Jonathan R. Perry

Jonathan R. Perry
""Gentlemen, you can't fight in here -- this is the War Room!" -- Peter Sellers, "Dr. Strangelove" "I don't need this working-class hero crap." -- Richard Dreyfuss, "Jaws" "That's unfortunate, because it sucks ***." -- Jack Black, "High Fidelity""

Agrees with the Tomatometer 84% of the time.

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

Showing 101 - 150 of 626
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
3/4 85% Batman Begins (2005) " A defiantly adult film that succeeds where four predecessors have failed: Remaining true to the mythology it creates without enslaving itself in comic-book silliness. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jun 26, 2005
1.5/4 41% High Tension (Switchblade Romance) (2005) " All the inhumanity we endure exists only to titillate for its own sake - the ritualized, sadomasochistic violence is the payoff itself. That's not art - that's pornography. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jun 15, 2005
3/4 59% Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005) " Somewhere among the impossibly athletic gunplay and impossibly witty sparring by two impossibly attractive leads is a sly, incisive metaphor for the modern American marriage. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jun 15, 2005
77% The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (2005) " A film I expected to enter the ninth circle of the chirpy Hilary Duff 'girl-power' inferno is one of the sweetest, most thoughtful coming-of-age stories I've seen in years. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jun 4, 2005
.5/4 31% The Longest Yard (2005) " As humorless, lazy and oppressively inane as anything since any one of the witless car chase movies that derailed Burt Reynolds' career not long after the original wrapped. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jun 1, 2005
3/4 41% Kicking & Screaming (2005) " Enjoyment depends entirely on your level of admiration for Ferrell's comic persona, the manic zeal that drove 'Anchorman' and 'Elf' to occasionally inspired heights of lunacy " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted May 19, 2005
4/4 80% Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith 3D (2005) " A glorious, perversely satisfying conclusion to a labor of love ... and a grand entertainment in its own right. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted May 19, 2005
2/4 60% The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) " "Golly bum, it's so darn ... good natured that I wanted to like it - until it became obvious whimsy can reach toxic levels in the human bloodstream. La da di, la di da. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted May 3, 2005
2.5/4 56% The Interpreter (2005) " Thanks to Kidman and the always-terrific Penn, where it fails as political paranoia thriller it often scores as human drama. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Apr 26, 2005
.5/4 2% King's Ransom (2005) " One of those barbarically unfunny romps that would be over in less than 10 minutes if just one character had an IQ higher than a cherry Pop-Tart. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Apr 26, 2005
2.5/4 65% Fever Pitch (2005) " Never approaches the rolling boil its title suggests, and laugh for laugh, it's the least successful comedy the Farrelly Brothers have made. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Apr 17, 2005
1/4 23% The Amityville Horror (2005) " Michael Bay should have been strung up by his Buster Browns for getting the Big Idea of exploiting the DeFeo tragedy for a new generation. Let this family rest in peace. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Apr 17, 2005
3.5/4 74% The Upside of Anger (2005) " Is Mike Binder the new Woody Allen? " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Apr 3, 2005
2/4 43% Guess Who (2005) " The filmmakers seem to have forgotten that even today, the most memorable battles have two fronts. And they usually don't involve a man wearing a woman's underwear. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Mar 30, 2005
1.5/4 15% Miss Congeniality 2 - Armed and Fabulous (2005) " We never find 'congeniality' in a clunky, mean-spirited sequel that mines most its 'humor' from one unlikable character's sadistic abuse of another unlikable character. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Mar 26, 2005
1.5/4 20% The Ring Two (2005) " ... it's best to give up on the plot because it's horse manure (and not even pure horse manure). Sometimes the well just runs dry. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Mar 26, 2005
3.5/4 64% Robots (2005) " An innate awareness that generating underarm faux flatulence is difficult when you're made of metal, but not impossible, is just the spirit we need to see more often. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Mar 26, 2005
2/4 30% Be Cool (2005) " Almost scandalous in the sheer volume of talent it squanders ... " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Mar 8, 2005
3/4 79% Pooh's Heffalump Movie (2005) " Comfort food for the family: a winning, frequently funny tale of love, camarederie and understanding set in a visual universe as arresting as it is idyllic. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Mar 1, 2005
2.5/4 69% Hitch (2005) " Merely cute when it could be affecting, pleasant when it could be relevant. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Mar 1, 2005
1.5/4 46% Constantine (2005) " A construct of heaven and hell that makes no sense, and changes when the plot requires it, is the least of its problems. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Mar 1, 2005
2.5/4 10% The Wedding Date (2005) " 'The Wedding Date' doesn't exactly resurrect romantic comedy, but it proves there's still life in the genre. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Feb 8, 2005
4/4 91% Million Dollar Baby (2004) " ... a deeply felt (but never feel-good) father-daughter love story - and one of the most emotionally shattering films ever made. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Feb 1, 2005
4/4 96% Sideways (2004) " Neither a bang nor a whimper, but a warm, engaging dialogue about things that matter, in words that must be said. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Feb 1, 2005
1/4 11% Are We There Yet? (2005) " 'Are We There Yet?' is an eerily appropriate title for cinema's first authentic endurance test of 2005. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jan 25, 2005
3/4 83% In Good Company (2004) " A smart, funny and refreshingly honest portrait of life in transition. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jan 25, 2005
2/4 32% The Phantom of the Opera (2005) " An awkward, overstuffed and occasionally painful delusion of grandeur ... " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jan 25, 2005
2/4 10% Elektra (2005) " When we can get the Lifetime Network on basic cable, and watch 'Alias' every Wednesday night for free, is this really necessary? " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jan 25, 2005
2/4 8% White Noise (2005) " The rare jolt of adrenaline is meager compensation for the dopey pastiche of every successful supernatural thriller of the last decade. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jan 12, 2005
3.5/4 83% Finding Neverland (2004) " Man, did Johnny Depp pick the wrong year to give the performance of a lifetime. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jan 4, 2005
1.5/4 30% Flight of the Phoenix (2004) " Pop quiz: What's worse than a disaster flick? Answer: A remake of a disaster flick. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Jan 4, 2005
1/4 16% Alexander (2004) " Whipping a battery at the screen would have accomplished nothing -- but I haven't ruled out a drive to LA so I can whip a battery at Oliver Stone. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Dec 4, 2004
5/5 71% The Night of the Iguana (1964) Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Nov 28, 2004
2.5/4 18% After the Sunset (2004) " Every bit as easygoing as its tropical island setting, and every bit as uninspired and uninspiring. Its pleasantness is its undoing. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Nov 21, 2004
1/4 68% The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (2004) " A cartoon sponge and starfish playing fisticuffs with a marauding biker on David Hasselhoff's live-action backside is the most asinine image I've ever seen at the movies. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Nov 21, 2004
1.5/4 27% Bridget Jones - The Edge of Reason (2004) " If Bridget Jones - a character incapable of learning from her mistakes - is a feminist role model, the movement's in for a setback. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Nov 21, 2004
4/4 97% The Incredibles (2004) " Wild, wondrous and utterly disarming ... sweet but never saccharine, freed from the shackles of postmodern irony and cleverness for its own sake. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Nov 8, 2004
1.5/4 39% The Grudge (2004) " A visually interesting but fatally underwhelming horror film, cynically devised to avoid taxing the intellect of anyone on a third-grade reading level. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Nov 6, 2004
2/4 48% Saw (2014) " Clumsy, but crudely effective; liberating in its horrific imagery, but undone by the very same. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Nov 6, 2004
2/4 46% Shall We Dance (2004) " A warm, honestly observed study of middle-age awakening becomes a vehicle to pull J.Lo's caboose. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Oct 18, 2004
2/4 35% Shark Tale (2004) " We needn't look further than 'Shark Tale' to realize the studio that revolutionized the art of CGI animation doesn't own the patent on wit and imagination. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Oct 3, 2004
3/4 31% The Forgotten (2004) " Any film capable of simultaneously causing me to douse my lap with Mountain Dew in surprise and inspiring the biggest unintentional laugh I've had all year deserves credit. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Sep 28, 2004
3.5/4 72% Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004) " What we should expect of a night at the movies: Bold, clever, inventive, exhilarating - and often enough, magical. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Sep 28, 2004
3/4 60% Wimbledon (2004) " Joins 'Four Weddings and a Funeral,' 'Notting Hill' and 'About a Boy' in that distinctly British niche of 'chick flicks' that can be enjoyed without a lobotomy. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Sep 28, 2004
1.5/4 21% Resident Evil - Apocalypse (2004) " Nemesis looks like what would happen if The Toxic Avenger ate The Terminator. He fires a rocket launcher. Stuff 'splodes, people die. Get back to your Cheetos. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Sep 28, 2004
2.5/4 71% Napoleon Dynamite (2004) " Its acutely observed triumph is also its undoing: It's hard to satirize oppressive tedium without becoming oppressively tedious. This movie's not low-key, it's no-key. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Sep 10, 2004
3.5/4 43% The Clearing (2004) " A haunting film about the evil that men do. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Sep 10, 2004
1/4 26% Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004) " I never thought a film about giant snakes that eat people could be this atrociously dull. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Sep 1, 2004
1.5/4 11% Exorcist: The Beginning (2004) " Stellan Skarsgard deserves another movie. This cruel, nasty, ugly prequel deserves to be exorcised right off the marquee. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Sep 1, 2004
2.5/4 14% Without a Paddle (2004) " More enjoyable than we have any right to reasonably expect. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Sep 1, 2004
2.5/4 18% Suspect Zero (2004) " A visually inventive, capably performed package that, when opened, reveals nothing on the inside. " ‐ Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Posted Sep 1, 2004
Showing 101 - 150 of 626