|
0/5
|
——
|
Vampires vs. Zombies (2004) |
"
A rendition of J. Sheridan Le Fanu's classic vampire story 'Carmilla,' tossed in a wannabe-Tarantino blender with soft-core porn and zombies."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted May 2, 2006
|
|
0/5
|
25%
|
9 songs (2005) |
"
Dreary and pointless, drainingly so, and for a movie that consists basically of sex, rock 'n' roll, and drugs (in approximate order of frequency), that's pretty pathetic."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Apr 17, 2005
|
|
0/5
|
18%
|
Paparazzi (2004) |
"
The worst film I have seen in a long, long time."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Sep 12, 2004
|
|
0/5
|
——
|
Zombie Doom (1999) |
"
I knew, without a doubt, that I was watching the worst movie I had ever seen, or would ever see."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Apr 20, 2003
|
|
0/5
|
0%
|
Megaforce (1982) |
"
The kind of bad that makes you wish you were somewhere, anywhere else."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Feb 28, 2002
|
|
0.5/5
|
89%
|
A Serious Man (2009) |
"
I hated just about every agonizing, smug minute of it."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Dec 17, 2009
|
|
0.5/5
|
——
|
BloodRayne II: Deliverance (2007) |
"
This film's a minor cinematic crime entirely unworthy of my rhymes."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Apr 2, 2008
|
|
0.5/5
|
——
|
Hei mao (Black Cat) (1991) |
"
Do you want action? Suspense? Comedy? A good romance? Great acting, direction, and script? Go somewhere else."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted May 4, 2006
|
|
0.5/5
|
19%
|
Domino (2005) |
"
Only my personal vow never to walk out of a movie kept me in the theater until the end credits."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Oct 29, 2005
|
|
0.5/5
|
20%
|
The Ring Two (2005) |
"
Just about as bad as the first film was. If anything, it's a little stupider."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Apr 15, 2005
|
|
0.5/5
|
44%
|
Nabbeun namja (Bad Guy) (2001) |
"
Almost entirely garbage."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Feb 20, 2005
|
|
0.5/5
|
——
|
Zombie 4 - After Death (2002) |
"
Not the worst zombie movie I've ever seen, but it was close."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Nov 13, 2004
|
|
0.5/5
|
15%
|
Gothika (2003) |
"
Muddled and stupid."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Nov 30, 2003
|
|
0.5/5
|
43%
|
Dolemite (1975) |
"
This is not a good or enjoyable movie, no matter what the hip guy in your film class says."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Nov 19, 2003
|
|
0.5/5
|
17%
|
House of 1000 Corpses (2003) |
"
A waste of nine bucks and 88 minutes of my life."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Apr 20, 2003
|
|
0.5/5
|
13%
|
Book of Shadows - Blair Witch 2 (2000) |
"
This film ranks on my personal lists of: Worst Sequels, Worst Movies, and Worst Examples of Film-making to Cash in on a Trend."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Apr 20, 2003
|
|
0.5/5
|
0%
|
Revolt of the Zombies (1936) |
"
In many, many ways, this is not a good movie."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Dec 16, 2002
|
|
0.5/5
|
26%
|
Swordfish (2001) |
"
Trite and overdone and undercooked and thrown together and ridiculous and wasteful."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Jul 20, 2002
|
|
0.5/5
|
34%
|
Resident Evil (2002) |
"
I would say that chaos ensues, but it started the minute the opening credits started to roll, so 'ensuing' is not very helpful. Chaos reigns."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Mar 17, 2002
|
|
0.5/5
|
15%
|
Dracula 2000 (2000) |
"
Unable to add a single new thought or shot to the tired vampire genre."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Mar 10, 2002
|
|
0.5/5
|
39%
|
Hannibal (2001) |
"
An excuse for all types of revolting and offensive gore."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Feb 28, 2002
|
|
0.5/5
|
——
|
Nightfall () |
"
Do not ever rent this film."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Feb 28, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
——
|
Zombies on Broadway (1991) |
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Feb 29, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
——
|
Making the Grade (1984) |
"
The filmmakers had studied other teen comedies, but not closely enough to pick up any real feeling for their subjects."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Apr 2, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
73%
|
Idiocracy (2006) |
"
There's about 15 minutes' worth of laughs here; the problem is that the film is 84 minutes long."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Sep 30, 2006
|
|
1/5
|
11%
|
The Man (2005) |
"
There's nothing here you haven't seen elsewhere."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Sep 18, 2005
|
|
1/5
|
16%
|
Cursed (2005) |
"
Messy and disconnected, not scary but not really funny, and nearly completely uninteresting."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Mar 7, 2005
|
|
1/5
|
45%
|
The Day After Tomorrow (2004) |
"
Colossal, cheesy, and meaningless."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Jun 5, 2004
|
|
1/5
|
19%
|
The Beach (2000) |
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Feb 28, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
38%
|
Marie Baie des Anges (Marie from the Bay of Angels) (Angel Sharks) (1998) |
"
By the time the plot (if you can call it that) went off the deep end ... I had already stopped caring."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Feb 28, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
22%
|
Stigmata (1999) |
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Feb 28, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
19%
|
New Rose Hotel (1999) |
"
A major misfire from one of my favorite directors."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Feb 28, 2002
|
|
1.5/5
|
——
|
The Big Tits Dragon (Kyonyû doragon: Onsen zonbi vs sutorippâ 5) (2010) |
"
This film, called Big Tits Zombie and featuring both big tits and zombies, is unforgivably boring."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Oct 17, 2010
|
|
1.5/5
|
70%
|
Sherlock Holmes (2009) |
"
A loud, stupid film."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Jan 31, 2010
|
|
1.5/5
|
72%
|
Carmen Jones (1954) |
"
A film in which talented, attractive people sing ugly lyrics to beautiful music in other people's beautiful voices amid ugly shot framing and ill-timed cutting."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Oct 1, 2009
|
|
1.5/5
|
39%
|
Hot Rod (2007) |
"
Even the funny bits are ruined by overemphasis."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Aug 18, 2007
|
|
1.5/5
|
——
|
Dangerous Passage (1944) |
"
The bad guys ... are indistinguishable except for their hats, and our hero is indistinguishable from the deck furniture."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Jan 13, 2007
|
|
1.5/5
|
94%
|
The Music Man (1962) |
"
One of the most obnoxious musicals ever to be staged for movie cameras."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Sep 29, 2006
|
|
1.5/5
|
73%
|
Around the World in 80 Days (1956) |
"
This is the worst film to win the Best Picture Oscar."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Sep 10, 2006
|
|
1.5/5
|
24%
|
Lady in the Water (2006) |
"
It's thin stuff, stretched out to nearly two hours by Shyamalan's faith in his own abilities, but not much else."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Jul 23, 2006
|
|
1.5/5
|
——
|
Call It Murder () |
"
It wasn't really terrible, but I have no idea what kind of point it was trying to make."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted May 7, 2006
|
|
1.5/5
|
50%
|
In Old Arizona (1928) |
"
If it appears that I'm being too hard on this film, one doesn't have to look very far to see far superior films, both sound and silent, released around the same time."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted May 2, 2006
|
|
1.5/5
|
64%
|
Koroshiya 1 (Ichi the Killer) (2001) |
"
I think there is a line between ... exploring sadism and practicing it, and Miike takes a Carl Lewis long jump over that line and doesn't look back."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted May 21, 2005
|
|
1.5/5
|
——
|
Smilin' Through (1932) |
"
It shows off the weaknesses of its leads; it stews in rank sentimentality; and it suffers from an uneven tone and attention-killing pacing problems."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Feb 12, 2005
|
|
1.5/5
|
79%
|
Ivanhoe (1952) |
"
I could do while watching it was giggle."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Jan 16, 2005
|
|
1.5/5
|
——
|
Hard Rock Zombies (2004) |
"
It's atrocious, but in an enjoyble way. Except for the music, which is not enjoyable in any way."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Dec 5, 2004
|
|
1.5/5
|
30%
|
Flashdance (1983) |
"
An utterly preposterous piece of Reagan-era bootstrapping propaganda."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Sep 4, 2004
|
|
1.5/5
|
22%
|
Van Helsing (2004) |
"
Sommers is just painting by numbers."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted May 22, 2004
|
|
1.5/5
|
31%
|
Underworld (2003) |
"
Such an awful wreck of a movie that there must be a good, fun-bad movie lurking in there waiting for a good editor to dig it out."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted Oct 12, 2003
|
|
1.5/5
|
50%
|
Onmyoji (2001) |
"
The worst foreign film I have ever seen in the theater."
—
Goatdog's Movies
Posted May 4, 2003
|
78%
47%
100%
85%
45%
40%
