Kristian Harloff

Kristian Harloff

Agrees with the Tomatometer 83% of the time.

Publications:
Schmoes Know
Total Reviews:
204

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

Showing 1 - 50 of 204
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
2.8/5 62% The Maze Runner (2014) " The acting is solid, but inevtiably "The Maze Runner" doesn't feel that satisying to complete." — Schmoes Know
Posted Sep 17, 2014
3.5/5 66% A Walk Among the Tombstones (2014) " It excels at being a dark, gritty tale of vengeance...and it's at least something to get the fall movie season back on track. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Sep 17, 2014
2.4/5 19% Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) " I think kids can get on board with most of what this latest edition offers; as a lifelong fan of the franchise I only wish that the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" got to be in their own movie more." — Schmoes Know
Posted Aug 18, 2014
4/5 92% Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) " Gunn has helped take a relatively unknown property and made a film that will surely help blast these incredible characters to a level of fame that will spread across the galaxy." — Schmoes Know
Posted Aug 18, 2014
1.5/5 20% Into The Storm (2014) " What could have at least been a fun, eyeball-popping natural disaster flick instead becomes an exercise in what not to do with a summer movie." — Schmoes Know
Posted Aug 18, 2014
2.8/5 33% The Expendables 3 (2014) " Although I had fun, this franchise has overstayed its welcome. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Aug 18, 2014
3.8/5 92% Frank (2014) " Fassbender proves his range whether he's a mutant wearing a helmet...or a quirky lead singer wearing a mask." — Schmoes Know
Posted Aug 18, 2014
5/5 90% Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes (2014) " Led by motion-capture pioneer Andy Serkis and Toby Kebbel, these performances should make a serious case for Oscar consideration. These are real actors that are able to express depth of emotion just like their all-human counterparts. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Jul 10, 2014
3.8/5 66% The Rover (2014) " The Rover is not meant for everyone, but it's worth consideration if you don't mind getting lost in David Marchad's bleak Australian future for a couple hours." — Schmoes Know
Posted Jun 16, 2014
4.25/5 80% The Fault In Our Stars (2014) " It's a film with some very sad moments and will definitely ellicit more tears than probably any movie this summer, but it's also one of the best this season has to offer." — Schmoes Know
Posted Jun 5, 2014
2.5/5 48% Maleficent (2014) " Overall though, "Maleficent" just can't muster much magic with it's arresting new take on the classic villain. This isn't the scariest creature in movie history anymore, it's just a woman who should've known better than to trust a guy." — Schmoes Know
Posted May 30, 2014
4.5/5 90% Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow (2014) " It's "Aliens" meets "Groundhog Day" meets "Starship Troopers" meets "Source Code", and each of those films' best traits are expertly deployed into "Edge of Tomorrow". " — Schmoes Know
Posted May 28, 2014
2.4/5 33% A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) " Comedy is certainly subjective, but as a fan of MacFarlane's other work I found "A Million Ways to Die in the West" a comedy misfire." — Schmoes Know
Posted May 28, 2014
5/5 91% X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) " Quite simply, "X-Men: Days of Future Past" ensures the legacy of the "X-Men" movies being among the best franchises the comic books have to offer." — Schmoes Know
Posted May 23, 2014
3.6/5 73% Godzilla (2014) " As great as the ending is, I just can't help but think that I wanted more." — Schmoes Know
Posted May 12, 2014
3.5/5 73% Neighbors (2014) " The most impressive thing about this film is Efron; he has once and for broken free of the Disney, "High School Musical" stigma with this role as a hard-partying frat boy." — Schmoes Know
Posted May 8, 2014
4.5/5 88% Chef (2014) " Cooks up the perfect blend of talent, storytelling and heart. The food might lure you into the theater, the rest of the film keeps you wanting more." — Schmoes Know
Posted May 8, 2014
3.8/5 72% Palo Alto (2014) " Long after the movie was finished I found myself drifting back to "Palo Alto"...it doesn't have a tidy wrap-up, and that's one of the many traits of high school life it gets right." — Schmoes Know
Posted May 8, 2014
3.25/5 53% The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) " "Too many villains! It is a better attempt than Sam Raimi's "Spider-Man 3" but it's far from perfect." — Schmoes Know
Posted May 8, 2014
4/5 89% Locke (2014) " Steven Knight directs a sleek 82-minute tour de force that is as engaging as it is single-minded. We're with "Locke" the entire time, and it's certainly a trip worth taking." — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 25, 2014
1.4/5 24% The Other Woman (2014) " A disappointing attempt at comedy that ends up being three talented, attractive woman failing to make us believe this story or laugh at its absurdity." — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 25, 2014
2/5 26% Brick Mansions (2014) " Despite Walker and Belle giving solid performances and impressing in some fight scenes, "Brick Mansions" is a ridiculously stupid and forgettable action flick that probably shouldn't even be viewed on Netflix. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 25, 2014
2.4/5 19% Transcendence (2014) " The performances are fine, as one would expect with this cast, but the writing and sadly the directing in "Transcendence" lacked the vision or coherence necessary to make such a high-concept film fly. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 21, 2014
3.2/5 86% Joe (2014) " The film as a whole is a bit underwhelming but based on the strength of it's cast, and the joy in seeing Cage not do a role just for the cash, "Joe" will be a worthwhile watch once it hits Netflix." — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 11, 2014
4/5 62% Draft Day (2014) " To get the full blessing of the NFL and it's properties is a blessing and you better get it right. He does, and "Draft Day" has all the drama football fans love and perfectly placed humor that makes it appealing to fans of film in general." — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 11, 2014
3.8/5 48% Rio 2 (2014) " Michael Bay could take a note that when we come to see birds (or Transformers), we don't need lots of human interference (Shia LaBeouf shrieking)" — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 9, 2014
3.4/5 74% Oculus (2014) " Yes, there's the requisite jump scares and some other stock horror film tricks, but on the whole "Oculus" delivers a non-traditional story with a fresh twist that should keep audiences satisfied...even if scary movies aren't their genre." — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 9, 2014
3/5 59% Dom Hemingway (2014) " The overall movie is fine, it just doesn't match the amazing ability of it's lead." — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 8, 2014
3.4/5 60% Nymphomaniac: Volume II (2014) " The film is impressive in it's storytelling and brutal honesty, although the conclusion felt forced to me after being engaged for so long. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 8, 2014
3.5/5 86% Under the Skin (2014) " It may turn some viewers off, but "Under the Skin" is a worthwhile new take on the classic horror premise of body-snatching." — Schmoes Know
Posted Apr 8, 2014
4.8/5 89% Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) " This sequel fully displays the exciting power that Marvel's Phase Two is capable of. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Mar 27, 2014
3.8/5 75% Nymphomaniac: Volume I (2014) " Von Trier is a true talent whose filmmaking ability had me genuinely invested in this very emotional experience. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Mar 20, 2014
3.2/5 41% Divergent (2014) " I would have liked a few more scenes with the underused Kate Winsleet than some of the unnecessarily long training sequences but "Divergent" was still a pleasant surprise; utilizing a likable female heroine." — Schmoes Know
Posted Mar 20, 2014
4.5/5 65% Bad Words (2014) " Those who may be put-off by foul mouths may want to tread lightly into this comedic romp, but "Bad Words" is by far one of the best times at the movies I've had in a while." — Schmoes Know
Posted Mar 7, 2014
3.8/5 73% Enemy (2014) " A great exercise in unconventional film making, and it left me thinking about it long after the film was over." — Schmoes Know
Posted Mar 7, 2014
4/5 79% Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014) " Along with the brilliance that was "The Lego Movie", "Mr. Peabody and Sherman" help to make animated features the bright spot in a young 2014 movie year." — Schmoes Know
Posted Mar 7, 2014
2.5/5 42% 300: Rise of an Empire (2014) " Ultimately there's some familiar themes and storylines that "300" fans will enjoy seeing play out on the big screen, but "Rise of an Empire" fails to elevate the series to new heights." — Schmoes Know
Posted Mar 7, 2014
2.8/5 21% Son Of God (2014) " It simply doesn't hold up on the big screen the way it may have when it aired on television last year." — Schmoes Know
Posted Feb 28, 2014
2.8/5 60% Non-Stop (2014) " It's not terrible by any means, but by the second half of the movie we know most of the moves it's going to make and the whodunit vibe goes out the door in favor of a more straightforward, predictably generic action flick climax. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Feb 27, 2014
2.4/5 29% Pompeii (2014) " The performances are fine (even with Keifer Sutherland's silly accent) and Kit Harrington has the makings of a movie star...but while "Pompeii" showed promise early, this disaster film ends up being just another disaster." — Schmoes Know
Posted Feb 20, 2014
3/5 68% About Last Night (2014) " It's acceptable for young 20-somethings to be getting hammered night after night dealing with heartbreak, but these two are in their 40's. Maybe they need to hit a meeting somewhere instead? Aside from that this is decent remake. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Feb 14, 2014
3/5 48% RoboCop (2014) " What was so striking about the original was that Murphy, the cop who would become Robocop, was the dead come back to life as a cyborg. Here, although a fun action flick, we merely get "HumanCop."" — Schmoes Know
Posted Feb 14, 2014
4/5 95% The LEGO Movie (2014) " It's hard to believe that a Lego film hasn't happened until now, but maybe that was all part of the strategic design: now more than ever, after January 2014, "The Lego Movie" is just what audiences need. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Feb 6, 2014
2.4/5 32% The Monuments Men (2014) " Clooney as a director must be faulted here for captaining a production that, for all it's potential greatness, ends up being a forgettable, boring mess. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Feb 6, 2014
2.8/5 33% Labor Day (2014) " The caliber of acting keeps us interested longer than maybe we should, but ultimately "Labor Day" never has the feel of a Jason Reitman film. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Jan 31, 2014
3.2/5 22% That Awkward Moment (2014) " Teller has a good thing going that I hope doesn't pigeon-hole him in the future, and Jordan, though underused, is also continuing his run as a young star to watch. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Jan 31, 2014
2.4/5 22% Gimme Shelter (2014) " I think I would've rather seen this depicted a 5-minute feature on a newscast than to stretch it out over a feature film. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Jan 24, 2014
1.5/5 4% I, Frankenstein (2014) " The film goes from bad to hilarious in a few spots, but for the most part it's just loud and plodding. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Jan 24, 2014
1.5/5 18% Ride Along (2014) " I'd recommend watching one of Hart's stand-up specials and saving your cash until a better comedy comes along this year. " — Schmoes Know
Posted Jan 18, 2014
.5/5 18% Devil's Due (2014) " How many more of these can we watch and still enjoy the impact of "The Blair Witch Project" or "Paranormal Activity"? I'll try to forgive those films for spawning such boring evil but "The Devil's Due" is due no forgiveness whatsoever." — Schmoes Know
Posted Jan 18, 2014
Showing 1 - 50 of 204
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