Aug 27, 2002
F 9% The Skulls (2000) " With large amounts of alcohol and the right friends, it might be a Mystery Science Theater 3000-level hoot. Otherwise, The Skulls is a crime against humanity." — Entertainment Today
Posted Aug 26, 2002
F 19% Lara Croft - Tomb Raider (2001) " A mindless Taco Bell commercial - errrrr... summer effects vehicle that is utterly and depressingly devoid of any and all human drama... Grade-A feces." — Entertainment Today
Posted Aug 26, 2002
F 17% The Boondock Saints (1999) " A ridiculous, self-important amalgamation of rehashed macho posturing and slow-motion bloodletting. Do yourself a favor: do not attend a convocation with these Saints." — Entertainment Today
Posted Aug 26, 2002
F+ 48% XXX (2002) " Soulless and -- even more damning -- virtually joyless, XXX achieves near virtuosity in its crapulence." — Entertainment Today
Posted Aug 21, 2002
D- —— Suing the Devil (2011) " Aiming for some theoretical sweet spot between comedy, courtroom drama and Up-with-Jesus! sermonizing, this inane film can't even be saved via attempted personality transfusion from Malcolm McDowell. 'Trial of the century,' huh? Only in movie hell." — Shockya.com
Posted May 5, 2012
D- —— Mardi Gras: Spring Break (2011) " An unsubtle and roundly unfunny stinker, and the sort of film that no cast member would bring up freely of their own volition in any interview. Hell, even Carmen Electra (who cameos as herself) probably feels some shame about her participation." — Shockya.com
Posted Oct 14, 2011
D- 0% The Abduction Of Zack Butterfield (2011) " A terrible, muddled and ultimately yawning psychosexual kidnap drama. So inept and risible that it makes the case there should be some sort of creative gatekeeper, even for indie cinematic efforts." — Shockya.com
Posted May 27, 2011
D- 13% The Big Bang (2011) " A colossally strange film noir misfire, The Big Bang tries to inject the soupy moodiness of the noir genre with a surfeit of cool and edgy thrills, but, ironically, it's actually just a big snooze." — Shockya.com
Posted May 22, 2011
D- —— InAlienable (2010) " Sci-fi courtroom/social drama Inalienable could be called My Octopus Son. But I'd rather not give one the impression it has that much "so-bad-it's-good" entertainment value." — Shared Darkness
Posted Jan 27, 2010
D- 6% All About Steve (2009) " A special sort of trainwreck that unfolds like some fever-dream mash-up of Anchorman, Mad Love, Heather Graham's Committed and a tossed-off improv sketch. A terrible movie, meriting debate only insofar as whether personal preference r" — Shared Darkness
Posted Sep 4, 2009
D- —— Kill Switch (2008) " With alcohol and a quick-witted group of right-minded action fans, this could be enjoyed as a comedy, because that's how poorly the action is cut together." — Shared Darkness
Posted Feb 23, 2009
D- 10% Eaten Alive (1976) " This bayou-set, thinly imagined Psycho knock-off is little more than a derisible piece of slasher mayhem, notable for Tobe Hooper's association and costar Roberta Collins' assertion that star Neville Brand later tried to sexually assault her." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Sep 23, 2006
D- —— Shockheaded (2002) " A wrongheaded blend of Alan Parker, Raymond Chandler, David Cronenberg and David Lynch that desperately wants to stir up, in noirish fashion, elements of the psychological thriller, horror and revenge genres [and] fails, wholesale." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Sep 17, 2006
D- 73% Cavite (2006) " Arbitrarily arranged and awfully acted... proof positive that well-meaning creative wishes and savvy, low-fi merging of production means and narrative concept doesn't automatically produce heady results." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Sep 17, 2006
D- 13% Rebound (2005) " Piles one gloriously misbegotten cliché and set piece on top of another." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Jul 1, 2005
D- 9% Leonard Pt. 6 () " It's hard to say definitively what the nadir of Leonard Part 6 is..." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Jun 20, 2005
D- —— Rendez-vous (1987) " A swirling mass of vagueness and irrational acting out." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted May 2, 2005
D- 48% XXX (2002) " If this were porn it would be cross-catalogued under 'gonzo/wall-to-wall.' And it still wouldn't be the good kind." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Apr 27, 2005
D- 4% Fascination (2005) " Lurid, lazy and altogether awful..." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Jan 27, 2005
D- 60% Assault on Precinct 13 (2005) " An embarrassment for all involved." — Now Playing Magazine
Posted Jan 19, 2005
D- —— Swimming Upstream (2005) " Management of tone is everything in tales this sentimental, and Swimming Upstream is ploddingly obvious and mawkish -- all desultory domestic scenes and bad monologues." — Entertainment Today
Posted Oct 5, 2004
D- 70% Father and Son (2004) " It's hard to imagine a more jointly artful and mind-numbingly off-putting cinematic experience... Father and Son is the virtual definition of tedium." — Entertainment Today
Posted Jul 13, 2004
D- 0% Close Call (2004) " A poorly executed DIY production replete with all the un-tethered irresponsibility and overly demonstrative signifiers one would expect." — Entertainment Today
Posted Apr 26, 2004
D- 7% Gigli (2003) " A grade-A misfire, fantastically uninvolving, a cinematic train wreck of slacked-jawed, distinguished proportions. Read on for more fun..." — Entertainment Today
Posted Aug 5, 2003
D- 9% The Bachelor (1999) " A terrible film that witlessly unfurls its limp narrative. If you've seen the trailer, you've seen the film." — Entertainment Today
Posted Jan 16, 2003
D- 50% Scarlet Diva (2000) " A clutchy, indulgent and pretentious travelogue and diatribe against... well, just stuff. Watching Scarlet Diva, one is poised for titillation, raw insight or both. Instead, we just get messy anger, a movie as personal therapy." — Entertainment Today
Posted Sep 23, 2002
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