RottenTomatoes.com
Log In | Register | What is RT?
Check out the new RT Community
  • Home
  • Movies
  • DVD
  • Celebrities
  • News
  • Critics
  • Trailers & Pictures
  • CommunityBeta
RT Search Powered by Google
help icon Enhanced RT
searches on Google
Click here to turn on enhanced search results from RT on your Google searches.
 
Critics / Kelly Parks / Movies
No picture available

    KELLY PARKS

    Agrees with the Tomatometer 75% of the time.

    Biography: I began doing stand-up in February, 1991 at the Tuesday Open Mike Night at Laff's Comedy Cafe' in Tucson, AZ. Before that I was an Aerospace Engineer specializing in Space Missions Analysis and Orbital Mechanics (a rocket scientist, literally). I got laid off, had too much free time, failed my gang initiation, so of course I turned to comedy. I worked as a full time, by god road comic from March of 1992 through December of 1997, performing all across the country. I got off the road and settled in San Diego in January, 1998, in order to spend more time with my daughter and to work on spec scripts for TV and movies. I still perform, mostly at the Comedy Store in La Jolla, CA. For the last two years of my road career I worked almost always as a feature, and have headlined two one-nighters (on both occasions, I was invited back to do it again). I taught Comedy Defensive Driving (a 6 to 8 hour class) in Texas (for 2 years) and in California (for 3 months -- the pay sucked).
    Favorites: Aliens, Rounders, Silence of the Lambs, Manhunter, Predator 2, The Andromeda Strain, Star Trek: First Contact, Colossus, Cube, Forbidden Planet, Day of the Dead, Near Dark, Quatermass and the Pit, Tremors, The Thing

    Publications: Feo Amante

    Total Reviews: 207
    Total QuickRatings: 30

    Location: San Diego, CA

    MOVIE REVIEWS ONLY

    • All
    • Movies
    • DVDs
    • Interviews
    • Best
    • Worst
    • Quick Ratings
    • Other
    • Unquoted
    Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date (default)

    Rotten
    1/5

    Rotten
    32%

    Terminator Salvation (2009)

    " And have I mentioned the gaping plot holes?"

    Posted May 25, 2009

    Rotten
    3/5

    Fresh
    95%

    Star Trek (2009)

    " Without going into too much detail (to avoid spoilers) let me just say that if you had a mini-blackhole and you wanted to use it to destroy a planet, you do NOT need to drill a hole to the center of the planet first."

    Posted May 25, 2009

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    21%

    The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

    " Klaatu is here to commit an act of genocide greater than anything Hitler, Stalin or Mao ever dreamed."

    Posted Dec 31, 2008

    Rotten
    3/5

    Fresh
    93%

    Iron Man (2008)

    " Alright, I'm done with the nitpicking. The science mistakes and the super simple plot bugged me but not enough to ruin my good time."

    Posted May 5, 2008

    Fresh
    5/5

    Fresh
    77%

    Cloverfield (2008)

    " I watched it at a midnight showing, it's now 2:25 A.M., and if I could go see it again right now I would."

    Posted Jan 18, 2008

    Rotten
    3/5

    Rotten
    13%

    Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

    " All these things add up to a decent sequel that could have used a bit more thought and a different director(s)"

    Posted Dec 28, 2007

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    69%

    I Am Legend (2007)

    " In other words, they could have had their cool ending and the original very cool ending from the novel combined, for a mega-cool ending that would have been, well, legendary."

    Posted Dec 18, 2007

    Rotten
    2/5

    Fresh
    71%

    28 Weeks Later (2007)

    " The camera is so shaky so much of the time that I had no damn idea what was going on!"

    Posted May 14, 2007

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    64%

    The Terminal Man (1974)

    " The doctors put their tuxes on and go to celebrate, intending to continue the experiment the next day. But Harry, who is much smarter than he seems, has other plans."

    Posted Apr 19, 2007

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    68%

    Snakes on a Plane (2006)

    " Sometimes bad movies are so bad their badness is entertaining. But when a movie tries to be entertainingly bad on purpose, is it a good bad movie?"

    Posted Aug 21, 2006

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    56%

    X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

    " It's boring, the dialogue is plodding and cliché-ridden, the special effects are sub-par and there are huge, gaping plot holes all over the place."

    Posted May 30, 2006

    Rotten
    1/5

    Rotten
    8%

    Ultraviolet (2006)

    " I feel bad. I really wanted to like this movie and I cut it every break I could."

    Posted Mar 7, 2006

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    20%

    Doom (2005)

    " Where were the Barons of Hell? Where was the Cyberdemon?"

    Posted Oct 20, 2005

    Rotten
    1/5

    Rotten
    7%

    A Sound of Thunder (2005)

    " If I had to choose between seeing this dog again and unanesthetized dental surgery…"

    Posted Sep 8, 2005

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    13%

    The Cave (2005)

    " You'd think they'd save that as a cool plot twist but whatever."

    Posted Aug 29, 2005

    Rotten
    3/5

    Rotten
    40%

    The Island (2005)

    " It's not doing well at the box office and, although I'm just guessing, I think the reason for that is the give-away-everything trailer."

    Posted Jul 29, 2005

    Rotten
    3/5

    Fresh
    73%

    War of the Worlds (2005)

    " George Pal's 1953 movie version of Wells' story is the true standard to measure against and Spielberg suffers by comparison."

    Posted Jun 30, 2005

    Rotten
    2/5

    Fresh
    75%

    George A. Romero's Land of the Dead (2005)

    " The movie is gory but DAY OF THE DEAD was gorier. The action is predictable and in general there's nothing special or impressive about this movie."

    Posted Jun 21, 2005

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    85%

    Batman Begins (2005)

    " To do something like this you'd have to be more than just angry or vengeful. You'd have to be obsessive and a little crazy and that's what we see!"

    Posted Jun 16, 2005

    Rotten
    1/5

    Rotten
    1%

    Alone in the Dark (2005)

    " She and Carnby have a history and an awkward love scene."

    Posted Mar 18, 2005

    Fresh
    5/5

    Fresh
    97%

    The Incredibles (2004)

    " THE INCREDIBLES is a great movie and I can't wait to see it again."

    Posted Dec 15, 2004

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    27%

    Blade: Trinity (2004)

    " In fact it's time I tell you the truth: this is not a good movie. I really wanted to like it because I liked the first two and I love the character but what is, is."

    Posted Dec 6, 2004

    Fresh
    4/5

    Rotten
    31%

    The Forgotten (2004)

    " This is the first movie of this genre that I've ever seen where the behavior of the government agents is believable rather than cartoonish."

    Posted Sep 27, 2004

    Fresh
    5/5

    Fresh
    89%

    THX 1138 (1971)

    " We don't know why or how this world came to be but that's okay. Wanting to know more is what draws you in."

    Posted Sep 13, 2004

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    27%

    Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)

    " The one thing I liked about this movie (the one and ONLY thing) was how they explained the big snakes."

    Posted Aug 31, 2004

    Fresh
    4/5

    Rotten
    22%

    Alien vs. Predator (2004)

    " Did I like AVP? No, I didn't like it. I LOVED it!"

    Posted Aug 13, 2004

    Fresh
    4/5

    Rotten
    58%

    I, Robot (2004)

    " But think about the effect on the economy if the cost of labor was effectively zero. Every product imaginable would become dirt cheap, effectively making us all millionaires."

    Posted Jul 16, 2004

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    94%

    Spider-Man 2 (2004)

    " But Doc Ock himself is just an ordinary human being, not a superhuman. That means a single Spiderman punch should have been the end of him."

    Posted Jul 2, 2004

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    45%

    The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

    " So on top of everything else, this movie is preachy, and who needs that?"

    Posted May 27, 2004

    Rotten
    1/5

    Rotten
    16%

    The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

    " In other words the source of all evil is corporate greed. How charmingly naïve."

    Posted May 23, 2004

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    76%

    Dawn of the Dead (2004)

    " It feels almost too real, in a way. It feels like you're really watching the end of the world."

    Posted Mar 22, 2004

    Fresh
    5/5

    Fresh
    94%

    The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

    " Easily the best of the trilogy, it moves like lightning, bringing us to the most awesome battle on film."

    Posted Feb 24, 2004

    Rotten
    3/5

    Rotten
    37%

    The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

    " So in other words it’s incredibly obvious that this guy is channeling Agent Smith. It’s obvious to everyone in the audience but Neo takes FOREVER to get it."

    Posted Nov 5, 2003

    Rotten
    -1/5

    Rotten
    10%

    Supernova (1999)

    " The ending is so anti-climatic that your first clue the movie is over is when the lights come on in the theater."

    Posted Sep 16, 2003

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    90%

    Spider-Man (2002)

    " Now maybe it's just me, but if I was in a lab full of genetically engineered super spiders and a big, weird-looking multi-colored arachnid bit me on the hand and left a big red mark, I'd tell somebody!"

    Posted Sep 16, 2003

    Fresh
    5/5

    Fresh
    88%

    Robocop (1987)

    " It's amazing how a dumb catch phrase can do more for your suspension of disbelief than a multi-million dollar special effects budget."

    Posted Sep 6, 2003

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    33%

    The Relic (1997)

    " Cut out all the pitiful pseudo-science and bad exposition and just stick to the action."

    Posted Sep 6, 2003

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    40%

    Reign of Fire (2002)

    " Cut to the year 2020. Not the year 2084, as stated in the TV ads for this movie, but 2020."

    Posted Sep 6, 2003

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    68%

    Red Dragon (2002)

    " This version of RED DRAGON is closer to the novel in many ways but one: lots of extra Hannibal."

    Posted Sep 6, 2003

    Fresh
    4/5

    Rotten
    23%

    Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)

    " This is a straight B monster movie, but it’s a good one."

    Posted Sep 6, 2003

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    70%

    Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

    " As summer blockbusters go this is a pretty good movie. Definitely entertaining and fun. But it’s just not in the same league as the sci-fi/action masterpieces that came before."

    Posted Jul 2, 2003

    Rotten
    2/5

    Fresh
    61%

    Hulk (2003)

    " I do respect his attempt to go in a different direction. What he tried to do was tell a serious dramatic story with the whole Hulk thing as secondary. It’s a gutsy thing to do but it failed."

    Posted Jul 2, 2003

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    88%

    28 Days Later (2003)

    " This is how you start a movie! No boring exposition, just jump right in. Show, don't tell, just like they say on the first page of every screenwriting book ever written."

    Posted Jun 24, 2003

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    44%

    Planet of the Apes (2001)

    " This is nowhere near the intellectual sci-fi masterpiece of the original. It’s a big budget check-your-brain-at-the door B movie."

    Posted Jun 3, 2003

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    38%

    Men in Black II (2002)

    " As much as it hurts me to say it, this party sucked."

    Posted Jun 3, 2003

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    92%

    The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

    " When this movie comes out on DVD you could have a drinking game where everybody has to do a shot when ever someone says, 'Hello, old friend'."

    Posted May 23, 2003

    Rotten
    2/5

    Rotten
    48%

    The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

    " Spielberg has gotten really preachy in his old age but this movie is so thick with it I almost lost consciousness."

    Posted May 23, 2003

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    84%

    Jurassic Park (1993)

    " So when conversation stops as a brontosaurus comes into view . . . Well, either you understand or you don't."

    Posted May 23, 2003

    Fresh
    4/5

    Fresh
    73%

    The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

    " But then you notice that all the men punching in are security guards and you know what happens to security guards in these movies."

    Posted May 15, 2003

    Fresh
    3/5

    Fresh
    88%

    X2: X-Men United (2003)

    " Lots of characters, right? Wait, there’s more."

    Posted May 1, 2003
     
     
    • Sort by Rating:

      Sort results by this critic's rating. This option is only available for critics with a rating system (4 star, letter grade, 1-10, etc.)

    • Sort by T-meter:

      Sort results by the Tomatometer (percentage of critics recommending a certain movie)

     
     

    Best to Worst Sampling

    Best to Worst Sampling

    5/5

    Colossus - The Forbin ProjectOffsite

    4/5

    The Lord of the Rings: The Two TowersOffsite

    3/5

    DaredevilOffsite

    2/5

    The Sum of All FearsOffsite

    1/5

    GodzillaOffsite

    -4/5

    Godzilla 2000Offsite

    -1/5

    SupernovaOffsite

    Best Reviewed

    Best Reviewed

    5/5

    CloverfieldOffsite

    5/5

    The IncrediblesOffsite

    5/5

    THX 1138Offsite

    5/5

    The Lord of the Rings: The Return of...Offsite

    5/5

    RobocopOffsite

    5/5

    Colossus - The Forbin ProjectOffsite

    More…

    Worst Reviewed

    Worst Reviewed

    -1/5

    SupernovaOffsite

    -4/5

    Godzilla 2000Offsite

    1/5

    Terminator SalvationOffsite

    1/5

    UltravioletOffsite

    1/5

    A Sound of ThunderOffsite

    1/5

    Alone in the DarkOffsite

    1/5

    The League of Extraordinary GentlemenOffsite

    1/5

    GodzillaOffsite

    More…

    Sponsored Links

     
     
    About| Site Map| Help| RT To Go| Contact Us| Critics Submission| Linking to RT| Licensing| Movie List| Games| Celebs List| Newsletter
    IGN Logo

    IGN.com | GameSpy | Comrade | Arena | FilePlanet | GameSpy Technology
    TeamXbox | Planets | Vaults | VE3D | CheatsCodesGuides | GameStats | GamerMetrics
    AskMen.com | Rotten Tomatoes | Direct2Drive | Green Pixels


    By continuing past this page, and by the continued use of this site, you agree to be bound by and abide by the User Agreement.
    Copyright 1998-2009, IGN Entertainment, Inc. About IGN | Support | Advertise | Privacy Policy | User Agreement | Subscribe to RT's XML feed! IGN RSS Feeds
    IGN's enterprise databases running Oracle, SQL and MySQL are professionally monitored and managed by Pythian Remote DBA
    Certain product data ©1995-present Muze, Inc. For personal use only. All rights reserved.