Clem Bastow

Clem Bastow

Agrees with the Tomatometer 74% of the time.

Publications:
The Vine
Total Reviews:
39

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

Showing 1 - 39 of 39
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
2/5 25% Wrath of the Titans (2012) " Those who didn't sleep through their mythology classes might recall that Helius was in fact the son of Hyperion. But, you know, Greek mythology? Whatevs, bro! Have another Tecate! " — The Vine
Posted Mar 29, 2012
5/5 74% Burning Man (2012) " Teplitzky's expressionist handling of all those wonderful contradictions is what makes Burning Man a resounding triumph." — The Vine
Posted Nov 17, 2011
3/5 36% In Time (2011) " At this point in his career, writer/director/producer Niccol seems to be amusing himself -- indeed he's admitted as much in terms of the winks and nods to Gattaca that he's peppered the film with. " — The Vine
Posted Oct 26, 2011
4/5 72% Hanna (2011) " [Joe] Wright is a natural successor to the late Anthony Minghella, able to deftly mix visual panache with small-scale emotion." — The Vine
Posted Oct 26, 2011
1/5 22% The Smurfs (2011) " The film indulges in a level of product placement not seen since the glory days of Mac & Me." — The Vine
Posted Oct 26, 2011
5/5 92% Take Shelter (2011) " Those who've never understood [anxiety] could do to see Take Shelter as a total immersion virtual reality experience." — The Vine
Posted Oct 26, 2011
3/5 58% Red State (2011) " It's Kevin Smith, though, which means that "all over the shop" is par for the course, and the shop that Red State wanders all over is, for the most part, compelling. " — The Vine
Posted Oct 26, 2011
3/5 79% Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) " As the delightfully over-the-top Red Skull, Hugo Weaving has the most fun playing a noseless villain since Ralph Fiennes lopped his off as Voldemort." — The Vine
Posted Oct 26, 2011
2/5 44% Cowboys & Aliens (2011) " No amount of gee-whiz techno-wizardry or nifty pop-cultural juxtapositions can save Cowboys & Aliens from two terrible truths: it has a dud script, and a dud director. " — The Vine
Posted Oct 26, 2011
3/5 84% Contagion (2011) " It's Purell for the disaster movie movement. You may find yourself wishing for a little more grime and viscera. " — The Vine
Posted Oct 26, 2011
3/5 26% The Cup (2012) " It won't stop the nation, but it will while away a Saturday afternoon. " — The Vine
Posted Oct 5, 2011
3/5 69% The Hunter (2012) " There is an elegiac quality to The Hunter that makes it intoxicating in spite of its faults." — The Vine
Posted Sep 29, 2011
2/5 4% Abduction (2011) " We may never know if Abduction is satire or misfire, but I spent the entire film wracked by gales of choking laughter. " — The Vine
Posted Sep 21, 2011
3/5 16% Priest (2011) " What's not to like about badass Catholic vigilantes who fly through the air to punch demons in the face? (Don't answer that.)" — The Vine
Posted Aug 25, 2011
3/5 24% Conan the Barbarian (2011) " This cinematic protein shake does precisely what it sets out to do: it's violent, it's dumb, it's fun, and it is content. " — The Vine
Posted Aug 17, 2011
3/5 36% Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) " The look of the movie is worth five stars, but when you stir in a one-star script, you end up somewhere in the middle." — The Vine
Posted Jun 27, 2011
2/5 49% Sleeping Beauty (2011) " And pretension brings on a boredom so deep that -- like Lucy's dreamless, deadened sleep -- it sucks the thinking right out of you." — The Vine
Posted Jun 24, 2011
5/5 90% Bridesmaids (2011) " It also made me laugh so much I had a coughing fit and saw stars -- and I can't remember the last time a film of any "gender" made me do that. " — The Vine
Posted Jun 15, 2011
5/5 85% Meek's Cutoff (2011) " Sparse, uncompromising and bewitching. Reichardt has stripped back all but the bare essentials, scattering the characters across the sun-bleached landscape like marbles. " — The Vine
Posted May 31, 2011
3/5 84% Get Low (2010) " It's Duvall's film, and he brings a gravity and poetry to Bush that sets him apart from the script's more prosaic moments. " — The Vine
Posted May 24, 2011
5/5 84% The Snowtown Murders (2012) " An incredible piece of cinema and a devastating, poetic work of storytelling, Snowtown is unmissable. " — The Vine
Posted May 16, 2011
2/5 27% Your Highness (2011) " It's like going at the dragon with your scimitar but then rolling a 6 and accidentally cutting off your own leg. " — The Vine
Posted May 12, 2011
4/5 92% Source Code (2011) " It's an action film concerned with speaking and thinking, rather than shouting and exploding; each time the bomb goes off, it becomes less exciting, less of a focal point, until the most striking pyrotechnics on show are of the mental and emotional sort." — The Vine
Posted May 4, 2011
4/5 77% Thor (2011) " A winning blend of thrill and feeling, respect and irreverence, Thor lifts Marvel's movie stocks considerably. " — The Vine
Posted Apr 18, 2011
1/5 23% Sucker Punch (2011) " Manages to be ugly, stupid, offensive, depressing, sexist and boring in equal measures. " — The Vine
Posted Apr 5, 2011
4/5 70% Never Let Me Go (2010) " Never Let Me Go offers an awful, enduring insight into what it must be like to have your entire being dismissed as well." — The Vine
Posted Mar 30, 2011
4/5 10% Red Riding Hood (2011) " Say what you want about Red Riding Hood, but it's the best sexy psychoanalytical soap opera fantasy you'll see all year. In fact, it may well be the only one you'll ever see." — The Vine
Posted Mar 23, 2011
2/5 35% Battle: Los Angeles (2011) " Director Jonathan Liebsman's decision to keep things at close-quarters - following solely this band of grunts rather than covering the entire city - could have worked had the film itself felt more elemental." — The Vine
Posted Mar 16, 2011
4/5 62% Griff the Invisible (2011) " It would be easy to dismiss Griff The Invisible as just another "quirky" Australian dramedy, but it's more than that. As an exploration of the collision between dreams and delusions, between loneliness and love, it's wonderful. " — The Vine
Posted Mar 9, 2011
2/5 86% Rabbit Hole (2010) " Rabbit Hole is tender and sensitive where it counts, but also terminally tasteful. And there's nothing tasteful about grief." — The Vine
Posted Feb 16, 2011
2/5 49% No Strings Attached (2011) " It ends up being just another one-night stand -- perfectly enjoyable, but mostly forgettable, and maybe even a bit regrettable. " — The Vine
Posted Feb 8, 2011
2/5 66% Tamara Drewe (2010) " As these alternately unpleasant and unfortunate souls churn about in their bucolically-set burlesque, the impression is that director Stephen Frears was out to lunch and instead employed the Scary Movie team to make English Sex Farce Movie. " — The Vine
Posted Feb 1, 2011
4/5 80% Catfish (2010) " It's a stunning dismantling of Facebook and the society of the spectacle (thanks, Debord) that goes along with it. " — The Vine
Posted Jan 20, 2011
2/5 37% Burlesque (2010) " Burlesque offers such an archetypal Hollywood narrative that explaining what happens in the film is almost irrelevant. " — The Vine
Posted Jan 10, 2011
4/5 71% Somewhere (2010) " Despite its delicate examination of celebrity culture, the film is a perfect antidote to the 'MTV Generation' attention span and need-it-now turnover of the celeb gossip machine. " — The Vine
Posted Dec 20, 2010
5/5 87% Blue Valentine (2010) " A meditation on one couple's journey in and out of love, and a testament to the talents of director Derek Cianfrance, and his two wonderful leads. " — The Vine
Posted Dec 20, 2010
2/5 49% Love and Other Drugs (2010) " Love & Other Drugs may well be a bodacious bonkfest, but you will likely find yourself looking elsewhere for any sense of post-coital engagement." — The Vine
Posted Dec 13, 2010
2/5 72% Monsters (2010) " By the time our hangdog heroes are watching misty-eyed as two psychedelic alien octopus make sweet whale-song poontang over the petrol pumps, you'll wish they'd been taken out by a "creature" in the first reel." — The Vine
Posted Nov 23, 2010
80% Made in Dagenham (2010) " For the most part, Made In Dagenham is terrifically moving and ultimately, inspiring." — The Vine
Posted Oct 27, 2010
Showing 1 - 39 of 39
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