|
F
|
36%
|
Burlesque (2010) |
"
It's camp alright: prison camp."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 30, 2010
|
|
F
|
20%
|
Birdemic: Shock And Terror (2008) |
"
Bird-brained thriller sets a new standard for zero-budget hilarity "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 26, 2010
|
|
F
|
13%
|
The Bounty Hunter (2010) |
"
Lots of hammy faces, hollow jokes and property damage do not a farce make"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 25, 2010
|
|
F
|
13%
|
Our Family Wedding (2010) |
"
Blacks and Latinos finally star together in a major movie as wretched as anything whites have done"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 12, 2010
|
|
D
|
21%
|
The Hangover Part III (2013) |
"
The decision to center so much of the story on the volatile, one joke Chow, proves fatal as Ken Jeong is about as funny as a tubercular cough."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted May 24, 2013
|
|
D
|
47%
|
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) |
"
The cliché count is neck-and-neck with the body count in this hyperviolent and cheerfully destructive thriller."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 24, 2013
|
|
D
|
18%
|
Parental Guidance (2012) |
"
Crystal puts on his game face, and tries to muscle his way past the lousy material, but there's only so much even a natural funnyman can do in a situation like this."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 21, 2012
|
|
D
|
48%
|
Hit & Run (2012) |
"
...stands as a monument to the catastrophic downside of the auteur theory."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 21, 2012
|
|
D
|
37%
|
Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (2012) |
"
Tim and Eric were reportedly gleeful at mass audience walkouts during a recent Sundance screening, and they probably delight in savage reviews, bearing them with pride. Well, congrats, guys: You suck."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 21, 2012
|
|
D
|
3%
|
Jack and Jill (2011) |
"
Katie Holmes, on a rare furlough outside the Scientology Celebrity Center, mostly stands around and looks confused - maybe she caught a peek at the script?"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 13, 2011
|
|
D
|
71%
|
Footloose (2011) |
"
Is there any thing lamer than rebelling exactly the same way that your parents did? ... This is not to elevate the original Footloose beyond its modest, corny self, but the remake feels pointedly useless. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 7, 2011
|
|
D
|
11%
|
Creature (2011) |
"
The script (if one was ever finished), was seemingly passed through a paper shredder, tossed in the air then randomly taped back together. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 22, 2011
|
|
D
|
23%
|
The Smurfs (2011) |
"
Helmer Raja Gosnell has shown a mighty knack for soul-crushing drivel, including the Scooby-Doo movies and Big Momma's House, and he delivers the spastic, hollow and color-soaked experience you expected."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 2, 2011
|
|
D
|
15%
|
Something Borrowed (2011) |
"
...chances are your real friends are smarter, and more interesting and they almost certainly say funnier things."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted May 6, 2011
|
|
D
|
29%
|
Take Me Home Tonight (2011) |
"
...it's an even more plastic, hollow and underwhelming experience than actually living through 1988."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 4, 2011
|
|
D
|
19%
|
Just Go with It (2011) |
"
Adam Sandler no longer really makes movies so much as he takes expensive, studio-subsidized vacations."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 11, 2011
|
|
D
|
32%
|
For Colored Girls (2010) |
"
Tyler Perry is the most influential African-American director since Spike Lee, and certainly the most financially successful ever, none of which can disguise that he's a terrible filmmaker."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 6, 2010
|
|
D
|
34%
|
I Spit On Your Grave (2010) |
"
Was there really any reason to remake this?"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 22, 2010
|
|
D
|
15%
|
Sex and the City 2 (2010) |
"
Where the Middle East is rendered with all the insight and sensitivity of a Hope and Crosby"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jun 2, 2010
|
|
D
|
19%
|
The Back-up Plan (2010) |
"
Even J-Lo's much-ballyhooed caboose can't elevate this hackneyed eyesore"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 30, 2010
|
|
D
|
28%
|
Remember Me (2010) |
"
Robert Pattinson's star vehicle runs out of gas"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 17, 2010
|
|
|
42%
|
Don't Come Knocking (2006) |
"
Though there are a few great moments from the supporting players, they can't compensate for the emotional doughnut at the center of the story: a selfish, inarticulate lump where a leading man should be."
—
Orlando Weekly
Posted May 18, 2006
|
|
D+
|
38%
|
Monte Carlo (2011) |
"
...directed with benign indifference by Thomas Bezucha, whose main achievement seems to be taking the lens cap off before takes."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jul 1, 2011
|
|
D+
|
38%
|
Cars 2 (2011) |
"
Not since Hee Haw has the South been so successfully slandered; Larry the Cable Guy's live action films are beyond abysmal, and his hayseed, grinning rube act is no less offensive or cynical when transposed into cartoon form. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jun 24, 2011
|
|
D+
|
45%
|
Drive Angry (2011) |
"
Due to dippy writing and sluggish line readings, Drive Angry is never as cool as it thinks it is..."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 26, 2011
|
|
D+
|
13%
|
Yogi Bear (2010) |
"
...to damn the whole endeavor with the faintest of praise, it at least has the decency to keep the fart jokes to a minimum"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 17, 2010
|
|
D+
|
46%
|
Step Up 3-D (2010) |
"
Unless you're a Happy Meal-wielding tween, you should probably step off"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 12, 2010
|
|
D+
|
89%
|
Alle Anderen (Everyone Else) (2010) |
"
Well-acted, beautifully shot and unpardonably tedious"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jul 16, 2010
|
|
C-
|
31%
|
Total Recall (2012) |
"
Colin Farrell is the blandest of leading men; a credible actor, but charisma-deficient - no matter how many times the studios tell us he's a star. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 6, 2012
|
|
C-
|
20%
|
The Lucky One (2012) |
"
...a big serving of buttery sentimentality, splashed with drops of romance and thrift store spirituality."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 19, 2012
|
|
C-
|
0%
|
A Thousand Words (2012) |
"
Like a bad penny, Eddie Murphy is back again, in a family-friendly PG-13 comedy that nobody wants to see."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 19, 2012
|
|
C-
|
32%
|
Man on a Ledge (2012) |
"
...the movie takes its sweet time dolling out the twists, like a tree sloth hand-rolling pretzels."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 27, 2012
|
|
C-
|
34%
|
Joyful Noise (2012) |
"
Glee-haw. When everybody isn't busy gossiping, brawling and having premarital sex, there is much lip service given to obeying God and lifting His name. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 17, 2012
|
|
C-
|
36%
|
One Day (2011) |
"
Tastelessly tasteful, the movie dwells in some fevered upper-middle-class fantasia where problems of the idly rich are all that matter in the world."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 19, 2011
|
|
C-
|
82%
|
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) |
"
..cannibalizes famous images and lines from all the "Apes" flicks, which is cute until the evident lack of new ideas becomes tiresome. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 5, 2011
|
|
C-
|
21%
|
Snow Flower And The Secret Fan (2011) |
"
There's a noble tale of sacrifice and love to be found somewhere here, but it's buried beneath endless shots of billowing silk, and long takes of the leads gazing soulfully as the same four bars of weepy music drone over and over..."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 2, 2011
|
|
C-
|
34%
|
The Hangover Part II (2011) |
"
...director Todd Phillips wrongly seems to think he can solve any problem with more mayhem. How about better jokes instead?"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted May 27, 2011
|
|
C-
|
26%
|
Arthur (2011) |
"
Not even the great Helen Mirren can calibrate with Brand's clowning. ...This is drab hackwork. And it's not just because Charlie Sheen dwarfs Arthur's childish antics"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 8, 2011
|
|
C-
|
20%
|
The Rite (2011) |
"
Light on gore, The Rite's a snore, consisting largely of ponderous conversations that seminary students might have over a big bowl of pea soup."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 1, 2011
|
|
C-
|
71%
|
Somewhere (2010) |
"
Wow, so showbiz is a drag, and you need the grounding of real relationships to stay sane? Imagine that. And is there anyone really still troubled about the alienation of the wealthy and famous...?"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 11, 2011
|
|
C-
|
20%
|
The Tourist (2010) |
"
There's not enough oxygen in any room for these two giant egos to share... ...they're about as cuddly together as alien intelligences from different galaxies making first contact."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 14, 2010
|
|
C-
|
51%
|
Stone (2010) |
"
A 'serious' intent and an ill-fitting hilljack argot reduce Stone to a pebble of a fil"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 28, 2010
|
|
C-
|
9%
|
Grown Ups (2010) |
"
The market is now firmly established for the goofy, middle-aged bros-gone-wild genre"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jun 25, 2010
|
|
C-
|
35%
|
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010) |
"
Middle-of-the-road adaptation is a summer snooze"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jun 2, 2010
|
|
C-
|
15%
|
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) |
"
You'd think Jackie Earle Haley as pedophile Freddy would kill. Oh, hardly."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 30, 2010
|
|
C
|
50%
|
The Great Gatsby (2013) |
"
All the CGI-assisted, 3-D sparkle is a wonder to behold, and for a short time it effectively distracts from the inert drama underneath."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted May 23, 2013
|
|
C
|
52%
|
This is 40 (2012) |
"
There is a profound tone deafness to This is 40, yet another overly long, overly whiney and overly crude exploration of Apatow's bloated ego..."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 27, 2012
|
|
C
|
38%
|
Hyde Park on Hudson (2012) |
"
Bill Murray tries mightily to slide into the role of a great man, but it's not a comfortable fit. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 21, 2012
|
|
C
|
51%
|
Trouble with the Curve (2012) |
"
If you're surprised when the uptight lawyer and the cocky hotshot start going clog dancing, skinny-dipping and making googly-eyes at each other, then we can presume that you've never seen a movie before."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 23, 2012
|
|
C
|
16%
|
The Watch (2012) |
"
The fusion of high concept and lowbrow humor is initially amusing, but becomes unwieldy as the movie shifts into action mode and the explosions threaten to overwhelm the laugh lines. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 6, 2012
|
73%
21%
64%
85%
46%
40%
