Agrees with the Tomatometer 74% of the time.
Berlin, 1941. A dark, stormy night, and my bar and grill isn't as jumpin' as it normally gets, being the only place in town the Nazis aren't crawling all over like a baby in pudding. Tumbleweeds blowin' all through the place, an ol' Two-Gun Swackhammer and Deadeye Stoopnagle are at the bar, knockin' back whiskeys like their mothers wuz on the lam. If ya ever had the misfortune o' lookin' at those two knotheads, ya know you won't find an uglier pair o' mugs in all tha galaxy. Even that Wookiee planet. After watchin' those two mooks gargle with the scotch fer an hour, I went ta take a walk. An' that's when she walked in. A tall drink o' water with a million-dollar smile and a yours-for-a-favor booty, dressed to the nines in a white, sequined number with a low back and a high hem. She didn't have to ask me twice. I took her home, we ate some cake, had some of the none-o-your-beeswax and shuffled off to Buffalo in a 57 Chevy with a palomino dashboard and thirty-inch fins, oh yeah. If it weren't for that slobberknocker up on Thunder Road, a guy like me mighta pulled off the upset against the odds o' findin' the life everybody wants. Wasn't to be. Guys like me don't get to cheat fate. We don't dodge destiny's bullet. Come flyin' outta the womb like a bat outta hell, then spend the next handful o' decades slidin' downhill til we hit the ol' blank headstone. Ghost of Christmas Past, my patoot.more
Movies I Love: The Shawshank Redemption, High Fidelity, The Iron Giant, Spider-Man, Die Hard, Robocop, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, South Park, Life Is Beautiful, Affliction, D.C. Cab, The Jerk, Run Ronnie Run, Memento, Ghost World, In The Bedroom. Yes, the gamut is run.more
|Location:||That's Cr-EYE-min-ee Pete. Not 'Crimminee' Pete.|