|
0.0/4.0
|
84%
|
The Tree of Life (2011) |
"
If I can prevent just one person from watching this, it'll have been worth suffering through it."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Dec 31, 2011
|
|
0.0/4.0
|
74%
|
Where the Wild Things Are (2009) |
"
Never having read the book, it must be better than this."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Apr 7, 2010
|
|
0.0/4.0
|
14%
|
Black Christmas (2006) |
"
All setup and no payoff makes this a dull film."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Oct 17, 2007
|
|
0.0/4.0
|
4%
|
The Fog (2005) |
"
Irredeemably irresponsible."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Oct 15, 2005
|
|
0.0/4
|
23%
|
Torque (2004) |
"
Casualties of this wreck are numerous and unfortunate."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jan 16, 2004
|
|
0/4
|
4%
|
House of the Dead (2003) |
"
I want my ninety minutes back."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Oct 19, 2003
|
|
0/4
|
30%
|
Scooby-Doo (2002) |
"
... represents the very essence of taking a studio-owned property and sucking out its soul ...at the expense of everyone that once cherished it."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jun 16, 2002
|
|
0.5/4.0
|
78%
|
Flight (2012) |
"
Denzel Washington's one-note character is a prisoner of a one-thought plot."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jan 4, 2013
|
|
0.5/4.0
|
14%
|
Hard Breakers (2011) |
"
Remember those teen sex comedies like Losin' It that started the careers of people like Tom Cruise? This isn't one of them."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted May 19, 2011
|
|
0.5/4.0
|
12%
|
Jonah Hex (2010) |
"
When making a feature film based on a Western horror comic, (don't) remove it from the Old West, sanitize the horrific bits, and mistake the term "comic" for the funny kind."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jun 27, 2010
|
|
0.5/4.0
|
47%
|
MacGruber (2010) |
"
... everything here that doesn't feel ripped off from other spoofs plays like a middle school playground reenactment."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted May 23, 2010
|
|
0.5/4.0
|
21%
|
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) |
"
If you want to see all the cool special effects in this remake, watch the trailer. If you want the extreme environmentalist agenda that goes with them, buy a ticket."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Dec 12, 2008
|
|
0.5/4.0
|
17%
|
The Happening (2008) |
"
... M. Night desperately needs to find that special someone whose opinion he'll listen to when they say,'No! BAD writer-producer-director! NOT a good idea!'"
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jun 15, 2008
|
|
0.5/4.0
|
21%
|
Dead Silence (2007) |
"
'Beware the film of Mary Shaw's; it had no scares, only flaws.'"
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Mar 27, 2007
|
|
0.5/4
|
13%
|
The Haunted Mansion (2003) |
"
... essentially a soulless collection of episodic gags... only serves to hammer a few more nails into [Eddie Murphy's] career's coffin."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Dec 20, 2003
|
|
0.5/4
|
36%
|
Scary Movie 3 (2003) |
"
... the only people who'll remember it will be the ones cashing their checks afterward (or who'll campaign a studio later to do another one of these turkeys)."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Nov 15, 2003
|
|
0.5/4
|
17%
|
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) |
"
... with few exceptions, the cast is excellent but the story is terrible... "League" still isn't as bad as Sean Connery's "The Avengers.""
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Aug 18, 2003
|
|
0.5/4
|
30%
|
Dreamcatcher (2003) |
"
Two words: anal leakage."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Apr 6, 2003
|
|
0.5/4
|
53%
|
The Mothman Prophecies (2002) |
"
Whether Pellington or Gere is to blame for keeping the obvious potential of this weak thriller down, someone should be held responsible. Even the Mothman doesn't have to predict how well this film will do at the box office."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Dec 29, 2002
|
|
0.5/4
|
43%
|
The Rules of Attraction (2002) |
"
... unless you're interested in seeing kids with $2000 computers complaining about money or mindless parties full of nudity and drug use, rent "Go" instead."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Nov 13, 2002
|
|
0.5/4
|
49%
|
Unfaithful (2002) |
"
... for all the mistakes this couple made, the story makes the viewer suffer more than the couple on screen."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted May 12, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
12%
|
Surf Ninjas (1993) |
"
No, no, no, No, NO!"
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted May 6, 2005
|
|
1/5
|
41%
|
She-Devil (1989) |
"
Proof that Roseanne sold her soul for fame."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Dec 8, 2004
|
|
1/5
|
22%
|
Blind Date (1987) |
"
Would you believe My Stepmother Is an Alien was better?"
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Dec 8, 2004
|
|
1/5
|
64%
|
Dick Tracy (1990) |
"
Should have stayed in the funny pages."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Sep 15, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
13%
|
Candyman 3: Day of the Dead (1999) |
"
Please. Stop. We're begging."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Sep 8, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
38%
|
Swing Kids (1993) |
"
Why, God?"
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Apr 6, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
47%
|
First Knight (1995) |
"
No Merlin, no magic, no way."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Apr 6, 2003
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
68%
|
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011) |
"
Bored now. 'Teddy Ruxpin is evil' would have been a more plausible explanation."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Oct 22, 2011
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
9%
|
My Soul to Take (2010) |
"
With either too much or too little happening on screen and a script juggling too many red herrings at once, My Soul to Take feels like Purgatory... in 3D."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Oct 27, 2010
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
11%
|
The Unborn (2009) |
"
Smoking-hot heroine. Clever paranormal premise. Painfully clueless conclusion."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Mar 18, 2010
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
52%
|
The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009) |
"
Remember how much fun the cast of Ocean's 12 looked like they were having while the audiences watching it weren't? Same thing."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Dec 26, 2009
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
42%
|
Jennifer's Body (2009) |
"
Feeling awfully long for a short movie, two-dimensional characters and spotty editing fail to capitalize on a clever idea."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Oct 6, 2009
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
21%
|
H2: Halloween II (2009) |
"
... the only point to Rob Zombie's unfocused and oft-times boring sequel appears to be in making (his previous) remake look like genius in comparison."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Aug 29, 2009
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
14%
|
Year One (2009) |
"
While... the filmmakers had a good time making the movie, not enough of it translates into a successful film... the script could have used a lot more divine intervention."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jun 21, 2009
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
2%
|
Meet the Spartans (2008) |
"
What does it say about a film with an hour running time that has twenty minutes of outtakes after the credits to reach theatrical length? Very little that's positive."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Feb 10, 2009
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
78%
|
Burn After Reading (2008) |
"
Burn Before Watching."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jan 3, 2009
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
0%
|
One Missed Call (2008) |
"
Are we really supposed to believe that, if you die angry while holding a cell phone, you can make the 'Can you hear me now?' guy throw himself in front of a bus?"
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Dec 24, 2008
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
0%
|
Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008) |
"
... derivative. Sadly, the movie we really wanted to see is only hinted at... about thirty seconds into the credits."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Nov 20, 2008
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
32%
|
The X-Files: I Want to Believe (The X Files 2) (2008) |
"
... (not) the tribute to what made the series great that we'd hoped for, just a sad reminder of why we lost interest to begin with."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jul 27, 2008
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
45%
|
The Strangers (2008) |
"
How bad is a stalker/killer flick when it's just as lame whether the victims live or die? All suspense and no payoff doesn't look clever, just lazy."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jun 12, 2008
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
12%
|
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (AVP 2) (2007) |
"
... why not just film an intergalactic reality show where eager young predators can prove their worth for fabulous prizes by surviving 24 hours on the alien homeworld?"
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jan 16, 2008
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
83%
|
Atonement (2007) |
"
... the only thing worse than leaving the theater unfulfilled is feeling manipulated and foolish for your own emotional investment."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Dec 16, 2007
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
48%
|
Shooter (2007) |
"
... the twists within twists become so laughable that you can't take anything seriously... the only thing missing here is a laugh track."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Aug 26, 2007
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
89%
|
Zodiac (2007) |
"
A psycho-killer detective story with a less-than-thrilling pace and length."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Aug 12, 2007
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
56%
|
Vacancy (2007) |
"
... every scene... add(s) to the film's running time instead of adding to the story. The real Vacancy... (is) the sum total of all the holes in this plot."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Apr 22, 2007
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
32%
|
The Black Dahlia (2006) |
"
... ends up being forgettable enough that someone else in the future may still be able to take another stab at the idea."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jan 28, 2007
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
7%
|
Date Movie (2006) |
"
Looting the key scenes and plot points of hit movies is the bread and butter of spoof comedies, but the script for Date Movie is about as funny as dry white toast."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Jan 28, 2007
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
20%
|
Derailed (2005) |
"
The only thing harder to believe than someone falling for so obvious a ruse is for that same someone to have any chance of getting even for it."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Dec 30, 2006
|
|
1.0/4.0
|
10%
|
Pulse (2006) |
"
Neat idea; horrible execution. No wonder the studio couldn't (decide) where to unload this turkey."
—
MovieCrypt.com
Posted Aug 15, 2006
|
