David Spade Biography

Diminutive, blond, and bushy-haired comic David Spade has found success as a professional smart ass. Born in Birmingham, MI, but raised in Scottsdale, AZ, Spade first made a name for himself as a standup comedian. He spent most of the '80s performing in clubs, theaters, and college campuses. He joined the cast of Lorne Michael's long-running television show Saturday Night Live in 1990 as a writer and a performer. On the show, he soon gained popularity for such recurring sketches such as "The Hollywood Minute" in which Spade would sarcastically shred some of Tinseltown's biggest stars with his nasty comments. Spade also proved an able impersonator of celebrities ranging from Jeff Foxworthy to Tom Petty. Spade has appeared on many television talk shows and guest starred on several series. He began his film career in the late '80s playing a small role in Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol. In the '90s, he began playing major supporting roles in such films as Coneheads (1993) and P.C.U. (1994). He and former SNL alumni Chris Farley shared top billing in two popular comedies, Tommy Boy (1995) and Black Sheep (1996). Spade starred opposite Joe Pesci and Dyan Cannon in Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag (1997). In 1997, Spade returned to series television in the sitcom Just Shoot Me. ~ Sandra Brennan, Rovi

• 1. Tommy Callahan III: Hey, does this suit make me look fat?
  2. Richard: No, no, your face does.
  From Tommy Boy. Submitted by topher h (2 months ago)

• 1. Ritchie: What is this? Children of the corn?
  From The Benchwarmers. Submitted by Austin G (4 months ago)

• 1. Emperor Kuzco: You got it? Even the little ones? Okay.
  From Kronk's New Groove. Submitted by Anthony A (5 months ago)

• 1. Emperor Kuzco: This is his movie. Not my movie.
  From Kronk's New Groove. Submitted by Anthony A (5 months ago)

• 1. Emperor Kuzco: I'm nice now. Didn't you see the first movie?
  From Kronk's New Groove. Submitted by Anthony A (5 months ago)

• 1. Emperor Kuzco: [disguised as Kronk's 'wife'] You like how I weaseled my way into this movie?
  From Kronk's New Groove. Submitted by Anthony A (5 months ago)

• 1. Pacha: [explaining the plan to his wife] So we have to get him back to the palace, find the lab and change him back.
  2. Kuzko: [appears in window suddenly] Hi there! [startles Chica who responds by slamming a pan into Kuzko's face]
  3. Pacha: Uh... that was him.
  4. Chica: Whoops.
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by John R (6 months ago)

• 1. Pacha: [sees waterfall] Uh oh.
  2. Kuzko: [nonchalantly] Don't tell me, we're about to go over a huge waterfall.
  3. Pacha: [nonchalantly] Yep.
  4. Kuzko: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
  5. Pacha: Most likely.
  6. Kuzko: Bring it on.
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by John R (6 months ago)

• 1. Yzma: Pull the lever, Kronk.
  2. Kronk: [Pulls the lever, openeing a trap door in which Yzma falls]
  3. Yzma: Wrong lever! [walks through a stone door, wet and with a crocodile on her leg] Why do we even have that lever? [kicks the croc away]
  4. Kuzko: [later in the film Kuzko walks out of the same place with a crocodile on his leg] 'Okay, why does she even have that lever?!
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by John R (6 months ago)

• 1. Marcus Higgins: Listen to hamper bottom. I think he's sending a message in Morse code. Getting old. Stop. Can't pee. Stop. Reek like an asparagus. Stop. Even though I didn't have any. Stop.
  From Grown Ups. Submitted by Andrew M (9 months ago)

• 1. Becky Feder: [about the bug zapper] Daddy! Where is it taking them?
  2. Marcus Higgins: Hell.
  3. Lenny Feder: Higgins. Don't say that.
  4. Marcus Higgins: Oh I'm sorry not Hell... Mexico.
  From Grown Ups. Submitted by Andrew M (9 months ago)

• 1. Yzma: [recently transformed into a cat, vial in hand] Looking for this? [surprised] Is that my voice?! Is that MY voice?! Oh well.
  2. Kuzko: No, no! Don't drop it!
  3. Yzma: I'm not going to drop it, you fool! I'm going to drink! And once I turn back into my beautiful self I'm going to KILL YOU! [diabolical laughter]
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by Kris R (9 months ago)

• 1. Yzma: [appearing from the shadows, holding the vial of human extract] Looking for this?
  2. Kuzko: No! It can't be. How did you get here before us?
  3. Yzma: [stunned] How did we, Kronk?
  4. Kronk: You got me. [pulls down a map outlining the chase prior] By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by Kris R (9 months ago)

• 1. Kurt McKenzie: He calls it maize because it sounds mystical.
  2. Rob Hilliard: It's great.
  3. Lenny Feder: It's a-maize-ing.
  From Grown Ups. Submitted by Cole K (11 months ago)