Michael Ordoña

Michael Ordoña

Agrees with the Tomatometer 67% of the time.

Michael Ordoña's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Chronicle

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

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Showing 1 - 50 of 138
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
2/4 55% Paper Towns (2015) "Self-absorption might be a common teen trait, but its glorification here may fail to excite those old enough to know they don't know everything. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Jul 23, 2015
0/4 60% Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015) ""Insidious: Chapter 3" is simply not scary. Not a bit, not a whit. Except that the audience will be terrified of the next stabbing of their eardrums, at generally predictable intervals. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Jun 4, 2015
2/4 54% Maggie (2015) "Despite the novel premise and the strong acting - yes, strong acting in a Schwarzenegger movie - "Maggie" simply doesn't take root. That's sad to admit, because it's the kind of film one wished were better. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted May 7, 2015
1/4 61% Unfriended (2015) "The inevitable meltdowns feel unearned because of predictable, yet unmotivated, character turns. There's no one to root for, not even the dead girl. Nothing seems important enough. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Apr 16, 2015
2/4 37% Beyond The Reach (2015) "The flat-out awful ending ... deflates much of the goodwill built up by the rest of the film. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Apr 16, 2015
3/4 99% Song Of The Sea (2014) "The filmmakers evoke earned emotion with gentle hands. Even the monstrous antagonist is presented in such an unadorned fashion as to make it almost normal - and therefore creepier. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Jan 29, 2015
1/4 18% Strange Magic (2015) "The plot movement feels very much like an unpleasant formality, shoved forward by tiresome devices. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Jan 22, 2015
3/4 27% The Wedding Ringer (2015) "Whether gleefully treading where fools rush in or subjecting characters to surprising harm for laughs, the thing is funny; at times very funny. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Jan 15, 2015
4/4 92% Pride (2014) "This portrayal of the unlikely 1980s alliance between London gay-rights activists and striking Welsh miners is, quite simply, one of the best movies of the year so far. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Jan 5, 2015
1/4 27% Annie (2014) ""Annie" is a shiny little pebble with nothing close to a surprise in it, set in a New York that would cause Martin Scorsese to burst into flame if he walked into it. And young kids just might like it. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Dec 18, 2014
2/4 71% Interstellar (2014) "Despite its many virtues, Interstellar feels as if it doesn't quite hit the target. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Nov 4, 2014
3/4 85% John Wick (2014) "More than a few oohs and aahs will accompany Reeves' dynamic dance of death. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Oct 23, 2014
3/4 82% The Book of Life (2014) "The vibrant animated feature "The Book of Life" is a cheeky celebration of Mexican folklore with a solid cast, an irreverent sensibility and gorgeous visuals. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Oct 16, 2014
1/4 8% The Best Of Me (2014) "The actors are appealing enough and Hoffman's direction calm enough to qualify "Best" as better than its predecessors. That's rather like calling it the tallest midget, however ... " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Oct 16, 2014
1/4 2% Left Behind (2014) "With so much emphasis on proselytizing, there's little energy remaining for, you know, characters, plotting, dialogue ... pacing ... " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Oct 2, 2014
1/4 51% The Zero Theorem (2014) "An intellectual exercise in which you're never given all the variables to solve the problem - and then you find your calculator was on acid the whole time anyway. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Sep 18, 2014
63% The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby (2014) "It's an honest exploration of loss of the most devastating kind, an examination of how different people try to heal, if such a thing is possible. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Sep 18, 2014
2/4 68% God Help the Girl (2014) "Like the music, the filmmaking habitually meanders. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Sep 11, 2014
2/4 64% Life Of Crime (2014) ""Life of Crime" is well-made and -acted, especially by Hawkes and Fisher, if it's not exactly gripping or noir-ish. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Aug 28, 2014
2/4 35% Salinger (2013) "A fascinating picture of one of the 20th century's most enigmatic writers, a man who retreated from public life only to be pursued by prying fans. " ‐ San Francisco Chronicle
Posted Sep 19, 2013
3.5/5 82% Four Lions (2010) "It's not your usual comedic fodder, but the director and co-writer's extensive research and profound intellect elevate the film above mere farce. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Nov 4, 2010
1/5 9% Saw 3D (2010) "Cinema's premier torture-porn franchise at long last comes to a grisly end with Saw 3D, its seventh and possibly most meritless entry. And that's saying something. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Oct 29, 2010
1/5 40% Walkaway (2010) "Only 97 minutes but feels much longer. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Oct 28, 2010
2/5 83% Legacy: Black Ops (2010) "Aspiring for psychological drama rather than action movie, the film takes itself far too seriously. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Oct 14, 2010
2.5/5 38% Jim (2010) "Morris-Burke does deserve applause for what he has accomplished technically on a shoestring budget. His location scout is a hero. But the over-complicated, under-emotional Jim's reach ultimately exceeds its grasp. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Oct 14, 2010
1/5 0% Scar (2007) "As one character asks, "It never stops, does it?" Well, no. Not as long as people keep paying to see such dreck. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Oct 7, 2010
2/5 34% I Spit On Your Grave (2010) "Certainly, the rape and killings are more intricate, graphic, excruciating and nauseating. Hooray. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Oct 7, 2010
3/5 80% Like Dandelion Dust (2010) "Like Dandelion Dust is a well-acted, earnest film about adoptive parents' worst nightmare, dealing sympathetically with all parties in a lose-lose situation. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Oct 7, 2010
2/5 23% Chain Letter (2010) "Chain Letter is a nonsensical, bloody mess that, well, is missing a few links. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Oct 1, 2010
3/5 36% Hatchet II (2010) "The most shocking thing about the sequel is that it's a dramatic improvement. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Sep 30, 2010
2.5/5 89% Teza "The herky-jerky quality of the experience, exacerbated by writer-director Gerima's restless editing, makes Anberber's story difficult to follow. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Sep 24, 2010
4/5 56% A Mother's Courage: Talking Back To Autism (Sólskinsdrengurinn) (2010) "It's heart-rending to watch families struggle mightily to simply connect with stricken kids. Even skeptical viewers (such as this one) will be amazed, though, to see the instances of progress captured in this beautifully shot, fascinating film. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Sep 24, 2010
3/5 23% Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010) "The action is easier to read than in most films of the genre, and therefore more enjoyable. Anderson makes particular use of sets and locations to wring out more bang for the stereoscopic buck. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Sep 13, 2010
2.5/5 No Score Yet Chasing 3000 (2008) "This sincere, nostalgic, brothers-on-the-road movie has its strong points but sadly fails to do what Clemente so famously did in his final at-bat - finish on a high note. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Aug 26, 2010
3/5 No Score Yet The Kid: Chamaco (2010) "Chamaco (The Kid) is a boxing drama with an unusually high ring IQ. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Aug 26, 2010
5% Vampires Suck (2010) "Plenty of gags fall flat, but writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer... have tapped the vein more effectively than their norm, with enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Aug 19, 2010
4/5 71% [Rec] 2 (2010) "Unlike so many sequels, [REC] 2 builds nicely on the ideas introduced first time around; in particular, the nature and history of the disease, only touched on in the original, are explored much more fully here to chilling effect. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jul 8, 2010
3/5 61% The Nature of Existence (2010) "As a conversation starter ... it's an affable appetizer. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jul 2, 2010
2.5/5 32% My Last Five Girlfriends (2009) "My Last Five Girlfriends is a stab at an anti- romantic comedy, but with too dull a blade. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jul 2, 2010
2.5/5 89% The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle (2010) "The rough-edged film gets major points for originality. But its ending utterly flames out, as if the filmmakers suddenly found they had nowhere to land, so hit the self-destruct button. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jun 24, 2010
4/5 74% Splice (2010) "Splice is a hybrid that works. It's a smart, slickly paced, well-acted science-fiction cautionary tale-horror movie-psychological drama. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jun 3, 2010
2.5/5 30% Survival of the Dead (2010) "Romero is using better actors than in the past, which helps. But they are hobbled by a sometimes nonsensical script with logical lapses even genre fans will find hard to swallow. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 27, 2010
2.5/5 43% Mercy (2010) "Mercy is a romantic drama with some good qualities -- among them earnestness and strong performances -- but not enough to completely overcome the strain of its clichés. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 6, 2010
0/5 49% The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2010) "There are terrible movies and there are loathsome movies. And then there's that rare breed so idiotic, exploitative and sickening one wishes they could be scrubbed from memory. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 6, 2010
3.5/5 62% The Joneses (2010) "The Joneses is a list of grievances nailed to the door of the Church of Materialism, but the hammer never hits the audience's fingers. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 15, 2010
2.5/5 86% The Square (2010) "The angles don't quite meet in the key relationship between Ray and Carla. We're not sure what's between them -- love, lust, both or neither. That may be the filmmaker's intent, but it lowers the stakes. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 9, 2010
3/5 26% Why Did I Get Married Too (2010) "Not only is Perry in tune with his audience as always, he's unquestionably growing as a cinematic artist. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 5, 2010
2.5/5 20% The Last Song (2010) "For those wondering if the continuing popularity of such exercises might make this one worth the ticket price, the same effect might be achieved by writing names and obstacles (make some tragic) on index cards and tossing them in the air. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 31, 2010
2.5/5 67% Daybreakers (2010) "It can't be a good sign for a vampire movie when its most memorable trait is how desperate Chrysler's product placement appears. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 7, 2010
2/5 31% Bitch Slap (2010) "The target audience must be that awfully precise niche that never tires of women punching each other. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 7, 2010
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