David Spade Biography

Born August 22nd, 1965, the diminutive blond comic David Spade has found success as a professional smart ass. Born in Birmingham, MI, but raised in Scottsdale, AZ, Spade first made a name for himself as a standup comedian. He spent most of the '80s performing in clubs, theaters, and college campuses. He joined the cast of Lorne Michael's long-running television show Saturday Night Live in 1990 as a writer and a performer. On the show, he soon gained popularity for such recurring sketches such as "The Hollywood Minute" in which Spade would sarcastically shred some of Tinseltown's biggest stars with his nasty comments. Spade also proved an able impersonator of celebrities ranging from Jeff Foxworthy to Tom Petty. Spade has appeared on many television talk shows and guest starred on several series. He began his film career in the late '80s playing a small role in Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol. In the '90s, he began playing major supporting roles in such films as Coneheads (1993) and P.C.U. (1994). He and former SNL alumni Chris Farley shared top billing in two popular comedies, Tommy Boy (1995) and Black Sheep (1996). Spade starred opposite Joe Pesci and Dyan Cannon in Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag (1997). In 1997, Spade returned to series television in the sitcom Just Shoot Me. While 2001's Joe Dirt wasn't much of a box office success, it did earn a certain cult status, inspire animated television series, and bring about a surge of ironically-sported mullet hairstyles in the early 2000s. While 2001's Joe Dirt wasn't much of a box office success, it did bring about a resurgence of popularity for the mullet. Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (2003) featured Spade in the titular role of a one-time child star who tries to make a comeback as an adult. Spade continued to play comedic roles throughout the mid-2000s (The Benchwarners, Grandma's Boy), and once again found small-screen success with a role on the sitcoms 8 Simple Rules, and The Rules of Engagement, in which Spade plays the part of a single man surrounded by friends in various stages of couplehood. ~ Sandra Brennan, Rovi

• 1. Marcus Higgins: Can you have sex with them when they're pregnant?
  2. Lenny Feder: Well, McKenzie can because the baby thinks it's getting a Tootsie roll.
  From Grown Ups. Submitted by Kelly E (3 months ago)

• 1. Marcus Higgins: Can you have sex with them when they're pregnant?
  From Grown Ups. Submitted by Kelly E (3 months ago)

• 1. Marcus Higgins: Hey, what's up, Lenny? Buddy, I thought you were gonna start working out.
  2. Lenny Feder: What does that mean?
  3. Marcus Higgins: Um... you're fat.
  From Grown Ups. Submitted by Kelly E (3 months ago)

• 1. Mike Donnelly: [after driving over a bump in the road] What the hell was that?!
  2. Steve Dodds: A chunk in the road or something.
  3. Mike Donnelly: I just chunked in my pants.
  From Black Sheep. Submitted by David E (4 months ago)

• 1. Hillbilly Kid: [to Steve] You're not from around here, are you?
  2. Steve Dodds: [lying] You know what? I am. Born and raised.
  3. Hillbilly Kid: Nope. Can't be true.
  From Black Sheep. Submitted by David E (4 months ago)

• 1. Mike Donnelly: Goodnight, Steve.
  2. Steve Dodds: Goodnight, Mike.
  From Black Sheep. Submitted by David E (4 months ago)

• 1. Richard: [after Paul gets his nuts squashed] That will ruin his weekend.
  From Tommy Boy. Submitted by David E (4 months ago)

• 1. Griffin the Invisible Man: Hey I have red hair!
  From Hotel Transylvania. Submitted by YOU USED THE WRONG EMAIL ADDRESS S (6 months ago)

• 1. Dracula: Sheep!
  2. Griffin the Invisible Man: [After driving through the forest] Woo High Five, Don't Leave Me Hangin'!
  3. Dracula: Ahh.. Lots of sheep!
  4. Wayne: I Got This One! [He then leaps out of the car, Then the sound of garbling up is heard as Wayne then returns to the car, burping up wool]
  5. Wayne: [Everyone looks at Wayne after the see a sheep-less road with some disgust] What, Now there's no sheep on the road. Let's Go!
  6. Murray: That was pretty sick man!
  7. Wayne: You Eat Lamb Chops, It's The Same Thing!
  From Hotel Transylvania. Submitted by Liam D (7 months ago)

• 1. Dracula: He's got red hair!
  2. Griffin the Invisible Man: Excuse me?
  3. Dracula: What are you moaning about?
  4. Griffin the Invisible Man: I've got red hair!
  5. Dracula: How was I supposed to know that?
  From Hotel Transylvania. Submitted by Augusta M (7 months ago)

• 1. Kuzko: [throws acorn at adorable squirrel] HIT THE ROAD, BUCKY!
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by Helen P (7 months ago)

• 1. Griffin the Invisible Man: Guilty? You're irresistible.
  From Hotel Transylvania. Submitted by Maya B (8 months ago)

• 1. Kronk: Oh! Yzma! Yzma's in your chair!
  2. Kuzko: Very good, Kronk! [holds up dog treat] Get the snack! Get the snack!
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by Cameron D (9 months ago)

• 1. Kuzko: Ugh. Why does she even HAVE that lever?
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by Cameron D (9 months ago)

• 1. Pacha: Uh-oh.
  2. Kuzko: Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
  3. Pacha: Yep.
  4. Kuzko: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
  5. Pacha: Most likely.
  6. Kuzko: Bring it on.
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by Yoga L (9 months ago)

• 1. Kuzko: [sees leaves moving around, a squirrel comes out] What do you want? [the squirrel offers him a nut] Oh, for me? [takes the nut] I don't what to say. [throws the nut, hitting the squirrel in the head] Hit the road!
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by Brandon M (10 months ago)

• 1. Clark: Boooooooooo!
  2. Ritchie: YOU JUST LOST YOUR MEMBERSHIP AT VIDEOSPOT!
  3. Clark: DANG IT!
  From The Benchwarmers. Submitted by Kyle M (11 months ago)

• 1. Richard: Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter.
  From Tommy Boy. Submitted by Giovanni M (11 months ago)

• 1. Tommy Callahan III: Hey, does this suit make me look fat?
  2. Richard: No, no, your face does.
  From Tommy Boy. Submitted by topher h (14 months ago)

• 1. Ritchie: What is this? Children of the corn?
  From The Benchwarmers. Submitted by Austin G (16 months ago)

• 1. Emperor Kuzco: You got it? Even the little ones? Okay.
  From Kronk's New Groove. Submitted by Anthony A (17 months ago)

• 1. Emperor Kuzco: This is his movie. Not my movie.
  From Kronk's New Groove. Submitted by Anthony A (17 months ago)

• 1. Emperor Kuzco: I'm nice now. Didn't you see the first movie?
  From Kronk's New Groove. Submitted by Anthony A (17 months ago)

• 1. Emperor Kuzco: [disguised as Kronk's 'wife'] You like how I weaseled my way into this movie?
  From Kronk's New Groove. Submitted by Anthony A (17 months ago)

• 1. Pacha: [explaining the plan to his wife] So we have to get him back to the palace, find the lab and change him back.
  2. Kuzko: [appears in window suddenly] Hi there! [startles Chica who responds by slamming a pan into Kuzko's face]
  3. Pacha: Uh... that was him.
  4. Chica: Whoops.
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by John R (18 months ago)

• 1. Pacha: [sees waterfall] Uh oh.
  2. Kuzko: [nonchalantly] Don't tell me, we're about to go over a huge waterfall.
  3. Pacha: [nonchalantly] Yep.
  4. Kuzko: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
  5. Pacha: Most likely.
  6. Kuzko: Bring it on.
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by John R (18 months ago)

• 1. Yzma: Pull the lever, Kronk.
  2. Kronk: [Pulls the lever, openeing a trap door in which Yzma falls]
  3. Yzma: Wrong lever! [walks through a stone door, wet and with a crocodile on her leg] Why do we even have that lever? [kicks the croc away]
  4. Kuzko: [later in the film Kuzko walks out of the same place with a crocodile on his leg] 'Okay, why does she even have that lever?!
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by John R (18 months ago)

• 1. Marcus Higgins: Listen to hamper bottom. I think he's sending a message in Morse code. Getting old. Stop. Can't pee. Stop. Reek like an asparagus. Stop. Even though I didn't have any. Stop.
  From Grown Ups. Submitted by Andrew M (21 months ago)

• 1. Becky Feder: [about the bug zapper] Daddy! Where is it taking them?
  2. Marcus Higgins: Hell.
  3. Lenny Feder: Higgins. Don't say that.
  4. Marcus Higgins: Oh I'm sorry not Hell... Mexico.
  From Grown Ups. Submitted by Andrew M (21 months ago)

• 1. Yzma: [recently transformed into a cat, vial in hand] Looking for this? [surprised] Is that my voice?! Is that MY voice?! Oh well.
  2. Kuzko: No, no! Don't drop it!
  3. Yzma: I'm not going to drop it, you fool! I'm going to drink! And once I turn back into my beautiful self I'm going to KILL YOU! [diabolical laughter]
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by Kris R (21 months ago)

• 1. Yzma: [appearing from the shadows, holding the vial of human extract] Looking for this?
  2. Kuzko: No! It can't be. How did you get here before us?
  3. Yzma: [stunned] How did we, Kronk?
  4. Kronk: You got me. [pulls down a map outlining the chase prior] By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.
  From The Emperor's New Groove. Submitted by Kris R (21 months ago)

• 1. Kurt McKenzie: He calls it maize because it sounds mystical.
  2. Rob Hilliard: It's great.
  3. Lenny Feder: It's a-maize-ing.
  From Grown Ups. Submitted by Cole K (23 months ago)