Critics » Clay Cane » Rotten
Clay Cane

Clay Cane

Agrees with the Tomatometer 72% of the time.

Publications:
BET.com
Critics' Group:
New York Film Critics Online
Total Reviews:
183

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 183
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
F 31% The Uninvited (2009) " Just to set the taste level, the first line in The Uninvited is 'I love you, I have a condom.' Yep, the bar is already lowered." — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2009
D- 17% The Haunting in Connecticut (2009) " If you can solve 0 plus 0, you can predict the ending." — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2009
D 90% Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) " 'Indie' is a marketing label that gives lazy films credibility. 'Martha Marcy May Marlene' is the perfect example. Every flaw can be summed up with: 'Well, it's an indie!'" — BET.com
Posted Dec 9, 2011
D 7% New Year's Eve (2011) " The worst sin of 'New Year's Eve' is the insulating presentation of New Year's Eve in the Big Apple. Hopefully, no one thinks New Year's Eve in New York City is this boring, clichéd and common." — BET.com
Posted Dec 9, 2011
D 36% The Thing (2011) " Blame it on the script? Blame it on the CGI? Blame it on the director? I can't pinpoint what is to blame, but 'The Thing' should've remained buried in 1982. " — BET.com
Posted Oct 14, 2011
D 70% Footloose (2011) " I never want to dance again." — BET.com
Posted Oct 14, 2011
D 41% Straw Dogs (2011) " As the movie poster reads, 'Everyone has a breaking point.' Hopefully 'Straw Dogs' is a breaking point for Hollywood to stop spitting out terribly done remakes." — BET.com
Posted Sep 16, 2011
D 59% Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark (2011) " 'Dark' falls into many trappings that ruin a horror movie: Characters who stupidly refuse to leave a haunted house? Check! All gloss and no scares? Check! A spooky brunette child? Check! Previews that are better than the movie? Check!" — BET.com
Posted Aug 26, 2011
D 67% Insidious (2011) " The most the James Wan film has is ear-piercing sound effects with quick cuts to scary faces. Of course you'll jump, but you'll also jump if someone runs behind you and screams in your eardrum -- this is the same effect as 'Insidious.'" — BET.com
Posted Mar 31, 2011
D 20% The Rite (2011) " None of the greats could've made this poorly crafted, lethargic, unoriginal gush of foolishness work onscreen. 'The Rite' is all wrong." — BET.com
Posted Jan 28, 2011
D 81% Catfish (2010) " 'Catfish' is the worst case of false advertising in cinematic history." — BET.com
Posted Sep 10, 2010
D 81% Disgrace (2008) " The person snoring next to me is a perfect example of how colossally insignificant this fatiguing and strenuous flick is with its implausibility, unrecognizable characters and tattered plot line." — BET.com
Posted Sep 28, 2009
D 91% District 9 (2009) " Overall, with aliens that look like a crossbreed of roaches and lobsters, District 9 is a bad episode of Star Trek meets an insipid Apartheid mini-series. This was one disappointing sci-fi spectacle." — BET.com
Posted Aug 13, 2009
D 12% The Unborn (2009) " The Unborn is a story that should have remained untold and will be forgotten by the end of the weekend." — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2009
D 25% Friday the 13th (2009) " Friday the 13th Part 12 will not sell at the box office, so they toss the word 'remake' out there to dupe its audience into another installment of this crappy horror flick." — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2009
D 34% Knowing (2009) " Knowing that 'Knowing' is not worth your money is probably your best bet in movies to not pay for this weekend." — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2009
D 13% The Informers (2009) " What an A-list cast: Mickey Rourke, Winona Ryder and Kim Basinger. Interesting enough, all stars of the eighties, which is exactly where this movie should have stayed." — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2009
D+ 34% Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) " This ship has sailed, wrecked and sunk right into a Hollywood abyss of nonsense." — BET.com
Posted May 21, 2011
D+ 74% Iron Man 2 (2010) " Aesthetically, 'Iron Man 2' is a polished flick. Plot wise, it's almost as bad as 'Catwoman.'" — BET.com
Posted May 13, 2010
D+ 34% The Wolfman (2010) " I'd rather watch 'Teen Wolf' on repeat than yawn through 'The Wolfman' again. It's the type of movie where you can fall asleep for 20 minutes, wake up and realize you didn't miss a thing." — BET.com
Posted Feb 12, 2010
D+ 40% Saw VI (2009) " Who can expect something worthy of good reviews after the sixth installment? That said, I'm assuming the creators of Saw walked into the movie deciding, 'We're going to make a stupid, gory movie and everyone will watch it because it's Halloween!'" — BET.com
Posted Oct 25, 2009
D+ 21% The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) " About 20 minutes in The Day the Earth Stood Still -- well, the movie stood still and never moved." — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2009
D+ 42% He's Just Not That Into You (2009) " Works as an hour episode of Oprah or a thirty-minute episode of Sex and the City, but as a full length movie -- I'm just not that into it." — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2009
C- 58% Scream 4 (2011) " The characters grapple with the 'rules of horror' films, but the number one rule that I am sure everyone involved with 'Scream 4' knew but refused to say: The fourth installment always and forever sucks." — BET.com
Posted Oct 20, 2011
C- 4% Abduction (2011) " What do audiences expect from Lautner? The pretty boy got his start in 'Twilight,' which is no cinematic masterpiece. Does 'Abduction' suck? Yes! Does it matter? No!"" — BET.com
Posted Sep 23, 2011
C- 82% Super 8 (2011) " The final scene, which you truly have to see for yourself to roll your eyes at, solidifies that 'Super 8' is just super foolish. " — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2011
C- 87% X-Men: First Class (2011) " It's the life of the young and restless mutants in the sixties. 'X-Men: First Class' managed to tarnish the franchise even more than 2009's 'Wolverine.'" — BET.com
Posted Jun 3, 2011
C- 35% The Hangover Part II (2011) " If there's such thing as plagiarizing your own work, Hangover Part II is the best example. Also, for those folks who drink to get plastered, fist pump at the club, splurge on a hooker and say racial epithets for fun - you've finally found your franchise!" — BET.com
Posted May 26, 2011
C- 77% Thor (2011) " Next to 'Iron Man 2,' 'Thor' is the worst Marvel film to date. " — BET.com
Posted May 6, 2011
C- 49% The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) " The most troublesome blow is the archaic message of a girl who will abandon everything for a boy - friends, mother, father and even her soul. This is a character whose only identity is her boyfriend; Bella Swan sets women in film back fifty years." — BET.com
Posted Jun 30, 2010
C- 15% A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) " Freddy's 2010 makeover made him look like a burn victim meets a Na'vi creature from 'Avatar.' Also, for a movie that is about its characters fighting sleep to survive, it's a shame 'Elm Street' induces a few REM-driven naps." — BET.com
Posted Apr 29, 2010
C- 28% Clash of the Titans (2010) " The dollar-store version of 'Avatar.'" — BET.com
Posted Apr 2, 2010
C- 18% Valentine's Day (2010) " On Taylor Swift, not since Madonna in 'Who's That Girl?' have I seen such an annoying performance. The only thing that could've saved her jittery acting is if Kanye West had stormed her scenes. That might've resulted in an Oscar nod for Miss Taylor!" — BET.com
Posted Feb 11, 2010
C- 48% The Book of Eli (2010) " I hope the Hughes Brothers abandon these wannabe Hollywood glamor flicks and go back to gritty, raw dramas -- like 'Dead Presidents' and 'Menace II Society' -- that made their work so fresh and groundbreaking." — BET.com
Posted Jan 20, 2010
C- 67% Daybreakers (2010) " Despite a few jumps in your seat and some hilarious explosions of body parts, I've seen better special effects in a Nintendo DS video game and stronger plot lines on the back of a Count Chocula cereal box." — BET.com
Posted Jan 8, 2010
C- 63% The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009) " An acidic combo of a Super Mario Bros. game on a disastrous drug trip and a bad Lady Gaga video -- however, both Mario and Gaga have better premises." — BET.com
Posted Dec 23, 2009
C- 82% Paranormal Activity (2009) " I respect filmmakers who can make a film for $11,000. However, ten minutes of this movie could've been on YouTube and it would've been an internet sensation. As a feature length film, many viewers will be horrified with boredom at this drip of a movie." — BET.com
Posted Oct 13, 2009
C- 84% Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) " An uninformed audience is left with a movie that feels like 90210 meets Mr. Wizard. I'd rather watch David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear for 153 minutes than endure this flick's trite magic tricks." — BET.com
Posted Jul 15, 2009
C- 21% Next Day Air (2009) " I admire Benny Boom's effort; he wanted to make a movie and did it. One can only hope his next venture in Hollywood will be more original and sharp." — BET.com
Posted Jul 4, 2009
C- 87% Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Hellboy 2) (2008) " Even with the quirky superhero conflicts, there isn't a line you have not heard or a fight you cannot predict." — BET.com
Posted Jul 3, 2009
C- 20% Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) " The hip-hop talking robots were borderline offensive. Is this the movie's way of appealing to the African-American audience? I never knew that robots could shuck n' jive." — BET.com
Posted Jul 3, 2009
C- 32% Tennessee (2009) " So the big question is -- how was Mariah? Surprisingly, Mrs. Cannon was the light in an otherwise morbid and boring film. She had flair, swagger and a convincing Texas accent." — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2009
C- 64% Duplicity (2009) " Duplicity is like sitting in a two-hour lecture from a college professor who reads straight from the text and never makes eye contact. Do you know there is an audience here?" — BET.com
Posted Jun 10, 2009
C 3% Jack and Jill (2011) " If there was a drag queen pageant and Mrs. Doubtfire, Noxeema Jackson, Madea and Jill had to compete (even the name, Jill, is bland), Miss Jill would get the axe before she graced the runway." — BET.com
Posted Nov 11, 2011
C —— Yelling to the Sky () " Even though 'Yelling to the Sky' tumbles, Victoria Mahoney shows great promise as a director. " — BET.com
Posted Aug 25, 2011
C 27% Colombiana (2011) " After opening weekend, 'Colombiana' will more than likely be buried in the shallow grave of other femme fatale action duds like 'Aeon Flux,' 'Catwoman' and 'Elektra.'" — BET.com
Posted Aug 25, 2011
C 74% Fright Night (2011) " The creators of 'Fright Night' tried to make a lukewarm horror flick from the '80's seem cool and relevant in 2011. They failed. Nonetheless, this was better than the atrocious remakes of 'Friday the 13th' and 'Elm Street.'" — BET.com
Posted Aug 18, 2011
C 83% Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) " Was Franco high when he signed on for this When Animals Attack!-on-CGI-steroids catastrophe?" — BET.com
Posted Aug 5, 2011
C 44% Bad Teacher (2011) " This is the type of story that would prompt a teacher to demand better character development, a stronger conflict and a bigger climax. If I had to give it a grade? A shaky C, and that is being generous." — BET.com
Posted Jun 24, 2011
C 71% Monsters (2010) " Next to 'Catfish,' 'Monsters' is probably the most anti-climatic ending of the year." — BET.com
Posted Jan 3, 2011
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