|
D-
|
11%
|
Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil (2011) |
"
Somewhere during the first 30 minutes I actually felt my soul shrivel up and die. Trust me, you've had more entertaining colonoscopies."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 29, 2011
|
|
D
|
7%
|
New Year's Eve (2011) |
"
Watching Robert De Niro put yet another nail in the coffin of his career is bad enough, but et tu Michelle Pfeiffer?"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 12, 2011
|
|
D
|
10%
|
Aeon Flux (2005) |
"
What is it that drives talented actresses to dive into a hot pile of cinematic crap soon after winning their first Oscar?"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 20, 2011
|
|
D
|
23%
|
Sucker Punch (2011) |
"
Like a spastic wet dream, Snyder regurgitates fanboy fetishes to illustrate Baby Doll's reveries - without wit, innovation or subtext. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 25, 2011
|
|
D
|
11%
|
Red Riding Hood (2011) |
"
...for all of Red Riding Hood's $42 million budget Hollywood still can't create a convincing werewolf; so far, CGI has yet to surpass the practical make-up effects employed by An American Werewolf in London or The Howling 30 years ago."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 13, 2011
|
|
D
|
14%
|
Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010) |
"
You have to strive for that kind of failure"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 12, 2010
|
|
D+
|
28%
|
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) |
"
G.I. Joe: Retaliation is such a craven and relentless onslaught of obsessive gun fetishization that you half expect to see the NRA's logo appear alongside Paramount and Hasbro. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 31, 2013
|
|
D+
|
67%
|
The Company Men (2011) |
"
If you're looking for a film that puts a face to some of the least sympathetic victims of the financial crisis The Company Men will happily take your $10. For the rest of us, there's always whatever's on cable. That is, if it hasn't been disconnected."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 27, 2011
|
|
C-
|
11%
|
After Earth (2013) |
"
Is there a more satisfying career implosion than that of M. Night Shyamalan? "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted May 31, 2013
|
|
C-
|
65%
|
Disconnect (2013) |
"
There are no revelations or surprises, just newspaper editorial-style lamentations disguised as cautionary tales. I'd rather watch racism push Sandra Bullock down the stairs in Crash."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 20, 2013
|
|
C-
|
15%
|
A Good Day To Die Hard (2013) |
"
Loud, insultingly low-concept, and irony-free... today may be the perfect day to take Die Hard out back and put a bullet in its head."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 15, 2013
|
|
C-
|
48%
|
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012) |
"
...Inept and self-congratulatory. It's an eyeliner-and-bad-special-effects face off, with the Cullen family and their runway model pals voguing against Aro and his heavily robed, superpowered minions."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 16, 2012
|
|
C-
|
32%
|
Won't Back Down (2012) |
"
The question isn't how such a ham-fisted, clichéd and, frankly, stupefyingly simple-minded film got made. The question is: How did it recruit such a talented cast into its union-bashing ranks?"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 28, 2012
|
|
C-
|
74%
|
Hope Springs (2012) |
"
Instead of creating complex, three-dimensional human beings, "Hope Springs" infantilizes the emotions and life experiences of older Americans. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 7, 2012
|
|
C-
|
58%
|
Hysteria (2012) |
"
...the movie is a schwing and a miss."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jun 13, 2012
|
|
C-
|
34%
|
Battleship (2012) |
"
...more than two hours of high-priced explosion porn that piles on its chest-thumping "America, f&%k yeah!" machismo with a brazenness that makes Top Gun seem Merchant-and-Ivory quaint."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted May 18, 2012
|
|
C-
|
56%
|
Albert Nobbs (2012) |
"
Nobbs is so closed-off, so understated, that we're never given a chance to empathize with or understand him ... The movie is as unrealized and unexpressed as its protagonist."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 27, 2012
|
|
C-
|
24%
|
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011) |
"
Meyer's subtext transitions from being pro-abstinence into anti-sex. It's one thing to gussy up teenage anxieties over the loss of virginity; it's another to punish Bella's deflowering with death."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 18, 2011
|
|
C-
|
44%
|
J. Edgar (2011) |
"
Long-winded and trite, this two-and-a-half-hour exercise in Oscar bait plays like a dramatized Wikipedia entry that hasn't been edited for innuendo, half-truths and self-serving revisionism."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 13, 2011
|
|
C-
|
72%
|
Fright Night (2011) |
"
Disposable, joyless and boasting none of the wit and thrills of the original, you can't help but wonder how Fright Night messed up a concept as ripe as vampires taking over a suburban subdivision?"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 19, 2011
|
|
C-
|
73%
|
Sarah's Key (2011) |
"
How did one of the greatest acts of genocide become the cathartic equivalent of a self-help book?"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Aug 2, 2011
|
|
C-
|
36%
|
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) |
"
...trades in casual racism, sexism and murder, as well as an obsessive fetishization of war - all under the guise that it's just silly robot-bashing fun."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jul 1, 2011
|
|
C-
|
11%
|
There Be Dragons (2011) |
"
...whitewashing the origins of the controversial Opus Dei movement, this lesson in unabashed embellishment will fail to excite any but the most starry-eyed Catholic."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted May 13, 2011
|
|
C-
|
66%
|
Insidious (2011) |
"
When a pair of goofy (and unamusing) ghostbusters and their medium boss (Lin Shaye) show up, Insidious takes a tragic turn toward the stupid. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 31, 2011
|
|
C-
|
38%
|
The Eagle (2011) |
"
...enough wartime propaganda and chest-thumping battle cries to set a neocon's heart a-flutter."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 11, 2011
|
|
C-
|
49%
|
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010) |
"
...it's instructive to consider the care and craft that has gone into each successive Potter film while Narnia offers up only ever-diminishing returns"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 10, 2010
|
|
C-
|
68%
|
Leaving (Partir) (2010) |
"
Between the terrific performances and artful cinematography, this is one high-class piece of melodramatic crap."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Dec 8, 2010
|
|
C-
|
54%
|
Alpha Dog (2007) |
"
This inspired-by-reality tale is essentially an emotional snuff film. It's the kind of misguided effort a middle-aged director indulges in when he wants to reinvent himself as edgy. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 6, 2010
|
|
C-
|
54%
|
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest (2010) |
"
Dark and glacially paced way to wrap up a trilogy"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 28, 2010
|
|
C-
|
39%
|
The Little Traitor (2009) |
"
Treacly love-thy-enemy yarn in a historically remarkable place and time"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 30, 2010
|
|
C-
|
41%
|
Death at a Funeral (2010) |
"
New comedy is like one long sitcom %u2014 without the laughter"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 26, 2010
|
|
C-
|
34%
|
Formosa Betrayed (2010) |
"
When you hear dialogue like: "So, what do you know about the history of my country?" you know you're in for a whole lot of exposition"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 25, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
69%
|
Not Fade Away (2012) |
"
God save us from boomer nostalgia and its endless idealization of the '60s."
—
Orlando Weekly
Posted Jan 4, 2013
|
|
C
|
45%
|
Pain & Gain (2013) |
"
Bay only knows how to pitch his movies at one level: all bombast, all the time. And you can't help but feel that he kind of admires these murderous morons' sloping-brow sense of joie de vivre."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Apr 26, 2013
|
|
C
|
52%
|
Jack the Giant Slayer (2013) |
"
A movie made solely to land a healthy weekend box office then move on to the global market for a return on its investment. As a business strategy, it makes sense. As an instance if cinema, it's a bit depressing."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 1, 2013
|
|
C
|
46%
|
Beautiful Creatures (2013) |
"
Viola Davis suffers the greatest indignity, literally playing a magic Negro who holds down two jobs; one as a housekeeper and the other as a supernatural librarian. Both serve white people."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 14, 2013
|
|
C
|
66%
|
Mama (2013) |
"
As each contrivance piles it becomes clear that the filmmakers are just padding an otherwise sporadic and unmotivated series of jolts."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 28, 2013
|
|
C
|
34%
|
Butter (2012) |
"
There are a few chuckles along the way (mainly sight gags involving butter), but the commentary is obvious and toothless. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 4, 2012
|
|
C
|
48%
|
Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) |
"
The movie offers few thrills but will provide some great screen-savers."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jun 1, 2012
|
|
C
|
38%
|
Dark Shadows (2012) |
"
Dark Shadows can't really figure out what kind of movie it is. There's comedy and campy macabre and gothic melodrama and horror but none of it ever congeals into a story that dramatically, tonally or thematically makes sense. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted May 10, 2012
|
|
C
|
76%
|
We Need to Talk About Kevin (2012) |
"
Stylized to the point of absurdity, We Need to Talk About Kevin is little more than a blank, tarted-up cartoon, where Ramsey's hyperbolic efforts seem orchestrated to camouflage the fact that she has nothing to say. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Mar 19, 2012
|
|
C
|
53%
|
Safe House (2012) |
"
Safe House exemplifies the kind of mediocre movie Hollywood pushes into the January-February release slot. It's nothing you haven't seen elsewhere, and it's not as good - even with Denzel's impish smile."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Feb 10, 2012
|
|
C
|
39%
|
Red Tails (2012) |
"
...though it's tempting to root for Red Tails based on its intentions alone, I fear it would be similar to clapping extra loud for the handicapped child at the little league game, a celebration of effort over execution."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 21, 2012
|
|
C
|
51%
|
The Iron Lady (2012) |
"
...dull, clichéd and wrongheaded as a biopic can be, sporting a shallow and hamfisted script, and equally inept direction. But Streep sure makes a great Margaret Thatcher."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Jan 12, 2012
|
|
C
|
81%
|
The Skin I Live In (2011) |
"
Not even DePalma, at his sleaziest, or Hitchcock, at his most sexually frustrated, dared to be so unabashedly ugly."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 16, 2011
|
|
C
|
69%
|
Tower Heist (2011) |
"
The 99 percent get to pay $10 to watch a member of the 1 percent pretend to steal back their money. Who's laughing their way to the bank now?"
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Nov 4, 2011
|
|
C
|
40%
|
The Big Year (2011) |
"
If The Big Year does anything, it highlights how far Martin, Black, and Wilson have fallen from the giddy, off-kilter humor they used to bring to projects."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 16, 2011
|
|
C
|
37%
|
Restless (2011) |
"
Restless may have a few things working in its favor, but the balance tips toward quaint self-indulgence, teenage narcissism and amateur storytelling. "
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Oct 6, 2011
|
|
C
|
29%
|
Machine Gun Preacher (2011) |
"
Forster's sincere but graceless reinforcement of the white bwana myth is either unable or unwilling to confront the violent and lawless actions of its supposedly God-fearing Christian protagonist."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 30, 2011
|
|
C
|
25%
|
Killer Elite (2011) |
"
...ust another middle-of-the-road, choppily edited, unsatisfying mess of an action movie. Think of it as The Killer Mediocre."
—
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
Posted Sep 22, 2011
|
71%
83%
63%
52%
26%
4%
