|
0/5
|
46%
|
Secret Window (2004) |
"
Another lousy movie adapted from Stephen King's writing; another slander against the mentally ill; another energetic Depp performance in a losing cause."
—
Mixed Reviews
Posted Aug 6, 2004
|
|
|
70%
|
Ocean's Thirteen (2007) |
"
A subpar A-Team episode with George Clooney as Face."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 10, 2007
|
|
|
7%
|
License to Wed (2007) |
"
Forget blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, wasting our time with License to Wed is the one unpardonable sin."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 8, 2007
|
|
|
23%
|
Evan Almighty (2007) |
"
Feebleminded slapdashery."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jun 23, 2007
|
|
|
75%
|
Secret Honor (1984) |
"
Does anyone have a clue what Altman was driving at with this intense glob of lunacy?"
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Nov 19, 2005
|
|
|
92%
|
Gabriel Over the White House (1933) |
"
Gabriel Over the White House encourages its viewers to live the fantasy of the philosopher-king, but never counts the costs of such a regime."
—
Mixed Reviews
Posted Nov 19, 2005
|
|
|
25%
|
Bewitched (2005) |
"
I'll have some of what Nora Ephron's having, as long as I don't have to watch her movies."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Nov 19, 2005
|
|
|
65%
|
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967) |
"
If you guessed, 'a wheezy social problem drama,' you're right."
—
Mixed Reviews
Posted Nov 19, 2005
|
|
|
93%
|
Good Night, And Good Luck (2005) |
"
Not only was Good Night, and Good Luck filmed in black-and-white, it was written and acted that way, too. This is Good versus Evil for Political Dummies."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Nov 5, 2005
|
|
|
85%
|
Batman Begins (2005) |
"
The class dynamics of Batman Begins are just insufferable. Thank heavens we have our incorruptable masked moneybags to keep the criminal poor in line. "
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jun 17, 2005
|
|
|
——
|
Leap Year () |
"
Slow-moving silent comedy which didn't get screened for sixty years because of Arbuckle's scandal; mainly of historical interest."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jun 7, 2005
|
|
|
72%
|
Primer (2004) |
"
I didn't understand Primer; worse yet, I didn't care."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jun 1, 2005
|
|
|
45%
|
The Day After Tomorrow (2004) |
"
Preposterous, slow, and unimaginative."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Feb 20, 2005
|
|
|
81%
|
Ray (2004) |
"
Yet another ho-hum man of genius biopic, showcasing a scenery-chewing lead-behaving-badly, shoddy Freudian psychoanalysis, and cliche bottom-of-the-ninth redemption."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Feb 3, 2005
|
|
|
0%
|
Mars Needs Women (1966) |
"
If Plan 10 From Outer Space, a.k.a. Mars Needs Women, doesn't tickle your funnybone, you really don't have one."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Feb 3, 2005
|
|
|
56%
|
Ocean's Twelve (2004) |
"
Ocean's 12 is malt-liquor-on-a-Monday stupid."
—
Mixed Reviews
Posted Dec 12, 2004
|
|
|
21%
|
Caligula (1979) |
"
Caligula turns the Julian dynasty's most violent chapter into a sleazy snoozefest. Even the Penthouse Pets look pained to be decorating this historic bomb."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Nov 25, 2004
|
|
|
56%
|
The Polar Express (2004) |
"
This praiseworthy film has been awarded highest honors from Puissant Guide and All-Fertile Giftgiver Kris Kringle."
—
Mixed Reviews
Posted Nov 17, 2004
|
|
|
84%
|
The Motorcycle Diaries (Diarios de Motocicleta) (2004) |
"
An unexpected renaissance in Soviet filmmaking."
—
Mixed Reviews
Posted Oct 25, 2004
|
|
|
10%
|
Taxi (2004) |
"
License revoked."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Oct 16, 2004
|
|
|
48%
|
A Home at the End of the World (2004) |
"
All roads lead to ruin in Home's world, lending an unexpectedly reactionary tone to the work."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Oct 3, 2004
|
|
|
69%
|
Porn Star - The Legend of Ron Jeremy (2001) |
"
Porn Star runs out of insight and surprises long before the closing credits roll."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Oct 2, 2004
|
|
|
90%
|
Going Upriver - The Long War of John Kerry (2004) |
"
John Kerry may well be the conscience that America needs at its helm. But I'd never trust a 90-minute campaign ad like Upriver to tell me that. "
—
Mixed Reviews
Posted Oct 2, 2004
|
|
|
40%
|
Bounce - Behind the Velvet Rope (2000) |
"
Self-important knuckleheads bloviate on club life. Though docs are reknown as tools to create empathy, Bounce merely confirms the worst prejudices of its audience."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Sep 26, 2004
|
|
|
57%
|
Kurt & Courtney (1998) |
"
Unenlightening."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Sep 26, 2004
|
|
|
76%
|
L'Auberge Espagnole (Pot Luck)(Euro Pudding)(The Spanish Apartment) (2003) |
"
European Union navel-gazing plus braying youth worship equals L' Auberge Espagnol."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Sep 1, 2004
|
|
|
79%
|
Stoked: The Rise and Fall of Gator (2002) |
"
Stoked gives a young woman's rape and murder almost no narrative weight -- it is merely the disappointing spoiler to a talented skateboarder's career."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Sep 1, 2004
|
|
|
22%
|
AVP - Alien Vs. Predator (2004) |
"
If you're aching for lines like, 'Well, that tunnel didn't dig itself,' and 'My enemy's enemy...is....my friend?,' run don't walk to AVP."
—
Mixed Reviews
Posted Aug 14, 2004
|
|
|
81%
|
The Bourne Supremacy (2004) |
"
Bourne himself hovers above mere physical threats, draining this action movie of any urgency."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Aug 13, 2004
|
|
|
71%
|
Cold Mountain (2003) |
"
Cold Mountain is one cold teat -- tough and lifeless, yielding nothing. When even a semi-nude Jude Law can't save a movie, it's time to go direct to video."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 31, 2004
|
|
|
2%
|
The Master of Disguise (2002) |
"
Master of Disguise may be a real hoot, if you're under 10 years old, or drunk, or both. Not a bad time-waster on a rainy Sunday, but a time-waster nonetheless."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 25, 2004
|
|
|
——
|
Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow (1994) |
"
Easily the worst in a miserable franchise, Mission to Moscow makes Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol look like Battleship Potemkin."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 24, 2004
|
|
|
0%
|
Police Academy 6 - City Under Siege (1989) |
"
Par for the Academy course, the comedy is so-so but the 'action' sequences are dull beyond belief."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 24, 2004
|
|
|
88%
|
Titanic (in 3D) (2012) |
"
Abyss-mal."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 23, 2004
|
|
|
47%
|
The Mummy Returns (2001) |
"
The mummy may, but the audience shouldn't."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 21, 2004
|
|
|
84%
|
The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976) |
"
Imaginative sci-fi elements and intense performances ruined by leaden pacing."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 21, 2004
|
|
|
26%
|
Godzilla (1998) |
"
Where's stock footage of Raymond Burr when you need it?"
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 19, 2004
|
|
|
——
|
Murder at Devil's Glen (1999) |
"
Fraternity pranks that go beyond beer, barnyard animals, and industrial adhesive."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 18, 2004
|
|
|
20%
|
Heavyweights (Heavy Weights) (1995) |
"
The first American movie to explore the link between processed cheese and the need for love. A Hamburglar Joint."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 18, 2004
|
|
|
43%
|
Revolution OS (2002) |
"
Tells a lot about the rationale of the open-source movement, but shows virtually none of its fruits. Interviews only open-source advocates. "
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 18, 2004
|
|
|
31%
|
Head of State (2003) |
"
Chris Rock suffers from painful verbal constipation in this PG-13 clunker. Hollywood, make it NC-17 when Chris and Bernie run for re-election. "
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 18, 2004
|
|
|
——
|
Police Academy 5 - Assignment Miami Beach (1988) |
"
Surprisingly close to good, surprisingly close to fun, and the best Police Academy movie, No. 5 still reeks of desperation."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 18, 2004
|
|
|
0%
|
Police Academy 4 - Citizens on Patrol (1987) |
"
Quite possibly the least essential movie ever made. A call to arming the elderly."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 16, 2004
|
|
|
40%
|
Police Academy 3 - Back in Training (1986) |
"
Deadly-dull pacing and overuse of old gags ruin Police Academy 3, the first of the franchise to come anywhere near 'enjoyable.'"
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 16, 2004
|
|
|
25%
|
Double Jeopardy (1999) |
"
Double Jeoprady has all the legal savvy of the O.J. Simpson jury."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 16, 2004
|
|
|
14%
|
View from the Top (2003) |
"
Miss Paltrow? We're gonna need that Oscar back."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 16, 2004
|
|
|
23%
|
Police Academy 2 - Their First Assignment (1985) |
"
More trash, though graced with the franchise's best actor, Bobcat Goldthwait."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 16, 2004
|
|
|
47%
|
Police Academy (1984) |
"
A Reagan-era screed against affirmative action, Police Academy warns what misfits and lowlifes wait to pour through the floodgates."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 16, 2004
|
|
|
58%
|
Splendor (1999) |
"
Splendor, purportedly a a sex farce, has had all of its joy and energy surgically removed."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 14, 2004
|
|
|
50%
|
The Babe (1992) |
"
The weakest baseball movie not to star Tom Selleck, Corbin Bersen, or a team of lovable black inner-city tots."
—
Low IQ Canadian
Posted Jul 14, 2004
|
79%
33%
54%
52%
