|
0/4
|
53%
|
The Devil's Rejects (2005) |
"
It's like having excrement thrown in your face at a GG Allin concert."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 2, 2005
|
|
0/4
|
11%
|
New York Minute (2004) |
"
Who would have thunk the twins from The Shining should have their own movie?"
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted May 28, 2004
|
|
0/4
|
23%
|
Bad Boys II (2003) |
"
I saw this movie on a triple-dog dare. I wish I had opted to wait six months so I could stick my tongue to a flagpole in the freezing cold for an hour. A cinematic fist to the groin."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jul 20, 2003
|
|
0/5
|
8%
|
From Justin To Kelly (2003) |
"
Now I know how all those people felt 21 years ago when The Pirate Movie came out. This will make all the 12-year-old fans in the audience want to take up smoking, drinking, impregnating and aborting."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jun 23, 2003
|
|
0/4
|
30%
|
Scooby-Doo (2002) |
"
The most horrific movie experience I've had since "Can't Stop The Music." It may as well be called "Jar-Jar Binks: The Movie." It's that painful."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jun 16, 2002
|
|
0/4
|
14%
|
3000 Miles to Graceland (2001) |
"
Curse-a-my soul This movie couldn't be worse The prints should be delivered from the back of a Hearse "
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 12, 2002
|
|
.5/4
|
13%
|
Boogeyman (2005) |
"
Basically. it's 86 minutes of one man having a staring contest with a door."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Feb 6, 2005
|
|
.5/4
|
21%
|
AVP - Alien Vs. Predator (2004) |
"
'Whoever Wins...We Lose!' Thank you, Fox, for the truth in your advertising."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 13, 2004
|
|
.5/4
|
9%
|
The Order (The Sin Eater) (2003) |
"
Alternately laughable and sleep-inducing, The Order shows that the team behind A Knight's Tale was not just a one-trick pony. They have plenty more bad movies up their sleeves."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Sep 7, 2003
|
|
.5/4
|
17%
|
House of 1000 Corpses (2003) |
"
It's made by a guy who named himself after a mindless, soulless, wandering drone who can't make heads or tails of sense or sensibilities. I, for one, am not surprised the movie turned out the way it did."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 14, 2003
|
|
.5/4
|
34%
|
Bringing Down The House (2003) |
"
It deserves to be buried in obscurity--if not burned beyond recognition--along with other comedies of its ilk, including Carbon Copy, He's My Girl, Soul Man and Chu-Chu and the Philly Flash."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Mar 14, 2003
|
|
.5/4
|
19%
|
The Life of David Gale (2003) |
"
It does for anti-death penalty activism what Battlefield earth did for Scientology."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Feb 22, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
10%
|
House of D (2004) |
"
There exists a difference between stylized dialogue and trite, hackneyed dialogue."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted May 2, 2005
|
|
1/5
|
11%
|
The Ladies Man (2000) |
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jan 1, 2000
|
|
1/4
|
10%
|
Elektra (2005) |
"
Elektra does have some action in it, which is especially awesome if you're into bed sheets flying around."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jan 26, 2005
|
|
1/4
|
9%
|
Catwoman (2004) |
"
An adolescent fantasy run amok that owes more to drummer Peter Criss than to Julie Newmar."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jul 26, 2004
|
|
1/4
|
16%
|
You Got Served (2004) |
"
If you want to bring back the '80s by emulating those awful Golan/Globus dance movies, you have to GET Golan and Globus! Everything else is just 4th rate."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Feb 1, 2004
|
|
2.5
|
67%
|
U2: Rattle and Hum (1988) |
"
R&H exists as it does simply because U2 had “planned” too much ahead of time, the antithesis of spontaneity and the killjoy of documentary filmmaking."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jan 24, 2004
|
|
1/4
|
10%
|
Dr. Seuss - The Cat in the Hat (2003) |
"
Creepier than Michael Jackson's mug shot, and yet very similar. Parents shouldn't leave their kids alone with this circus sideshow, either."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Nov 23, 2003
|
|
1/4
|
9%
|
Marci X (2003) |
"
Marci X proves once again that dumbing down the movie in order to please the lowest common denominator cannot go hand and hand with scathing satire."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 22, 2003
|
|
1/4
|
7%
|
Gigli (2003) |
"
Imagine a movie made up entirely of Deleted Scenes...Not since Travolta and Tomlin in 1978's Moment By Moment has a love scene been this embarrassing or uncomfortable."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 3, 2003
|
|
1/4
|
0%
|
Pinocchio (2002) |
"
At times, the movie looks genuinely pretty. Your nightmares, on the other hand, will be anything but. Not even Felinni would know what to make of this Italian freakshow."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Dec 30, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
25%
|
Pearl Harbor (2001) |
"
[Pearl Harbor] makes no attempt to teach a lesson in history, for fear of losing the interest of 12-year-olds and high-school teeny-boppers. Insulting."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted May 25, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
43%
|
The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000) |
"
The Legend Of Bagger Vance takes a dry, sluggish and eerily zombie-like hobby and makes it even LESS interesting."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 30, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
7%
|
Glitter (2001) |
"
If nothing else, at least it killed a career. Max Beesely looks like a porno Luke Skywalker...The Shaggs had more talent. "
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 19, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
42%
|
Death to Smoochy (2002) |
"
It has "comedic dead zone" written all over it. Its subject might be prime fodder for satire, but it lacks even the smallest words for an essay."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 19, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
38%
|
40 Days and 40 Nights (2002) |
"
Why do screenwriters demean women in these movies by having them find these lunk-headed doofuses so attractive?"
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 12, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
5%
|
Broken Bridges (2006) |
"
It feels about as sincere and insightful as a Schlitz-induced rendition of Achy-Breaky Heart."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Sep 29, 2006
|
|
1.5/4
|
47%
|
Miami Vice (2006) |
"
Were it not for its title, this plodding, tiresome mess would have never seen the light of day."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 17, 2006
|
|
1.5/4
|
25%
|
The Da Vinci Code (2006) |
"
Some protesters believe that if you see this film, you'll go to Hell. They got it backwards. I think if you go to Hell, you'll probably see this film while you're there."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jun 11, 2006
|
|
1.5/4
|
44%
|
Take the Lead (2006) |
"
The poster says 'Never follow', while the movie itslef follows every cliche in the book."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jun 11, 2006
|
|
1.5/4
|
46%
|
Rent (2005) |
"
It comes off like a sequel to the ever-annoying Fame where the kids never moved out of New York or learned anything from Debbie Allen."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jan 15, 2006
|
|
1.5/4
|
7%
|
Undiscovered (2005) |
"
An Ashlee Simpson vehicle disguised as a 2-hour episode of Fame."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 28, 2005
|
|
1.5/4
|
34%
|
Must Love Dogs (2005) |
"
There needs to be a master list out there of conventional Romantic Comedy clichés and gestures that filmmakers and writers can refer to so as not to play to them ever again."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 2, 2005
|
|
1.5/4
|
16%
|
Cursed (2005) |
"
It's a sad day when even Wes Craven falls victim to the PG-13-ification of horror."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Feb 25, 2005
|
|
1.5/4
|
——
|
Die Reise ins Glück (A Journey Into Bliss) (2005) |
"
It's as though they took the lyrics to "I Am The Walrus" and figured there was a great movie to be made from them. "
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jan 24, 2005
|
|
1.5/4
|
33%
|
The Phantom of the Opera (2005) |
"
I didn't see a single fat lady in the entire thing. That must be why it never ended."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Dec 27, 2004
|
|
1.5/4
|
24%
|
Stateside (2004) |
"
It's as though the actors showed up on the set, picked their lines out of a hat, than spoke them in no particluar order."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted May 28, 2004
|
|
1.5/4
|
55%
|
The Girl Next Door (2004) |
"
The comparisons to Risky Business are inevitable, but like the song says, Today's music ain't got the same soul."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 15, 2004
|
|
1.5/4
|
44%
|
50 First Dates (2004) |
"
A depressing Rom-Com with more endings than Something's Gotta Give and Return of the King combined."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 2, 2004
|
|
1.5/4
|
13%
|
Welcome To Mooseport (2004) |
"
Proof that nice comedies about politics just don't work, especially during an election year."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Feb 19, 2004
|
|
1.5/4
|
36%
|
Radio (2003) |
"
I liken the experience to having someone explain to me their screenplay idea that has virtually no hook or substance. I pretty much just sit there and think, "Okay, fine...then what happens?!?""
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Oct 24, 2003
|
|
1.5/4
|
28%
|
How to Deal (2003) |
"
Imagine Sixteen Candles as re-written by Britney Spears or Ghost World as re-written by Lizzie McGuire."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jul 20, 2003
|
|
1.5/4
|
40%
|
Wrong Turn (2003) |
"
We never actually see the cannibals eat anybody, which leaves me to wonder: Are they really cannibals, or just slightly carnivorous pack rats? We may never know the answer and we will probably never care. Completely forgettable."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jun 5, 2003
|
|
1.5/4
|
8%
|
Extreme Ops (2002) |
"
Extreme Ops has plenty of value as a movie on which you and your funniest friends can goof. There exists no logic to the plot and no point to the process. And I still don't know what an Op is."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jan 25, 2003
|
|
1.5/4
|
10%
|
Darkness Falls (2003) |
"
The adults in "
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jan 25, 2003
|
|
1.5/4
|
13%
|
Ghost Ship (2002) |
"
After the first 10 minutes, which is worth seeing, the movie sinks into an abyss of clichés, depression and bad alternative music."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Oct 26, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
77%
|
Tadpole (2002) |
"
Stuffy, full of itself, morally ambiguous and nothing to shout about."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jul 30, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
22%
|
Enough (2002) |
"
This movie seems to have been written using Mad-libs. There can be no other explanation. Hilariously inept and ridiculous."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted May 26, 2002
|
|
1.5/4
|
29%
|
The Time Machine (2002) |
"
"The Time Machine" is a movie that has no interest in itself. It doesn't believe in itself, it has no sense of humor...it's just plain bored."
—
eFilmCritic.com
Posted May 25, 2002
|
72%
21%
63%
85%
46%
40%
