JoBlo

JoBlo

Agrees with the Tomatometer 65% of the time.

Biography:
Born in Amsterdam, Holland, the son of an immigrant Armenian father and a Swedish buxom mother, Berge spent the first eight years of his life trying to find a way out of his soulless existence on our planet. His discovery of television quickly dissolved that dilemma and shot his mind into the nothingness that still remains fairly prominent today. After losing his parents in Switzerland one weekend, Berge dedicated his life to "finding himself" in film and "getting laid" before the age of 21. Successful at neither, Berge swam across the Atlantic Ocean and spent his "salad days" working the graveyard shift at the local Bob’s Big Boy.After an unsuccessful robbery attempt on himself, Berge realized that his days of bumming smokes off others were dwindling (And he didn’t even smoke!). He quickly shaved himself down, washed his *** and watched "Reservoir Dogs" about a hundred times before investing his life to the medium of film. And with his quick stint in the gay porn industry behind him, Berge re-dedicated himself to writing movie screenplays, of which he wrote four, completing his MBA and becoming an online movie critic for the masses. Having worked in the fast-food and porn industries, Berge felt like he had an affinity with the common folk, the lunch box people, the people who stayed up late and watched an awful lot of Tony Robbins commercials. Thankfully, Berge was able to convert his sad drinking problem into a much happier drinking problem and eventually secure himself a part-time gig as movie critic for a local Canadian radio station. He also started up JoBlo’s Movie Emporium: A haven for all movie orphans like himself. Nowadays, Berge is happily married with three kids (The kids aren’t really his and he’s actually single) and spends most of this time surfing the Net in search of his missing parents. His long-term goal is to become a film producer, while his short-term motto remains the same as it has always been: "It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man." Thank you, Mr. Jack Handy.
Favorites:
Some of my favourite movies include: Goodfellas, Star Wars, When Harry met Sally, Fight Club, Swingers, Reservoir Dogs, Edward Scissorhands, True Romance, Dark City, Annie Hall, Lost Highway, Airplane 1 & 2, Raising Arizona, The Crow, Seven, Trainspotting.
Publications:
DVD Clinic , JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Total Reviews:
1334
Total QuickRatings:
1
Location:
Montreal, Canada

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

Showing 1 - 50 of 1334
Previous | Next
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
30% Survival of the Dead (2010) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Mar 16, 2012
6/10 91% Panic (2000) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 29, 2011
4% In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2006) " Don't waste your time." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 15, 2011
59% RocknRolla (2008) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 15, 2011
9/10 56% The Revenant (2012) " The Revenant is flat-out fantastic horror-comedy that is safely mentioned in the same breath as masterpieces such as Re-Animator." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 15, 2011
—— Dread (2009) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 15, 2011
7/10 36% Descent (2007) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 4, 2011
7/10 78% Burn After Reading (2008) " All in all though, fun times. I look forward to revisiting it again in the future, like most Coen bros movies." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Nov 21, 2008
7/10 45% The Strangers (2008) " An extremely effective claustrophobic horror picture that starts slow but ultimately provides us with plenty of suspense all the way through to its very dark ending." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Nov 21, 2008
5/10 41% Hancock (2008) " What an odd movie!" — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Nov 21, 2008
7/10 39% Speed Racer (2008) " A flashy, colorful film that packs a ton o' fun into its fast-paced frame." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Oct 18, 2008
8/10 71% Wanted (2008) " Kudos to graphic novelists Mark Millar and J.G. Jones for coming up with this fun and electric idea in the first place and here's hoping that they can create an ongoing cool environment in which these groovy characters can excel." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Oct 18, 2008
5/10 64% Baby Mama (2008) " I've been majorly disappointed by romantic comedies over the past year or so." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Oct 18, 2008
7/10 37% You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008) " I cracked up during a lot of this movie." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Oct 18, 2008
4/10 14% The Love Guru (2008) " Allow me to say this very clearly: this is not a good movie." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Oct 18, 2008
9/10 94% The Dark Knight (2008) " The Dark Knight delivered on many fronts." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Sep 12, 2008
7/10 93% Iron Man (2008) " Iron Man is the best superhero film to come along since Batman Begins, and is one hell of a way to start off summer of 2008." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Sep 5, 2008
6/10 87% Kung Fu Panda (2008) " A fun movie that manages to entertain pretty much the whole way through." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Sep 5, 2008
5/10 70% Definitely, Maybe (2008) " Not entirely successful, but worth a look." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jul 18, 2008
8/10 84% Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) " Fun stuff." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jul 18, 2008
7/10 48% The Ruins (2008) " I enjoyed most of the picture, particularly its ending, which much like the rest of the movie, remained pretty dark and pessimistic." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jul 11, 2008
7/10 91% Transsiberian (2008) " A unique picture that left me feeling -- for the first time in a very long time -- like I'd actually been in another place, another world...so very different from my own." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jul 11, 2008
4/10 11% Fool's Gold (2008) " The film's final half hour does feature some decent action though, but by that point, you don't really care." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jul 11, 2008
6/10 82% In Bruges (2008) " The two lead actors, Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell, were great in their respective roles." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jul 11, 2008
7/10 85% Kuroi Ame (Black Rain) (1989) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jun 6, 2008
8/10 36% Street Kings (2008) " Granted, it doesn't revolutionize the cop genre, but it definitely does a solid job of entertaining for its runtime, and as a movie-watcher (and lover)...ain't much else that I can ask for than that." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jun 6, 2008
4/10 16% Untraceable (2008) " Bah! What a lame-o thriller." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jun 6, 2008
5/10 36% 21 (2008) " A cliché-ridden ride through the world of blackjack." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jun 6, 2008
4/10 21% Semi-Pro (2008) " I have to admit that not much about this movie made me laugh much at all." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jun 6, 2008
4/10 27% What Happens in Vegas (2008) " I only wish they'd have spent more time drunk and in Vegas in the whole movie. Alas..." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Jun 6, 2008
6/10 73% The Mist (2007) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted May 30, 2008
4/10 35% National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted May 30, 2008
7/10 16% Jumper (2008) " I really liked this movie but unfortunately much like its lead character, played effectively by Hayden Christensen, it moved a little too fast." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 25, 2008
4/10 41% 27 Dresses (2008) " It's 'chick flicks' like this that give all chick flicks a bad name." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 25, 2008
7/10 93% Enchanted (2007) " Lo and behold, the film held my interest the whole way through, and yes...even made me chuckle here and there." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 25, 2008
7/10 67% Shoot 'Em Up (2007) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 18, 2008
7/10 88% 3:10 to Yuma (2007) " I was surprised at how engaged I remained throughout almost the entire movie, and much of that credit might have to go to the film's dual leads, Christian Bale and Russell Crowe..." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 18, 2008
3/10 18% Chapter 27 (2007) " Stop the madness and please avoid this film at all costs." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Apr 18, 2008
7/10 94% No Country for Old Men (2007) " Chockful of suspense." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 22, 2008
7/10 90% Michael Clayton (2007) " A serviceable drama/thriller that starts a little slow, but ultimately gets into a nice rhythm." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 22, 2008
5/10 94% Juno (2007) " Yes, I'll say it: this film is overrated." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 22, 2008
5/10 96% Ratatouille (2007) " One of the few Pixar films which, for me, seemed more geared toward just kids, as opposed to their usual balance of kid/adult themes." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 22, 2008
5/10 86% Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007) " I was bored out of my skull during many a scene in this film, and wouldn't dare recommend it to anyone who, like me, doesn't like old fashioned musicals." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 22, 2008
4/10 14% Hitman (2007) " Director Xavier Gens admirably tries his best with the material but he is failed by a sub-par script by Skip Woods." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 8, 2008
7/10 51% 30 Days of Night (2007) " It certainly does entertain, particularly for those who consider a man chopping off the head of one of his friends...entertaining. Twice!" — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 8, 2008
6/10 19% The Invasion (2007) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 8, 2008
7/10 60% 300 (2007) " Machismo, thy name is Sparta!" — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 8, 2008
5/10 29% The Heartbreak Kid (2007) " If you watch this film, don't expect much and you may not be too disappointed. Now there's a ringing endorsement for ya!" — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 1, 2008
7/10 70% I Am Legend (2007) " I liked a lot of things about this movie, but there were two things that I didn't care for too much." — JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 1, 2008
8/10 61% Crank (2006) JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Posted Feb 1, 2008
Showing 1 - 50 of 1334
Previous | Next
  • Sort by Rating:

    Sort results by this critic's rating. This option is only available for critics with a rating system (4 star, letter grade, 1-10, etc.)

  • Sort by T-meter:

    Sort results by the Tomatometer (percentage of critics recommending a certain movie)

Find us on:                     
Help | About | Jobs | Critics Submission | Press | API | Licensing | Mobile