Graham Chapman Biography

While attending Cambridge University, Leicester-born Graham Chapman met and befriended fellow student John Cleese. Sharing a keen sense of the ridiculous, Chapman and Cleese formed a writing/performing team, contributing scripts to a variety of BBC radio and TV shows, most notably Doctor in the House. They also wrote for such satirical films as The Magic Christian (1969) and Rentadick (1972). In 1969, Chapman and Cleese formed the Monty Python comedy troupe, which led to the matchless TV comedy-sketch series Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969-1974). Because he came closest to resembling a film star, the Pythons cast Chapman in the leading roles of their film projects Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) and The Life of Brian (1978); in the latter film, Chapman scored as an "alternate Messiah" who ended his life on the Cross while singing an insipid cheer-up song. On his own, Graham Chapman was not quite as successful as he'd been in the company of fellow Pythons Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin and Terry Gilian, though he did publish a moderately successful 1981 memoir, A Liar's Autobiography. After co-scripting and co-starring in the all-star "comedy salad" Yellowbeard (1983), Graham Chapman died of spinal and throat cancer; he was only 48. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

• 1. French: I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of eldeberries!
  2. King Arthur: Is there anyone else up there we can talk to?
  3. French: No! now go away away or I shall taunt you a second time!
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by David N (3 days ago)

• 1. Brian Called Brian: You don't need to fallow me, you don't need to fallow anybody.
  From Monty Python's Life of Brian. Submitted by Sarah K. H (55 days ago)

• 1. King Arthur: [after literally 'disarming' the Black Knight] Now stand aside, worthy adversary!
  2. Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.
  3. King Arthur: A scratch?! You're arm's off!
  4. Black Knight: No it isn't!
  5. King Arthur: [points to BK's arm on the ground] Well, what's that?
  6. Black Knight: I've had worse.
  7. King Arthur: You liar!
  8. Black Knight: Oh, come on, you pansy!
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by Kris R (2 months ago)

• 1. King Arthur: [calling out to the battlements] Hello! Hello!
  2. French: Hallo? Who is it?
  3. King Arthur: It is King Arthur, and these are his Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
  4. French: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard.
  5. King Arthur: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he can provide us food and shelter for the night he can join us on the quest for the Holy Grail.
  6. French: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'd be very keen. He's already got one you see?
  7. King Arthur: [puzzled] What?
  8. Sir Galahad: They said they already got one.
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by Kris R (2 months ago)

• 1. Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
  2. King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by Rocky F (2 months ago)

• 1. King Arthur: I am your king.
  2. Dennis's Mother: Well I didn't vote for you.
  3. King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
  4. Dennis's Mother: Well how'd you become king then?
  5. King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
  6. Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by Brianna E (6 months ago)

• 1. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: Who goes there?
  2. King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
  3. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: Pull the other one!
  4. King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
  5. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: What? Ridden on a horse?
  6. King Arthur: Yes!
  7. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: You're using coconuts!
  8. King Arthur: What?
  9. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
  10. King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
  11. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: Where'd you get the coconuts?
  12. King Arthur: We found them.
  13. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
  14. King Arthur: What do you mean?
  15. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: Well, this is a temperate zone.
  16. King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
  17. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
  18. King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
  19. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
  20. King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
  21. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
  22. King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
  23. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
  24. King Arthur: Please!
  25. 1st Soldier with a Keen Interest in Birds: Am I right?
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by Brianna E (6 months ago)

• 1. Black Knight: I'll have you for that!
  2. King Arthur: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by Tom R (9 months ago)

• 1. King Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by Jake C (9 months ago)

• 1. Black Knight: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by Ronit F (9 months ago)

• 1. King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
  2. Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by Anastasia B (12 months ago)

• 1. King Arthur: That Rabbit's Dynamite!!
  From Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Submitted by Tyler C (13 months ago)

• 1. Brian Called Brian: You don't need to follow me! You don't need to follow anybody! You got to think for yourselves! You're all individuals! You're all different!
  2. Man: I'm not...
  From Monty Python's Life of Brian. Submitted by Prana Independent F (14 months ago)