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Critics / Authors Reviews and Articles
KELLY PARKS
PUBLICATION(S)
Feo Amante

BIOGRAPHY
I began doing stand-up in February, 1991 at the Tuesday Open Mike Night at Laff's Comedy Cafe' in Tucson, AZ. Before that I was an Aerospace Engineer specializing in Space Missions Analysis and Orbital Mechanics (a rocket scientist, literally). I got laid off, had too much free time, failed my gang initiation, so of course I turned to comedy.
more...

STATS
Total Reviews: 200
Total QuickRatings: 30

OTHER INFO
• Favorites
• Location: San Diego, CA


SECTIONS
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Worst Reviewed Films
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Unquoted Reviews/Articles
 
HOME ABOUT MOVIES DVDs INTERVIEWS BEST WORST QUICK RATINGS OTHER
LISTING OF ALL REVIEWS & ARTICLES
A SAMPLING OF THIS CRITIC'S CINEMATIC TASTE
 
BEST TO WORST SAMPLING
----------------------------------
5/5  Colossus - The Forbin Project
4/5  The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
3/5  Daredevil
2/5  The Sum of All Fears
1/5  Godzilla
-4/5  Godzilla 2000
-1/5  Supernova
 
 
BEST REVIEWED
----------------------------------
5/5  Cloverfield
5/5  The Incredibles
5/5  THX 1138
5/5  The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
5/5  Robocop
5/5  Colossus - The Forbin Project
 more...
 
 
WORST REVIEWED
----------------------------------
-1/5  Supernova
-4/5  Godzilla 2000
1/5  Ultraviolet
1/5  A Sound of Thunder
1/5  Alone in the Dark
1/5  The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
1/5  Godzilla
 more...
 
This critic agrees with the Tomatometer 75% of the time.

Genre:   # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres ... (1-50 of 200) Next »
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T-METER
/
2/5
 
" John the psycho killer is actually a very scary bad guy. He's merciless and completely silent but seems to enjoy his work."
Posted Aug 18, 2008
 
Silent Rage (1982)n/a
/
3/5
 
" Alright, I'm done with the nitpicking. The science mistakes and the super simple plot bugged me but not enough to ruin my good time."
Posted May 5, 2008
 
Iron Man (2008)93%
/
2/5
 
" The rest of the movie didn't matter. From then on all I could think about was how unforgivably stupid that scene was. How could that make it through test screenings? How could a just God allow it to exist?"
Posted Mar 1, 2008
 
The Invasion (2007)19%
/
3/5
 
" I'm a fan of the 50's black and white sci-fi/horror flicks but this is truly a bad one."
Posted Jan 25, 2008
 
Invisible Invaders (1959)n/a
/
5/5
 
" I watched it at a midnight showing, it's now 2:25 A.M., and if I could go see it again right now I would."
Posted Jan 18, 2008
 
Cloverfield (2008)77%
/
3/5
 
" The vampires are never seen as especially menacing or murderous and are usually easily dispatched."
Posted Jan 14, 2008
 
Ultraviolet (1998)n/a
/
2/5
 
" Just for the record, a fathom is equal to six feet so 20,000 fathoms is almost twenty-three miles."
Posted Jan 1, 2008
 
The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (1953)88%
/
3/5
 
" A cavern would be cut off from this and it's difficult to see how such a closed ecology would be maintained and would provide enough food for very large predators."
Posted Jan 1, 2008
 
Gorgo (1961)n/a
/
3/5
 
" All these things add up to a decent sequel that could have used a bit more thought and a different director(s)"
Posted Dec 28, 2007
 
Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)14%
/
4/5
 
" The lives of these characters are messy and the morality of their decisions far from clear cut. Sometimes they do terrible things because they feel like they must."
Posted Dec 18, 2007
 
Battlestar Galactica: Razor (2007)n/a
/
4/5
 
" In other words, they could have had their cool ending and the original very cool ending from the novel combined, for a mega-cool ending that would have been, well, legendary."
Posted Dec 18, 2007
 
I Am Legend (2007)69%
/
2/5
 
" The story often wanders and has a making it up as they went along feel."
Posted Nov 29, 2007
 
Species: The Awakening (2007)n/a
/
4/5
 
" It also comes in handy picking up chicks because he can try and see the results of every pick up line until he finds one that works."
Posted Nov 29, 2007
 
Next (2007)29%
/
1/5
 
" THE THIRST was awful and the committee of writers should hang their heads in shame."
Posted Oct 19, 2007
 
The Thirst (2006)n/a
/
1/5
 
" But if you've been paying attention you'll have noticed that in spite of there being lots more people today, none of the disasters they worried about in the 70's ever happened."
Posted Oct 4, 2007
 
Zero Population Growth (1971)n/a
/
3/5
 
" The science was awful but the drama was compelling and the characters interesting."
Posted Oct 1, 2007
 
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (1961)90%
/
4/5
 
" At this point if you're thinking, "What the hell do I care what some foreign jerkwad thinks of America? I just want to know if it's a good movie!", I'm right there with you."
Posted Aug 30, 2007
 
The Host (2007)92%
/
5/5
 
" I'm pretty sure my enthusiasm has given me away by now."
Posted Aug 22, 2007
 
Serenity (2005)82%
/
5/5
 
" Like any good mad scientist, Zarkov has a rocket in his lab."
Posted Aug 22, 2007
 
Flash Gordon (1980)83%
/
1/5
 
" Bad acting, bad writing, bad storytelling, bad little boys and girls who need a good smack in the head."
Posted Jul 30, 2007
 
Firestarter 2: Rekindled (2002)n/a
/
3/5
 
" Is this another member of the long list of bad movies made from Stephen King stories?"
Posted Jul 30, 2007
 
Firestarter (1984)38%
/
4/5
 
" I'm going to make a prediction. There will be more and more movies made about crime and social breakdown in France in the years ahead."
Posted Jul 20, 2007
 
District B13 (2006)80%
/
4/5
 
" It's not unintentionally funny %u2013 it is intentionally hilarious and a lot of fun to watch."
Posted Jul 20, 2007
 
Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987)40%
/
4/5
 
" But what really made me enjoy the story was the unblinking portrayal of a much worse monster: Africa."
Posted Jul 13, 2007
 
Primeval (2007)17%
/
2/5
 
" The camera is so shaky so much of the time that I had no damn idea what was going on!"
Posted May 14, 2007
 
28 Weeks Later (2007)71%
/
4/5
 
" The doctors put their tuxes on and go to celebrate, intending to continue the experiment the next day. But Harry, who is much smarter than he seems, has other plans."
Posted Apr 19, 2007
 
The Terminal Man (1974)83%
/
2/10
 
" This movie drained away an hour and 34 minutes of my life and I feel weak and violated."
Posted Apr 7, 2007
 
Crocodile (2000)n/a
/
4/5
 
" I don't know the right word. I mean, is it still called genocide if people do it to themselves?"
Posted Apr 7, 2007
 
Children of Men (2006)92%
/
4/5
 
" This is a wacky movie that keeps your attention with a constant stream of violence, nudity and weirdness."
Posted Apr 7, 2007
 
Death Race 2000 (1975)82%
/
3/5
 
" I just want to mention that a super hot chick walking around completely naked is very distracting."
Posted Feb 21, 2007
 
Lifeforce (1985)50%
/
2/5
 
" I don't know why things happened or what it all meant or how what happened resolves anything."
Posted Jan 4, 2007
 
The Plague (2006)n/a
/
5/5
 
" So what does it all mean? I'll tell you what. This is the best horror movie I've seen in a long time."
Posted Oct 19, 2006
 
Feast (2006)57%
/
4/5
 
" Can horrible, gory death be funny? Can seeing someone get split in half and watching their guts spill on the ground make you laugh? Is there something wrong with me, or with you?"
Posted Oct 19, 2006
 
Slither (2006)85%
/
4/5
 
" Sometimes bad movies are so bad their badness is entertaining. But when a movie tries to be entertainingly bad on purpose, is it a good bad movie?"
Posted Aug 21, 2006
 
Snakes on a Plane (2006)70%
/
3/5
 
" This movie is bigger on being a how-to-survive-a-nuclear-disaster guide than it is on being a dramatic story."
Posted Aug 7, 2006
 
Panic in Year Zero (1962)63%
/
4/5
 
" This guy knew more synonyms for dank than I thought existed."
Posted Jun 29, 2006
 
The Call of Cthulhu (2005)100%
/
2/5
 
" There are some cool scenes and watching the disintegration of this bad hospital was fascinating at first."
Posted Jun 26, 2006
 
Infection (2004)n/a
/
0/5
 
" Steve is quickly able to deduce that the odd radiation is coming from Mystery Mountain. I kid you not. Mystery freakin' Mountain."
Posted Jun 26, 2006
 
The Brain From Planet Arous (1958)20%
/
2/5
 
" It's boring, the dialogue is plodding and cliché-ridden, the special effects are sub-par and there are huge, gaping plot holes all over the place."
Posted May 30, 2006
 
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)56%
/
1/5
 
" A new low, Mr. Slater."
Posted May 27, 2006
 
Hollow Man II (2006)n/a
/
1/5
 
" I feel bad. I really wanted to like this movie and I cut it every break I could."
Posted Mar 7, 2006
 
Ultraviolet (2006)8%
/
3/5
 
" IF you are into Godzilla movies THEN no, it doesn't suck. In fact this is my all time favorite Godzilla movie!"
Posted Dec 23, 2005
 
Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)50%
/
3/5
 
" Will he be content to use Alfred's many cameras to watch Susan in the shower? Or does he have more sinister plans for her?"
Posted Dec 5, 2005
 
Demon Seed (1977)62%
/
2/5
 
" Where were the Barons of Hell? Where was the Cyberdemon?"
Posted Oct 20, 2005
 
Doom (2005)20%
/
1/5
 
" If I had to choose between seeing this dog again and unanesthetized dental surgery…"
Posted Sep 8, 2005
 
A Sound of Thunder (2005)8%
/
2/5
 
" You'd think they'd save that as a cool plot twist but whatever."
Posted Aug 29, 2005
 
The Cave (2005)13%
/
4/5
 
" It's like Star Trek's holodeck, except with basically realistic technology instead of magical force fields."
Posted Aug 15, 2005
 
Westworld (1973)90%
/
2/5
 
" Why add changes that don't mesh with the original?"
Posted Aug 2, 2005
 
Cube Zero (2004)n/a
/
3/5
 
" It's not doing well at the box office and, although I'm just guessing, I think the reason for that is the give-away-everything trailer."
Posted Jul 29, 2005
 
The Island (2005)40%
/
4/5
 
" Okay, yeah, it's a French movie. But the French aren't all bad. Read 'Anti-Americanism' by Jean Francois Revel to see what I mean."
Posted Jul 4, 2005
 
Time of the Wolf (2003)65%

Genre:   # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres ... (1-50 of 200) Next »
* Sort by Rating: Sort results by this critic's rating. This option is only available for critics with a rating system (4 star, letter grade, 1-10, etc.)
* Sort by T-meter: Sort results by the Tomatometer (percentage of critics recommending a certain movie)
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