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Critics / Edward Havens / Worst
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    FilmJerk.com

EDWARD HAVENS

Agrees with the Tomatometer 69% of the time.

Biography: Edward Havens currently serves as the Publisher and Editor-In-Chief of FilmJerk.com. Since 1972, he has worked as an extra, actor, production assistant and assistant director on a number of feature films and shorts. He has also written several screenplays, none which were recently optioned. Edward likes kitties, ice cream, books with more words than pictures and DVDs with director's commentary. He blames Hunter S. Thompson, Lenny Bruce, Terry Southern, the collective members of Monty Python, Michael O'Donoghue, Lloyd Kaufman and Andy Kaufman for helping to shape his persona. He lives in the heart of Hollywood, between Grauman's Chinese Theatre and the Cinerama Dome, with his wife.
Favorites: For the longest time, my answer would have been "Bull Durham," but I've come to realize that Cameron Crowe's director cut of "Almost Famous" is perhaps the most perfect movie ever made. Other favorites include "Brazil," "The Third Man," "L.A. Confidential," "My Man Godfrey," most of the films of William Powell and Myrna Loy, "Sullivan's Travels" and "Bring It On."

Publications: FilmJerk.com

Critics' Group: Online Film Critics Society

Total Reviews: 278
Total QuickRatings: 62

Location: Hollywood

WORST REVIEWED FILMS

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# a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres
Showing 1 - 0 of 44
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date (default)

Rotten
F

Fresh
69%

Loren Cass (2009)

" We're presented a small slice of life with a group of wasted teens, expected to consider this to be somehow artistic and asked to be sympathetic for their malaise."

Posted Jul 28, 2009

Rotten
F

Rotten
50%

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2009)

" Dumb kids doing dumb things for dumb reasons."

Posted May 6, 2009

Rotten
F

Rotten
14%

Blonde Ambition (2007)

" Just how bad is the latest Jessica Simpson film? It doesn't just belong on a Worst of 2007 list or even a Worst of the Decade list, but high amongst The Worst Movies Ever Made."

Posted Dec 27, 2007

Rotten
F

Rotten
26%

Fantastic Four (2005)

" Potential audiences would be better entertained by reading all the reviews to see how many synonyms can be used for the word "bad." And it would be much cheaper, too."

Posted Jul 7, 2005

Rotten
F

Rotten
43%

Palindromes (2005)

" As intelligent as tacks in Jell-O, and likely as painful to swallow."

Posted Apr 13, 2005

Rotten
F

Fresh
61%

Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)

" The nuances which made Carpenter's movie work are missing this time around, leaving little more than just another excuse to have people shoot at one another for two hours."

Posted Jan 20, 2005

Rotten
F

Rotten
26%

Chelsea Walls (2002)

" A complete waste of time."

Posted Jun 17, 2002

Rotten
D-

Fresh
77%

Baghead (2008)

" What could have been an amusing short subject, the Duplass Brothers' not-quite-horror/not-quite-comedy drags its one note premise out to an almost mind-numbing 84 minutes."

Posted Jul 25, 2008

Rotten
D-

Rotten
19%

The Hitcher (2007)

" Zachary Knighton's second-rate impersonation of Matthew Lillard's Shaggy makes one long for C. Thomas Howell's irresolute interpretation of Jim Halsey (truly an amazing feat)."

Posted Jan 19, 2007

Rotten
D-

Rotten
25%

9 Songs (2005)

" When the sex is as boring as the story and the characters which inhabit it... all we can do is rejoice the entire endeavor is over fairly quickly."

Posted Jul 21, 2005

Rotten
D-

Rotten
56%

Milk and Honey (2005)

" Without a single redeeming character or moment that rings true, audiences will likely cheer for all the bad things that happen to this truly reprehensible couple."

Posted Mar 27, 2005

Rotten
D-

Rotten
40%

D.E.B.S. (2005)

" A debacle, a debasement of common sense and debatably the worst movie to be released so far this year."

Posted Mar 24, 2005

Rotten
D-

Rotten
10%

Catwoman (2004)

" Those looking for anything approximating a storyline along with their jigglefest will just have to keep dreaming."

Posted Jul 22, 2004

Rotten
D

Rotten
39%

2012 (2009)

" Why does Roland Emmerich enjoy killing off humanity?"

Posted Nov 13, 2009

Rotten
D

Fresh
78%

Humpday (2009)

" Sadly, the most interesting characters in "Humpday" are not the main focuses of the story."

Posted Jul 10, 2009

Rotten
D

Rotten
0%

Surfer, Dude (2008)

" The number of artistically successful surfing movies can be counted on one hand, and the majority of those are documentaries."

Posted Sep 17, 2008

Rotten
D

Rotten
31%

The Babysitters (2008)

" Is Ross trying to mimic Michael Haneke, daring his audience to be disgusted by the very titillating premise which probably brought them to the movie in the first place?"

Posted May 8, 2008

Rotten
D

Rotten
48%

Wind Chill (2007)

" All surface and no depth, with an incongruous ending that makes for an unsatisfying ending to an indecisive movie."

Posted Apr 29, 2007

Rotten
D

Rotten
24%

The Da Vinci Code (2006)

" It is simply one of those movies which may have been made with the best of intentions but tries to appeal to too many people to be remotely interesting."

Posted May 18, 2006

Rotten
D

Rotten
41%

Winter Passing (2006)

" Makes too many of the same rookie filmmaker mistakes which keep similar films with smaller budgets and lesser known casts from even getting a minor theatrical release"

Posted Feb 17, 2006

Rotten
D

Rotten
32%

Imagine Me & You (2006)

" Simple and unmemorable, something to watch on a lazy evening when there is nothing else to watch on the telly and quickly forget once it's over."

Posted Jan 27, 2006

Rotten
D

Rotten
51%

Manderlay (2006)

" One should be happy to learn "Manderlay" is better than "Dogville," if only because it is forty-five minutes shorter."

Posted Jan 25, 2006

Rotten
D

Fresh
88%

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

" What was a sneaking suspicion after the first three movies has become irrefutable proof [here]: if you are not a fan of, and intimately familiar with, the Harry Potter novels, you're not welcome here"

Posted Nov 18, 2005

Rotten
D

Rotten
4%

Dirty Love (2005)

" An hour and a half of uninspired dreck."

Posted Sep 22, 2005

Rotten
D

Rotten
46%

Dark Water (2005)

" Would have been... more entertaining as an absurdist comedy about the troubles one woman will go through in order to not live in Queens, the Bronx or (God forbid) Jersey."

Posted Jul 7, 2005

Rotten
D

Rotten
14%

State Property 2 (2005)

" Those interested in annoying things like plot or plausibility are best off steering clear of this inane celebration of all things thug."

Posted Apr 13, 2005

Rotten
D

Fresh
83%

Keane (2004)

" Just another in a long line of films that tries and fails to examine the issue, taking the easy road by remaining detached from its own proceedings."

Posted Sep 13, 2005

Rotten
D

Rotten
14%

It's All About Love (2004)

" Quite simply, the film is a bore. A plodding, uninteresting, incoherent mess."

Posted Oct 30, 2004

Rotten
D

Fresh
79%

THX 1138: The Director's Cut (2004)

" Already a story without much heart, the remixed version of the 1971 film has now lost its soul."

Posted Sep 10, 2004

Rotten
D

Rotten
19%

Paparazzi (2004)

" Should only be viewed when the best other choice on television is whatever latest product Ron Popeil is selling at four in the morning."

Posted Sep 3, 2004

Rotten
D

Rotten
49%

Vanity Fair (2004)

" Dull and mostly lifeless... leaving viewers with little but a series of pretty pictures of pretty actors in pretty costumes."

Posted Aug 31, 2004

Rotten
D

Rotten
56%

Ju-On: The Grudge (2004)

" A nearly bloodless and scare-free exercise in futility, jumping from scene to scene with very little continuity and even less comprehension of the concept of true fear."

Posted Jul 21, 2004

Rotten
D

Rotten
55%

Troy (2004)

" For a film that shows nothing but utter contempt for the stories it was born of, it is strange at how much the filmmakers require the viewer to be well versed in the history"

Posted May 13, 2004

Rotten
D

Rotten
22%

Van Helsing (2004)

" A gargantuan mess of a film, which substitutes special effects for story and has not a single redeeming moment in its two hour plus running time."

Posted May 6, 2004

Rotten
D

Rotten
36%

Games People Play: New York (2004)

" If this type of entertainment is your cup of tea, you will likely be amused here."

Posted Mar 11, 2004

Rotten
D

Fresh
71%

Dogville (2003)

" Never rises to the abilities of its impressive cast, and will stretch the boundaries of acceptable tolerance with its intended audience."

Posted Mar 28, 2004

Rotten
D

Rotten
36%

Hotel (2003)

" An early favorite for Worst Film of 2003"

Posted Jul 21, 2003

Rotten
D

Rotten
36%

Spun (2003)

" Despite several fine performances, the anti-drug movie never hits whatever marks it was aiming for."

Posted May 21, 2003

Rotten
D

Rotten
28%

Teknolust (2002)

" A muddled mess of cybernetics and new-age philosophy that goes nowhere slow, despite its abbreviated 80-minute running time"

Posted Feb 19, 2004

Rotten
D

Rotten
11%

The First $20 Million is Always the Hardest (2002)

" No way I can believe this load of junk."

Posted Jan 13, 2003

Rotten
D

Rotten
34%

I Am Sam (2002)

" Liberal propoganda crap."

Posted Jun 17, 2002

Rotten
D

Fresh
62%

Ju-on: The Curse (2000)

" A nearly bloodless and scare-free exercise in futility, jumping from scene to scene with very little continuity and even less comprehension of the concept of true fear."

Posted Jun 1, 2006

Rotten
D

Fresh
89%

THX 1138 (1971)

" For a film that warns about the dangers of consumerism, one can only wonder how many more times will Mr. Lucas force this lesser work of his upon an uncaring public before he lets the film slip back into obscurity."

Posted Apr 14, 2005

Rotten
D

Rotten
47%

Martin & Orloff ()

" While there are some inspired moments of merriment, the overall product leaves much to be desired."

Posted Nov 23, 2003
Results for All Genres
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