MaryAnn Johanson

MaryAnn Johanson
  • "It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage." -- Raiders of the Lost Ark
  • "One should not believe in an ism." -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off
  • "It's not that I'm lazy; it's that I just don't care." -- Office Space
  • "There's not a lot of money in revenge." -- The Princess Bride
  • Agrees with the Tomatometer 76% of the time.

    MaryAnn Johanson's reviews (from any publication) always count toward the Tomatometer because this critic is a Tomatometer-approved critic.

    Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

    Showing 51 - 100 of 3758
    Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
    74% The Connection (2015) "With supercool 70s chic and a smart crime thriller vibe, this is a welcome throwback to action dramas of the past, before they chose spectacle over story. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 29, 2015
    81% Results (2015) "Bracingly off-kilter, a sort of anti rom-com that sends up a cultlike subculture while embracing the full, curious humanity of those who live in it. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 29, 2015
    81% Man Up "I hate movies like this, in which it's meant to be adorable when people lie in the name of love. And I particularly hate what this movie does to Lake Bell. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 28, 2015
    50% San Andreas (2015) "Cornball disaster-porn melodrama... in 3D! Dumb, insulting, and bloodless. It's Hollywood's subconscious death wish brought to life, in more ways than one. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 28, 2015
    18% The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence) (2015) "I have a terrible suspicion that filmmaker Tom Six would be delighted to learn that someone in the real world had tried to create a human centipede. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 27, 2015
    11% The Loft (2015) "Plausibility isn't in the cards for this odious excuse for a thriller. This is all about sexy danger, for sociopathic, misogynistic values of 'sexy danger.' " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 27, 2015
    18% Strange Magic (2015) "Apparently this was inspired by A Midsummer Night's Dream, but it has about as much in common with that as Burger King does with Macbeth. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 24, 2015
    87% Moomins On The Riviera (Muumit Rivieralla) "The hand-drawn animation is serene and charming, but the story and characters are so unpleasantly retrograde that I found little enjoyment here. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 23, 2015
    33% Poltergeist (2015) "If you have any inclination to see this, just rewatch the original. You will lose nothing, and you'll have a far better time. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 22, 2015
    50% Tomorrowland (2015) "It gets a tad heavy-handed, but my eyes welled with tears of geeky joy at the film's embrace of an optimism it steadfastly refuses to see as old-fashioned. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 21, 2015
    10% Return to Sender (2015) "For almost the entire running time of this movie, we have no idea what it is about. What is it trying to say? What sort of story is it trying to tell? " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 21, 2015
    48% The Film Critic (2015) "A film critic turned filmmaker seems intent on confirming negative stereotypes about critics... and that's before his movie gets truly unpleasantly smug. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 20, 2015
    74% Big Game (2015) "A kid rescues the President. It sounds like a joke movie The Onion might invent to satirize Hollywood preposterousness, but I swear to god, it's real. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 19, 2015
    No Score Yet Cowboys Vs. Dinosaurs (2015) "If you guessed that this is a cheap pre-Jurassic World cash-in, congratulations: you are smarter than this padded-out pile of cut-rate cinematic junk. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 19, 2015
    26% Every Secret Thing (2015) "A slow burn mystery in which the secrets aren't so much about the crimes it explores but truths of women's emotional lives that are too often ignored. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 17, 2015
    50% The Man Who Saved the World "Meet the crotchety, bitter old man who, back in 1983 as a crotchety, bitter younger man, refused to initiate global nuclear war. A true story! " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 15, 2015
    76% Good Kill (2015) "There are important issues running through this, but the film forgets to be sufficiently engaging in the course of being Significant. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 15, 2015
    81% A Royal Night Out "A bit of House of Windsor fan fiction: cute but slight, though the re-creation of London's citywide VE Day celebrations is kind of amazing. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 15, 2015
    65% Pitch Perfect 2 (2015) "Some sweet sisterhood and truly fantastic musical performances get dragged down by awkward, lazy, embarrassing attempts at humor. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 14, 2015
    98% Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) "Astonishing. Achieves its grotesque, magnificent brutality in an old-fashioned way that serves as a smackdown to bloated, sterile CGI monstrosities. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 13, 2015
    81% Testament Of Youth (2015) "A compassionate, distressing tale of a woman's determination to find her own purpose, full of heartbreaking moments that pile up until they're unbearable. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 13, 2015
    86% Honeytrap "[B]rilliant and necessary... a difficult, upsetting film, quite harrowing in its unflinching look at the everyday horrors of ordinary lives. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 8, 2015
    95% Girlhood (2015) "[N]uanced and unvarnished... with its rare depth and compassion for people too often ignored on film... [S]earingly authentic... " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 8, 2015
    86% Top Five (2014) "Writer, director, and star Chris Rock is so close to something great here, but he gives in too easily to the unchallenging and the very conventional. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 7, 2015
    59% Spooks: The Greater Good "A ridiculous, rote action thriller, but that doesn't mean it isn't entertaining, crammed with all sorts of macho emoting and spy nonsense as it is. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 7, 2015
    54% The Age of Adaline (2015) "A pleasant and undemanding romantic drama that takes great care not to upset you unduly with strong emotion or embarrassing passion. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 6, 2015
    85% Boy Meets Girl (2015) "I don't think I've ever seen a smarter, warmer, more honest depiction of human sexuality than this roundrobin of emotion and attraction. I love this movie. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 4, 2015
    20% Ooops! Noah is Gone... (Two by Two) (2015) "This spectacularly ill-conceived movie is what happens when a cheap ripoff cannot even rise to the level of crass Hollywood junk. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted May 1, 2015
    61% Unfriended (2015) "There's little less compelling than a vague evil spirit with loosely defined powers doing random 'scary' things as required by the script. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 30, 2015
    85% Far From the Madding Crowd (2015) "Ridiculously romantic in all the best ways, and more modern, more progressive, and even just plain more grownup that half the movies thrown at us today. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 29, 2015
    89% Still Alice (2015) "Julianne Moore's terror at watching her own emotional and intellectual life slip away is palpable, and much scarier to me than any slasher movie. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 28, 2015
    71% The Emperor's New Clothes "Russell Brand's angry-funny rant about the current system of widescale economic injustice is concise, comprehensible, and newly infuriating. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 25, 2015
    74% Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) "Not without problems, but continues the Avengers tradition of big, bold blockbusters that don't need to toss away thoughtfulness to remain pure popcorn fun. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 23, 2015
    24% Child 44 (2015) "Overly complicated yet somehow anticlimactic, and constructed more with pat Hollywood pomp rather than the authentic grit it demands. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 22, 2015
    19% Monsters: Dark Continent (2015) "Suffers from a terrible case of cinematic aphasia. Clearly thinks it's saying something important and deep, but makes no damn sense at all. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 22, 2015
    75% Alex of Venice (2015) "Mary Elizabeth Winstead is eminently relatable in a compassionate, human-scaled movie of the sort that movies have almost forgotten of late. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 20, 2015
    40% A Little Chaos (2015) "Romantic and funny and smart and wise and just plain different. This is a historical costume dramedy romp about gardening. How cool is that? " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 17, 2015
    69% The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014) "This isn't only another rote slasher movie, full of ridiculous coincidences and obvious red herrings: it's actually worse than that, yet thinks it's clever. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 15, 2015
    69% The Salvation (2015) "Nearly Blazing Saddles without the jokes: all genre conventions with none of the fun, just your inescapable expectations met around every sun-blighted corner. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 15, 2015
    6% Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) "Hard to believe, I know, but this is a real movie that real people have unashamedly put their names to. Because a sweet paycheck trumps human dignity. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 13, 2015
    85% John Wick (2014) "Funky-elegant, weirdly funny, visually intoxicating. I love this movie so much for how it's different about being more of the same old stuff we always love. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 10, 2015
    53% Woman in Gold (2015) "A deeply moving and very satisfying piece of entertainment that knits up seemingly disparate elements in a tapestry of family pain and pride. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 10, 2015
    14% Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015) "Not so much a movie as a mismatched mix of dick jokes and rampant homophobia. I'm kidding: There aren't any actual jokes here. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 9, 2015
    63% The Water Diviner (2015) "When director Crowe sticks to historical adventure, his film is tense and exciting. But it lacks a sense of magic that it needs to make it fully engaging. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 8, 2015
    25% Beyond The Mask (2015) "Wannabe Christian swashbuckler throws a lot of stuff up on the screen in the hopes that something will stick as exciting and romantic. None of it does. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 8, 2015
    72% The DUFF (2015) "This high-school comedy avoids the worst clichés of the genre and resists rather than indulges the worst tendencies of adolescence. Which is a rare thing. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 6, 2015
    89% Spring (2015) "A same-old male-ego-stroking romantic-wish-fulfillment fantasy becomes actually enraging when it adds a sci-fi-horror twist. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 3, 2015
    83% While We're Young (2015) "This stinging GenX midlife meltdown is a bit strained in its plot, but that's balanced out by lots of melancholy wisdom and bittersweet wit. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Apr 2, 2015
    96% A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014) "The Iranian skateboarding vampire feminist spaghetti western we have all been waiting for, creepy cool and gorgeously sinister, engorged with suspense and desire. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Mar 31, 2015
    81% Furious 7 (2015) "Too long, too convoluted, too sentimental, and too ridiculous. Some will say those are its good points. Will they embrace the homoeroticism too? " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Mar 30, 2015
    37% The Face Of An Angel (2015) "A contemplative film pondering the nature of the difference between reality and fiction, one with resonance beyond the true-crime story it's kinda sorta about. " ‐ Flick Filosopher
    Posted Mar 27, 2015
    Showing 51 - 100 of 3758